OwlFeathers
by treadingfire
Summary: Set in a world of rivaling kingdoms and mages. When Namina leaves her old world behind she finds solace, but her dark past will continue to haunt her and soon she's running for her life once more. Can she find the freedom she searches for and save her people? Or will she fall back into the clutches of the man who wants her and her magic for himself? Loosely based on "Donkeyskin"
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE LOCATED AT THE BOTTOM**  
(information on rating and rewrite)

* * *

Tripping and stumbling through the forests protective sheltering with only the barest highlights of moonlight to direct my path, I run for my life. My feathered cloak, while laced with magic to conceal any noise I might make while I run, is barely any protection against the cold. The summer sun has given away to a mighty chill that racks my bones and sets my teeth to chattering.

 _Away._

 _Away._

 _Away._

My blood seems to pump the mantra with every footstep. I have to get away from here.

 _Away from him_.

 _Him_.

The man I had once found mesmerizing. The man whom my uncle had practically sold me to. The man who had caused me to kill, caused me to betray everything I once held dearly. The man who controlled my every move and threatened my every out-of-step action.

My mind travels through my memories to when I had first met him five years ago. I had been an immature girl of 15 and he had been my uncle's youngest advisor. He was charming and bright and gorgeous. He still was with his shoulder length dark hair and piercing sapphire eyes. He had magic too. Someone I could relate to. Someone I could trust. _So I had thought._

The snapping of twigs from behind brings me back to the moment. While my own movements are silent, even with my exertion, my pursuers are not as agile. A chill once more sweeps through me and quickens my pace.

My throat constricts as I clutch the feathered cloak around my shoulders a bit tighter. This is my one chance. If I'm caught, it is all over. I hear the baying of dogs not far behind me. How far is the border now? One mile? Two? If I can just make it to the border I can hide. I can finally be safe.

It had been fun at first, a secret romance that my father and uncle would not have approved of. I hadn't known then that they were all playing me for the fool. They had known all along.

"I need you" he had said as he kissed me. He had bathed me in words of deepest affirmation. He had made me believe I was someone special. He had tricked me into trusting him. When I finally saw him for what he was it was too late. I had given myself to him fully. My magic, my body, my mind. He knew all my secrets and measured all my fears.

The kind smiles and soft touches had turned into controlling words and hungry embraces. I had realized too late that it had all been a game to him. I had let myself be tricked. And now I was going to pay for it with everything I held dear and even some I didn't. My life, my magic, my kingdom, and my world were what he wanted and he had almost gotten it all. This night though, the night before wedding, I have made my escape without a moment to lose.

Let him have my possessions, he can have it all, but he will not possess me anymore.

I had escaped. That one thought alone propels me to keep going. I would beat this.

The barking is closer now. I'm almost out of breath. My side heaves with the exertion and my brow and neck are beaded with sweat. The begin to thin. This is it. A garbled triumphant cry escapes my lips as I leave the forest but is halted as I notice the drop up ahead.

I have gone the wrong way!

This wasn't the bank of the river; this was a bluff, at least 50 feet high. I stop at the edge, my heart on fire, and glance down. The river lays below, a giant mirror echoing the sky. Would I survive the jump should I make it?

Even if I didn't it would be worth it.

A blur of motion to my left causes me to swirl back. A few guards and the dogs appear, still twenty or so feet away but approaching quickly. I can't see their faces through the darkness, even with the moon out.

"Stop right there!" A man's voice calls out. "I don't want to hurt you"

Like hell you don't.

I turn, and with just a moments hesitation and a prayer,

I leap.

* * *

 **AUTHORS NOTE:** This story is a T+ rating (PG-13) because of the following:  
Slight language, some content (very little. no lemons/limes. Honestly, it's mostly just kissing but some of it is non-con), thematic elements, and some violence. It is definitely not 'M' but I know some people may not find it in the lower 'T' category. Just to let you know what to expect!

If you've ever read the original fairytale _Donkeyskin_ or stories based of of it, some of the variations can be kind of dark. (i.e. Robin McKinley) Mine will not be a completely dark story. This story is only loosely based on _Donkeyskin_ with a lot of my own elements thrown in. Some of the biggest changes are as follows: It's not her father she's forced to marry (I also explored a different reason why she would be forced to marry instead of beauty) and it's a cloak of feathers instead of a coat of skins (hence the story's name). Also, while there is magic throughout the story, there are no fairy godmothers or talking animals or anything. There may be some helpful and some not so helpful magical beings that play a big part later on though.

I do hope you enjoy the story! Read and Review!


	2. Chapter 2

**_One week Before_**

I had stood on the parapet next to Daroth. He wore his golden tunic trimmed in black, his dark hair pulled back in a low bun and my uncle's crown encircling his brow. He looked like a king incarnate in the Irisidean royal colors. I had been dressed up for the occasion as well. The black dress Daroth had for sure picked out himself was backless with long pointed sleeves and detailed with a large golden floral pattern down the front. I wore my own diadem, my long brown hair left down and loosely braided over one shoulder. Kohl rimmed my eyes, causing the gray in my irises to stand out.

The gray of a tainted soul.

"People of Irisidea, we come together at this time of mourning our King and his adored brother. We are saddened by this turn of events. Princess Namina is most heartbroken over the loss of her loved ones, but I have done all I can to be by her side and console her in her time of need as we…"

I tuned out his deceitful words and began studying the crowd. Some of the people I recognized. Servants, courtiers, and courtesans I had known all my life were intermingled among complete strangers. A group of mages caught my eye where they stood off to the left, their purple cloaks shimmering in the bright morning air. These were the few mages who had been cordially invited into the gates of the inner palace for the announcement. While magic was a coveted thing in Irisidea, it did not mean one who had it would be praised or paid for the skill automatically. Those of lower classes still had to earn their place in the world through hard work and grit. Some with magic, like myself, were born into positions of monarchal power and comfort and never had to worry about such things. Then there were those, including Daroth, who had used their magic to gain place in politics and climb the ladder of Social Order to find a more comfortable spot. There were many mages scattered throughout the ranks of the court who had done good for themselves, but none so powerful as the one who stood at my side now.

Even I had not any clue of how great his power was until I had become the target of it.

Daroth explained, while I stood by his side silently, that the King had left instructions in the case something was to ever happen to him to leave the kingdom in the hands of the Council of the Advisors. As the only Advisor left, Daroth would automatically become King. My own birthright meant that I was to be Queen Regent to whoever was chosen as my husband. Our relationship was no secret, but placing the rightful heir on the throne along with the High Advisor was a sure way of avoiding any and all rebellion.

I didn't understand how the people could not see the deception before them.

He had planned all of this.

They were about to crown a monster.

As Daroth spoke to the crowd he held my hand. To the people it would look like we were united in this time of tragedy. We certainly looked the pair, regal and royal, as we were dressed. What they did not see was the tightness of the grip that caused me to flinch in pain. It was to hold me there to his side. To remind me who was in charge of whom. I may have been Princess but he always would have the upper hand. I flinched as his words brought my focus back to him and away from the crowd.

"…an outright act of war. We are investigating the murder as we speak and if the Gallenians are responsible, we will have our revenge," he continued.

It was the dumb rhetoric he had made me come up with myself. I hadn't wanted to put the blame of my family's death on the kingdom of Gallen, but a blame had to lay somewhere in order to cast wary eyes away from Daroth and I. It wouldn't have been unbelievable for such a thing to have happened anyway. The strife between the two kingdoms was growing stronger each day. If only these precious people knew it was my fault their King was dead. This would be a hanging, not a celebration of the impending wedding and coronation to come.

I didn't know which occasion would be scarier. Either way I was going to lose my life.

"But fear not, dear citizens. I, the High Advisor Daroth, and your beloved Princess Namina will always rule in fairness and goodness. To show our good will we will be hosting a ball in celebration of a new age open to all here in Renor, with the wedding and coronation to follow the morning after. Then will come the day when we may root out that unspeakable evil and give Irisidea the prosperity it's people deserves."

As he finished speaking to the crowd he turned to me and cupped my face in his palm before leaning in for a chaste kiss on the lips. I complied.

All part of the act.

"And I cannot wait for that day" he whispered so only I could hear. It was a mocking, dark whisper. His nails dug into my jaw ever so slightly.

The crowd of courtiers, mages, and peasants alike exploded into cheers and manifestations of gratitude. While only several hundred people would hear the announcements here at the palace and right outside the gates, the rest would receive it through messengers that would carry the word throughout our small country. Soon everyone would know about next week's events.

One week.

My stomach churned.

I met Daroth's eyes and saw only the glint of triumph in their ice blue depths. It ignited the small fire in me that I had thought had long ago fizzled out.

"Careful, Advisor. You're simpering. You wouldn't want to go and give yourself away." I said the words with enough venom as I could under the circumstances. I waved to the crowd as it began to hush and disperse. All to keep up appearances.

Daroth chuckled at my words.

"And you wouldn't want to anger your future husband, would you? Come, lets not keep our guests waiting Namina." His fingers traced my bare back down my spine. I only stared at him coolly before grabbing his hand from behind my back and pushing it away. He laughed and placed his hand back where it had been as he led me back into the shadows of the prison I had once called my home.


	3. Chapter 3

As I hit the water below, all the air leaves my lungs in a rush and my muscles freeze up. My body screams at the frigid temperature of the river and at the impact I receive. My throat cannot make a sound.

Had I not been in the feather cloak I know I would probably be dead from the force of the impact, but that does little comfort as I flail under the surface. I may still meet Death. My arms wave uselessly as I tumble under the water, caught in the undercurrent of the river. My cloak pulls me further down and keeps me from surfacing.

Frantically I struggle to untie it, but it won't budge.

I'm going to drown!

I try to shout for help but only succeed in pushing more air from my already screaming lungs, the sound barely audible to my own ears. I know its over. No one will ever find me. I'm going to die this way.

I feel anger sear through me that I haven't even had a chance to taste my newly found freedom as its all taken away. I'd wanted more time. Those are my last thoughts as I succumb to total blackness, pulled deeper into the current.

…

The first thing I feel when I come to is the comforting heat from the sun on my face and neck, then the lack of oxygen in my lungs. I gasp for breath.

My eyes shoot open I glance wildly around, unable to concentrate on anything in particular for a few terrifying seconds.

Then everything comes into focus.

An old man leans over me, maybe in his late sixties or early seventies. His tanned face is contorted in confusion as he studies me. I cough more water and scream simultaneously, pushing back into a sitting position and struggling to get away from him.

 _This is bad! Very bad._

He recedes, his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"Whoa there, missus, I was only helpin' ya from the river. Saw a pile of feathers near the bank and thought my dog musta' attacked another goose. I didn't realize you was a girl until I got close enough to fish ya out."

I stare, wide eyed, holding myself up on my arms. "You pulled me from the river?" I croak, horrified at the sound I make. Even my voice sounds waterlogged.

He nods, slowly lowering his hands. He can't be more than a farmer, his gray hair and beard growing wild. Dirt stained overalls cover a light brown tunic and for some reason I become transfixed on how threadbare his shoes are.

"Yes. Just now. Thought ya were dead, I did. But you survived," He says slowly.

I nod my head, unable to do much more at the moment. I had survived. But how? My eyes widen farther as I glance down at my feather cloak and finger the hem.

 _Gods above! But I'm alive!_

"Where am I?" I ask, still catching my breath. I feel like I haven't had a good breath of fresh air in months and must keep pulling it in to keep from hyperventilating. I'm soaked to the bone and my hands are wrinkled. I absentmindedly wonder how long I had been under the water.

"You're in Elnor, dear"

 _Elnor._ I mull over the name, knowing I've seen it on the map before.

"In the kingdom of Gallen, right?" I ask him.

"Yes" he looks suspicious now, his bushy brows furrowing together. "Ya musta come from a long ways away then. Irisidea? Parth?"

"Parth" I say, giving the name of the kingdom directly to the South of Irisidea. "My company was traveling to the capital of Gallen from the flatlands of Irisidea when we crossed the river. I lost my footing and fell. Not too far from here I think." The lie rolls effortlessly off my tongue. I am both relieved and ashamed.

He nods as if to say he accepts it. "You look like a Parth."

I can't disagree with that.

My mother had been a Parth courtier before marrying into the Irisidean royal family as part of a political alliance. My grey almond shaped eyes definitely are a novelty in Irisidea but according to traveling dignitaries from Parth they are practically an everyday sight in their homeland.

I rake a hand through my wet hair, pushing it off my brow before struggling to stand to my feet. The man grasps my elbow and helps me up.

It takes all I have not to yank it away from him and cower.

"How far to the capitol then?" I ask, stepping back to keep my distance. If I were in Gallen now, then I could have been underwater from anywhere from a few hours to a day or more depending on the speed of the river. The border is a long days ride from the Irisidian palace in Renor, the capitol city.

I still marvel at my luck.

No.

Not luck.

 _Magic._

I lightly touch the feathers on my cloak.

"A two weeks journey by horseback. Hopin' to catch up are ya?" he asks with a tentative smile. I nod again and ring out my cloak the best I can without taking it off. The old man continues, looking up and musing over what he tells me next. "Well there's a group from the capitol city here that'll be headin' back within the day. If we hurry I could get ya passage with them. Won't be cheap though."

The farther into Gallen I can get, the better. Daroth would soon start sending men to the borders of Irisidea looking for signs of me and combing the river between the two countries. He could be mere minutes away for all I know. The further away from the borders the safer I am.

"I can pay." I breathe. "I'll even give you payment for arranging it for me." I rifle through the pockets on my cloak until I find what I am looking for. I pull out my small pouch and fish a gold coin from its contents.

He watches me with keen interest. Just like all men, he can be bought for a price then.

"I only have Irisidean money." I hold out my palm to him with the coin. "I'm part of a group of apothecaries so we go wherever there is illness. Irisidea was having trouble with the red plague and we were there for some time."

Again, it's a half-truth. While I have no idea what an apothecary fully does and herbs elude me, I'm a healer by magic. I have power over one's soul and body and can heal just as easy as a medicine maker when it comes to most ailments. And there really had been trouble with the fever plague, but I had not been allowed to help per Daroth's orders. I still remember the argument I had had with him about it as if it were yesterday. It had been nearly a year ago.

He smiles as he takes the coin from my hand and bites it, a gesture I have never understood.

"Alright then. Lets get ya off. Name's Winton"

I nod deeply in a sign of respect for his help and feel slightly more at ease.

I'm finally on my way from Irisidea.

"I am Mina," I say, giving him a short form of my name. I flinch at the mistake and instantly curse myself.

 _Stupid girl. You couldn't have made up a stupid name at least? Dropping two letters off your name isn't going to help you hide._

I grimace, knowing its too late now, but manage to add: "It's a pleasure"


	4. Chapter 4

**_Five years Before_**

Daroth had come to the palace in a permanent position when I was fifteen and he was twenty-three. He had risen quickly through the ranks of his city and eventually had even caught my Uncle's eye when he had come for council meetings and the like. When the position of advisor had come open, he had taken the role. As my Uncle's youngest Advisor, he had been quite charismatic and most everyone who met him had become enthralled with him nearly instantly, I included. I had always found him attractive when he had visited before, but now at fifteen I was nearly a lady and he was man. My feelings for him became more romantic. The infatuation that ensued lasted several years.

I still remembered the first time we had ever spoken.

It had been nearly six months after he had arrived.

"Advisor Daroth" I had said as I curtsied. It had been in one of the small private libraries of the palace to escape my father's wrath and my tutor's harsh lecturing on proper royal protocol. After such a trying day I just needed an escape. Reading was just that for me. After choosing a book I had thought would be interesting enough, one particular tome about mage legends, I had turned to go to my favorite chair only to find the Advisor entering the solace of the library.

We were the only ones in the room.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my heart steady as I met his eyes. Running into the man I had daydreamed about constantly both excited and scared me.

"Princess Namina." He acknowledged with a bow and a smile. His shoulder length dark hair fell over his shoulder. "You are looking well today. And how are your studies going?"

I played with the spine of the book in my hands, looking down with embarrassment. I hoped with all my soul that he couldn't see the color rising in my cheeks.

"They are fine. My tutor can be exasperating but it is only to be expected."

Daroth had laughed. It thrilled me to the bone and caused my heart to go pitter-patter. I continued, heartened,

"While I do enjoy learning about and exploring my healing magic I hate his constant droning on the ethics and application that magic should have in royal life. I'd much rather work in a hospital or learn the history of healing than the dry information of 'how to apply everything to politics'"

He coughed "Well politics can be exhilarating at times. You just have to learn how to enjoy it. The challenge comes in decision-making. One wrong decision can mean exponential trouble. It keeps things interesting if the stakes are higher."

"I didn't mean to offend," I quickly added, my eyes going wide.

He waved it off and smiled.

"Oh, not at all. Besides, a beautiful thing like you would find politics boring. It can get pretty dry."

I startled at his words.

Beautiful.

I had never seen myself as beautiful. Average, yes. Pretty, maybe. I was half Parth half Irisidean and my looks reflected that. Not as exotic or lovely as some of the courtesans the men in the court kept. However, I relished the compliment, tucking it deep into my heart.

"So, what are you looking for this day?" I asked, changing the subject. I walked over to the chair I had picked out earlier and plopped down. It was an old overstuffed dark chair that was perfect for long stretches of reading and relaxing. My usual spot when I came here.

Daroth followed, taking a seat across from mine.

"I am not looking for much. Just a small bit of reprieve. A quiet place to sit and rest for a moment. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all!" I said in a way too chipper voice.

 _Namina, you are making a fool of yourself._

A moment of awkward silence passed. I tensed."Have you been to this particular library before?"

"I'm afraid to say I haven't. Even after half a year of living here I find that I have not seen half of this place."

"Ah, I see. Well, this happens to be one of my favorite places in the world"

And that was the truth. While the library was not opulent (In fact it was quite drab with the dusty bookcases and worn out sitting area lit only by a high window during the day and rusted candelabras at night) I found it had a certain grace about it.

"I can see why." He said glancing around, "Its quite peaceful"

After giving him a quick smile and a nod, I bit my lip and opened my book to read. Unfortunately, all interest in myths and magic were gone and I could only stare at the letters on the page. A few minutes passed it silence. I risked a peek above the book and was surprised to find Daroth studying me.

He sat with his hands on his knees, his face blue eyes were so startling, his gaze one I would have loved to get lost in.

Suddenly, he noticed me again and cleared his throat.

My eyes widened.

Was he embarrassed?

"Forgive me, I forget myself Princess. I was just thinking on some trying matters of state we have been dealing with lately. I did not mean to stare"

I smoothed my skirts. "That's quite alright, Advisor Daroth. I'm sure you have been very busy"

He relaxed and let out a chuckle."The busiest. But I love it."

Then came a wave of sobering, the lightest traces of humiliation creeping back into his features "I do have to admit, however, that as I looked upon you I was contemplating how nice it would be to become more properly acquainted. Perchance during the next ball King Signor holds you could save me a dance?"

It was my turn to blush.

Well, to let my blush grow deeper.

I could feel my cheeks on fire.

"I would. Thank you Advisor." I bit my lip looking around the library. My gaze snagged on the grandfather clock across the room. A quarter after four.

 _Time to go._

I stood up quickly, my book dropping to the floor.

"Forgive me"

"Here let me"

We spoke the words at the same time and I bent to pick up the book just as Daroth did. He reached it first and straightened, holding it out to me. We both laughed lightly and I took the book from his hands.

At least that was the intention.

As I took a step forward I succeeded to grab onto the book but then tripped on my dress. I had managed to step on my _damn_ hem.

"Oh!" My body pitched forward. I collided into his chest, his hands grabbing my upper arms to hold me up. With only one hand free I managed to take hold of one of his shoulders to balance myself better. I couldn't help but notice how strong and solid he felt. The blood that had finally started to fade from my cheeks came back with a vengeance.

"Are you alright Princess?"

"Yes. Quite. Excuse me." I mumbled my response quickly and stepped back after finding my balance. The warmth from his heat was gone in an instant, leaving me colder than before.

Cheeks flushed, I moved to make my exit.

"Well I must be off. I believe my father will be expecting me very soon and he can have quite a temper if I'm late." I lied, making my way to the door but sad to go all at the same time. I was just too afraid to find out what would happen if I stayed. I would make a complete fool of my self if I didn't leave now while I still had a trace of dignity left.

I stopped on the threshold, my hand on the frame, and glanced back.

"I understand completely. I hope to see you again, Princess" Daroth said with a bow and another one of his smiles.

My insides melted.

"And I you" I smiled and backed out of the library, clutching the book to my chest and adding fuel to the fire that was my ever-growing crush on this young and charming advisor.


	5. Chapter 5

Winton leads me into Elnor, a Gallen town and outpost.

I marvel as we walk into the busier part of it.

It is a quaint village at best, but it's more of the "real world" than I have ever seen. Being confined to court has made me unaware of basically everything.

The buildings are only a story tall and most of them thatch roofed. The people are dressed simply in bland colored cotton and wool. I look down at my clothing, a pale tunic and trousers I had stolen from a stable hand on the Irisidean palace grounds. I slip the owl feather cloak from my shoulders and hold it over one arm. I may be sopping wet but least I will blend in for the most part.

A few Gallen soldiers loiter the scene, causing me to quiver with anxiety.

There could be _no way_ they could have heard the news of my escape by now.

At least I hope not.

I avoid making eye contact with anyone regardless, especially the soldiers, trying to keep my gaze on Winton's back and my pace in line with his. Winton walks with purpose, the gold coin clutched tightly in his wrinkled and age marked hand.

I follow like the lost puppy I am.

We come to a small center of trade and all around me are different carts of food, baked goods, clothing, jewelry, and other items for sale. The sound of hawkers meets my ears, calling their wares with pride and excitement.

I want to explore, but I can't let myself.

"Elnor may not look like much, but come harvest time, it is one of the best places to buy yer goods. The streets of this small city will be lined with wares from all over the four kingdoms. We've even had King Xander grace us once durin' a harvest. I still remember like it was yesterday." His eyes get a dreamy cast about them as he relives the "glory days".

"That's…nice," I say, not sure how else to reply. King Xander was the former ruler of Vinerath, the kingdom under Gallen and east of Parth. I wonder if anyone from my capital has ever come here or if Winton gives this small village too much credit.

"Yes. Yes, it was" he says nostalgically. "Well the group headin' back to the capitol should be leavin within the next few hours. It's made up-a royal soldiers to the king but with the right amount of money, Im sure they will let ya-"

Suddenly, his words hit me and I stumble back. "Soldiers?!" I nearly shriek, stopping in the middle of the road. If there was any chance of someone recognizing me, it would be one of them. Better to avoid any type of authority for a while. If they have even visited Irisidea they would surely recognize me…

Winton turns to me, his face lined with confusion.

"Yes, soldiers. Is somethin' the matter with that?"

"I can't go with the soldiers," I say, my heart thumping hard against my ribs. "Can you just direct me to a road or a map of some sort I can follow? I'm really fine on my own. Really. I just cannot go with them."

Winton considers. "Well, the trail is clearly marked for most of the way. It starts the next street over bu-"

"Thank you! I'll part with you here. You've been the best of help," I say in a rush and with a bow, cutting him off.

Winton stares at me, one bushy eyebrow raised. I need to leave before he starts to question me.

"Well…good day!" the words squeak as I back away from him. My back hits something solid and I jump.

"Oh, excuse me miss." a deep voice sounds behind me. I bite my lip and turn slowly to face a man in Gallen blue-and-green.

A royal soldier's uniform.

I look him over for a split but frantic moment. He's tall and strongly built and doesn't look older than thirty. His white hair hangs to his shoulders. White is a color for the elderly and some mages. So he has power. I do not recognize him but that means nothing. He may still know who I am. My throat closes and I cannot move.

I'm instantly wary of him, though he looks at me with a kind smile.

"Are you okay? Can I help you in any way?" He asks, holding a hand out. Winton opens his mouth to speak for me but I interject, finding my voice in a rush.

"No, that is quite alright. Thank-you-Excuse-me-Good-day." I ramble, my face burning as I keep my eyes downcast and turn. I swiftly walk away from both the men. The soldier calls out to me but I ignore him and hurry my pace. I silently plead for Winton to keep his mouth shut about me. If the old man knows what is good for him he will.

Quickly cutting through the crowd I find the street Winton has mentioned. It's less populated, but people still mill about. I see few wagons loaded with goods making their way in and out of the village from the dense forest beyond and decide that must be the way.

A large sign at the end of the village road gives a series of names of towns and the approximate distance to each one via horseback and walking distance. Relief swells through me. I've found it.

Just as Winton had said, the capitol is about a fortnight out on horseback. That means it could take me nearly a month on foot! I consider my options but decide this is better than taking a chance of being recognized by the soldiers.

Surely it won't take a whole month. It has to be an exaggeration. Without a second thought, I set off on my own.

The first few hours on the road are energizing as I work out my sore muscles and my clothes finally dry. (albeit slowly)

The forest surrounding the road is peaceful and the dark green canopy from above gives sanctuary from the afternoon sun. The walk is quiet but for the song of birds and whispering of the wind through the emerald laden trees. At one point I swear I see a fawn run ahead of me. I sigh deep, content to just stroll along the road and enjoy the openness and freedom this path gives. A feeling of release settles over me as I realize this is the first time in five years I am not within a mile of Daroth.

I know he will start searching for me himself soon if he hasn't already begun. His men had almost caught me last night. I still marvel that I had survived such a fall and had been carried so far while under the water. I should be dead. While I do not wish for death, but it would be better than returning to Irisidea as little more than a puppet-slave.

 _Ugh, Daroth._

I think back to when I had first met the Advisor that now plagued me.

 _What a lovesick girl I had been. If I only had known then what I knew now, I wouldn't have loved him so._

My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven't eaten in more than a day.

Great.

I'm hungry.

…and I have no food.

I curse my stupidity and sit down in the middle of a clearing, wrapping my arms around my legs and pressing my forehead to my knees to think through this predicament.

 _Stupid girl. You should have gotten some kind of provision before leaving you have to go back!_

I have been so used to having food prepared and handed to me that I haven't thought about getting any for my journey. _I'm a princess for the gods' sakes_. But I had never realized how handicapped that would make me.

 _I cannot hunt. I do not know what to forage. I'm useless in every way possible._ _I'll never last a month out here just for the fact that I am completely incompetent when it comes to normal life._

I grumble to myself about how much time going back to Elnor is going to take when I take pause and lift my head.

But what if Daroth's men have tracked me to Elnor? Should I risk turning back?

 _Gods!_ I rub my hands on my face and groan aloud.

Hoof beats interrupt my internal struggle. The blood drains from my face and I quickly stumble up to my feet.

As quiet as I can, I slip back into the coverage of the forest and pull on my cloak and hood just as a small group of soldiers pass. There are about fifteen men, seven horses, and a small supply wagon.

I should go deeper into the woods but if I lose sight of the road I will be as good as lost.

Surely they will pass.

 _Go on. Don't stop here._ I plead silently. _Keep moving._

Then I bite my knuckles to keep from crying out as they slow.

 _Damn it!_

"We will make camp here and get an early start tomorrow" Someone calls. I curse again under my breath.

For a while I just stand there, hidden and petrified. The men mill about, completing various tasks they've probably been assigned. Some build fires or pitch tents. Others wander into the forest to hunt. None close enough to scare me from my paralysis. My mind screams for my body to move. To get away from there. I'm as good as dead if I am caught.

I hear one grey haired man give commands every so often. The Captain?

Daylight is starting to fade. _I can't just stand here all night!_ As I watch the men I notice one feed the horses from a sack and then set it on the supply wagon. There are many bags. The probability that some kind of food is contained inside at least one of them is very high indeed.

Just thinking about food makes my stomach rumble. I _need_ food. But can I chance taking one of the bags?

Sunset quickly fades into twilight, giving me more cover in the semi-darkness. Maybe an hour or so has passed since they have first arrived. My heart has settled and I decide I will leave, but first, If I can just reach that wagon, I might be able to have nourishment for the rest of my travels.

As soon as all the men seem to be occupied, I make sure my hood is up and skirt around the clearing to the small wagon and search through the contents.

It only takes me a minute to find what I want. I quickly sort through bags of feed, oats and the like, until I come to a burlap sack full of apples.

This will work perfectly! I can survive on this enough until the next village surely.

Now comes the challenge of stealing it without anyone noticing. I'll have to carry it. Dragging it would make too much noise and my cloak won't mask its sound, only my own. I nearly smile at my own cleverness. I might just make it yet!

I count to three and then lift. The bag is heavy but my adrenaline helps me manage. I'm running on pure survival instinct, an instinct I've never had to use. As I heft it over my shoulder, someone speaks.

"You know those are for the horses, right? I don't think they'd appreciate you taking their treats. And it's not like it's a criminal offence to steal or anything. Especially from the King's guard." I spin to see a tall soldier, his helmet obscuring his features. Sarcasm laces his voice.

I freeze in place, the bag of apples slipping from my grip and thumping to the ground. Some of the apples roll out of its mouth and bump into the wagon's wheel with barely audible thuds.

Looking at the soldier and then at the spilled apples fruit I know what I must do.

I don't hesitate.

I run.

"Stop! Thief!" The soldier cries. I can hear him chasing after me.

I have to lose him!

Forget staying close to the road. All I want now is to be far away from here.

In less than a minute I come to a short but rocky hill and begin to climb up, praying to make it to the top before he or any of the other soldiers catch up. As I make it over the bank and clamber to my feet, panting, my eyes dart around searching for safety in the near darkness.

There's a small grassy clearing before the forest becomes dense once more and dark as the night.

If I can just make it there I can hide.

My breath is ragged as I stumble forward.

 _Almost there!_

I make it only a few feet into the trees when the soldier catches my wrist.

"Oh no you don't!" With a yank he sends me flying in the opposite direction. I scream as I land a few feet short of the rocky slope. My whole body is shaking. The soldier walks towards me deftly.

I scramble to get away but the man charges once more, tackling me to the ground and knocking the hood back from my face. I screech like an animal and reach out to claw his face but he grabs my arms and holds them by my head.

I'm pinned, the man sitting on my chest.

"Get off me you bastard!" I scream and thrash. They can't send me back! Won't!

Unexpectedly, the man lets go of my arms and gasps. My body stills in shock at his outburst and I lay there staring wide eyed.

"You!" He cries in surprise.

 _Oh, Gods._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Five Years Before**_

"I'm glad we are friends," Daroth had once said.

After our meeting in the library he did in fact search me out at the next ball. It was a few months after our encounter, and as usual, had to be a flamboyant and grand affair. While I loved dancing and parties I always hated how much the aristos of Irisidea wasted the peoples money on such things. I had been a moody young woman and open with my thoughts. Usually I would voice my opinion to my father and uncle, but this time I was too enthralled with the thought of dancing with Advisor Daroth.

The night of the ball came.

"Presenting her highness the Priness Namina Kalea Dorn, Daughter of High Prince Karthon and Niece of our Beloved King Signor"

I always had hated the announcing of titles but I grinned and stood with my father and uncle as they were announced, first my father and then my uncle, the King.

After the frivolity of King Signor's speech, some rubbish about the greatness of Irisidea and the splendor that was our world, the dancing began.

I glanced around, my eyes searching for the Advisor but failing in my attempt to locate him.

A voice cleared and I turned, my heart rising then sinking as I saw it was only one of the aristo boys my age: a scrawny but tall boy who flirted with the servants whenever he visited court. I was pretty sure he had bedded at least one.

"May I have this dance, Princess?"

I obliged.

Several more dances followed with other young men I did not admire or respect. Riches and women. That's all they cared about. That's all they would continue to care about. One day, they would pass it on to their children. Money and lust. My "loved ones" were the worst. Both of them kept many lovers as if for sport.

It sickened me.

The ball was nearly over and I was growing tired of keeping an interested face.

Politely as possible, I excused myself from the group of ladies I had ended up in. They ignored me as I left, absorbed in their talk of men and court gossip.

It was always the same with these people.

With all this power, one would think that the whole kingdom would prosper, but no. There was a wide gap between the rich and the poor. My uncle had no plans of changing that.

I mulled over it all as I walked towards the large doors that led out into the palace complex, letting all my teenage angst into my thoughts when I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

I sighed and turned, ready to tell whatever suitor who wished to dance to leave me the hell alone when I found myself looking into those startling blue eyes.

"Advisor!" I squeaked, dropping into a curtsy.

"Princess Namina," he bowed. "May have this dance?"

With that one moment, my mood changed from angry and tired to giddy and pleased.

We danced the next three dances before the ball ended, making small talk and occasionally laughing.

When it all had ended and everyone returned to their homes or quarters within the palace complex, the young Advisor had caught my hand.

"May we meet again some time?"

I blushed as I smiled "I would like that very much"

At first we only saw each other by chance. Then we would make it a habit to bump into one another in various places of the palace during certain days just to say hello and exchange a few words. We would smile and laugh in those brief little moments. They had made bad days better and grueling days easier.

I loved having a secret friend to talk to that my father didn't control. Prince Karthon was a stern man who liked order and wanted things to go his way, as was fit for a second in command. Unfortunately, I was the one thing he had trouble controlling. I had an attitude that needed to be tamed he would tell me. I was a thorn in his side and too much like my mother. He would say the words often.

And I loved it.

What I didn't love is how he would make his responsibility to know who was in my life and what I did at all times of the day just to spite me.

For this I was giddy to have something that he could not dictate. And with a man I found to be handsome and nice no less.

Our friendship continued for two blissful years.

Then it got better.

At least that's what I had thought at the time.

* * *

 _ **Three years Before**_

After I had turned seventeen, Daroth started taking more of a notice to me in a romantic way. I would catch him staring at me during state dinners and our exchanges became more and more frequent. There were excuses made to kiss my hand or touch my hair. I relished in it and gladly welcomed his affections.

Soon we were meeting together for longer periods of time and in secret.

Everything changed the day when we had met in the large vine covered pagoda over by the lake.

I had worn my favorite dress at the time, an off the shoulder chiffon peach gown with floral detailing along the hem.

"Princess Namina," Daroth had said as he kissed my hand.

I blushed and curtsied.

"Advisor Daroth" He took my arm and led me through the intricately decorated gardens that rimmed the water. This was one of the many places we liked to spend time together. It was secluded and peaceful. A perfect getaway.

They were simple walks that we took, nothing special. We would talk about our day or about the latest Irisidean gossip.

Daroth would tell me of the council's many workings and what the other six advisors thought about whatever policy they were attacking that week. Ultimately all decisions were made by the King but he had seven advisors who represented different parts of Irisidea, one high advisor and six lower, to help him with various kingdom management. Daroth was the youngest and lowest advisor at the moment, but one of the advisors was ailing in health.

It wouldn't be long until he moved up in rank.

On this specific walk we stopped underneath a willow tree on the bank. I looked up and touched one of the hanging branches, letting my fingers trail down the smooth leaves.

I turned to see Daroth looking at me with such intensity that I nearly stepped back.

"Advisor?" I asked.

He seemed to hesitate for just a moment before moving towards me and taking my hand in his.

"I'm sorry. I've waited so long and I know its improper, but… Princess… may I kiss you?" I felt the blood rush to my cheeks at the words. They were a surprise but not unwanted. I nodded, biting my lip. My heart pounded out of control. I wanted this.

So _badly_ I wanted this.

He leaned forward and put his hand on my cheek, warm and soft against my skin. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel as his lips touched mine. The kiss was chaste but it still made me feel light, like I was floating on a cloud. My heart soared above Irisidea with my utter joy. I smiled when he withdrew and opened my eyes. Daroth had smiled back before leaning in for another kiss.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time." He said softly, his forehead resting against mine. He brushed my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"As have I." I whispered, looking into his eyes and trying to absorb everything about this moment.

It had been my first kiss.

And it had been, in my mind, _perfect_.

After that day, we had started to kiss more and more. Slowly at first, but soon more passionately. Nobody knew of our meetings and exchanged kisses. It was our secret to be shared. Our bit of the world hidden from everyone else. Our topics of conversation had turned from court dealings to personal matters of the heart like hopes and dreams. I was falling head over heels for him and I thought he was for me as well.

It had been a time of ignorant bliss...


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

* * *

 _Unexpectedly, the man lets go of my arms and gasps. My body stills in shock at his outburst and I lay there staring wide eyed._

 _"You!" He cries in surprise._

 _Oh, Gods._

….

He speaks, still straddling me. "You're the crazy girl from the village!"

I look at him with wide eyes thinking he's one loop short of a knot when I realize he must have been the guard I had bumped into in Elnor. How had I not made the connection that this was the party I would have traveled with? _Soldiers..._

"Yes. I am. Now can you get off me?"

He takes off his helmet. Even with only the light of the moon, I can see that his white hair is pulled back from his face in a low ponytail and his brown eyes shimmer with humor. The man smirks and lifts most of his weight from my core. "Only if you promise not to run off. I will tackle you again if I have to."

I concede. He rolls off of me and then helps me to my feet.

"So the apple thief is an apprentice of some sort? The elderly gentleman I talked to after you ran off mentioned an apothecary." I brush the dirt from my cloak and clothes underneath and pull my hair over my shoulder. The tunic and pants I had stolen in Renor are coated with grime. I know I stink of river water.

"Yes. I'm hoping to catch up with my guild in the capitol." I keep my voice level the best I can and my eyes on the ground. The lie is easier if I don't have to look at the person I'm giving it to.

"You seemed in a bit of a rush, yes. Though, apparently you were too much in a rush to gather the proper supplies for the journey to the capitol. Did you figure it would be easier to steal from others on the way instead of asking for an escort?"

I ignore the mockery lacing the question.

"I apologize for trying to take the apples. I'm just struggling right now being so far from home and all but I don't do well around others. And then... last night I thought I would die." I let the words come out, feeling the truth in them. I look him in the eyes.

He holds my stare.

"You hungry?" He asks after an awkward moment. "We can strike up a deal. Food and travel for medicine. A few of my men are struggling under a nasty cold they can't seem to shake. You don't even have to pay us. Just heal them and we will take you halfway across the continent if you please. The stew is better than half-rotted apples anyway."

"Can't _you_ heal them?" I furrow my brow. He _is_ a mage. I know that for sure.

He huffs in good humor. "They see the hair and they think I'm an all powerful sorcerer. Every time," he mumbles. "I may be a mage but I'm not that powerful. Petty tricks really. No healing or soul controlling or things of that caliber. Hell, I can't even make a plant grow. Barely can light a candle. My senses are sharper than the average person though. Perfect for a guard." He smiles at me. I stare blankly back.

"You don't smile much do you? Well anyhow, do we have a deal?" While I don't know anything about medicine I _can_ heal. I would have to figure something out and make it look like a more natural remedy.

But if anyone recognizes me…

At this point the risk might be worth it. This soldier hasn't figured out who I am. I will just be on my guard with the rest. At first sight of trouble I will run.

"Yes." We shake on it.

"I am Rhys, by the way, Rhys Farrowlake. Second in command among these men. And you are?"

"Mina." I say, giving him the name I had given Winton.

.

Rhys leads me into the center of their little camp. I stay a few steps behind him and hold my cloak tighter to my shoulders.

I'm scared. I'll admit it.

The last thing I want to do was travel with these soldiers and yet here I am. At least no one recognizes me so far. The stares are enough to make me want to dart back into the forest, curl up in a foxhole, and die though.

A shorter and much older man, but still with a few inches on my own five feet five, comes up. He has a short and neatly trimmed grey mustache and grey hair.

The man I had heard giving the orders earlier.

I think with my limited experience of meeting captains and generals that he looks battle-hardened, but at the same time I can still imagine him as a loving, doting grandfather. It is somewhat of an oxymoron but it seems to work in his case. He looks both approachable and someone you'd never want to cross.

"Farrowslake, what is all the commotion?! Something about a thief?" The man notices me for the first time and gives me a look down.

"Who's the wench?" he says gruffly.

"Captian Gerron, this is Mina. I'm requesting permission for her to travel with us to the capitol. She's lost her traveling party and I caught her stealing the horse's apples. I mistook her for a bandit."

Captian Gerron glances at me again but holds my stare this time. I gulp, unable to look away.

He speaks to Rhys without breaking eye contact. Something in them softens just a touch.

"You arrange the accommodations and I will grant it. I don't think she really belongs with a group of soldiers but seeing the circumstances I will allow it. Our main objectives are completed so she won't be in the way."

Rhys salutes his Captain "Thank you sir."

I release the breath I hadn't known I was holding. Captain Gerron nods once and departs, mumbling to himself about strays.

More of the soldiers come to stand around, watching us with peaked curiosity.

I pull the cloak tighter around my shoulders. It has quickly become a comfort blanket against the unknown.

"So what is with the feathers on your cloak?" A large man asks. I suddenly became very aware of how I am dressed.

"It was a gift from a hunter," I mumble. _A cruel heartless hunter_.

"They look like owl feathers. That's an odd choice." He seems genuinely confused why anyone would take the time to hunt an owl of all animals. Hawks, sure. Rabbits, wolves, and foxes of course, but to hunt an owl is rare. They are seen as spiritual creatures. The animal of the Old Gods. The southern countries such as Parth and Venerath hold them auspiciously high.

"They are." I rub a hand along the soft white feathers lining the cloak. There is no reason to explain to these men why I have it.

This specific owl had been an ancient creature with no name. She had been gift from the Parth royalty to Irisidea when my mother the Lady Evelin married High Prince Karthon, my father. One could have only speculated on its real age, as it was already older than my mother at the time. Some said it was one of the old gods reincarnated. Others just thought the old bird was just that: an old bird.

I had seen it as a wise old friend I had visited every so often in the royal menagerie. Between it and Mara, my lady-in-waiting and close friend, I didn't have many people to talk to.

After my father and uncle died, Daroth had caught me talking to the creature. I wasn't crazy, but speaking out loud or even to the owl was better than nothing when I had no one else to confide in. It was a comfort I took advantage of. She may not have ever responded, but her eyes seemed to be full of unending wisdom. The next day after he had seen me with it, four days before our wedding date, he had killed the ancient owl and had it fashioned into a cloak for me.

A sort of _sick_ gift.

I had mourned the loss of my friend.

I had hated it and had planned to bury it out of respect until I found out by accident that it had magical properties.

It was then I gained hope of escaping.

It was then I started planning.

That had been barely a week ago.

"Let me introduce you to some the men." Rhys interrupts my memories. "This here is Ren." he gestures to a dark-skinned young man who looked of Venerath heritage with short black hair and broad shoulders. He wears a quiver of arrows across his back "He's probably one of the best archers in Gallen."

"Not likely." Ren says casually shrugging. Modest.

"And this is Bernard Mathenson." Rhys points to the larger portly gentleman. The one who had commented on my feathered cloak. "He is decent at sparring but his cooking is where the real battles are won. He keeps us alive."

Bernard laughs."I try, Farrowslake."

He introduces a few more men to me and I try to memorize their faces and names. It will take a while.

"She reminds me of my wife's sister. She's full Parth you know Rhys," Ren says after everyone is introduced. Some of the men begin to walk away. I'm not as interesting anymore.

 _Good._

"Her hair is so long. Much like the Lady my father used to serve." I hear another one of the soldiers whisper. I don't catch whom.

Rhys looks down at me as we become the only two people standing around. "It _is_ very long. You must spend a lot of time taking care of it. I knew a woman who had hair like that. It was her most prized possession. Though isn't hair this long a sign of affluence?"

It _was_ getting unnaturally long, down nearly to my waist. With it, I'm conspicuous. Whether or not anyone thinks I am the runaway Princess, it will draw unwanted attention. I bite my lip.

"Do you have a knife I may borrow?" He raises is brows but reaches into his pocket and consents his knife to me.

"Are you going to kill anyone with it?"

I huff in response.

Can't he just trust me? He's truly starting to grate on my nerves. Insolent man.

He notices the attitude and smirks "You can keep it if you want. You seem like you might like the added protection. If you smile once in a while I might actually teach you how to use it"

I scoff again and walk off. He may be helping me and I may be grateful for that but it doesn't mean I have to like him.

Taking the knife, I go a few feet into the forest's dark protection.

Inhaling deeply, I kneel down.

As much as I love my hair, I know I can't expect it not to be noticed. As he said, only rich women really ever wore their hair this long. But how much can I bare to part with? I finger the brown locks and ponder. Unbidden, a memory of Daroth comes: his fingers in my hair, his lips on my neck as they trail downward...

If I'm smart, I'll cut it all off.

But I know I can't part with all of it. I play with the ends and kiss them, giving my own kind of final farewell to my long hair, before bunching it up in my hand.

Taking one more deep breath, I slice the knife through my hair, shortening it to my collarbone. The release of weight I hadn't known was there is instant. I bite back a small sob as I drop the nearly fifteen inches of hair from my hands.

 _Get over it Namina. Grow up for once. This is necessary._

I slip the knife into my cloak and with shaking hands I stand and walk back into camp. It takes all my focus not to glance back at the pile of brown hair.

.

"Don't tell me you cut off all your hair because I made one comment on it" Rhys says an hour or so later when he finds me sitting against the tree, my hands around my knees. I had zoned out, getting lost in thoughts of home. How much I missed it. How much I didn't. Daroth may have been there, but I had had happy times as well in the palace. Before mother had died when I was twelve, the palace was a place of joy. She had been a light into Irisidea that was snuffed out too soon. I thought about the times I would sit in her lap on her bed, father being away in some meeting and never really paying us much mind anyhow, and she would read to me the most fantastic of stories. It was those moments I cherished most. For years afterwards, whenever I would walk by her bedroom door, I would splay my hand across the wood and utter a small prayer to her spirit. Even gone, she had given me strength to stand up for what Irisidea needed in the darkest of times. She may have been full Parth but she was more Irisidean than both my father and his brother of a King would ever have been.

Rhys has approached. Thoughts of mother dissipate as I notice he is only a few feet away holding two bowls of soup and a bundle of fabric under his arm. He sits down beside me. I flinch.

"Here" He says, handing a bowl of stew out in front of my nose. The light from the nearest fire dances across the surface of the liquid inside. I haven't realized how hungry I am until I catch a whiff of the water, vegetable, and meat concoction. As I reach for the bowl he pulls it away.

"Ah, ah. What do you say?"

I smile ruefully, wanting to say quite a few things to him, none of them ladylike or pleasant. "Thank you, Captain Farrowslake" He chuckles and pushes the bowl into my hands before digging into his own.

"Manners go a long way here, Mina. Remember that."

We eat in silence for a while and then he opens his mouth.

Again.

"So we should reach the capitol city in a little over a fortnight. There are only seven horses and no room in our wagon so you will be riding with me. Unless you'd rather run alongside with the other men, that is."

Both choices leave me with a queasy stomach, but I consent to ride.

"That's okay" I sigh. "I'll ride. Thank you"

He hands me a bundle of cloth blankets.

"Good. Glad that is settled. Here is your bedroll and with that I will leave you be, my Lady."

I turn towards him abruptly and blanch. "What did you call me?"

He smirks. "You act very prim and proper like you were born above everyone you come in contact with. Like a lady."

My heart calms slightly. He doesn't know. But he has noticed my manners. I make a mental note to work on that.

"I'm sorry. My mother was a Parth courtier. Old habits die hard," I say.

He nods and bows before walking off. "I knew there was at least some courtier in you. Well, Good night"

"Goodnight." I reply.

I set my bedroll up where I sit, away from the men. In a matter of minutes of making my "bed" and climbing in I fall into a fitful slumber.

For most of the night I toss and turn, unable to get comfortable on little more than the ground. But soon, I drift off into unconsciousness.

And then the dream begins.


	8. Chapter 8

That night I dream I'm in my father's study.

I browse over the books in his collection I have read a thousand times, my fingers grazing the spines. Out of all the places to dream up…and this is so lifelike. I can feel the old leather beneath my fingertips…

"Where are you, Namina?" The voice that I had hoped never to hear again brushes against my neck.

My eyes widen in fear.

I turn to face him and find myself pushed up against the bookcase at my back. The force brings back a bit of the fire in my soul.

"None of your concern, Advisor Daroth" I growl and push against him.

"Ah, ah" He says holding me still. "Its King Daroth to you now. With you missing, we had to show the people we were still strong. You've been gone three days."

 _Three days!_ I find myself surprised by this. Both because it gives me an idea of how long I was under the water when I jumped and because it means Daroth didn't wait to crown himself. The thought irritates me and heat courses through my blood.

"Good. You have your crown. Go ruin the world" I breathe angrily, "You deserve it"

His startlingly blue eyes seem to impale my very soul before his lips move to hover a hairs breath from my cheek. My breath catches sharply. _Just a dream. This is just a dream._

"Why am I the villain to you?" His voice snakes like silk along my jaw. I feel his hands graze my shoulders, possessive and hungry. An uncontrolled shudder shoots through me, but I will not give him the satisfaction of frightening me now. This is, after all, only a dream. He can't hurt me anymore. I take a breath before speaking the words that are more truth than I want to admit: "Because you destroyed me."

There is a moment of silence. Then Daroth backs away from me and begins to pace, his eyes never leaving me. I stay against the bookcase, my quivering hands grasping the shelves beneath me for support. "I highly doubt that my dear. You seem as alive as the moment I met you. Too headstrong, too disobedient. I _will_ see you broken. But this is not it."

He stands to the side now. I turn to face him, to glare. He has ruined me and will destroy my kingdom. What else does he want to do to me?

"You seem to have a penchant for tarnishing everything, don't you? Even people." I bite. His icy eyes catch on my hair as he turns his full attention back on me.

"You cut your beautiful hair." He fingers the just-below-shoulder-length locks. "I'm very disappointed." I stumble back out of his reach until I am at my father's desk.

Enough of this.

"Why are you here, Daroth? Can't you just let me be? You have everything you want! You have your kingdom, your revenge, and you even have the surety that nobody suspects a thing. I won't ruin that for you. So, please, leave me be."

Daroth laughs, a rough dark sound. "You are right, Namina, I do have everything I want. Except one thing." He narrows his eyes at me.

I swallow.

Hard.

I know what that one thing is.

I shake my head and plead "Anything but _that_. Please just settle for this." I wave my hand around the room. "I will let you keep Irisidea and the crown. You don't need the bond anymore. You are already powerful enough, aren't you? I won't even tell a soul how it all came to be. Just let me go free. Let me go. Please."

A dark chuckle escapes his lips as he nearly rolls his eyes at me. "Naïve little Namina. You know as well as I that I won't consider any deal that doesn't include you being at my side."

He continues, "You _are_ the only living person left who knows the truth. But if I may speak candidly, part of the revenge on your precious loved ones was the fact that you would still become my wife."

"They aren't precious to me." I spit the words with as much venom as I can given my fear.

"Come again?" He tilts his head. His feigned innocence catches me off guard. It is a reminder of the time I had found him handsome and kind. That had been before my father had practically sold me to him.

And sealed his own fate.

"You know what I mean. You called them my precious family. They aren't. _Weren't_. Not since my mother died. I'm sure they would have given me to you even if you hadn't coerced them. I was always just a pawn in the game of power and fortune. My father and uncle were as corrupt as you are and would have used you as you did them given the chance. The only difference is you beat them to checkmate… and you used me to do it."

I look down at my own feet as I speak. I still shudder at the thought of that night. What he had made me do. Part of me had wanted to do it, to help end them. But the more humane part of my soul wishes I could take it back a thousand times over.

"Yes. And you did such a marvelous job. I still need to thank you for that." He smiles and reaches out for me. I lean back over the desk. I should run but I can't move. Whether I'm paralyzed by fear or magic, I know not. I only can watch in terror as he slowly closes the short gap between us, his eyes communicating to me the darker message behind his words.

"I want you back," he whispers. "I _need_ you back."

"No." My reply is barely audible, but firm, "You don't."

The desk's surface shakes under my hands as I support myself.

I'm always trembling. Always afraid of what he might do if provoked. Even now I know I am walking a fine line. Daroth, of course, notices and shakes his head.

"You have to make things so hard for me don't you? You always put up such a fight back in the palace. If you only you were more obedient. If only you would just _give in_ to your emotions. We would already be wed and I wouldn't have to haunt your dreams." He now stands before me and leans over me, literally inches away. I can feel his body heat now.

"You haunt my reality." I whisper.

"I do?" My breath hitches as he presses himself against me and holds me with one strong arm. I lose what balance I have and end up clinging to his shoulders. I should run. I should scream. But I can't. I'm paralyzed in his gaze.

"Good" His other hand trails down my side and slips under my shirt. My eyes widen in fear.

His lips lower until his next words scrape against my own.

"Now, then. Lets have some fun here shall we?"

.

I wake up screaming.

"Mina what happened?" Rhys shakes me.

I startle awake, eyes wide and face flushed. I pull from his arms, not wanting to be touched. My hands rub my upper arms.

"I-I'm fine. Just a nightmare" With sudden shock I notice my face is completely wet with tears.

I dry my eyes with a back of a still trembling hand.

"You were yelling" he continues, his face twisted in worry. "I couldn't tell exactly what you were saying but you were shrieking and thrashing. You kept yelling 'stop' 'stop' "

"It was just a nightmare. I'm fine. I'm fine," I say more to myself than to him. My eyes can't focus on any one thing. I keep feeling Daroth's hands on my skin, his lips on me.

 _It had been so real_.

Rhys touches my shoulder gently. My eyes snap to him and then behind him to the other soldiers as they catch my attention. Some have heard the commotion and sit up from their bedrolls looking toward us. Others simply roll over and ignore it. Only the captain in his tent hasn't stirred at all.

"What in the devil is that noise?" One says groggily.

"Its Farrowslake's new girl. I knew it was bad to have a girl at camp"

Other men ask questions or curse over being woken in such a manner.

Ren comes over to my bedroll and squats next to Rhys, both their shadows washing over me. "I was on duty when I heard the screaming. You sounded like you were being attacked. I thought maybe we had wolves in the camp for a heartbeat. Luckily, Rhys got here before I did. I just checked the perimeter in case. Nothing there."

It's too much. I can't breathe with them over me like this.

"I need a moment" I stand. Rhys follows me as I walk away from the camp and watches as I lean against a tree, trying to catch my breath.

 _Why can't he leave me alone?_

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rhys asks softly, his hand on the trunk.

It was only a dream.

Daroth still doesn't know where I am.

But he knows how to reach me in this way. How to torment me.

I feel Rhys place his hand on my arm and flinch. I still do not want to be touched.

"What happened?" he prods again.

"Just a dream" I say, wiping my nose on the back of my sleeve.

I feel I owe him at least some expectation so I say, "A nightmare. About the man I was betrothed to."

Rhys pulls a face.

"Was he that bad?"

I let out a heartless laugh. "Worse.

"Did he...?"

"It doesn't matter. The dream is over."

"As an apothecary" he says, "cant you make yourself a sleeping draft or something?" It's actually a brilliant idea, but then the problem lays in the fact that I am not a true apothecary. It is something I can look into though, once I reach the capitol.

"I'm afraid I don't know how. I'm not very good at what I do," I say through gritted teeth.

"Well," he says calmly, "I'm sure we will figure out something."

I sigh deeply and turn on Rhys. "Look. I know you are trying to help but you can't. This is not a 'we' problem this is a 'me' problem. So, please, just stay out of it" I make to go back to my bedroll but he blocks my path with his arm. My eyes meet his in defiance but I find myself surprised to see the equal emotion in his.

His voice is firm as he speaks. "It may be your problem, whatever it is, but you don't have to face it alone, Mina. Blocking anyone and everyone who might want to help from your life wont help the situation, whatever it is."

I glower and knock his hand aside.

I head back to my bedroll, Rhys hot on my heels.

I sit back down on the blanket but do not lie down. Sleep will not be visiting me anymore this night. I don't think Daroth will visit my dreams again tonight but I'm not foolish enough to let him try. I rub my face with my hands.

The crinkling of grass underneath the bedroll lets me know that Rhys has sat down beside me.

 _Really?_

"I thought I asked you to stay out of it," I growl.

He just sits there, using a nearby stick to poke at the embers of the evening's fire, which are now covered in ash, stoking them. The bit of heat left in the burnt wood warms my face as he does so, even from a few feet away.

I want to say something. Anything.

The silence is nearly choking me.

Words bubble up my throat and I let them come.

"I was almost married to him," I blurt out before I can stop. It takes all I have in me not to put my hand over my mouth after they come. My hands curl in my lap and my nails dig into my palms. _Stupid stupid girl!_ Rhys looks at me calculatingly.

"How long ago?" He asks

I shake off the fear building in my heart. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. That's…interesting..." he struggles with the words.

I look up at the cloudless night sky and into the brightness of the moon. "I don't love him"

Rhys's hand finds mine and he places it over my own. I let it stay. "It sounded like it. So he's still alive."

It isn't a question.

"Very."

"He must not deserve you."

I scowl at nothing. He has no idea what I do or do not deserve, but the fact that he wants to defend my honor is nice. Albeit irritating. I turn to him, needing to distract him from this uncovered truth.

Anger and embarrassment color my words.

"What of you, Rhys? What secrets do you have to tell? If I am to divulge my life story then I suggest you start doing the same. Start with the most intimate details. Those are the hardest to share yet everyone wants to hear about them." I snap.

He huffs. "Point taken." There's an uncomfortable silence between us for a few moments before he speaks. I stare into the darkness beyond the fire as his words find me.

"You want to know about me. Fine. I'm an orphan who raised in the mage's guild in the Capitol of Gallen. My life has been full of rules and regulations. My childhood consisted of being an errand boy. I resented the teaching mages for a long while but now I understand why they raised me so. I have a greater sense of responsibility and hard work from the experience." Turning to glance at his face, I see his eyes focused on a far off memory. He is wholly absorbed in his thoughts. "While they wanted me to hone what skills I had to be used at the guild, I wanted more. That's when I applied for the Kings army. If Im going to obey Im going to choose my master. I now am second in command of the Kings Personal Guard, but to them I am a disappointment. So I do things now specifically to piss them off even more. I drink, party, and lay with women. I'm not a cad but I don't have the strongest morals for someone raised in the guild. They cringe at my actions."

He shakes his head sadly and then laughs it off.

It is a forced laugh.

"There. Does that satisfy you? Beg my pardon for prying into your past. You are right. I have no right. I only want to know how I might help."

"I don't know how you could." comes the softer reply from my lips. _Well you could kill Daroth for me,_ I think pensively.

Rhys stands, turning to go.

"Well if you think of a way, let me know. We all have our demons, Mina. Yours might be bigger than mine. I don't know. But when you are ready to face them, don't do it alone. You are never alone."

I nod, somewhat touched at his words.

"Rhys?" He looks back at me.

"Thank you"

I give him a small smile.

He lights up "Ah, there it is. The infamous smile. I wondered when I would see one." While his words are almost cheerful he cant mask the exhaustion. I feel that his exhaustion is not just from lack of sleep. He bows. "You're welcome Mina"

I watch him make his way back to his bedroll before pulling my knees closer to my chest and staring at the dying embers.

I know I can't face Daroth alone.

Truth be told I don't want to face him at all, but I know one day I will have to.

I will never admit it to him, but I am glad that Rhys cares.

It means someone does.

And for what its worth, just as his words have conveyed, I start to feel no longer completely alone in my worries.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Two Years Before_**

"Princess!" Mara shrieked, her hand cupping her mouth. "You didn't!"

I laughed merrily. "We did"

I lay on my side on my bed, facing my lady in waiting who sat in front me. I had been recounting my last secret meeting with Daroth from that afternoon in which I had snuck into his rooms before my tutoring session and spent an hour with my young Advisor-friend.

And what an hour it had been.

Mara still looked at me with such astonishment, her warm brown eyes so wide they almost seemed to pop. It only caused me to laugh harder.

"Mara, please. You act as if I _gave myself_ to him! We only kissed. Passionately. On his bed." I couldn't stop the huge grin that covered my face no matter how hard I had tried. It had been hell with my tutor keeping a straight face. And Tutor Deran's sessions usually left me in a bad mood.

She shook her head. "Its just shocking to hear that's all. You always rant and rave about how all the other courtiers flaunt about rutting with one another and here you tell me that you've been romancing one of your Uncle's advisors! It seems almost…" she waved her arms in the air.

"Hypocritical?" I finish, turning to lie on my back. The blue fabric of my canopied bed swayed in the breeze from an open window. "I know but this is different. I'm not making it a sport. I actually have _feelings_ for him, Mara. And he has them for me."

"Just be careful" she chides, her cheeks returning from the bright red of moments before.

"Oh don't tell me you don't find Advisor Daroth a handsome and attractive man"

Mara smirked. "I didn't say that."

I felt reckless. Bold. Alive.

"I have to admit though. Had he wanted to make love I probably _would_ have given myself to him. I don't know what it is but he's so…different. Caring and genuine. He has dreams, Mara. He plans to make a difference like I want to. I imagine what it would be like for me to be Queen and him to be King."

"You always have had a big imagination" she rolls her eyes as she plays with a strand of her blonde hair.

Suddenly the door to my chambers opens and a soldier steps in. I sit up at the same time Mara jumps at the noise.

"The High Prince Karthon requests your presence, Princess Namina"

I huffed.

Mara gaped. "Do you think-?"

I cut her off before she could say anything else.

"I asked to see him earlier but he was occupied. This is his way of saying he can see me now. By making it an order." I shot her a look. A silent plea to keep her mouth shut about Daroth. She nodded.

"Tell High Prince Karthon I will be there momentarily" I said, dismissing the guard and climbing off my bed to make myself presentable.

After fixing the mess I had made of my long brown hair and straightening my dress I made my way to my father's office. He hated tardiness.

Between the brothers of King Signor and High Prince Karthon, Irisidea was ruled by a firm and frightening hand.

As was I.

I had learned the hard way never to disobey Karthon. He didn't let anything pass.

While he was my father by blood, I saw him as a tyrant.

I had been quite the rebellious thirteen year old after mother had died. To him, my mother had been merely a peace bargain made with Parth and I was the unfortunate offspring. Now that King Signor had been able to have no children, legitimate or otherwise, and much preferred the company of men anyway, I was to be Queen when he and my father passed. Suddenly after my mother's death, Father began paying more attention to me.

I became important and he liked being able to control important things.

I hated being controlled.

After several instances of blatant disrespect and disobeying his orders, he had threatened me with a flogging.

He followed through.

I don't even remember what I had done, just that I did it again out of spite.

I had pleaded, I had begged. Nothing worked. He just kept his gaze hard, like I was an unruly servant he had wanted to set right.

"You will learn, Namina, that even if you will one day be queen you still will obey my orders." He had said.

Following the lashing, he had a healer take care of my back. He didn't want to leave any permanent damage.

After that day I never stepped out of line and obeyed his orders when near him but I would find little ways to rebel or make my own decisions. Nothing big enough to get whipped again.

I knew now that not even being a princess would save you from corporal punishment if the King or the Prince deemed it necessary.

As I said, a lesson learned.

He would yell and rage at me and occasionally slap me for back talking but he hadn't whipped me since then. While he was somewhat violent, he was not out rightly cruel.

Not until provoked.

I knew I had not had the best life but I had been fortunate in many, many ways. I was treated with respect and had nearly everything I wanted. As long as I played my part as Princess, I was left alone. My family may have lacked the love it once had but I had found other ways to cope. Visiting Mother's grave for example. Or the royal menagerie to visit the animals my mother had loved.

My father was merely my superior. And my Uncle? Well he was my King. As far as I knew, I barely existed in his eyes. Just his brother's offspring and the result of a political marriage alliance to Parth.

The time had come for the annual Irisidean Festival of Lights and I had hoped to gain permission to go. As I stood in front of Prince Karthon's office doors, my hands began to shake.

That happened every now and then. Try as I might to feign otherwise, the man still terrified me some.

Hopefully nothing had angered my father today. I needed him to say yes. Just this once.

"What is it that you want, child?" Karthon said flatly, not bothering to look up from the paper he held. Something on military strategy from the looks of the diagrams. "I'm a very busy man. Advisor Ernan has passed away, Invasions need to be planned, and I have a million other things to do that don't involve my daughter wasting my time."

"Ernan died?"

Karthon looked up. "Did I stutter, girl? Yes he has passed on to the realms of the gods. Went to visit his estate in the south and apparently caught the Red Plague. Now tell me what you need and then leave."

Typical of my father to make light of such a tragedy. For him it was nearly a setback, not the loss of life. There would be voting and planning to elect a new Advisor from Lord Ernan's territory and it would be nearly a year before it was finalized. I cleared my throat and perched myself at the edge of a seat facing his desk.

"My Lord, if I may request it, I would like to attend the Festival of Lights in a week's time. I have been staying on top of all my studies. You may even think of it as a late birthday present if you wish. I realize you have been busy but I recently turned eighteen this past spring." I laced my hands together in front of me.

He looked up, almost bemused.

"And why would a future queen, no matter her age, want to lower herself to the level of common folk? No, I should think you would want to stay in the palace grounds where you belong"

I gripped the sides of my skirt.

I had planned for this.

Cautiously and a little shakily I said, "I feel it would be a good way to show the people that their rulers are always among them even if we do live apart. A symbol of goodwill if you may. I don't have to talk to anyone, just make an appearance. None of the royal family has been in several years. Not since I went with mother and-"

He shot me a look. Bringing up my dead mother was a touchy subject.

I wasn't even sure he had ever loved her.

I tried a different approach "If I may have an escort would that please you enough to allow me to go, my lord?"

He sat the papers down and tapped them with a finger and met my eyes.

A few dead-silent seconds passed as we stared down one another. Finally, my father spoke, smirking a little. "I appreciate you thinking like a true politician and trying to persuade me, even if your argument is weak. For that alone I will be content to allow you to go to Renor for one evening. We will have Tutor Deran and a few guards take you."

I frowned.

Oh. I hated my tutor. He was a skinny sniveling fellow whose loyalties lied deep with King Signor and High Prince Karthon. He ratted on me with every misgiving I ever made. Even the accidental ones.

He was a thorn in my side.

"I would hate to bother my tutor on his day off. Perhaps Advisor Daroth? I know the council is in session but things have been slow and I've seen him wondering about in the evenings. He seems responsible."

My father scoffed. "Send an advisor to babysit you? Gods forbid it. No. You will be accompanied by Tutor Deran. Do I make myself clear girl?" His gaze turned into a warning.

I stood and curtsied, hiding the agitation in my voice. "Yes, my Lord. If it pleases you. Thank you for this opportunity"

There was no use fighting him.

When the time for the festival arrived, I went with Tutor Deran.

Fortunately for me, Daroth had attended the festival on his own. He found me and joined my tutor and guards, making polite conversation and ignoring me completely. Well, aside from a few glances. His sapphire eyes spoke more than words ever could. Having him by my side at the festival was wonderful, even if it seemed we would never get a moment alone.

When I heard the men mention the Advisor's Council I added my condolences to Daroth. He nodded and thanked me politely, but his fingers brushed my hand. Tutor Deran shot me a warning look. _Ugh._

When the sky turned deep blue and it came time for the lighting of the lanterns, we gathered in with the crowd of townsfolk. Tutor Deran tried to hold me back but I insisted to join the throng.

"I'll accompany the princess, Deran. It is no inconvenience"

"I suppose if you are with her. Just don't cause any trouble, Princess. I know you." Tutor Deran said in his nasally voice, his eyes narrowed. I nearly bore my teeth at the man.

Daroth lead me toward the front of the crowd.

"How are your magic studies?" he asked.

"Good I suppose. Tutor Deran doesn't work with me as much with actual healing but he says I'm stronger than the average mage. Mostly, I practice on palace guards after bouts and training. Mere scratches and bruises mostly but some deeper wounds. Hardly effects me at all to heal them."

He considered "Maybe I might ask a boon of your uncle and take some time to train you in some practices? I'm no healer but as a soul mage I know a few tricks that you might be able to perform."

The idea sounded perfect. "That would be superb."

When we reached the center of the lighting, I couldn't help but stare at the large paper lanterns of all shapes and colors being lit. Each lantern was a family's prayer to the gods of their choice. Some for good fortune, others for love. Most were painstakingly handcrafted and beautiful. Townsfolk young and old held them in their hands, their faces lit from beneath by the glow. The rest of the crowd became a mix of pale light and deep shadows as most of the city lights were extinguished.

I felt Daroth's hand find mine and squeeze gently.

My heart pattered in my chest.

We couldn't help but cheer along with the crowd when those with lanterns let them go and the sky lit up. It mesmerized me to watch them float higher and higher until they blended in with the constellations above us.

"I'm glad you came, Daroth" I whispered and leaned into him. We were far enough away that Deran or the guards would not take notice.

"I as well, Princess."

"May I come visit you tonight?" Daroth asked me as we watched the lanterns float away. He caressed my cheek.

Was this to be it? Would we consummate our love and be forever with each other? My heart screamed to accept but the logical side of me knew it would be a bad idea.

"I would say yes, but I feel it might be too much too soon"

His hand dropped.

"Not that I don't want you to, just that it might raise suspicion. Maybe in a few months?"

Daroth smiled and placed an arm around my waist.

He kissed my hair.

"As you wish, Namina"

That was the last time I had ever been into the actual city of Renor.


	10. Chapter 10

The morning after my nightmare, I wake from a light doze to the sound of the camp being picked up. Groggily, I make to roll up my bedroll. Rhys finds me soon enough.

"Ah there you are," he says as he brings his horse towards me. It is a large black creature with black as night eyes. Rhys pats the horse's mane and beckons me to do the same.

I step back.

"You aren't afraid of horses are you?" he asks in shock.

I look away, embarrassed. "Afraid, no. Nervous around large animals, very much so."

Rhys barks a laugh before grabbing the reins and bringing the horse towards me. I hold my ground and stared wide-eyed at the beast.

"Go on. Pet him. He loves it. He won't bite."

I timidly reach out a hand and touch the place between his forehead and his nose. Okay. So not that bad.

"This is Nightshade. Like the plant."

I look at Rhys, confused. "The plant?"

"Ah" he nods as if he has just connected something by my reaction. He runs his free hand through his hair.

"Are you even an apothecary?" he asks. It's a simple question he wants an answer to. I know that, but I'm silent as I watch one of my lies I've built crumble down around me. He stares at me, waiting.

I oblige the truth "No, I'm not. But I am a healer mage." I raise a hand and let my power flare slightly, tingeing the air around my fingers a cool blue. "And I've always wanted to learn the way of medicine. I'll still heal your men, Rhys. I promised that much…But there is no guild"

"So when we get to the capitol…"

I trace the feathers on my cape, waiting for him to ask, but he doesn't. I answer the unasked question anyway, not meeting his eyes.

"I'll run off. Who knows? Maybe I will find work there. But nothing is for sure."

"I'll help you get a job," he offers suddenly. I sigh deeply.

"You don't have to do-"

"No. I will! I'm sure there's a healer position opened at the palace anyway. There was when we left three weeks ago. Those types of jobs take time to fill. I'll put in a good word for you."

I smile ruefully at the thought of the last Irisidean heir working for the Galen King. It would an interesting turn of events, and dangerous as well. Were I to be found out, I would be taken as a prisoner of war or worse, killed. The war may be on standstill but if Galen were anything like Irisidea, something so brash would be seen as a reason to reignite the fight. On the other hand, there would be nowhere safer from Daroth than with my mortal enemies.

"I'd like that." I say. I won't stay forever but it will keep me out of Daroth's reach for a time.

Rhys is quiet for another moment, still holding on to Nightshade's reins, before he says, "So as a healer mage, what _can_ you do?" _Inflict pain and end lives,_ I think before banishing the awful memories.

"Heal minor injuries and sicknesses. With larger afflictions like plagues and terminal wounds, I can only help ease the suffering or take part of the sickness away. My magic isn't strong enough to heal those on my own. I also have a small amount of power over emotions and can influence the soul as well, my own bit of soul magic I suppose, but I try to stay away from using that part as much." That had been the part Daroth was so fond of. The part he liked to manipulate and make me use against my will.

"How does it work for you?"

"Well, for me personally, when I take a sickness from the body it wears on my own. I don't inherit the sickness but rather it takes a part of my energy. I've knocked myself unconscious trying to heal before. Many a times. Changing or influencing the soul's emotions, however, has no affect on me. So if I were to tamper with your feelings right now, I might actually be strengthened instead of depleted."

"Try it" he holds out his hand.

I cower back, frowning. I'm done messing with that part of my magic.

"No. I wont." I say sharply.

He drops his hand. His faint smile drops to a frown.

"I'm sorry. I was just curious."

I recover and nod. He continues tentatively "If I may ask…was your betrothed a…"

I take a deep breath. "Yes. He has magic. But it matters little."

He takes note that I don't want to say much more and drops the subject.

Good.

He is learning.

"We should reach the town of Blue Court by the weeks end. How does a night on a real bed sound?" _Like a dream!_ I tell him as much. Going from the lap of luxury to sleeping on the ground has caused me to become quite sore.

He laughs "Good. Now shall I help you on to the horse?"

.

After the first two days of traveling, I stop fearing Nightshade and come to appreciate the docile animal. He's strong and carries both Rhys's and my weight with ease.

It had been my first time riding when Nightshade broke into a canter. I nearly screamed. My experience with horses has been only from within a carriage or watching other nobles race across the open fields behind the gardens.

Riding on a horse with a man has also been a shocking and highly embarrassing experience for me at first, as I have had to sit with my arms around his middle. The only man I have been this close to is Daroth.

"You aren't my corset, Mina" Rhys huffs that first afternoon. I feel my cheeks burn.

"Sorry. I'm sorry." I release the death grip I hold and settle for gripping the fabric of his uniform instead of locking my arms as tight as possible.

Soon enough, however, everything works out and we find our own stride. We become comfortable with the closeness of the journey and I find myself searching Rhys out instead of avoiding him. He becomes like a protector of sorts in my mind.

A few more days pass uneventfully.

I watch our surroundings change from dense forests with small villages to farmland and larger cities with just small spurts of woodland intermingled here and there. Our camp transforms from bedrolls on the hard ground to beds in small inns on the outskirts of whatever village or city we come across.

One of the many benefits of being a Kings Guard is that they really don't have to pay for anything. The host or hostess of said inn usually welcomes them as honored guests and even when they don't, the risk of being commandeered makes the innkeepers cooperative. Even I have the privilege of sleeping in my own room. While compared to my feather bed back in Irisidea's palace they are bleak, the beds of the inn are marvelously comfortable when rivaled against sleeping on the hard ground.

I soon find I haven't had another dream since the first and with every passing evening my anxiety of Daroth returning to haunt my sleep dissipates a little more. The first night after the dream I had dreaded falling asleep and had clutched the knife Rhys had given me against myself. I continued to sleep with it. It of course would have offered little protection from my dreams, but the idea of being able to defend myself was comforting.

While happiness still comes in spurts for me, my mood, according to Rhys, is downright jovial when compared to before.

"You almost seem to like us now." he jokes when we stop to water the horses one afternoon. We are nearing the end of our journey.

I smile sardonically. "Yes. It would seem so."

Rhys seems to be deep in thought "Though, it has me worried..." I raise an eyebrow as he continues "What if the reason you're so positive isn't because you find our company to your liking, but because you know our journeying is almost at an end. Either that or you're planning our demise and that brings you satisfaction."

I harrumph. "Funny, Farrowslake. You're hilarious."

He isn't done "Ren!" he calls over to his friend who stands across the way "I'm starting to wonder if our lady-friend here isn't a danger to us all. She did try to steal from us and she now holds a knife in her possession. What do you suggest?"

" _You_ gave me the knife" I defend.

Ren comes over and studies us all seriously. His eyes sparkle with playfulness despite his demeanor. He wipes the perspiration off his dark brow and looks at me with a straight face and says, "The only danger we have is our friend Rhys making a fool of himself. He's quite good at that, unfortunately."

Laughter bubbles in my chest. I cough to hide it. "Yes. He is isn't he?"

Rhys pretends to look affronted.

"Never mind you lot. I have better things to do than take a hit to my self-esteem."

"Well I have more important things to do than assist Rhys here in his attempts to flatter you." Ren salutes and saunters off, pleased with the jab.

"I should ask Captain Gerron to demote him. He thinks he's such a wise-ass. Whatever." He gestures in the air and one of Ren's boots catches on fire. A very small fire, but still.

"Farrowslake, I'll kill you! That's my second pair of boots you've ruined!" we hear followed by the laughter of other men. Rhys and I laugh. I snort. He laughs harder.

My eyes fall on the men. Some of them rest, prostrate on the ground, others relax against trees or merely stand around talking to one another. Captian Garron talks with a soldier I don't know as they sit on a fallen log. He notices me looking and nods before returning to his conversation. The mood is calm. No coughing as well.

"They seem to be holding up after the healing." I say to Rhys and Thomas Goldbern, one of the soldiers, as he joins us. Thomas is a short stocky blonde with quite the temper, but he can be sweet. I have seen him punch a soldier in the mouth out of anger and then laugh with him in the same hour. He flashes a dirty look towards Rhys at the prank he has just pulled on Ren but then replies to me.

"Yes, we feel loads better. You've quite the gift there, Missus Mina. An apothecary and a healer!"

I smiled as my insides turn. Thomas still thinks I'm part of a guild. They all do. Except Rhys.

"Well, boys, I think its time to move on. Almost home!" Captain Gerron calls. It is met with mixed enthusiasm. We are still a few days out, truth be told.

Thomas sighs. "I can hardly wait. It's been over a month since I've had Marta's cookin." Marta is his wife, I would learn later. He walks off to prepare to leave.

I watch as some of the other men brush down their horses and help Rhys with our own.

"About the healing position" He hesitates, suddenly absorbed in a small stain on his tunic. "If you want to wait a while in the city, I can make a plea to hire you. It shouldn't take too long and I'd love for you to stay once we arrive. You seem a good friend and the palace could use a sensible healer such as yourself."

I nod, suddenly at a loss for words and finish brushing the horse before sticking the brush in the saddlebag. Where we friends? It has only been a little over half a fortnight. The gesture is still overwhelming though.

 _Friends..._

"Mina?"

I startle, realizing I'm staring at Rhys. "Sorry. I got lost in thought"

He smiles and shakes his head. "You're a puzzle, Mina. One day I'm going to solve you."

The words are so innocent, but they bring back feelings of Daroth saying much the same thing. Only his words had held maliciousness not merriment.

"Well, up we go." Rhys helps me onto our horse and then climbs on in front of me. I wrap my arms lightly around his waist, his warmth now familiar to me.

"Thank you. For everything" I mumble. I find I'm content here with these men, but my soul still aches _._ It is near impossible to forget the past. Everything is still fresh.

 _In time,_ I tell myself _._ _I will heal fully in time._

Rhys's words are soft as he replies and I feel them vibrate through in his chest and against my own.

"It's been my honor, Mina"


	11. Chapter 11

On the last morning of our journey, Rhys gives me a description of the Gallen capitol and tells me we will reach it by noon.

From what he tells me, this is what I gather:

While Irisidea's capitol is named Renor, Gallen's has no name. It is simply known as the Capitol. The palace, in which the royal family lives and from where the monarchy rules, is surrounded by the capitol with little room to spare. There are some training yards and a small field for horseback riding but other than that, it is incased in pure city. My own palace is about half a mile away from the town and our grounds are more extensive. I wonder what this would have been like, having the city and the people of Irisidea so close.

We reach the Capitol by noon, just as Rhys had said we would.

The castle itself is a large, grand structure at least two hundred feet high of tan stone, and made up of mostly cylindrical towers topped with blue slate. The Gallen flag flies from several of the towers.

"Wow." I mutter under my breath.

This is _completely_ different from Irisidea.

The Irisidean palace is made up of pale grey marble with lots of archways and octagonal shapes. Tall and large colored windows lace the outside of the complex and several large balconies offer space to socialize and conduct royal business. This castle, while just as grand in size, only has a few small balconies and their windows are not grand like ours. I don't know what I was exactly expecting but this isn't it.

It is beautiful in its own right nevertheless.

As we ride through the streets towards the castle, I can't help but marvel at the blue slate roofs of the buildings. Blue slate is rare, only found in Gallen, and I had expected it on the castle. But I have never seen so much of it at once, let alone as roofing material for a city. It brightens up the castle town nicely. While Irisidea was more hue of grey and pastel, Gallen is bright and bold.

The overall feeling of the Capitol is relaxed as we wind our way through neighborhoods and markets. Children laugh and play on the streets while vendors call out prices and barter their wares. I notice a tailor flaunting the latest Galen fashions and a smith sharpening a freshly made blade. It glints in the sunlight.

Some of the alleys look dank with sodden looking beggars milling about, asking for pocket change from passersby.

My heart goes out to them and I wonder for a moment how much of this is in Renor as well.

"What do you think?" Rhys asks from in front of me.

"Its very grand" I say. In truth I don't think it is much larger than Renor, but I have never been able to see much of it. Most of my life has been confined to the court.

"You are quiet back there," Rhys says after a few minutes, pulling me back to the present.

"Just enjoying the view" I sigh.

We continue through several market squares until we come to a large gate. Ren sends a signal of some sort to the guards posted above and it is opened for us with a loud creaking.

Crossing into the castle complex itself, I am amazed by how busy it is. People walk about in all directions and from all different vocations. Courtiers and common folk mingle. I marvel at it all. So casual and normal, unlike the strict order of the Irisidean palace.

We ride towards the stables and unbridle the horses.

Well, I stand to the side while the men do the work.

Rhys speaks to me while brushing down Nightshade. "You are welcome to go back into town and have a look around. I am going to go make a formal report of our journey and then I will make the case for your employment. Shall I find you in two hours?"

"Where?"

"Wherever. I can find you easily enough. Just wear your owl cloak," He gestures to the cloak over my arm. I had taken it off a few hours ago when the sun had gotten too high and I could feel the sweat dripping down my back. While it is great protection, both magically and from the cold, it does little against the heat. "Does that sound alright?"

The thought of being alone in such a large city is frankly… terrifying.

I swallow and croak out "That would be great" before I can reconsider. I _need_ this job. It is probably the best thing for me right now. I will keep busy and I will be right under the nose of the Galen crown.

The perfect place to start a new life.

Yes.

Rhys seems to notice my nervousness.

He pats my shoulder and smiles sweetly "Don't worry. Right outside the gate is a large market. Go look around" he presses a few coins into my hand. "Have some fun"

I blanch.

"I can't take this!" I try pressing the coins back into his hand. Rhys doesn't take them and merely pushes my hand away.

"Yes you can. That's enough for lunch and a change of clothes. You must not have much with you. Pay me back later." I try once more and he gives me a warning look.

 _Fine._

I hold the coins to my heart and say, "Thank you. It means a lot."

He turns to go. I stop him with a hand on his arm. Something has been on my mind of late and I desperately want the answer. I need to know. "Rhys?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you so interested in me? Ever since we've met you've been trying to help me. It's nice and all but…" I trail off.

"I don't know exactly." He says, searching my eyes. "You just seem to remind me of a woman who needed help and never received it. At a much too early age, she was left a widow with two young boys. She stole and scavenged the best she could but she couldn't feed both children and herself, so she let herself suffer for them. Eventually she died. As I've said I don't know all that you are going through, especially considering you don't seem to want to tell anyone, and I won't pressure you, but I don't want to leave you to anything near the same fate. I'm sorry if I seem overbearing but that is just the way it is. Tell me to leave you alone if you would like. Now that I've gotten you here to the capitol I will concede."

We are silent for a moment.

I don't know how to respond.

So I ignore his offer.

"Who was she?" I ask quietly.

"My mother"

I breathe out slowly. Rhys had said he was an orphan but he had never said he knew his mother.

"And then you ended up in the guild." I say.

His eyes hold an emotion I can't decipher. "Yes, when I was six. Me and my brother."

I want to ask about his brother but he bids me farewell and turns to go.

"Two hours. Right?" I call.

He looks back and smiles, although it doesn't reach his eyes, before nodding.

We part ways.

There is so much I don't know about Rhys.

While I almost want to leave him and go off on my own it is also a comfort having him there. A strange protector. He had pushed his way into my life so suddenly and demanded me to trust him. He had called me a friend. _A friend._

I hug myself, thinking of how long it has been since I have had an honest-to-the-gods friend besides Mara.

Was I really ready to push him away so soon?

No. No, I wasn't.

When I make it to the market Rhys had mentioned I am overwhelmed. I have been always given what I need and even the things I want have been handed to me for the most part. In short, I have always been a princess. Shopping and bartering are two things I have little knowledge about and this market is huge. There are shops on all sides of the square, all with different signs announcing their trade and all facing a large fountain in the middle. Children and shoppers pass me right and left. I hesitate and end up walking around the area for about thirty minutes before working up the courage to enter one of the shops.

 _You can do this, Namina. It's a simple exchange of money for goods._

 _Oh, Gods, I can't do this._

 _No, I can. Just take a deep breath._

My hand traces the long scar across the palm of my right hand out of anxiety.

 _Just go, stupid girl._

Before letting myself be talked out of it, I walk swiftly to the door of the tailor and into the shop.

A robust but short woman stands beside a counter, organizing fabrics by color. I bite my lip, not sure what to say.

"Can I help ya miss?" She says in a booming voice, too big for her.

"Um, I'd like a dress."

"Style? Color? Pattern? Fabric? I need specifics dear or I can't be goin' and makin' you a dress." My cheeks burn.

"I've never bought one for myself before. Can you choose for me? Or do you have anything ready made?" I gesture at my filthy tunic and pants, "I'm hoping to get a job at the palace and I don't think this would do."

She tsks at me and gestures me forward.

"Come here child."

I obey. She pulls out a measuring tape and wraps it around my waist and other various parts of my body. This I have had done before. Usually, however, I never ask for anything specific. Clothes were simply just made for me and I chose from them.

She looks up at me after measuring the length of my legs. "You are one lucky woman. I think I may have a dress finished that would fit ya. It was made for another but they decided they wanted it in a different color. Is grey alright, dear?"

I sigh in relief. "Color doesn't matter to me. That sounds lovely, thank you." The woman disappears into the back of the shop for several minutes. I bite my lip, waiting. Should I call her back or do I just stand here until she returns?

Eventually she returns, a light grey dress in her arms.

"This should do nicely." She holds up the dress to my front. "Oh, and it brings out those beautiful Parth eyes of yours. I'm guessin' you are Parth?"

I nod. "On my mother's side."

I purchase the simple cotton grey frock with long sleeves and a high neckline.

The woman leads me behind a curtain and lets me change. The dress fits perfectly although a bit loose in the waist. I don't mind. I will find a belt or sash eventually. I comb my hair with my fingers, trying to somewhat tame the shoulder length locks.

I step out, my cloak over one arm and my old clothes on the other.

"Would you like to see what you look like?" the woman inquires.

"I suppose..." she gestures to a mirror across the room.

It takes me a moment to catch my breath.

I look so…normal. And tired.

Gone are the long hair, the jewels, the makeup, and the fancy dresses. All that is left is a sad looking girl with dark circles around her eyes. Even her pose is slightly slouched and sad looking. But those eyes reflect more life in them than they have had in weeks.

They reflect hope.

"Now we can get rid of these awful garments," she says with her nose wrinkled, taking the filthy tunic and pants from me. Needless to say, I'm not sad to see them go. I _had_ _really_ started to smell in the outfit, even with a few baths along the journey.

Wearing the new gown I feel more like a Gallen common woman. I'm definitely more covered than I have been used to, but I will choose any day to deal with the heat than be looked at suspiciously as a foreigner.

"Thank you, Miss…"

"You may call me Miss Bernae. I'm the best seamstress in town. Let everyone ya come across know."

I smile "I will."

After leaving the tailor, I walk around the square again for a while. The afternoon has cooled down so I slip my feather cloak back over my shoulders.

I still have a few coins left so decide to grab a bite to eat while I wait for Rhys to return, but I don't know what I want or where to get it.

"Can I help you, miss?" a voice to my side interrupts my thoughts. I turn to see a man, maybe early fifties, with close-cropped red hair starting to go grey. He has a splattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and laugh lines. He smiles softly.

"Um, yes, I think. I mean…what I mean is… Can you show me where to buy lunch?" Stuttering fool I'm turning into.

He laughs.

"That really depends on what you want. If you are looking for an actual meal there's a place a few streets over that makes a mean stew. If you are in search of more of a light bite there's a bakery right across the road there. They have nice rolls for a cheap price" He points towards a small shop with bread painted on the window.

"Thank you, Sir…"

He laughs. "Not Sir, I'm afraid. Just Anders Farrowsbrook. Call me Anders. I'm an Arch-mage in the Galen Mage Guild." He sweeps a bow with a flourish and I see the purple cloak on his back. How did I miss that?

He continues, "If you ever require assistance from the Guild you can reach me there."

"How do you know I'm a mage?" I ask. I'm more than a little disconcerted.

"You have the feeling of one. A cool blue kind of magic, am I right? My guess would be healer or elementals. I can sense that kind of thing."

"You're a spirit mage!" I say, pleasantly surprised. He nods and holds out his hand. I shake it.

There are five main types of mages: healer mages, elemental mages, spirit mages, summon mages, and soul mages. There are other gifts too but they are either too rare to categorize or not important enough. While some mages have powers from more than one type, most are relatively limited in their abilities.

Except soul mages.

Soul mages can do it all, as their powers are connected to the very soul. It is believed that the soul is the source of all magic. If one can tap into it, the powers can be endless. Soul mages are always watched if known about, because even though they are rare, they seem to turn evil more often than not. If they grow to powerful or go dark, they are known as Soul Sorcerers.

Daroth had been a Soul Mage.

He is a Soul Sorcerer now, thanks to me.

I know as a spirit mage, Anders can sense gifts on others. Those with magical gifts can train either on their own or in a guild with a guide. He must be strong to be an Arch-mage, one of a handful of powerful mages who run each country's guild. That means he can also sense the intentions of a person as well.

"I never did catch your name." Anders says.

"It's Mina" I reply. "I'm actually a healer mage hoping to get a job at the palace."

"Well Mina I wish you luck with that endeavor. There is something else in your magic. A darkness. I feel you've been troubled by much and have had a struggling past. Your future wont be the easiest and there are many roads to choose from, but you will find the right road I am sure." The pleasantness of his gift begins to wear off at the remark.

I don't need reminding of my "struggling past.

"Yes, thank you." I say and force a smile. Anders pats me on the shoulder.

I glance to the clock tower near-by. _Rhys should be here._

"Have you ever been to the Mage's Guild?" he asks. I smile politely once more.

"No I have not. But I have always wanted to visit. I hear this one in Galen is extensive in their knowledge."

It was true.

And I have always wanted to look through any guild's library. There they hold some of the oldest books on magic. There might be a way to end these dreams of Daroth once and for all before they start happening more frequently. And then there is the issue with the vow…

"Why yes. We have over a thousand-"

"Arch-mage Anders." Rhys says shortly, cutting Anders off as he approaches. He doesn't look too happy to see the mage. I glance from man to man. They know each other it seems. But are they enemies? Acquaintances? Suddenly, I feel a possessive hand fall on my shoulder and I desperately want to shrug it off.

With the tension laced in the air, I don't dare move.

"Rhys Farrowslake." All good humor drops from Anders's face. "I see you haven't changed much"

With sudden clarity I remember Rhys's story of how he had been raised at the Mages Guild and how he didn't get along with the Arch-Mages who raised him.

 _Great._

"Nor you, Arch-mage."

They stare daggers at one another.

* * *

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

 _Thanks to those who have left reviews! (and those who read this story)  
_ _I've gotten the next several chapters written so I'll post around one every three or four days. I've mapped out the story (I know exactly how its going to end) and it will be about 50-60 chapters in length. I've also already come up with an idea for a story with one of the side characters based on a different "more obscure" fairytale so later on I might explore that once this story is finished!_

 _To answer your question sildarmillion, this story isn't mainly about Namina's relationship with Daroth but it plays a HUGE part in it. The story is more about overcoming evil and finding yourself. I wont say much else. I don't want to give too much away :) There are about 5 or 6 more flashbacks before we see Daroth as the "abusive_ _finance" and it happens slowly over time. ALSO, some of the characters in the flashbacks will play BIG roles later on so pay attention to that._


	12. Chapter 12

**_Two Years Before_**

Advisor Daroth had been put in charge of my tutoring.

When my father gave me the news it took everything in my power not to shout for joy right there in his office. Surely he would have reconsidered if he knew what it meant for me. No more Tutor Deran and more time with the man I love.

I had thought Daroth's request to train me would fail, but when it was granted I did not question why a king's advisor would be put in charge of a young woman's mage education.

I was only ecstatic.

I would come to find out almost a year later that it had been Karthon's idea for him to tutor me and not Daroths.

It made sense now, but at that moment I don't think the truth would have mattered so much to me.

We would meet in various places for an hour or so a day after my normal tutelage for our lessons. Sometimes it was in his chambers or in mine. Sometimes we met in the secluded area of the gardens where no one would venture. If we were in the public eye, we maintained a proper distance. No one could know that I, a princess, was romancing an Advisor. If we were seen together in the wrong way, it could damage both his chances of political growth and my reputation as a royal and future queen.

He taught me certain skills from the soul arts that I could use with my healing magic such as manipulating emotions and causing sleep to come over a person.

Skills that were useful as a healer but could be used in other capacities as well.

I remembered one such lesson he had given me.

I had sat in Daroth's lap, resting my back against his chest, as he showed me how to twist emotions of others. I had not known that this was possible as a healer but Daroth, as a soul mage, knew a lot more magic than I. He kissed my hair as he pulled my hands out in front of me, and laid his on top.

He spoke with his cheek pressed against mine.

"Now, Namina, focus your mind on the person you want to control. Focus and press the emotion you desire into their soul. It will take time and practice but with effort you wont even need to use your hands. It will all happen in the mind."

I laughed "I feel ridiculous!"

"It takes time! Now, it wont work on me because I am much more powerful than you are"

I huffed

"Well I am!" I could feel his smirk through his words and against my cheek. "But I want you to try it on Lady Endra over there. Twist your hand like this" he showed me the move with my own hands. Lady Endra sat about ten feet away with her Husband Lord Terth, completely oblivious to us.

We had been sitting in the gardens, cloaked in Daroth's magic. Using some elemental power, he was able to refract the light away from us, making us basically invisible. If anyone passed too closely they wouldn't see us here, just an empty garden bench.

I loved being so out in the open yet so disguised.

It was the best feeling in the world not to be noticed.

It was the perfect place for two lovebirds to escape the humdrum of court.

"How do I find her soul?"

"Is that a question of anatomy or the fact that you think Lady Endra doesn't have one? He teased.

I smirked. "Does it matter?"

Daroth laughed. Such a beautiful sound.

"Really though. As a healer you search the body for ailment and affliction do you not?"

I nodded.

"Well it's almost the same principle, only this time you aren't searching for something to fix but something to change. Push your magic deeper into their body and into their heart. When you find a pulsing energy you know you've found the soul"

I turned my head so I could look at his features better.

"Do you manipulate people often?"  
He smiled playfully and pretended to ponder my words "Politically, yes. Magically…Well I've only the slightest of healing magic so any soul manipulation completely winds me. Now stop dillydallying and lets see you do it."

"Fine" I sighed.

I looked over to where Lady Endra, one of the oldest courtiers in the palace, sat with her husband a few hundred feet away. She always looked sour but today even more so. We watched as she went on a tirade, ranting at her husband. That was nothing new. I smirked as I imagined her jovial and reached for her with my magic.

The beauty of the healing arts is that they cannot be felt unless you are actively affecting the body, so as I searched for her soul, she wouldn't take notice.

I see her body as if a detailed anatomical map in my mind but nothing "pulsed" like wounds usually did. Taking a deep breath I pushed harder.

 _I know you have a soul, Lady Endra. Where is it?_

Finally, I found it.

Or rather, it found me.

The soul of Lady Endra had a color! It glowed a soft orange and while centered mostly at her heart, seemed to flow throughout her body. How had I not noticed it before? On anyone.

Did all souls have color?

I would ask later.

Feeling out her soul, I pushed my magic into it the best I was able and willed her to change.

At first nothing happened. Then, slowly, Lady Endra began smiling. Soon she was cracking jokes and laughing to her self. Her husband stared at her in horror. Both Daroth and I cackled watching it.

"Oh, this is marvelous!" I said, looking up at Daroth.

"Yes. You have the gift and your power is strong. I'm very glad to see that," he had said smiling down. He studied my face, looking for signs of exhaustion.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine, I guess. I feel no different. Is that normal for a healing mage?"

Daroth was quiet for a moment, his smile growing as he looked on me. "Yes. For the few strong ones who know this trick."

"Well, enough of this then"

I tentatively reached up and placed my hand on his cheek before pulling myself around to kiss him full on the mouth. He responded.

"What else do you have to teach me today, sir tutor?" I had said mischievously against his mouth. I knelt between his legs on the bench and wrapped my arms around his neck.

While kissing me deep he pulled me even closer to him. I was happily pressed against his chest. Those feelings of vivacity ran through my veins.

 _Alive!_

 _Alive!_

"I'm sure I will think of something. You are, after all, a fast learner."

I laughed heartily as he picked me up and started carrying me through the gardens to our favorite spot.

* * *

Later that day, I sat at dinner beside my father.

The talk was bland. Or lewd. I all but ignored everyone.

I was bored.

Nobody cared.

I gazed off into space, uninterested in my dinner. My fork kept piercing the leafy greens on my plate rhythmically. Leyla, a courtier -turned -courtesan near my age shot me a look of disdain. For my attitude or jealously at my position I knew not.

It was always the same.

In reply, I curled my lip just slightly and resisted the urge to slump in my chair.

Then, to my left, movement caught my eye. The doorway to the dining hall was open to allow a decent airflow in the summer heat. I caught sight of Daroth, his hands full of papers, as he walked by the dinning hall. We locked eyes, but before I could motion for him to wait, he walked on, seemingly in a hurry.

Maybe I could help.

It would be better than wasting away here.

"May I be excused, my Lord?" I said suddenly, addressing my father and standing at the same time. A servant hurried over to pull my chair back for me.

The room silenced and most of the other nobles stared.

Lord Karthon looked up at me, suspicious.

King Signor frowned but otherwise ignored me.

"Is there a reason you are not wanting to stay for the other courses, Namina?"

I placed my hand on the flat of my stomach.

"It's been a tiring day and I feel faint. I would hate to bother everyone if I were to become ill."

I _had_ to catch up with Daroth.

"Fine" he grumbled and waved at me like I was one of the servants as he turned away from me and back to King Signor.

Good enough.

I nodded to the servant who stood with my chair and walked as quickly as I could while maintaining a lady-like air about me.

Once I had cleared the dining hall I nearly sprinted to find him.

As I rounded a corner I paused and ducked back behind it.

I had found him, but he wasn't alone.

Daroth stood with Rane, one of the young men from the higher nobility, talking low and fast not even ten feet from where I was.

The papers that had been in Daroth's hands were now in Rane's.

 _Why Rane?_

Rane was a man of sour demeanor who would have been handsome were it not for that fact. He had the same blonde hair as Mara (they were cousins) and pale blue eyes much like Daroth's. His jawline was strong and nose was long in all the right ways a woman liked.

He just never smiled.

Ever.

It must have been tiring always looking down on others, for that seemed his favorite sport other than swordplay. Condesending and dangerous. I had always stayed out of his way as much as possible when he was in court but I couldn't help wonder now why he was talking so adamantly with Daroth.

They looked to be…well…friends.

They were near the same age but other than that, the similarities ended.

How did they know one another? They weren't even from the same territories.

"The black guard is training as we speak."

Daroths voice sounded relieved "Good. I've had word from High Prince Karthon that offensive exercises are a go. Here are the documents you need in order to clear the border."

It was just more military business. Nothing new.

Nothing _interesting._

"Advisor Quentin?"

"Taken care of. Just follow the orders."

"Daroth, are you sure…"

The words became inaudible and my guilt surged at eavesdropping.

Steeling myself, I stepped out from behind the corner and walked gracefully toward the men.

"Advisor Daroth. Lord Rane."

Both men bowed. Daroth slightly raised an eyebrow at me as if questioning why I was there. He _had_ just seen me at dinner.

Rane just scowled.

"Princess Namina. How do you fare this evening?" Rane's tone was terse.

 _Like he really cared._

"I am well. Thank you. And you?"

"I would be better if you weren't underfoot"

 _The audacity!_

"Lord Rane, I-"

"We are currently in the middle of something, Princess if you do not mind" Daroth intervened, cutting off my heated reply. I glanced from one face to the other. They both just stared at me like I was in the way of "adult business."

Daroth felt the same as Rane it seemed.

I shouldn't have followed him. I just couldn't stay away.

 _Oh gods, I'm an imbecile._

"Y-yes, well, I apologize. I will leave you two then. Have a good night" My face burned. I crossed my arms and passed them.

"Oh, and Princess" I paused and turned back at the sound of Daroth's voice. His eyes sparkled with slight humor. Rane still looked eternally bored and slightly agitated.

"I have a few things I would like to discuss with you about your training. Would you care to meet me in the council room in an hour?"

I pretended to mull over the question, tapping my finger to my lips.

"I will see what I can do, Advisor. Goodnight"

When I was out of sight I sighed deeply. It was a small relief to know Daroth still cared for me. Sometimes, keeping distance from one another was hard. We had to be so cold towards one another.

While I knew that he loved me, it still made me question "us" when he looked at me with little interest.

 _Oh do grow up Namina. You are eighteen years old for all the gods sakes._

 _Act like an adult._

I met him in the council room at the prescribed time.

Like I said, I couldn't stay away.


	13. Chapter 13

_With sudden clarity I remember Rhys's story of how he had been raised at the Mages Guild and how he didn't get along with the Arch-Mages who raised him._

 _Great._

 _"Nor you, Arch-mage."_

 _They stare daggers at one another._

 _..._

The intensity of this meeting burns a hole in my chest, bringing back feelings of vulnerability and insecurity. I have seen arguments like this before end in bloodshed. I have witnessed it with my very eyes.

I do not wish to again.

Rhys's hand still lies on my shoulder. I turn slightly towards him and he lets his hand drop to his side.

"You have not come to visit in some time," Anders says tersely.

"I have not had a reason to" Rhys's voice is carefully flat. It doesn't take an expert to see he does not care much for the Arch-mage.

Anders sighs, his angry demeanor falling away into something more akin to sadness. I feel myself relax at the release of tension. It is still here, but the edge of it all has dissipated.

"Your brother misses you, Rhys." _Brother?_

Rhys still displays anger in his countenance. "He could come visit me any time. I should not be the only one who must make an effort to communicate. And yet that is what you require. That I be the one to make all the efforts."

"Tevlin has been busy in his studies. He has almost advanced to Arch-mage. There is little time to leave the guild. You should know that"

"What I know is that I do not belong nor am I openly welcome at the guild. You've said it yourself Arch-mage, I am a disgrace to mages everywhere."

Anders sighs again. "I was angry at the time. You must let things stay in the past where they belong"

"The past _is_ in the past, but the repercussions are something I am still living with every day."

"You have so much anger in your heart, Rhys. You must know that it clouds your judgment. I don't even need my magic to see that."

Rhys grits his teeth "What you need to see is that I wish to be left alone."

"Ah, but you are the one who approached me" Anders holds up a hand.

"No. I approached this young woman right here." I feel Rhys's hand on my upper back.

I interrupt before it becomes too heated. I put a hand on Rhys's arm and look at Anders. "I'm sorry to have bothered you Arch-mage, but thank you for your help. I would love to come visit some time. We probably should be going."

It effectively ends the conversation.

He smiles, albeit grimly. "Yes. It is probably for the best. It was a pleasure meeting you Mina" his eyes meet Rhys one more time "Feel free to come by, Rhys. When it pleases you of course"

He bows and walks away, his purple cape fluttering behind him.

I look up at Rhys who is still simmering.

"I did not know you know him"

"Knew him" He corrects, and then lets out a long, slow breath.

"I came to tell you the news. You have been given the position," Rhys says, relaxing back into his normal self, albeit slowly. "I'll take you to the healers quarters if you would like."

My heart sings as I take the information in. I am now a Galen Capitol healer.

 _The odds of it all!_

"Thank you, Rhys." I say as we turn back towards the castle.

He merely grunts in reply.

Moody is he?

I brave asking him about the exchange as we walk, my hands holding my cloak shut. "Anders is the arch-mage that raised you, isn't he?"

"One of them. Yes."

"And Tevlin?"

"My younger brother. They dote on him. He is talented I'll give him that, but he's too much of a suck up. I'm content knowing he is doing good and staying out of harms way to care much further."

"Surely you don't mean that"

"Ah, but I do"

I think of what it must have been like for Rhys growing up in the Guild. What had caused such a rift in his relations with Tevlin and Anders? I don't want to ask.

I have my secrets too.

What would it have been like to have a sibling, I wonder. Would they have been close to me and I to them? Or would they have aligned themselves with our father and uncle?

It is a strange thought.

"What is Tevlin's skill?" I inquire.

"He is a spirit mage, like Anders. In fact he tutored him personally. A great honor" the last part is laced with sarcasm. I wonder if there is not some jealously there.

"I see"

"The healers quarters are around back just past the beginning of the training yards. Come. I'll take you there and introduce you to everyone" the subject was changed.

We pass through the large gate once more and into the large bustling courtyard. Rhys takes me around to the side of the wall and through an open stone-arch hallway that leads around the complex. Every so often he bows or nods to those we pass. I simply nod, not knowing if they are important or not.

Coming around to the back of the complex, I see the open fields used for training.

Large bales of hay marked with red paint are used as targets for archery. Rings of rope and wood create small fighting arenas for swordplay and other weapons practice. Most of the equipment is in use at this hour. I marvel at the skill the men have.

"Impressed are we?" Rhys asks with a smile. He has pushed the conversation from earlier and all thoughts of the mage's guild from his mind.

I nod, eyebrows raised.

"I would love to learn some of these skills"

Rhys barks a laugh "Really? But you are a woman?"

I eye him shrewdly. "And?"

"Women don't fight."

"We fight." I say, turning my attention back to the action. "We just fight with what we have. Our emotions, our words, our bodies. What I want to know is how to defend myself and fight with steel. You once offered to train me to use that knife of yours. Is that offer still open?"

Rhys is quiet for a moment. "Mina you never cease to surprise me. I can't teach you to fight, but I can teach you defend yourself. Shall we start next week?"

"May I ask why its is you cannot teach me to fight?"

"Gallen law. Women have their place and men have theirs."

I roll my eyes. Gallen was almost as bad as Irisidea. At least in Parth and Vinerath, the two kingdoms to the north and south respectively, women have rights. There are stories of women in power, not just as figureheads but as actual leaders and politicians.

Even as I was to become queen, I would not be the one in charge.

My husband would be.

I just have the power to choose who that is.

Or I _had_ the power.

Until the decision was taken from me.

"Fine" I answer. No use arguing right now. "Next week then. But if you find a way to go around the rules and teach-"

A scream breaks off my words. Rhys runs towards the archers. I follow, my heart pounding.

Running across the field nearly knocks the breath out of me. I have grown weak from hard traveling and small rations.

I huff when we arrive at the scene. Men gather around looking at something. Rhys pushes his way through the group of men and I wriggle in behind him. When we come to the center, we fond what has caused the commotion.

A young page has been shot in the chest and is bleeding out fast. He cant be more than twelve. His face is pale and tear streaked, his expression horrific and pained. He wheezes.

Poor boy.

"We need to get him to the healing quarters" someone shouts.

"There's no time. He'll bleed out faster if we move him. Look" another counters.

"It was an accident. I had not realized Ero was collecting the fallen arrows until it was too late. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" comes another.

Rhys kneels and pulls me down with him.

"Can you heal him?" He asks. "It might be the only chance he has"

I study the boy. How much energy will it take? Normally I would be able to, but it has been so long since I have been able to actually use my powers for what they are meant for other than healing common colds and the like.

"I'll do my best" I breathe. Rhys nods and moves away, leaving me kneeling by the boy.

"Remain calm. This woman is a healer. She will help him" he announces to the others.

I shut my eyes tight for a moment and concentrate hard on my magic before opening them again.

Looking at the page, watching him fall in and out of consciousness, I can feel the pulsating heat of the wound. The arrow has missed his heart, thankfully, but has punctured a lung.

"Gods forgive me," I mutter before pulling the arrow out of his chest in a swift motion. A few soldiers make sounds of exclamation. The boy passes out fully and the blood begins to swell from the wound faster.

I take a deep breath, place my hand over the injury without touching it, and channel my magic into him.

It takes only seconds for the blue light to form between my hand and his chest. Slowly, the blood stops coming. I see in my mind's eye the inside damage beginning to heal itself.

Without my meaning to, my magic latches onto his soul. A deep yearning springs up in my heart.

I _want_ to do it.

 _No! I can't! I promised never to touch that magic again._

But I know this will do more good for the boy than harm. I feel the need to alter his emotions pull at me, guiding my magic deeper into his very essence while I also heal the wound.

I give in.

Slowly, I pull at the young boy's soul, putting him at ease. When he wakes up, he won't be in shock.

He will know that he is okay.

It takes mere seconds to do, to heal him and soothe him, but just as fast I feel all my energy drain. The altering of emotions does not drain me faster, but it does not empower me as well. I am so tired! My vision blurs but I keep my hand still and over his chest. My fingers tremble with the exertion.

I will pass out soon.

 _Not yet!_

The world darkens around me.

 _Almost!_

As I finish with his body and sense his breathing go normal, I gladly let myself fall into the darkness.

.

When I wake I find myself in a room lined with beds. Some beds are occupied with various patrons. Two people in the room move from person to person, having quick conversations with them and dealing ministrations of various medications or using healing magic.

I recognize the kind of room I am in.

I am in the healing quarters.

I sit up rubbing my temple and groan.

A petite ginger woman with a splattering of freckles comes to stand by me. She wears a plain frock with a white apron over it.

"You seemed to have out done yourself Mina" She tsks.

I stare at her in shock. "How do you know my name?"

"Rhys dropped you off. Said you healed a boy and then passed out on top of him. Gave us your name and told us you were our new healer. Though I have to say, I didn't expect the new healer to have to be treated as a patient the first time we met her."

"I miscalculated my energy." I say shortly. My cheeks burn with the embarrassment of having been carried here under such conditions.

Had I really passed out on top of the poor boy?

"You have quite a bit of energy, nevertheless. Most healers, we have two others including myself, can only heal smaller injuries without losing consciousness like that. You have power. Maybe a bit raw and untrained, but we will do what we can to help you in that regard."

I nod. "Thank you"

The woman smiles at me and moves to see to the next bedridden patient.

"Wait." I call. She halts and stares at me.

"I don't know your name"

"Oh. I am Tasha. I am the head-healer here." She says.

"Welcome to the Healing Quarters"


	14. Chapter 14

**AUTHORS NOTE: _If you didn't notice, I posted three chapters. ENJOY! That probably will never happen again. After the next chapter or two I will start posting on a weekly basis. Probably on either Thursday or Friday. Let me know if you have a preference!_**

 ** _We are now officially caught up with the old story. (and four chapters longer)_**  
 ** _I hope some questions were answered. I tried to build up the magic system a bit and had Mina explain it so hopefully you caught that! I can't wait for her and Rhys to visit the Mage's Guild! So much is going to be found out! Ahem...but I get ahead of myself. Anyway, here is the next chapter. Mina is officially in the Healing Quarters! And she's gotta get past a bit of an attitude in this chapter._**

 ** _Enjoy and review my pretties!_**

* * *

After Tasha makes the rest of her round around the room she returns to my cot.

I glance at her long red hair braided over her shoulder. I have always wanted red hair. It is exotic and beautiful. Not dull like my brown locks.

"Rhys told me a bit about you"

I raise an eyebrow "Do you know him well?"

"Oh yes. We were childhood friends. We are still very close."

Taking a deeper look at Tasha I feel a dull pang of jealousy. She is beautiful. While I don't feel drawn to Rhys in _that_ way, I still feel a bit of hostility course through me. He is my only friend here after all. And I seem to have forgotten that people could have more than one friend.

Had they been more than friends?

 _Does it matter, Namina?_ I chide myself.

Besides, I really know nothing about relationships.

...considering how my last one has turned out.

"That's nice" I force out as I sit up. I can't meet her gaze while my face burns from embarrassment. She can't read my thoughts but my cheeks will tell her enough.

I feel her hands on my arms.

"Here, let me help you down"

With her assistance, I manage to stand on my shaky legs.

I am still pretty weak from the healing. When I reach back to the bed to grab my owl feather cloak I find it missing.

Suddenly, I am racked with panic.

"Where is my cloak?!" I nearly yell the words. A few patients, who now I can see were made up mostly of soldiers (I would learn later than the royalty and aristos are treated in their own chambers) turn to look at me with curiosity or suspicion.

"Calm down, child" Tasha says. "Your cloak has been placed in your room"

I want to make a comment about her child remark. We have to be nearly the same age. I feel the haughtiness of being a royal sweep through me as I think how above her station I truly am. Then I feel humility.

 _You are no better. You know that.  
_

"I'm sorry," I say, covering my face with both my hands. "I'm just slightly emotional at the moment"

"You seem tired, Mina" Tasha says shortly. I would have thought her upset with me from her expression, but her brown eyes hold humor.

I nod and give a half-smile

"I suppose I am, despite just waking up"

She nods sympathetically and lets out a small laugh. "I understand. Last time I bottomed out in my power I was exhausted for nearly a week. Here's to hoping you have a faster recovery, dear. How about I show you your room and let you get to rest this evening. I can show the you rest of the healing quarters and introduce you to the other healers and apothecaries tomorrow. The we can gauge your energy levels and go from there."

"That would be lovely" I practically sigh the words. Maybe tomorrow I can actually function socially without feeling like a total failure.

Maybe tomorrow I can stop acting like a spoiled princess.

After Tasha shows me my room, one of many down a tight hall off the infirmary, she leaves me to my own. But not before motioning to a folded piece of parchment on a small nightstand in the room.

"Rhys didn't want to leave you without writing you a quick note. I placed it there when he gave it to me. Don't worry. I didn't read it"

"Thank you."

"My pleasure, Mina. I will come by tomorrow around dawn to show you to the baths and get you a uniform. After that, we can see about beginning your formal training." She leaves.

I stand there in the doorway for a moment, watching Tasha's receding back. Can I trust her? Can I trust anyone?

I know I shouldn't even trust Rhys as much as I do but I can't help it.

Something deep tells me to trust him.

My room is small; barely room enough for a simple bed, nightstand, and small dresser with a bowl and pitcher of water on top for washing. The walls are the same stone as the outside of the palace and the floors are worn wood. Its very quaint.

Once, again I feel a rush of relief at being out of Irisidea and safely into Galen.

This is a place where no one can bother me.

Besides for my healing magic, I am completely anonymous.

Shutting the door, I walk over to the bed. My cloak lies across the bed, seemingly untouched. It is such a relief to have it back.

It holds all I own now.

Sitting on the bed and pulling my cloak into my lap, I reach over to read Rhys's note.

 ** _Mina,_**

 ** _You are quite the healer! Thank you for saving Ero. I must say I am impressed, you being a woman and all._**

I bark a laugh at the comment.

 ** _Unfortunately, Some of the men and I have been called on another assignment. The good news is that it is only in the next town over and we will only be there a matter of days. Tasha has agreed to watch over you for me and help you adjust. I would hate for you to make a fool out of yourself while I am gone. You can trust her. She is a good friend._**

So I have heard.

 ** _I will try to visit you later this week when I return. We will discuss your knife fighting desires further._**

 ** _Until then,_**

 ** _Rhys._**

I stare at the words, at Rhys's fine handwriting and feel such gratitude for his friendship. A lopsided smile graces my features as I think of several replies to his oh-so-friendly comments.

 _I was the one who made a fool of myself, huh?_

The name of the boy who I saved catches my eye. _Ero_.

I make a mental note to search out young Ero and talk to him. He will have undoubtately feel something from my soul tampering. I need him to not say a word about it. If that skill were to get out into public knowledge it would spread like wildfire. Then Daroth _would_ know where I am.

Setting the letter down, I move to unpack my few possessions.

I don't have much with me, but I have enough to get by. I brought a small bag of Irisidean coins, a small comb, and a fine gown with me. Now I can add Rhys's knife to that as well. I finger the fine material of the dress. How I had gotten the gown into the cloak's pocket was beyond me but I don't question the magic. The dress is to sell and gain some more money when the small coin purse ran empty but now, with a roof over my head and a job in the Gallen Palace, I think about saving it. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be able to wear it again.

It is beautiful after all.

It had been a gift from Daroth, one of three, and while I had told him I hated them, I had to admit I was in love with the gowns.

Secretly I had adored them.

I just hated whom they had come from and why they were made. The celebration of our pending wedding and coronation had been planned to last three days and the three dressed coincided with those days.

I had run away the second night. We would have been wed and Daroth crowned king the next morning. The dress of that night was the second; the others being another ball gown and then my actual wedding dress. It had been the color of midnight blue and covered in small crystals to mimic the constellations. When I had worn it I had looked wrapped in a starry night.

I pull it out of the cloak and studied the material, thinking.

This dress had cost a small fortune. Probably enough to feed a village.

While I had been born in the lap of luxury and I was treated to feasts and dances, I had become more aware of the suffering of my people as I grew older. The rich aristos of Irisidea are corrupt. The advisors who had aided my uncle had been corrupt. I had once thought that I might be able to somehow, someway, put things right. Now, though, Irisidea would stay unbalanced as it is. I don't know what Daroth has planned for my country. I don't know if he has planned on just keeping everything the same or if he has much bigger ambitions. Honestly I have never thought about it. All I had thought about was first marrying him and then finding a way to kill him, or in the very least, escape.

Now he is King. And I, the runaway Queen-to-be.

 _But…_

 _What if he ends up being a good leader?_

My hands squeeze the soft material of the dress.

 _Will I leave Irisidea in his hands?_

No. I won't.

Somehow I don't see Daroth becoming the caring leader Irisidea needs. If anything, he will use Irisidea as a base to conquer other kingdoms. After all, he has the support of most of the aristos. To them, I am the eccentric and far too opinionated niece to the king.

In their eyes, he is the true hero. The ruler who will keep the balance.

They don't know him. They don't see the manipulative, cruel bastard underneath the handsome façade.

While he may once have been gentle and kind before being sucked into the world of politics, all I know him as is power hungry.

Both for the power of kings and the power of mages.

A dangerous combination.

My hands trace the gemstones embedded in the gauzy fabric of the dress and I decide to find a place to hide it. I don't want to keep carrying it with me, no matter how light it becomes in my cloak. There are too many memories within its folds that try to weigh me down.

I find a spot underneath my bed and slip it there, not caring about the dirt and cobwebs.

Sitting back up on the bed, I brush my hands through my hair.

Gods, I am still tired.

Even though it is early evening, I know I am more than ready for slumber.

I place Rhys's knife, a comb, and my small coin purse on the nightstand with my letter and lie down on the bed, covering myself with my cloak.

I will have to ask for a blanket tomorrow.

I sigh deeply, feeling the last two weeks catch up with me.

Within a few moments, I am asleep.

.

I know I am in another dream with Daroth as soon as I see the gardens. The lush greenness of it all almost makes me homesick.

Almost.

Funny enough, I'm not terrified this time now that I know he can reach me this way, but more irritated. The fear is still there, yes, but it only laces my emotions instead of consuming them. I walk over to an ivy-covered bench against the wall of the palace and sit.

Daroth appears almost instantly beside me.

"Come to assault me again, King Daroth?" I spit as I stare out to the hedge maze and the overgrown forest beyond. My uncle had always liked wildness, just not in people.

Daroth harrumphs.

"I've never assaulted you, dear Namina. Forced your affections yes, but I wouldn't go as far as calling it assault or abuse. You severely overreact."

"Same game, different name"

"It proved a point though." His fingers lace through my shoulder length hair as he leans towards me and his words drop. "I still own you, even within your dreams. Besides, we are practically almost married. Shouldn't I be allowed to enjoy the company of my wife?"

I stand, pushing him away

"Like hell I'm your wife. If you desire me back so bad why don't you just magic me back to the palace?"

Daroth pauses for the briefest second. I've found a flaw in his magic and it seems to have struck a chord.

"Unfortunately I cannot. It would make things so much easier if that were possible. But that reminds me why I brought you here. I wanted to give you another chance to redeem yourself. Where are you Namina?" His last question turns sharp and his eyes narrow, "Return to me now and I will be lenient."

I cross my arms defensively.

"You? Lenient? So you'll, what, spare me the whip?" the sarcasm in my voice strengthens my resolve to fight.

"Do not chide me, little bird. Just tell me." His eyes are sharp.

"Never. I'll not tell you where I am."

He takes a step toward me and I take one back, more out of habit than anything.

 _He can do nothing to me. This is merely a dream._

Daroth smirks at my actions. "It amazes me how stubborn you still can be. The night you left, I had thought you had finally turned over a new leaf."

I remember the last night in the palace vividly.

Every detail about the ball that had been hosted, every word spoken in congratulations, every controlling touch from Daroth has been imprinted into my memory.

Daroth continues, bringing me back to the present: "Such a clever little bitch you were that night, pretending to give in to me. I had felt something had been off but unfortunately I didn't follow that impression. I considered it a great accomplishment that I had begun to be able to better control you and so I relaxed my guard. Now I see differently. That won't happen again."

He reaches to pull me to him. I slap his hand away.

Fear still swells in my breast but I find am not petrified of him here.

I am more angry than I am scared.

I let that anger fuel my words:

"You are right. It won't. Because I won't be coming back to you. Haunt my dreams for all I care. When I wake up I will just put you behind me. Every day if I have to. I've learned in the last few weeks that you have no real power over me or my soul if I am not near you. I may be afraid right now, but these feeling pass"

He stares at me with such hatred in his eyes, his hands balled into fists.

If there is ever a time Daroth will want to truly kill me I suppose it will be this moment. I have always denied him, but now he really does have no power over me.

I know that.

He knows it too.

I decide to end things here before he does decide to truly hurt me. If I have felt his touches before, I do not want to wake up feeling beaten. Or worse.

Still, I cannot stop myself from one more jab.

"Oh, and Daroth, I love that you chose the gardens as our dream-scape rendezvous, but you seem to have forgotten one thing." I start backing up slowly towards a garden path. He follows with his gaze.

"What is that?" he growls between his teeth. Oh how I love seeing him so seething. For once it makes me feel in charge of our soul's bond.

Striking a nerve is empowering in its own way.

Also really, _really_ dangerous.

"I know the gardens better than anyone here, including you."

Before he can react, I turn and dash into the hedge maze.


	15. Chapter 15

**HUGE chapter since this has taken so long. (well, huge by my standards)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat, panting hard. A wooden ceiling greets my vision, illuminated only by the rays of dawn's earliest light.

For a moment I don't remember where I am.

Then I laugh out loud.

I'm in Galen. I'm in Galen and I have bested Daroth.

I have won this round!

Daroth had been unable to find me after I had darted into the hedge maze and out into the overgrown parts of the palace's properties. The gardens had been like my second home and I knew most of it better than the gardeners did. Once I had reached the wild growth I had hidden behind some brush. It took all I had to control my labored breathing as I curled up in a ball.

 _Reckless! Completely reckless!_ I think. _He could have found you at any moment._

But he didn't.

Time had passed by. It could have been minutes or seconds or hours. I know not.

All I know is right before the dream ended, seconds before I woke up, I had heard Daroth's scream of frustration, somewhere far off from where I lay hidden.

It feels marvelous to know that I have beaten him at his own game. I know it will not last and he will do all he can to gain the upper hand once more, but for now, I bask in my success.

A rooster crows somewhere from beyond my window and I sit up.

Today I begin my training as a Galen healer.

I can hardly wait.

The floor is ice under my feet as I get out of the bed and fold up my feathered cloak. The cold feels strangely nice but I slip on my boots anyway and clean myself up. Once I feel decent, I sit back on the bed to wait for Tasha.

The letter Rhys has written me catches my eye. I pick it up, scanning it for the second time. The name of the boy who I had healed yesterday catches my eye once more. _Ero._

I have to talk to him today. Maybe one of the other healers will know where I can find him.

I'm staring at Rhys's signature when a knock sounds.

"Yes?" I call.

Tasha opens the door. Her smile is as bright as it was yesterday. "Good. You're awake. Shall I show you around?"

As I follow her, I repeat Rhys's admonishment in my head.

 _Trust her. Trust her._

 _._

After giving me the "grand tour" which consists of the public baths, the greenhouse, the infirmary, and the offices, Tasha brings me in to the last part of the healers guild: a room that doubles as a library and a workroom, filled with books on everything ranging from healing spells to horticulture.

It is here where I meet all the others who work in the Healing Quarters.

There are six all together now, including Tasha and myself.

The other four eye me with curiosity. Two men and two women.

"Everyone, this is Mina. She's our new healer and Greta's replacement. Please make her feel welcome."

The older of the two gentlemen, a man with shaggy white hair and spectacles, approaches and takes my hand. "I am Percy, the head-apothecarist. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask"

I smile tentatively and nod.

The other three just watch, almost expressionless. Finally, another red-haired girl steps forward. She looks to be slightly younger than me and while I can't place how, also _very_ familiar.

"I'm Reyna. A healer." She grins politely gives me a small nod of respect.

Tasha leans in to me and answers the question I haven't yet asked.

"Reyna is my younger sister."

I find myself surprised that I did not catch on sooner to this. Now with the knowledge, there is no way they couldn't be seen as sisters.

The other two, a young man with short brown hair and another young woman, with large eyes and curly golden hair, introduce themselves as Renald and Maren.

I learn that Renald is Percy's apprentice and Maren is in charge of the greenhouse. She doesn't heal or make medicines but she contributes almost as much with her skills in herbology.

"You are Parth?" Maren asks.

"Yes"

"Tasha said you were found in the woods by one of the soldiers"

"Maren!" Tasha nearly screeches. Her cheeks are flushed enough to match her hair. I find mine heating as well.  
"Yes, well, Rhys Farrowslake did help me find my way here, that is true"

Maren grins wickedly "They say you were caught stealing"

"Okay! Enough of that, Maren. She's our resident gossip if you can't already tell. Don't take anything personally. She'll repeat _anything_ about _anyone_. Isn't that right Maren?" Everyone looks embarrassed now.

The girl looked positively entertained. "I'm not that much of a gossip, Tasha. I just speak my mind more freely than most. But don't worry, Mina. I like you. I won't spread it around."

 _Good to know._

Tasha's sister, Reyna, clears her throat.

"Shall I give her a basic lesson on healing techniques?"

"I think you'll find she knows the basics. Teach her about limits and what we do and don't heal by magic. Renald?" the young man looks up. "After lunch if you and Percy could show Mina the medicines and poultices we use?"

They both give their consent.

And with that, my first day in the Healing Quarters officially begins.

.

"So these are marjoram. We use them to make medicines to soothe the stomach. A lot of the ladies of the court use it." I look at the small bush with bright green leaves.

"Marjoram" I repeat as I jot the word down. I have been given a small notepad to record what I learn so that I may review it. I'm already thankful for it.

Renald leans down to examine another herb near the marjoram: a plant with many small white flowers covering it "And finally we have yarrow. Great for tonics and astringents."

He looks up at me and gives me a half-smile.

"Any questions?"

I have about a thousand but I reply "No. Thank you for showing me the greenhouse"

After Tasha had shown me around, I had been given a crash-course lesson on what I as a healer would be required to do. I had learned that we weren't supposed to heal small nuisances such as headaches and stomach pains or scratches and bruises unless they were severe enough to require assistance or if we had a mandate from the royal family. That's what herbs were for. This way our strength would be reserved for more urgent matters and illnesses.

Some of the royals had a specific healer they sought out when in need. Tasha reported to the King and Queen while Reyna helped out with some of the royal siblings. I learned that Greta, the woman I had replaced, had served the two older siblings: Crown Prince Siranthen and Princess Isadora. Fortunately, Tasha informed me that she would be taking over their needs until either I was ready, or another healer was brought on.

I had not been the only one they had been hoping to hire, it seems.

"Did you explain the watering schedule?" Maren calls from across the way. I watch her as she prepares different plants for Renald to take back to Percy for medicines.

"Ah, yes. So Mina, we all take turns in keeping the greenhouse up. It would be too much for just one person"

"Plus I get lonely" Maren interjects.

Renald rolls his eyes "Yes. There's that, I suppose. Anyway, every three days you'll have the assignment of taking an hour and helping out in the greenhouse. Mostly you'll just be watering the plants but if Maren needs extra help, you may be asked to oblige."

I nod "That sounds fine. I'm more than willing to help wherever I am needed"

"That's the spirit!" Renald rolls his eyes

.

Reyna walks me through the castle corridors. I can't help but to look around at all the Ladies and Lords as we pass, even with Reyna's warning to keep my head down and my focus on the path ahead. I watch one particular Lady dressed in a very Gallen styled lace gown pass by.

Suddenly, Renya's arm is in front of me, stopping me in my steps.

"Your Highness!" she gasps and drops into a low bow. I startle and turn. For a split second my mind jumps to the absurd conclusion that she knows who I am, then I see him.

Our eyes meet.

Prince Siranthen

The Crown Prince of Galen.

I stand there like a fool, just staring, before Reyna pulls my sleeve and I drop into a bow beside her, my eyes downcast.

There is a moment of silence and for a heartbeat I relax, thinking he has moved on, but then he speaks.

"Have we met, madam?" I straighten and tentatively meet his eye.

He does in fact know me. Or, should I say, we had met a time or two when he had come with his father for peace negotiations. They never ended on perfect terms but each visit was manageable. I had talked to the prince a few times while our elders were discussing diplomacy. The last time there had been an amiable meeting, and the last time I had seen Siranthen, I had been fourteen. He had been about the same age.

"I-I do not think so, your majesty. I am new here" It is to my horror that my voice breaks.

"And what position do you hold?" He is trying to place me, I know he is. If I say the wrong thing or make the wrong move it could trigger a memory. Once again I find myself terrified of being found out. Then I find myself tired of being terrified.

Reyna, so still beside me I have forgotten she is there, gasps.

There is a wave of confusion that runs over me before I realize with a jolt that I have left my smock behind.

"I am a healer, sire. Today is my first day. Please excuse my lack of uniform."

"No matter. A healer you say? Fascinating."

He turns to his manservant, a scrawny blonde fellow who looks as if he has drunk sour milk.

He reminds me a lot of Tutor Deran.

Maybe they are related? My eyes narrow just thinking about the tutor I hated so passionately.

Siranthen's voice draws my gaze back to him.

"I have been in need of a healer for a nasty rash I've been dealing with on my leg. Quite painful, actually. It's just been so busy that I haven't had time to contact the healing quarters about it. Are you any good?"

Reyna speaks timidly. "She is very talented, sire. One of our best even though she still has much to learn. A rash should be no problem. But is it not Healer Tasha who sees to you now?"

"I have not heard. Would it be a problem were I to ask another to attend me?"

Reyna looks dumbstruck and slightly startled at the question as if she is worried her reply may cause the Prince to strike her. Something tells me he is not that type.

Quietly she answers "No, sire. I did not mean to imply it was not your choice."

"No matter. You have not implied anything." He smiles kindly "I do think I will request another for now, however. Healer Tasha is usually quite busy with my mother and if I recall, you take care of Tonya, Westley, and Una."

She nods, grateful for his words.

"It is settled. I shall call for you, Healer…umm…what was your name?"

It takes me a moment to realize he is asking me now. My whole body has seized up and I stand there, terrified that my façade will suddenly disappear and he will pinpoint how I seem so "familiar."

"M-mina."

"Perfect. I know I've met you somewhere before. Perchance at a guild in Irisidea or Parth? Never mind that, what does it matter? I shall put in a request shortly."

"Yes, Sire" my face burns something fierce _._ The mentioning of my country turns my stomach. He is moments from discovering who I am. Fortunately, before he can ponder further on the subject, he is called away from an official down the hall.

"Well I bid you ladies adieu!" he calls.

Both of us girls stare unmoving as the Prince and his manservant pass us by.

Reyna turns on me, her eyes so wide I'm afraid they will pop out of her skull. Her have all but disappeared beneath her blush.

"That was the prince!"

"Yes, I know." my voice squeaks.

"And he wants you to serve him as a personal healer!"

"Yes, it seems so"

"Mina-"

I interrupt whatever Reyna starts to say. "Is there a possibility of getting you or Tasha to take my place? I can't do it."

"You're plenty powerful, Mina. A rash will be nothing to you, no matter how severe"

"Its not that. Please! I just can't" I push every ounce of my need into my words. She has to understand how important this is that I _don't_ serve the prince.

Reyna bites her lip. "I will see what I can do. But if the Prince specifically requests you before Tasha can intervene, you'll have to attend to him."

My pulse slows into a more peaceful rhythm at even the chance of avoiding the encounter.

"Thank you!"

She nods, still confused but willing to go along with it. "You're welcome. Ero is this way."

When we reach the room that belongs to Ero, I turn to Reyna

"Do you mind if I speak to him alone? It won't take but a moment"

The look I get is one of puzzlement but she does not argue or ask why, only nods and steps out of the room. "I'll wait for you down the hall"

I move to the bed and sit down on the edge.

"Are you Ero?" I ask the boy. His blue eyes stare up at me with intelligence.

"Yes. You're that woman who healed me."

I smile "I am. How are you feeling now?"

Ero takes a moment to consider. "Good. They say I should rest another day but I feel fine now. A little sore but not much else"

I pat his shoulder. "I'm happy to hear that. Sometimes recovery can tire a person, even when another is the one doing the healing. It may be good to take the day to rest, even if you do feel up to going back to your duties."

There is a moment of awkward silence as I stare at the twelve-year-old boy and he stares back. A silent conversation seems to pass between us.

An acknowledgement of my emotion-twisting.

"I know there was something else." He says in a slightly softer tone. I appreciate his candor. It saves me the trouble of having to ask.

"Yes. I soothed your soul. So to speak"

"Is that normal?"  
"Not exactly. That's really why I'm here I came here to see how you were of course, but I also needed to talk to you about that. Something in me told me that you would not take to the healing lightly if I did not calm you through magic. You take your job as page seriously don't you?"

"Yes." He furrows his brow in concentration "I expected to be distraught at missing my duties or fearful for losing my position but all I feel is calm. If I try to reach for those emotions I cant seem to grasp them. Is this going to last forever?"

"No. Only a day or two more. Who knows? It may wear off in a few hours. It seems to be different for everyone." I take a deep breath and say what I never have expected to have to say to a young boy.

I become fervent in speech. He _has_ to see how serious this is. "I am begging you to keep quiet about it. If word got out that I have these "skills" I could be in serious trouble. Maybe even hunted down. Can you keep this a secret between us? I will be in your debt and can promise you that if you ever need anything I will do my best."

I am literally trying to bribe a twelve year old to not get me killed.

He holds up a hand.

"You saved my life. That is enough. On my word as a page I will keep your secret, Healer."

My chest heaves from the notion. I feel the emotions build inside my chest and push against my heart.

"Thank you"

I stand to go. I'm such an emotional wreck of late.

Better to leave before I start crying.

"Rhys came to see me before he left"

I stop and turn back to the boy, shocked at the mention of my friend's name.

"Rhys Farrowslake?"

Ero nods and then scrutinizes me "He told me you didn't hesitate to heal me when you saw me. He also told me something else. Something he said no one else knows"

My mood grows sour.

"And what is that?" _I'll kill him._

"That you are brave for a woman and wish to learn to fight like a man."

It takes all I have not to burst out laughing.

"It is true. Parth law is different than Gallen. Women hold more power and do crazy things like learn to fight." I smile conspiratorially as I tell him this little piece of news.

Ero sits up in his bed; his light brown hair sticking up at all angles. It makes him look younger than his twelve years. "I know women are supposed to be docile and delicate but I kind of like the idea. I have a younger sister and to have her learn to be a page like me would be amazing. We are close and she loves to hear about what I do when I visit her. Unfortunately, she is destined to become a lady and marry high. I'm afraid she might one day become as boring as my elder sisters."

His fears amuse me. From what he says and his countenance as he says it, I imagine their relationship is close and his fears are unneeded.

"It is a shame to see young ladies become boring docile women, tis true. It takes all I have sometimes not to stand around gossiping or sew something."

I find myself delighted to get a laugh out of Ero.

"Well, I can promise you, if your sister is your friend now, she will always be your friend. Keep her close. And don't underestimate women. We are more than we seem."

.

Two more days pass as I learn more about my job in the Healing Quarters. While I make mistakes, especially when it comes to Herbology, I find myself getting into a rhythm of sorts.

My dreams are less tumultuous than before and I have had no visits from Daroth. It seems pissing him off has stayed his efforts. For now.

On the fourth day of my employment, I find myself with the duty of cataloguing medicinal herbs.

As I am sorting various plants into piles to be bottled and stored, I hear voices right outside the workroom. As the workroom borders the courtyard, the others usually leave the door open for fresh air and for the chance at any social interaction. Curiosity gets the best of me and I take a peak in the direction of the courtyard. Not even five feet from the entrance, Tasha is talking with a soldier.

A soldier I _know_.

I jump at the sight of Rhys.

 _He's back!_

He stands tall in his green and blue uniform, talking to Tasha. I pretend not to have noticed but can't keep myself from stealing glances their way. They look deep in conversation, obviously comfortable and very familiar with one another. Rhys leans down and kisses Tasha's cheek, then departs.

I suppose he doesn't want to see me after all.

 _It doesn't matter._ I scowl to myself.

After a moment, Tasha turns in my direction. I duck my head, busying myself with organizing the dried herbs on the table. I have lost complete interest in the work and I stare blankly at the bottles and herbs, my mind still wrapped in the idea of Tasha and Rhys. Reyna bites back a chuckle as she watches the whole interaction. I shoot her a look and she brings her hand to her mouth to silence the giggles.

Tasha's shadow falls over my work and I look up, feigning indifference.

"Yes?" I ask as politely as possible. When have I turned into such a stuck up brat? I warm my features up. "What can I do for you Tasha?" I say with more kindness.

Tasha smirks.

"Well I don't know if you saw, but Rhys has returned. He asked after you and I let him know when your shift ends. He said to meet him outside by the training yard when it does. Thought I would pass it on."

I furrow my brow. "Oh. I see."

Tasha laughs and places a hand on my shoulder.

"Mina, I don't know much about you, but I do know enough about being a woman and how we act. Either try to hide your possessiveness a bit better or come out and admit you have feelings for Rhys."  
"I don't have feelings for him. I just don't know anyone else," I state matter-of-factly.

And its true.

"You know me. And Reyna here is friendly when she's not in a mood" This gets a rise out of the sister beside me. She waits for me to reply with some kind of agreement.

I don't.

I'm still too guarded to fully accept them as "friends"

It's only been a few days.

Not that I don't I want to. They, as well as Reynar, Percy and Maren, have been nothing but kind to me and I am beginning to felt comfortable around them, but not like I feel around Rhys.

Something deep inside me tells me I can trust him.

Rhys is the person I can possibly start to let my walls come down with.

One day.

"Ah, well… If you do want meet more people Rhys or I can help you. You don't have to rely just on him." She crosses her arms.

I splay my hands against the table and take in a breath, looking down. My cheeks burn.

Tasha continues speaking, "And I want you to know that Rhys is like a brother to me. We were raised in the guild together. While I will openly admit at one time I felt romantic inclinations towards him, I do not harbor any trace of those feelings anymore."

"Why does that concern me?" I meet her gaze through my hair.

Reyna has the courtesy of staying silent.

She still wears her cute little smirk though. It isn't a cruel look, more amused.

Tasha sighs and I'm suddenly filled with a sense of remorse. I'm acting childish. I know it and Tahsa knows it.

"I never said it did. I just wanted you to know the truth about your friend and me. When you are ready for more than one friend, let me know. I can be one too, you know."

"Thank you" I mumble. I feel besmirched. "I apologize for anything I say or do that may seem rude. I'm still…adjusting."

Tasha lifts my chin with a finger and smiles. _Gods, to have looks like her_. Both she and Reyna radiate sunlight and happiness.

I am a dark cloud of emotion when compared.

"Cheer up, Mina. You are doing fine. Just relax." She declares, associating my actions with the stress of being a healer. That is part of it, yes, but it is only the surface of my stress.

With that she turns to head back towards the infirmary.

Reyna bumps my shoulder and shoots me a look. "I don't know what all has conspired between you and that guard but you needn't be so uptight. I know Tasha and I know that all that went down between them is long over. Her eyes are actually set on Lornen, but you didn't hear that from me."

"Lornen?" I ask incredulously. Lornen was the manservant of Prince Siranthen. I have only seen him once or twice after our first encounter as he came in to collect the various medicine or poultice for the prince during his training. Lornen, I discovered, is not as sour as I once imagined but merely a quiet man, skinny and always looks like he's tired. Considering what I have heard of Prince Siranthen's schedule and from my own personal experience with Mara, I now sympathize with the poor fellow. It is thanks to Prince Siranthen's schedule that I have not been called to attend him. Hopefully Tasha will have worked something else out by then.

Reyna gives me a conspiratorial smile. I can't help but smile back, the small bit of gossip breaking through my melancholy.

"Just watch next time they are around one another. Its quite entertaining I assure you"

"Oh, I plan to."

.

After my shift, I bid farewell to Reyna and hurry to the training yard. I tell myself the rush is so that I can rail him over the coals for telling others I wish to learn to fight. Honestly, I'm just excited to see him again.

Rhys, who apparently has been watching a sword match as he waits against the castle wall, greets me with a smile when he notices my approach.

"Mina! You've survived nearly a week on your own without stealing anything! How do you feel?"

I narrow my eyes at him but smile. "I forgot how much I missed your perky sarcasm"

"And I your quick wit. Come. I wanted to talk with you"

He holds out an arm and gestures me towards the castle gates. "I have a few errands in town before supper and I figured you could come along with me."

I nod. "That sounds nice"

Truthfully, leaving the confines of the castle makes me feel nauseous.

My hands became clammy.

I swallow hard and wipe my hands on my skirt when Rhys lets go of them. Why do I feel so even now?

Rhys seems not to notice.

"So things went well on my assignment, though not that you would really care about "guard business". I did think about you, though." He looks at me with that half smile of his.

"You did?"

"Yes. The whole time we were training the city soldiers on new protocol my thoughts would flit back to you. I wondered and hoped that all was going well for the little bird I rescued. You see- "

My eyes fly wide and I stop in the middle of the courtyard. Rhys turns around after a few paces, confused.

"Please!" I say, my heart pounding "Don't ever call me that again!"

He looks taken aback.

"What did I-?"

"Little bird"

His expression ceases to change. I sigh and consign myself to explaining a part of the past I would rather not have.

"My betrothed used to call me "little bird" to remind me of my place and I'd rather not be addressed as such anymore. No matter the reason." It had been Daroth's term of endearment for me. While at first I had liked being compared to a small bird, I soon felt it became a joke. It had become a way of Daroth reminding me I was always caged, always hunted.

Sympathy fills Rhys's warm brown eyes. He takes my hand.

"I apologize, Mina. I only associated you so because of your feather cloak and quick mannerisms. Had I known…"

"You didn't know. You have nothing to apologize for." I give a half-hearted smile and start walking again. Stares from the other Capitol dwellers around us follow our backs.

I have created a spectacle of myself once more.

Rhys continues tentatively, the exuberant cheeriness now gone "I had only hoped that you had found Gallen to be a warm and inviting place. My relief came when talking with Tasha. She mentioned you still seemed to distance yourself from others but that you seemed to be adjusting just fine"

"You are close to Tasha" It's a statement. Nothing more.

"Yes. She is a dear friend. We grew up together"

"So I've heard"

Rhys laughs, the mood lifting a bit higher from the melancholy I have pulled down on us. "You seem jealous, Mina. Don't worry. We weren't intimate."

I furrow my brow. "It's not my place to care about your intimacy, Rhys. We are friends are we not? That doesn't constitute a disclosure of past relations."

A smile still remains on his face. He pushes back his white hair. "I just thought I would inform you. Set your mind at ease, is all."

"No need. Now what was it you wanted to get?"

I am digging myself into a hole rather quickly.

I don't have _feelings_ for Rhys.

Or anyone for that matter. Even if I had been romantically attracted to him, I wouldn't act on those feelings.

It would be too much too soon.


	16. Chapter 16

_**A WARNING: So this is actually pretty mild but this chapter is a love scene (Strictly night-of to morning-after type of deal. I don't do detail) Feel free to skip the first half of this chapter if needs be, but the second half is pretty important.**_

 _ **Also this is the second chapter posted today so if you missed the one before, well, you know what to do :)**_

* * *

 ** _._**

 ** _One Year and Ten Months Before_**

Within the next few months, Daroth and I had taken the next step in our relationship.

We consummated our love.

While I had planned on waiting, it just…sort of happened.

I had visited him in his bedroom one evening. Our kisses and touches had turned more passionate than usual. We stood near the fireplace, my back against the wall and my legs around his waist. I didn't know when I had ended up in such a position but I didn't care. All I cared about was where he would touch me next. My hands had removed him of his shirt and I knotted my fingers in his hair while he kissed my collarbone, my throat, my jaw, making his way back to my mouth before invading it.

"Namina." He had groaned against my mouth. "I need you."

I didn't let the rational part of my mind have any say. I merely let my heart and my desires guide my words.

I panted, "I'm ready"

He carried me to the bed.

The next morning I awoke to sunlight streaming through his window, illuminating the red canopy above us. The night before played in my memories, causing a small smile I couldn't get rid of.

I loved him. I loved him with every part of my soul and I had no regrets.

I rolled over, pulling the sheets firmer to my chest as I faced him.

"Good morning" I whispered, my voice lined with sleep.

"Hello" he smiled at me and reached to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. My heart pulsed at his touch. Even now, he still looked perfect. Tousled hair suited him.

We just stared at one another for a long moment, soaking it all in.

There was no going back now.

I had given myself to the advisor.

"How do you feel?" he asked. I placed my hand on his chest and glanced at my fingers splayed against his skin.

"Wonderful. A touch sore but wonderful."

He moved toward me and pulled me into his arms. "Good"

I dozed lightly as he held me. His fingers wound themselves in my hair. This was utter bliss. Nothing could ruin this moment.

Nothing.

Then a clock across the room struck nine and Daroth jumped.

"Shit!" he barked, sitting up. I followed suit, still clutching the sheets to me.

"What is it?" I watched as Daroth moved from the bed.

"I'm late for a council meeting" he said as he pulled on his trousers.

I bit my lip, admiring the toned muscles of his back as he did so.

I had turned into quite the sap.

"Can you see yourself out?" he asked as he pulled on a doublet and pulled back his hair.

I huffed. "Don't worry about me, Daroth. Just get to the council. If Signor or Karthon ask just tell them I intercepted you and had questions about our lessons"

He smiled as he finished and came over to kiss me once more.

"Yes, and I will be sure to tell them that our lessons went _very well_ last night."

"You're a cad" I laughed and kissed him quickly. "Now go."

When he had left, I gathered my own clothes and began to dress. A grin spread wide on my lips as I caught sight of my reflection in a nearby mirror. Mornings never had suited me but on this morning I felt the most beautiful woman in all of Irisidea. My hair was a total mess and my cheeks were flushed but my eyes sparkled. It also helped that my lips were still slightly full from a night full of kissing.

Mara would have a fit when she saw me.

No. She'd have a conniption.

 _Oh, gods. I can't wait to tell her!_

When I dressed back into the sleeveless green gown I had worn the night previously, I sat on the edge of his bed.

 _I should leave_.

But I didn't want to.

I felt at home in his room more than I ever did in my own.

His room was not unlike mine, a bit smaller maybe, but still fine. While my own was decorated in gold and pale blues with finer furniture than this, his was full of deep reds and dark wood. If was beautiful and warm.

The idea of leaving it almost pained me.

Would things go back to the way they were? Or because of last night, had things changed once more?

And for the better or the worse?

I supposed I would find out soon.

.

 ** _One Year and Seven Months Before_**

I stayed in a constant euphoric state of bliss.

When my father took notice of my jovial attitude he did not pry. He could have cared less whether his own flesh and blood was happy or depressed. As long as she was obedient.

And I was.

For the _most_ part.

Then came the night when everything really began to change. Looking back I could see the very moment when Daroth's intentions changed, but it would still be months before I realized what was truly happening. I was still living in happy ignorance.

"I've been studying at the Mages Guild in Renor, looking for other skills we might be able to learn in our lessons," He said as we lay together. My head rested on his chest, feeling the vibrations of his words while he played with my hair. "And I came across an ancient scroll. It must have been at least two hundred years old! In it detailed a ritual that binds two souls together into one. It is called the Mage's Vow and it gives the two bound mages access to one another's power and soul."

He sounded excited. My fingers traced his arm. "Hmm, what of it?"

Daroth almost looked sheepish. "Well, I'd like to take the vow with you, little bird."

I gasped playfully and propped myself up on my elbow.

"Advisor! Are you proposing?"

He smiled but sobered quickly. "In a sort I suppose I am. You are the Princess, Namina, and I am but an Advisor. The newest of that!"

"You won't be when they call someone to replace Advisor Ernan." I reminded him.

"True. But while our stations are so different, having anything other than these secret meetings has seemed out of our reach. Not anymore. With the Mage's Vow, we can make our love more solid. This was the way mages would marry hundreds of years ago, you see. A bond deeper than a King's blessing or a priest's words. True magic to bind those who love."

I listened to his words and watched his eyes dance as he spoke. He wanted this.

He wanted _me._

I did not hesitate. "Yes."

His eyes widened.

"Yes?"

"Lets take the vow, Daroth. Lets seal our love."

Utter joy spread through his features. But something was off.

There was another emotion there too, one I could not decipher. It seemed to be edged with a darkness I couldn't rationalize.

Triumph?

I thought no more about it as he pulled me back into his arms and kissed me senseless.

* * *

 **While I'm thinking about it I'll answer a few questions!**

 _So I hope this shows the start of her figuring out his intentions may not be as honorable as she thinks they are. As far as if he ever did/does love her, well, you'll see :) And the whole "sold" comment she has mentioned once or twice is explained pretty soon. Its more of a metaphor for her but there was a contract involved. But thats all I'll say for now._

 _Also, I will be going more in depth with her powers, especially as it deals with Daroth. Even Rhys's small magic will be explored. The thing about Mina's powers is that while she is powerful, she was never taught properly to use them. (for reasons. You'll see. It has to deal with Daroth and her father and uncle) She's not this amazing all powerful healer or mage but she is powerful. Now that she is connected to Daroth (explored really soon and does have to deal with what they talk about above) her powers are almost multiplied. This WILL have negative effects though. I'm really excited to get to those!_

 _ALSO I posted a few things about the different countries/what Namina, Rhys, and Daroth look like in my bio._


	17. Chapter 17

**_AUTHORS NOTE: I've been DYING to post this chapter. I almost did it when I posted the other two but I'm trying to spread it out a bit.  
_** ** _This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Mina has got a bit of a feminist streak in her._**

 ** _I hope I've been able to show her growth and it will definitely continue, but her fears aren't just going to go away. She's a very flawed character and makes a lot of stupid choices but she means well. She's been raised with a Princess mentality and so she has had to learn how to deal with the world in a different way. While she has always cared for others and thinks the Irisidean government is corrupt, she is not as in touch with reality as she thinks. Rhys is not afraid to call her out and he does so here. Vice-versa as well. They balance each other in their friendship.  
_** ** _Also, you get to meet the Prince more! Yippee!_**

* * *

After another few weeks in Gallen, I really begin to settle in and become comfortable. I find I _like_ it here, even as just a servant.

My skills have become more honed in the healing arts and I realize just how little I had been taught by Tutor Deran.

Daroth had taught me much, but it was all for his gain. Even the basics of healing, while instinctual, had been left out of my lessons.

To make sure I have no more visions I have Maren make me a poultice to put me into a deeper sleep. It seems to work. I feel well rested and energized both in body and in spirit and every morning I wake up dream free.

I even find I am able to forget about Daroth for a few hours at a time. The first time I realize I had gotten through a day without thinking of that cursed man I nearly cry from happiness . It is such a relief not to have him in my life anymore.

Things are looking up.

.

"No! Mina, do not block the knife with your hands. That's the worst possible thing you could do. If you block, and you know you are going to get stabbed, use your forearm. Better to get wounded there than mess up your hand for the rest of your life." Rhys informs me.

We had been sparing about twice a week for the last four weeks in a shed off of the fighting grounds. Rhys had informed me that it was merely a storage shed and no one ever came here anymore so it would be perfect for us.

"Don't you think people will get the wrong idea?" I ask when he first shows me the shed.

"What that I'm taking advantage of a healer now? Probably." He laughs.

"It may be nothing to you but I don't exactly appreciate the notion being spread around"

"Don't worry Mina! I've already informed half my retinue. Plus everyone here knows how honorable our new healer is. No one will even think to suspect such a thing"

Occasionally, others come to join us or to watch. I manage to get Maren to come once but after the first time she declares she'd rather not spend an afternoon sweating.

Even Ero comes once or twice to see us spar.

Well, to see Rhys spar.

Even though the location is perfect and my teacher is skilled, I basically am horrible at fighting.

At least now I have a sense of how to defend myself in a fight and attack anyone that might try to hurt me.

A sense.

Baby steps.

I pant hard, my hands on my knees and my throat dry from the effort of fighting Rhys. Of course, he seems not the least bit winded and stand relaxed in front of me. The jerk.

"Forearm. Got it."

"Now try again." He orders.

It is during these meetings that he becomes strictly a teacher. Gone is the playful Rhys and in comes the poised, serious guard. As much as he would have loathed hearing it, he probably would do well as a teacher in the mage's guild.

I narrow my eyes at him "You know this would be a fairer fight if you had let me keep my knife this time"

Rhys grins cockily, the first sign of humor in our practice. "And were would the fun be in that. Also, never know when you might not have time to draw your weapon before you have to defend yourself. You may find yourself in a situation where you don't even have your knife with you. For example, If you were someone of with fame and I an assassin…"

Without a moment's hesitation he lunges towards me. I jump back but he easily sweeps my feet out from under me. I land with a hard _thud_. My vision spins as I stare up at the hole-pocked wooden ceiling.

Before I even have any chance to get back up, he is straddling me, the knife he holds poised at my throat.

"See?"

I roll my eyes. "Okay. Fine. And while I enjoy the nostalgia of how we first met, can you kindly get the hell off me so I can properly best you?"

"Cocky are we? Fine. Let's see if you can best me. If you escape the shed in less than two minutes, you win."

He stands and helps pull me to my feet. I hold out my hand expectantly.

"Knife?"

"Oh no you don't. You have to earn it. Try to disarm me and run. You know how."

I sigh but lower my hand. "Bastard"

"That's the spirit" This time when Rhys comes towards me I am at least somewhat more ready. He swipes at my face with his blade but I effectively block.

"Good" the next move catches me by surprise. In seconds he is behind me, his arm wrapped around my middle and the knife at my jaw.

I growl as I struggle to release myself without slicing my own throat. After thirty seconds, I remember a move I had learned two weeks ago. I throw my elbow back and up as hard as I can, hitting Rhys in the ear. His grip slackens with a grunt and I turn, pushing the hand with the knife away and placing my leg behind his.

Then something unwanted happens.

Time seems to slow.

My magic flares slightly as I ready to push him to the ground. One hand lands on his chest and I can instantly feel his soul beneath his skin, pulsing and warm.

 _One little tug and you could end his life._ A dark part of me seems to taunt.

 _End it._

 _End it._

I gasp loudly as I lose focus and I fall into Rhys, effectively causing him to fall but also ending with me landing haphazardly across him.

A few moments pass; the only noise the sound of our breathing and the fighting of other soldiers down the way.

"What happened? You panicked there at the end." Rhys says sitting up. To my embarrassment, I am nearly in his lap.

"I don't know." My hands where trembling. Had I really just been tempted to kill him?

"Well you almost had me. Next time don't wait around. Just run."

I nod and back off of him.

Confusion fills his features. "Are you alright? You look pale, Mina"

I brush my hands down the tunic and pants Rhys has commandeered for me. "Fine. I'm fine. I should probably get back to the healing quarters and change before dinner."

"Let me walk you there."

"No need. I'll see you later." I can't meet his eyes. As I walk past him to leave the shed he grabs my arm.

"Mina. What's going on?"

"I just panicked, that's all. Nothing to it."

I can practically hear the eye roll "Yes and I just became King. Seriously Mina. "

I meet his gaze.

Rhys catches something in my emotions and narrows his eyes

"It has to do with _him,_ doesn't it?"

"Actually no. I honest to the gods just panicked. I promise you Rhys."

He lets go of my arm.

"Okay. I believe you. But don't let the fear of the past block your future."

"I wont! I promise. And I will see you later, okay?"

"Go on" he smiles and gestures me out the door. The subject has not been dropped I know, simply shelved for the time being. He wants to know what had happened.

I push all thoughts of death aside as I leave our meeting place.

 _It was just a bad thought._

The fear of my own self is not something I need to add to my list of worries right now. I have enough worries as a healer.

"Oh! Wait Mina!" he calls after me. I turn around to see that Rhys stands in the doorway of the shed and picks at the rotting frame. Whatever it was he has to say, he really doesn't want to say.

"I've made an appointment for us to visit the mage's guild in two weeks time. Anders says he will personally show you around and help you with any research you might be interested in."

I know it must have been hard for Rhys to contact the Arch-mage he seems to despise so much. The gesture is overwhelming.

"Thank you, Rhys. I look forward to it."

"Of course you do"

He harrumphs and turns back into the shed to clean up.

.

When I reach the Healers Guild, Tasha is there with Lornen, the manservant to the prince.

At first all I think about is what Reyna had said about Tasha having eyes for Lornen, then I remember _who_ he is. And _why_ he would be waiting here.

 _Gods no..._

Tasha looks at me with apologetic eyes. "Mina, this is Lornen, Prince Siranthen's manservant. He's come with a request for you to attend the Prince."

"But I thought that you would be taking over the request?" I ask somewhat timidly.

Tasha bites her lip. "I put in a request but was denied by the King. He wants my full attention on the Queen, as she has been ill for some time. It seems this is your responsibility for now. I am sorry."

Lornen looks me up and down before scowling "Are you wearing _pants_?"

I had forgotten my sweaty attire. Not only was I wearing boys clothes but they were also soaked in sweat. I must look and smell disgusting.

"Yes. May I change before coming with you?"

I know there is no getting out of this without causing attention to be drawn to me. If Siranthen wants to find out who I am now, creating a spectacle will only heighten his curiosity.

Lornen turns up his nose as he answers me. Not in a cruel way, but one that definitely lets me know he can smell me.

"Please do."

.

As I rush to my room I nearly growl out in frustration.

 _This was not supposed to happen!_

 _You aren't supposed to speak with Siranthen EVER!_

How did the Prince even remember Princess Namina from all those years ago? Had I been kind? Cool and aloof? Stubborn? Whatever I had been I have to play the opposite now.

Seeing as when we had last seen one another, I had been thirteen. Fourteen maybe. It would have been right after my mother's death.

That was when I really had started to act out.

Subordinate and calm Mina it is then.

That should be easy enough.

It only takes a few minutes to change and clean up before I am once again entering the workroom. Lornen stands by himself, Tasha obviously already back to her duties despite her most likely hope of spending some time with the man. He looks positively bored. I guess plants and medicine aren't his forte.

"I apologize for earlier. I am ready now"

"Good. This way, Healer Mina"

We walk in awkward silence through various corridors and rooms until we come to the doors of a seemingly opulent chamber.

The prince's chamber.

I gulp.

The sentries at the door usher us in after Lornen announces who I am and what business I have. Their eyes follow us. It unnerves me to no end and reminds me fiercely of some of the guards I had once been put under control of. Daroth's own personal sentinel he had named the Black Guard.

I forget about that instantly, however, as Siranthen comes into view.

The prince sits on a divan near a tall window overlooking the Capitol, oblivious to our arrival. His black hair is shaggy and unkempt and he wears a simple doublet, unlike the finery I had seen him in before. He is handsome, especially now as he peers off into the distance. I wonder what his thoughts are on. Politics? Women? Dreaming of escaping the confines of royal life?

 _Could he be like me?_

Lornen clears his throat.

"Ah! Healer Mina! I'm glad you are here. I apologize it took so long to request you. Things get so busy around this time of year and we've had so much going on what with planning for delegations and the like."Siranthen muses. He sure loves to talk. Poor Lornen must get tired of listening.

"Yes, your highness, it is my pleasure to serve you. I have been looking forward to it." I say as meekly as I can.

Lornen raises an eyebrow.

"Well, the rash I have been dealing with has not gone away. I thought maybe it would, seeing as its been nearly a month, but alas, no. It has actually spread. Shall we then?"He starts unbuttoning his doublet.

I squeak as he takes off the doublet and his undershirt to reveal his muscled chest underneath. Lornen has backed away but I still hear his snort of amusement.

Siranthen is not a scrawny man by any means but he is not as built as Rhys or some of the other soldiers. He has a more soft, handsome quality about his features, but he is muscular. I can't help but to admire his body as a woman.

Then I remember I came here to look at a rash, not his abs.

Fortunately, they seem to be in the same place. The red splotches on his skin wind up his stomach and chest and over his left shoulder. I am sure he has more on his hips and legs but refrain from asking to see. This is _plenty._

And that is the last thing I wish right now.

"Just lay back and relax." I instruct and then wince. Not only do my words lack any meekness whatsoever but they way I say them almost seems...inappropriate.

Siranthen just laughs but obliges until his back is on the seat of the divan.

I come up to sit beside it and place my hands over his stomach and chest without touching him.

"You say the rash is spread all over. I should be able to heal it just from your core. Do you mind?"

He watches my hands with curious eyes. "Not at all"

With barely a flinch and any effort, I access my magic and heal him.

.

"So then, Lornen here rushes into the dining hall intent on pulling me away from wooing Lady Quira but then realizes he has forgotten his trousers!" I laugh as Siranthen finishes the story.

"It was dire, your highness. You know that as well as I. Your mother had just given birth" Lornen interjects, red-faced. I nearly snort at the indignation he shows.

We sit around in different chairs near the window as Siranthen regales me with story after story. He had started sharing while I had healed him and I had been instantly grateful. With the distraction of his words, I did not think about tapping into his soul and my magic stayed strictly on the surface. Bribing a young page is one thing, but to have to convince a Crown Prince of my enemy that he should keep my magic a secret could prove impossible.

When I had stood to leave after the healing, however, he had ushered me to stay and for Lornen to join us. Tea and some food had been called for.

That had been forty minutes ago.

My attempts at docile persona have slipped away and I laugh freely, asking for more stories and feeling better than I have in quite the time. Siranthen seems to have forgotten about trying to figure out who I am. While he may not know who I am, I am beginning to recall just what he was like.

The more time I am here in his quarters, the more I remember his visits.

I remember now getting into trouble with him in Irisidea when we were ten. We had once hid under the council table for three hours because the council session had started before we could escape. We were only caught when Siranthen accidentally knocked one of the Gallen delegate's leg and he screamed in surprise. The punishment inflicted afterwards by my father, a day without food, was nothing compared to the fun I had had with the Gallen Prince. When mother had heard of the escapade it had taken her twenty minutes to stop laughing much to my father and uncle's chagrin.

"She's ten, Karthon. You and King Signor I'm sure were ten once!" she had argued for me when I had been sent to my rooms.

Oh how I wish I could bring up the story now!

Unfortunately, that would basically ruin everything I've worked for in the last two months.

While he dives into another story I watch him, scrutinizing him.

The Gallen royal family has been in power for many, many centuries while Irisidea has faced civil wars numerous times. I am only the seventh in my family line of rulers. The first Dorn ruler had had no idea what he was doing and it took his son a near decade to clean up the mess. The Gallen royal family, aptly named Gallen, has seemed to have no problems in quite the long time. Does having such ancient ruling blood change the way one is King?

I watch as he talks with his hands, his eyes shining with delight over the story he shares. What kind of king will he be?

Siranthen glances at me and and I smile.

Suddenly and without cause, I am struck with a desire so dark I have to look away.

 _End the Gallen line. You would be a better ruler anyway._

I shiver at the idea and the fact that this thought came from within _me_. I squirm uncomfortably in my chair and push all thoughts of magic away.

 _No._ I chide myself. _Those views are nearly Daroth's influence upon me._

The darkness rears up in my mind once more, coloring my soul black and clutching it in its slimy grip. It is as if I can no longer control my own inner dialogue. Thoughts that seem not to be my own flood my mind.

 _Then again, they would as soon kill me as I could them. It would solve numerous problems and end a century long war. I could even become Queen over all four kingdoms if I please it so. I have the power after all, if I only give in to it. If I give in to-_

"What of you, Mina? Any childhood stories you would like to share?" the prince's voice interrupts my dark thoughts and breaks the spell, leaving me cold.

"No. My life has been pretty boring." I lie as I rub my arms.

"Are you alright? You look a tad pale." Lornen says, leaning towards me." I back up quickly. I do not want to be touched. I do not want the chance of my magic flaring to life in the wrong ways.

It is _definitely_ time to leave.

"I think I must return to the healers quarters, my prince, as they will be expecting me, but I thank you for the afternoon and for letting me serve you"

As I stand, Siranthen stands as well and reaches out a hand. It is rude not to take his hand and I know that I should as I am supposedly beneath him. Can I trust myself?

Tentatively, I place my hand in his. He brings it up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles softly.

I could easily reach out and kill his soul if I wished it. I know that. I'm sickened by the idea.

My hand tingles where he has touched it.

"Well I hope you have a wonderful evening, Mina. I will definitely call for you again. My sister, Isadora, will also hear of your fine services and company."

I smile, but it does not reach my eyes.

"I thank you, your highness."

.

A few days pass from my attending the prince and I have not heard from him or his sister.

Honestly, that is fine by me.

While I enjoyed my time with Prince Siranthen, I do not wish to do it often, or to repeat what has already seemed to happen twice. The memory of my desire to kill still burns a hole in me whenever it crosses my mind.

I have to remind myself he is my enemy. They all are. I cannot let myself get too close lest I hurt them.

It is better to stay away from the Prince.

For now, I will focus my powers on good. When I go to the Mage's Guild I will find the spell that can unbind me from Daroth and end these nightmarish thoughts. Yes. It's so simple.

Soon it will be all over.

 _It is never simple..._

I find it is once again comes my day to water the greenhouse plants.

Maren is busy making a poultice from the leaves I had gathered earlier that morning when I arrive and she and Reyna bid me a quick hello. We exchange pleasantries before I set to work watering the other plants and listening to whatever gossip she has picked up from the town as she shares it with Reyna.

Her gossip, while always wild and somewhat inaccurate, keeps me entertained. I find I like hearing about the court in this way. It makes me wonder what had been said about me in Irisidea. I have told myself I don't care what people had thought of me. Or think of me now for that matter.

I find I am wrong.

Today the topic catches my attention more than usual and I find myself affected personally.

"They say she ran away because of madness. That some evil had begun to possess her spirit since the passing of her father…"

I swallow and feel the color drain from my face.

 _It can't be._

Keeping my voice level I ask, "Who is this you speak of?"

"Why the Princess Namina from Irisidea" My eyes go wide. Everyone knows I am missing now it seems. Even the Gallens. After the dreams, I had expected Daroth to keep it quiet as long as possible so that he can try to hunt me himself without interference. It has been almost two months, and this is the first I hear of it. Unfortunately, if Maren is sharing it, it must be widespread.

Maren mistakes my fright as surprise and intrigue. She becomes excited as she continues.

My cheeks pale even more.

"I'm sure King Daroth is in pieces over her disappearance. My cousin's brother-in-law's sister is a laundress in Irisidea and she heard from one of the soldiers' wives there that King Daroth is doing everything in his power to find her. He's distraught! It seems he has been in love with the princess since he first laid eyes on her five years ago. I do hope they find the poor dear. She's probably running around wild the woods somewhere half-naked."

"Why would they think her crazy?" I ask.

She looks at me like I'm the one who is crazy.

 _Ironic really._

"Well because she was. There are rumors that she only ever interacted with animals in her menagerie."

Part of me almost yells that I had not just interacted with animals but that i merely enjoyed going to the menagerie. When friends are limited and your life is controlled by a psychopath, you end up spending a lot of time away from people.

Fortunately, I am smart enough to hold my tongue.

"And the newest rumors seem to be that she was not the virtuous little princess everyone thought she was. She apparently had been having an affair with the Head Advisor before they were even properly betrothed! Probably had a few courtesans at her beck and call as well from what I can gather. The whole Irisidean royal family was, shall we say, _loose_ in their morals. Everyone knows that."

"Slept with courtesans?!"

 _This is ridiculous_. _I may not be a virgin but I am no whore._

Reyna jumps in, twisting a piece of her red hair. "Either way, it's a good thing the honorable Advisor-King still wants her. With everyone knowing she's mad I suspect she would have a hard time finding a husband otherwise."

My hands shake as I water more plants.

 _Honorable Advisor-King my ass._

I go on the defensive "Well I don't believe it. I think she must of had good reason to run away."

Maren scoffs "Who would run away from riches and a beautiful man who wants you?"

 _Me_ , I think. _I would. Again even if I were faced with the decision once more._

"We don't know what she may have been going through. Maybe the Advisor is a cruel man. Maybe she felt trapped. There are a thousand possibilities."

Most of them correct.

The words fall on deaf ears.

Marin continues, adamant that she knows best: "From what I have heard, King Daroth is a kind and gentle ruler and he has risen through the ranks from near the bottom rung. He understands the people better than most, better than the Princess did I imagine. They even say he plans on sending some of his most trusted men to Galen to sign a peace treaty and officially end the tension between the two countries so that trade may begin again and so he may continue the search for her here."

 _What?!_

The watering pail falls from my hands and hits the ground with a metallic thud. Water splashes my skirts and soaks my legs but I hardly notice. Reyna and Maren turn to me in shock. I stare at nothing, my sight turns inward and I have to collect my racing thoughts.

Surely, Daroth doesn't know I am here in the capitol.

He can't know.

This is just a rumor.

"Are you alright?" Reyna asks.

I meet their gazes. "Yes. I'm so sorry!"

They look concerned. I bend down and pick up the pail.

"I'll go refill this" As I walk by, Reyna grabs the pail from me.

"You go clean up. I'll finish watering the herbs." She orders.

I place my fingers on one of my temples and shake my head.

"You've gone white as snow, Mina" Maren says in a voice barely above a whisper."And you're Parth!"

They must think me a sight, all startled and wide-eyed.

Carefully I school my features.

"I'm just tired and addlebrained that's all. I'm fine really."

Reyna becomes adamant. "No. You are not. Mina, take the rest of the day off. I'll tell Tasha. Go find Rhys if you need to. Just get out of the healing quarters. Maren, no more gossip."

Maren looks just as confused as I do. "But-"

"I can't blame Mina for being so terrified. I'm frightened at the prospect of dealing with Irisideans. The stories you hear are far-fetched anyhow, so please, lets not discuss them anymore."

"Yes, ma'am" she mumbles sarcastically and shoots me a look of irritation.

Reyna gestures me away.

"You! Out!"

I graciously stumble from the greenhouse and out into the courtyard.

I _need_ to clear my head.

The autumn sun instantly warms my shoulders and back as I walk around for a few minutes in no general direction, trying to let my thoughts gather.

 _It's not a secret anymore. Of course it's not. You'd think after nearly two months of being gone no one would say anything? Stupid girl..._ _But does he know where I am? He can't know. He isn't coming himself just yet. If he knew, he would personally see to retrieving me._

That one thought calms me slightly, but not enough.

Finding a spot in the shade of the castle, I sit against the wall and let myself breathe.

I find I'm near to hyperventilation. It takes a good five minutes for my pulse to slow.

I consider finding Rhys but then decide against it. I don't need him to fight my battles for me. Hell, this isn't even a battle. It's merely me getting overexcited by some idle gossip.

I decide instead to head back towards the healers quarters.

Maybe just a short nap will clear my head, and then I can go back and finish my shift.

Unfortunately, Rhys finds me before I reach the quarters.

"Mina!" I turn to the sound of my name to see him walking towards me, his hand up and waving to catch my attention. "Mina, wait up!"

 _Damn it._

He comes to my side.

"Hello, Rhys." I say almost dejectedly.

"I stopped by the greenhouse. Reyna said you left about ten minutes ago obviously troubled."

I keep walking. Maybe he will just disappear.

He doesn't.

Instead, I feel Rhys's large hand go around my upper arm and he pulls me to a stop.

"Mina" he says calmly. "What the hell is wrong?"

I can't answer. All I can think about is Daroth. How he has made a laughing stock of my reputation. How he probably knows exactly where I am and is biding his time.

It's as if all of the progress I have made in forgetting him has disappeared and he is right around the corner waiting for me to slip. I have regressed into the scared little girl I was when I ran.

Rhys doesn't let me leave.

"Lets go for a walk"

I concede. "Fine"

Rhys takes me out into the capitol and down a few streets I have never been to before letting go of my arm.

"Where are we going?"

"I need to buy something"

I look around. There are no shops. "Liar"

He sighs and looks down at me as if I were a child. "If we go somewhere you've never gone, you're less likely to run off and sulk."

 _True..._ "Now you're just being an ass"

"Something I pride myself in. You can have a long conversation with Anders when we go to the mage guild about it. He feels the exact same way."

I snort. "I wonder why."

"Now, now. Be careful there, Mina. You're the one always throwing a fit and running off every time something goes wrong."

 _Ouch._ I flinch visably.

"Sorry" he says half-heartedly. While I don't think he means to insult me, the words ring true to him. And to me if I think about it.

I'm always running.

Always in some sort of mood.

 _I_ am _a child._

Rhys continues "Now what has you scared senseless this time? Reyna mentioned a rumor about Irisideans. Surely some search for a crazy princess isn't what has you this way."

I nearly growl in frustration. "Can everyone please stop talking about the Princess of Irisidea? It's slightly irritating how much they berate her."

"It seems to be the talk of the country right now. A mad princess with no morals wild in the woods somewhere."

"No morals?" I throw my hands in the air. "Not you, too!"

"Well, she's apparently not a virgin" He says as if it makes perfect since.

"So what if she isn't a virgin? When has virginity dictated the good or bad in a person? And people make mistakes, Rhys. Its called living. You should know." I chide.

He holds up his hands in defense and raises his brow

"You seem awfully defensive of the Princess."

I fully turn on him now, bringing us to a stop. Rhys must see the answer in my face because he looks at me with concern.

"That's because I can empathize with her" I sigh.

 _I am her after all._

Confusion shows. "You mean you aren't…?"

"No, Rhys. I'm not. I've tumbled more than a time or two. I gave everything to my betrothed before he betrayed me. I was young and stupid but I don't think that making love to someone should diminish my worth as a person. I have a lot more to give."

I'm on a roll now.

The words fly out from my lips with a fervor I didn't realize I had.

They dull the fear from earlier and I let them soar.

"And since when has it been a woman's duty to keep herself pure but men are able to go flouncing about with any whore they lay eyes on and still be seen as the heroes they imagine themselves to be? Its wrong! A whore is seen as that: a whore! But the man who beds her is just fulfilling a need before he goes on his way."

"Are all Parth women of the same mind?" He asks

I honestly don't know. "Some."

He looks at me for a long , contemplating, before saying, "I know you are right. Though I wouldn't go telling everyone about your lack of virtue. Keep it to yourself. Gallen folk wouldn't see it your way."

I narrow my eyes at him, confused. _He_ is Gallen.

"But you do?"

Rhys ignores my stare, "I've honestly never really thought against our societies' rules but having you tell me what you just did, I think I can see where you are coming from. You of all people should not be cast out for loving your betrothed anymore than I should be for taking a woman to my bed. At least you were certain you were with the one you loved. I just needed a release the many times I did it."

I marvel at his candor.

"What?" He asks.

"I'm sorry. I'm just in shock that you took my opinion to heart."

That never happened in Irisidea.

"Why not? You are as able bodied and courageous as any soldier I know. Maybe a little dense when it comes to some simple things like bartering and manners but overall you are bright and strong, Mina. I value your opinion"

"You have to bring up bartering!" I bark good-naturedly. Then I sober.

In the time we have been talking we have ended up sitting on a nearby bench. I trace the woodgrain of the seat with my fingertips.

"Is that what had you in a mood?" Rhys asks.

"No! Yes. Well, I don't know. There are a lot of things going on right now and it's just all too much for me to process."

"You know you can still talk to me if you want to. I've been told I'm a wonderful listener."

I laugh. "I'm sure you are. I'm just not ready yet. Soon. Just not yet"

"Well I'm here when you are. And next time you run off and scare poor Maren and Reyna, let me know."

Gods he was so good to me. "Thank you."

"No. Thank you. You've made life around this dung heap interesting." Rhys smiles conspiratorially "Now tell me about this afternoon you had with the prince? I've heard _rumors_ …"

I punch him in the arm.

.

A few days later, I am with Tasha in the infirmary when I find myself helping out Ren, Rhys's friend and fellow soldier. An accident between the two friends on on the training grounds had left him with a broken leg that needed to be set. While Tasha and Renya had healed it, I was in charge of follow up before letting him go back to training. He had stayed overnight due to the pain.

While he had been out, I had yelled at Rhys, who had only stood there laughing. Yes, he did feel bad for breaking his best friend's leg, but no he did not feel any shame that he beat him.

 _Typical Rhys._

"How are you feeling?" I ask Ren, laying a hand on his shoulder. The Vinerath man smiles up at me

"So you've heard? Much better. Captian Garron pushed us a little harder than he should have in training. I'm sure you've heard."

"Yes. And next time, don't let Rhys have the upper hand. I still can't believe you broke your leg in a sparring match with him." I glance at the clipboard in my hands. "You said the leg was still bothering you?"

"Healer Tasha healed it yesterday but I think something in my muscle is still torn. It's stiff and red."

"May I look?" I ask as I begin to already pull his pant leg up. Before I get a good look however, a wave of dizziness passes over me unlike anything I have felt before.

My head starts to swim and everything darkens. My limbs go weak and I grasp the edge of Ren's bed. The clipboard clatters to the ground.

Ren jumps in surprise. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just give me a moment" I hold out a hand to stop him from reaching toward me.

Everything becomes blurry around the edges. I reach down for the clipboard but am racked with a bout of nausea. It is all I can do not to collapse.

"I-I think I'm going to lay down for just a moment. I'll be back," I whisper.

"Healer Tasha" Ren calls over my shoulder "I think Healer Mina needs some assistance"

"I'll be right there. Hold on, I just have to finish healing this woman." she calls.

I can't speak anymore and I fear if I let go of the bed frame I will fall. I can only try to hold on to what little consciousness I have left.

With a jolt I realize what is happening to me.

Dread fills me even as I lose what sense I have.

I am being pulled between two worlds.

"Mina?!" A voice cries out. Tasha maybe. I can no longer distinguish.

 _This cant be…its daytime…_

Ren reaches out to help steady me but I sink to my knees, out of his reach. "Mina!"

I feel hands underneath my arms hold me up before I fall completely to the ground. I do not know whom they belong to.

I want to thank them but I cannot.

Try as I might, I cannot stop myself from being pulled under and into another dream. Try as I might, I still come face to face with Daroth.

* * *

 **Also before I reposted this story, Caroline Lily-ann Youla shared the cover of "Every Breath you Take" by Chase Holfelder (its pretty much the epitome of Daroth and Mina's relationship at this point in time and super creepy in the minor key. I love it) Feel free to look it up!**

 **I'll share Mina's song later on because it would give too much away right now :)**

 **SO if you've noticed, sometimes I give away a lot in these authors notes. Thats because I can't help myself haha! Heres one for you:**  
 **Within the next few chapters Mina and Rhys will go to the Mage's Guild. You will meet Rhys's brother, find out more about Rhys (I'll share his inspiration song then) and about the Mages Vow Mina took (the flashback will be within the next few chapters as well)**

 **Well thats enough for now :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Short chapter. A nice little Daroth/Namina dream-interaction for you.**

* * *

When I enter the vision, I no longer feel weak.

Daroth stands in my room, watching me.

I take his lean form in as he leans against the empty fireplace, arms crossed. He is still as handsome as the day I had met him. He wears the colors of Irisidea, black and gold, with a blood red cape to finish the look off. With King Signor's circlet sitting on his brow, he looks every bit a King. A slow smile graces his lips.

"Enjoying the view are you?"

I scowl, pulled back from my observances.

He must be in a better mood then. My small victory is a thing of the past in his mind.

"Not much to enjoy, really" I bite. He tsks at me.

"I thought I had stopped the visions."

He smiles. "You've stopped nothing. I've merely bided my time. Sorry for the inconvenience of the vision. I seem to not be able to reach you at night." I ignore the very true accusation and the sarcasm it is laced in.

 _Thank you, Maren._

Looking around at the familiar surroundings I ask "So did you decide to conjure me up in my rooms for a purpose or is it all chance? I much preferred the gardens"

He shrugs "The locations matters less than reaching you, but yes, I am able to choose. You're less likely to run off in your own room with the only exit behind me. But If I could, I'd visit you where you are" He uncrosses his arms and takes a step towards me.

I hold my ground.

I will not be frightened.

"Unfortunately, you wont be granted that opportunity. I like my space from you."

"I remember a time when you didn't." he teases.

It stings.

I remember it too. I think back to the times before the vow, when I still thought he had loved me. I had been a love-sick puppy at the beck and call of her master. But I had felt needed. Especially when we had met up together…

"Thinking of our secret meetings?"

"Are you reading my mind?" fear slithers into and through the words. If he can read my mind, he might be able to learn where I am.

He laughs. "I wish I could, Namina, but unfortunately for me, you are just easy to read. You always were. I do miss those meetings, however. They were quite fun."

"Fun would not be the word I would use to describe them. Though neither would the word romantic work now that I know the truth"

"You found them romantic did you? How quaint! Would you like to know my take on our romance? I can show you here. You could see it all." He stands right in front of me now, offering me his hand.

"You once asked if I loved you. Here is the answer," he whispers in my ear.

What are his intentions?

To win me back?

To scare me?

 _Blast, but I am curious._

I take his hand and the world flips upside-down:

 _The younger me stands in the middle of the council room, wrapped in Daroth's arms. She giggles at something he had said and blushing, takes his cheek in her hand and kisses him full on the lips. He smiles and returns the kiss._

 _A knock on the door startles the couple and the younger me jumps back slightly._

 _I watch as she gives Daroth another kiss, fixes her clothes and then walked to the door, stately and as elegantly as she can muster. She is fooling no one I realize. The door opens to reveal my uncle, King Signor. He smiles at me, a rare occurrence, and then looks past me towards Daroth. I can't hear the conversation but I remember it._

 _My uncle asks what I am doing alone with Daroth and I reply that I have been having trouble with one of my tutor's assignments on politics and had asked the Advisor for his opinion._

 _He sends me on my way and I watch my younger self leave them, heading off to her rooms to daydream like some imbicile._

 _Now comes the opportunity to see what had happened after I left._

 _My uncle strides into the room._

 _"She is enamored with you, Advisor Daroth" King Signor smiles wider, his features hinting at a good joke._

 _"Yes, she does fancy me, sire. Things are going as planned" he bows_

 _"Continue to woo her. Do what you must; her virtue is no concern of mine. After she takes the vow to you, use her. We need you to be at your best."_

 _"She has a strong soul."_

 _"Too strong. It will be nice to have her under control."_

 _"Yes Sire" comes the response. The king scrutinizes his advisor._

 _"Do you like her?"_

 _Daroth seems to ponder on that a bit longer than is necessary before replying, "I find her appealing."_

 _"Appealing, eh?"_

 _"Yes, Sire. Very appealing"_

 _"That is enough. Do not let it become more. I just worry you might end up feeling something for her and change your mind about our deal."_

 _"The only thing I desire is to serve my king and my country" Something in his face hints that is a lie, but not on any account of my honor._

 _He had had other plans._

 _More sinister plans._

 _"I have to say, Advisor, your idea at having her take the vow to you is cunning. I commend you on your studies for finding such ancient knowledge."_

 _"Thank you, my king."_

 _There is a moment of terse silence as the two men stand in the room. Looking in from the outside I know that both men have dark secrets they are keeping from the other. Other plans that better suit their needs than the one that they are in together._

 _Daroth bows._

 _"My King, if I may have your leave, there are a few items of court business I would like to take care of before the council meeting this evening"_

 _King Signor just waves a hand in the air to send him off as he walks past Daroth,_

 _"Yes, yes, see to it son. Just remember your part of the agreement as you 'court' my niece."_

MY vision swims and I am back in my room with Daroth still gripping my hand.

He smiles softly. "I have only ever wanted to make a difference in the world. Power is my way of doing that. You and I are not so different, little bird. You only have to see that for yourself. And you are still so very appealing to me..." His smile turns into a smirk, almost as if he is afraid that too much kindness towards me might soften his heart.

If he even has one.

"You tell me what I already know, sir." I say clipped tone.

What had I been hoping for? For him to tell me that he had at once longed for me more than he had led on?

"Yes but I enjoy reminding you. You know what happened next. I courted you for your power this much is true, but you had blossomed into quite the woman. After the vow was made, I came to desire you more. I wanted to possess you fully. I still do."

My insides churn and I pull my hand from his. "That is not love."

"That is not the point. I get what I want."

"So I am an object to you, a collectable."

"Of a sort, yes. But you are also a challenge to solve, a wild creature to tame, a beautiful woman to have at my beck and call. It may not be love, but it is all you will ever get, Namina. You are a tainted soul after all."

 _How dare he._ "You've no right to call me that. It is your doing that I am this way"

"You were the dagger. I am nearly the guiding hand. I feel no shame. The tainting is yours to enjoy."

He paces around me as he continues ripping me apart verbally.

"And I'm not the one with the reputation sullied. It was unfortunate that the world found out about your moral indiscretions, you being the Princess and all."

I snarl.

So it _had_ been him who had given us away.

"Do you realize how boring these meetings of ours are getting? All you do is tell me how much you want me back. All I do is fight you. Maybe it is time to end them once and for all."

Daroth continues, ignoring my remark, "There is something that I have been thinking about since our last meeting. You know, where you so graciously dashed away. You said that I have no real power over you. I think you will find that to be a lie. You may have felt my influence already?"

That day with the prince was no coincidence then. I had sensed Daroth's desire to see the Galen royals' dead… "I feel nothing."

"Don't lie, Namina. It isn't becoming. I know you've felt it. Even with you so far away our bond grows. You will begin to lust for power the same as I do. One of these days you _will_ realize that we are not as different as you might think. "

"I hate you."

Daroth cups my chin. "I don't care what you feel. Hate me, loathe me, curse my every breath, but do it at my side and fully under my control."

I nearly roll my eyes as I spit out my retort.

"Fickle words for someone who can only reach me in dreams"

I feel the biting pain flare across my face before I register that he has struck me.

"You think you can hide forever, but you cannot. I will find you and when I do I will make you suffer for running away. Oh yes, you will suffer." His furious words and the slap have the opposite affect on me. I am more enraged and obstinate as ever.

 _Maybe we are the same: angry, stubborn, power hungry, revenge driven..._

"Do what you want, Daroth. You cannot hurt me further!"

His eyes narrow as if making my words into a personal challenge. I shiver at the thought.

"We will see about that." the words are gravelly and dark.

With a flick of his hand, the vision cuts off.


	19. Chapter 19

**_Well, I might as well post this now. I think I'll just do a once a month update of several chapters. It seems to work better with my schedule and the way I write._**

 ** _Another flashback for Mina before she wakes up from her dream. Hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

 ** _._**

 ** _One Year and Seven Months Before_**

A few days after Daroth asked me to take the vow, he told me when and where we would do it.

The night we were to take the vow, I could not stay calm. The anticipation and nervousness ate at me bit by bit until I was only a bundle of anxiety.

 _Deep breaths, Namina._

 _You want this._

The early spring air nipped at my ankles as I walked through the deserted palace hallways. The bell tower in the gardens had just rung its midnight song when I had left my rooms.

Loitering soldiers and courtesans making their way back to their own chambers after visiting their patrons eyed me suspiciously. I ignored them and told myself I didn't care what they thought of me.

 _A five-minute walk to the ballroom_ , I told myself. _That's all this is._

I clutched the robe over my sleeveless nightgown tighter to my chest and quickened my pace.

When I reached the hall with the ballroom I paused. Two guards, dressed fully in black, stood on either side of the ballroom doors. They looked like any other palace guard except that they were missing the hints of gold in their uniforms. While it startled me, it did not frighten me. My pace became near a crawl as I made my way toward them. Would they stop me? Send me back to my rooms? Wake my father?

Soon, I stood in front of them. They stared over my shoulder, not even acknowledging me. I glanced between them. The doors were slightly ajar and I could spy Daroth as he stood on the far side of the room with a small bag in his hands, his silhouette illuminated from behind in the swatch of moonlight that fell from the glass windows overlooking one of the many lakes around the palace.

He looked a lot calmer than I felt. Seeing him that way helped ease some of my anxiety. The guards must be his.

They paid me no mind as I glided in as quietly as I could and ran the last several yards to his side, my slippered feet muffling the noise. The echo of the doors shutting caused me to flinch as I slid my hand into Daroth's.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here" I whispered and looked out to the gardens. A few lanterns bobbed back and forth as gardeners made their way through their designated areas to trim, prune, and polish my uncle's favorite place.

Blood pulsed through my ears in a deafening manner. It was too quiet.

While I was more than ecstatic to go through with the vow, I did not know what it entailed.

He looked around to make sure we were surely alone before he addressed me in a normal tone.

"I safeguarded this room with a few old spells I learned in Renor. No one will come here or even hear anything that goes on. No need to whisper, little bird."

I nodded.

He smiled and pulled me away from the window. "Come here"

We made our way to the center of the room underneath a large diamond chandelier. It twinkled in the pale blue moonlight and the cast thrown from the crystal reminded me oddly of stars. Multi-colored stars. It was beautiful in an eerie sort of way.

Daroth pulled me down to the floor until we were both kneeling in front of one another.

"Are the guards yours?" I asked.

"They are a new regiment of your Uncle's named the Black Guard. Trained to be much more intense and less susceptible to fear or sympathy. For brutal war tactics when the time calls for it. I managed to bribe a few for tonight's purposes." The knowledge causes a queasiness in me but I knew not if it were because they were ruthless soldiers or that they were easily bribable.

Daroth seemed to not notice my uneasiness. I watched as he sat the burlap sack down and pulled out an old looking tome and an intricate knife.

I observed the knife with caution. While it was a beautiful thing, the hilt a woven pattern of golden metal and small rubies, the blade looked razor sharp and glinted coldly in his hand. "Do we…?"

"Only a shallow cut on our palms, Princess." He answered the question I had yet to ask. I gulped.

"This blade is of ancient making: Millenia old and forged by the hand of the highest order of Venerath Elementalists when Mage's ruled the lands and the Gods visited in the flesh."

I marveled at such a piece of history. "Shouldn't it belong in a temple then?"

There were only two temples still standing: one in the deep Western forests of Irisidea along the Soul Mountain range and one in the center of Venerath in the middle of a large lake.

Daroth smiled conspiratorially "Where do you think I got it?" I put a hand in front of my mouth to stifle a giggle. "You didn't!"

He smiled wider. "Only the best for my little bird. The binding does not take long, but I wanted to do it somewhere secluded so that we may not be bothered, hence the guards. We will take turns in our vows, I going first." He lifted the knife and ran it across his palm. "Not a deep cut." he informed me "The knife is also extremely sharp. Do not press down or might you slice your royal fingers off"

The joke wasn't funny.

"Now lay down."

I did as he asked, my long brown hair spreading out on the floor. I imagined it looked a lot like blood in this light, spilling from me. The thought made me shiver.

 _So imaginative tonight, Namina. Calm yourself._

Daroth brought his cut hand down until it rested right underneath my collarbone. The warmth of his blood chilled the rest of me and caused gooseflesh on my arms.

"Now each of us will place our hands on each other's chests and speak the words from this book." he tapped it with his free hand. "Then, the blood will bind our souls together. Are you ready?"

I looked into his eyes, those blue eyes I loved so much and said a little breathily, "I am"

 _I trust you._

Daroth nodded in determination and stroked my cheek before pressing down on my chest a little harder. His words filled me.

" _Flesh to flesh, blood to blood, magic to magic, for all time and in all ways. You to I and I to you. Our souls entwined our will to do_." I gasped as I felt a tug from deep within and Daroth's hand was illuminated in a cool blue light. The color of my magic. Of my soul, I realized.

After a few moments, the light dissipated and Daroth lifted his hand. I knelt up.

"But I feel no different." I breathed. I felt no different but I knew something had changed.

"The change is subtle at first. Over time the bond will grow and our access to one another with become unbreakable."

Daroth opened his tunic a little wider to reveal his upper chest to me.

"You've got this Namina" Daroth said with a smile as he lay down in front of me. I took a deep breath and lifted the knife.

"I can do this" I pulled the blade lightly across my skin and winced at the biting pain. Small beads of blood appeared along the cut. I clenched my fist before placing it on Daroth's now bare chest.

Glancing at the book in front of me, I read the lines that Daroth had shown me, my finger dragging below the words and causing the paper to crinkle slightly. Just as before, a light appeared, but this time it was a vibrant purple. Daroth flinched slightly. My hand tingled as I held it against his chest. I found I could feel his soul _moving_ beneath my fingers. His very life source. It was _breathtaking_.

"Did you feel it too?" The wonderment in my eyes matched my words.

"Yes. Marvelous is it not?" he grinned up at me as the light faded and we were left in the dark of the ballroom.

All was silent but for our labored breathing. I glanced at Daroth's chest and realized my blood was no longer there. Nor was there any on my chest. The only sign I had ever cut myself was a thin white scar on my hand. One that would stay the rest of my life.

"We did it!" I cried.

Daroth sat up and pulled me into his arms. "We did. You were wonderful, Princess."

As we met eyes, something happened. I felt a pull to him that hadnt been there before. Daroth must have felt it too, for he seemed off-put for a moment, as if he had not been expecting such a draw to occur. We stared at one another for a tense minute. Then, without warning, he seized my lips and lowered me back down as we kissed passionately on the floor of the empty ballroom, our souls becoming more united by each touch.

.

 ** _One Year and Six Months Before_**

After we had made the vow, our passion only grew.

I found myself relishing even deeper the small moments we could escape and find one another to join body and soul.

At first, Daroth seemed hesitant to it all, almost like he hadn't expected the increase in desire, but soon, he became even more willing than I was. He grew hungry for our times together and would find any excuse to be alone with me. It only made sense. We were connected in soul now. Our pleasure was shared. He could tap into my soul for strength and power and I could rely on his for the same. Of course, he had much more control of the bond than I did. Daroth informed me it was due to his power as a Soul Mage.

"I merely have more knowledge and experience dealing with the soul. One day soon you may be able to use my own soul for your own," he would say. "Our powers will intermingle with time"

I had believed him.

"I want to try something." Daroth said one evening. "Lay down."

I laughed with delight and did as I was told. Daroth sat beside me and placed a hand right below my breast at my ribcage. He looked at me with a playful smirk.

"And what pray tell do you have in mind?" I asked, unable to hide the grin that graced my features.

"I want to try drawing power from your soul directly from the source." I nodded excitedly, wondering what it would feel like for my soul mage to touch my very soul. He already had my heart, my soul would be his without question.

While we shared some of our magic with one another, it was usually through joined hands. This would be interesting.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes. Go ahead."

Daroth pressed lightly on my ribcage creating a small but not uncomfortable pressure. For a few moments I just laid there, waiting. Then something within me shifted and released. The feeling was like being jolted forward though my body hadn't moved at all. My head spun and my hands shook slightly. Energy began to drain from me but not like it had when I had healed others. This was deeper. This was my very life source.

"Daroth?" I said, my voice becoming slower, my words slurred.

A small panic had started making its way up my throat. I wanted to scream but no sound would come. Daroth noticed the panic in my eyes.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm almost done." He leaned down and kissed my lips. I nodded and gave a small smile, letting the dizziness wash over me and accepting it fully. While the panic still laced my mind, I trusted him. I let his surety soothe me.

With one last bit of pressure, he released me. I sat up and instantly fell into him, unable to support myself. My head rested on his chest.

"That was…" I began, looking up at Daroth's face.

His eyes were on his hand and he looked positively entranced. I noticed the lack of a scar from our vow taking. Mine still shown as white as the day we had made the vow. He must have been a fast healer.

"… Incredible" he finished.

I shook my head, pushing his hand down and entwining my fingers in his. "I was going to say not what I expected. I'm so weak now"

Daroth looked down at me. "I've read about the connection we have and knew that this might have been possible but to experience it is something different. I just pulled part of your soul's energy into me. A more direct path to the power source."

My strength started returning bit by bit.

I huffed "Are the side effects permanent? I feel as if my head is stuffed with feathers."

"No" he rubbed my arm as he spoke. "You will gain back your strength and heal yourself while I will have a boost in power for a short amount of time. I believe the more power I take the longer it will last."

"Can other connected mages do this?" I marveled.

"I don't believe so. I am a soul mage and one of only a few so not too many people have the potential to begin with. With you being a strong healer mage and your life being tied with mine now, I can syphon your own power without killing you."

"But that's soul sorcery!" I started. "Daroth you're not saying-"

"I'm saying that I have the ability of a soul sorcerer, yes. But I will not kill victims for their souls. I wouldn't need to with you, and with the way I am feeling from just lightly brushing your soul I believe your power in me would be exponential."

"Do be careful." I admonished. "I'll gladly give you power but don't let it corrupt you."

He smiled and kissed me while I still lay in his arms.

"Never my bird. Never"

Like a fool I believed every word and let him bathe me in caresses and empty promises. Life was ignorant bliss for a good four months after the joining. He drew power from my life-source twice more in that time. It was only until I started seeing past the passion that I realized how corrupt Daroth was becoming and exactly what he was using this power for. And it was only after confronting him that I learned just how stupid of a girl I had become.

* * *

 **Thank you guys for reading and reviewing. It means the world to me!**

 **Hopefully I'll be able to keep giving you a story you enjoy.**


	20. Chapter 20

**So this story is now over 50,000 words long. WHAT?!**  
 **Anyway, new chapter. They finally make it to the Guild and see Anders again. Tevlin (Rhy's younger brother) will pop up next chapter. And then within the next, say, five or six chapters the story will take a drastic turn. I'm excited...**

* * *

"Mina? Mina!" I inhale sharply and open my eyes to see several people. Tasha and Rhys kneel beside me. Ren leans off his bed behind them, his face twisted in worry. A few other patients glance toward us as well.

"I fell," I say dumbly.

Rhys pulls me to my feet.

"One minute Ren was saying you needed help. The next, I turn around and you are dropping to the ground out cold! You scared us. Are you ill? Shall I get something for you?" Tasha inquires.

I shake my head "No. No need. I think whatever happened has passed"

I know it has passed, but I wont explain how I know this.

Rhys's eyebrows narrow together and his voice gains a sharp edge "What happened to your cheek?"

I gingerly touch my face to find it sore. Daroth's hand it seems found its mark.

"I hit it on the bed as I fell" I lie. Ren looks puzzled. Rhys just stares at me.

No one seems to believe me.

There is a terse moment of silence.

"Well…" Tasha interrupts, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm glad you are okay." She gives a half-smile and walks away.

"Thank you" I say to Rhys and move to follow her. He stops me with his arm.

"We need to talk," he says sternly.

"It's okay Rhys. I just fell."

Rhys glances over to Ren who hold up his hands.

"Don't look at me. I didn't cause this."

"Did she injure herself in the fall?" he asks

I beg Ren silently to say yes.

He doesn't get the message.

"No. She fell to the ground and Tasha caught her at the last second. She seemed fine then"

"I'm right here, gentlemen. I have a name" I interject. Rhys ignores me.

"No bruising?"

Ren shakes his head and stares at me with concern.

"None. I mean I didn't notice any. Not until she awoke"

The attention is brought fully back on me. "Mina" Rhys starts.

"Rhys" I return in the same forceful tone.

"We are going to go for a walk and you are going to tell me what is going on. Then, we are going to get either Reyna or Tasha to heal your cheek. Do you understand?"

I feel like a scolded dog. It angers me but all my fight is gone after facing Daroth.

"Fine." I sharply reply.

.

"Ouch"

I suck in breath.

Rhys removes his hand from my face. We sit on the floor of the shed we practice in. The wind has grown bitter and howls around us as if trying to get in. Luckily, this shed is built for sturdiness.

"Why were you even in the infirmary?" I ask him.

"To apologize for the twenty-seventh time to Ren. When I walked in, the infirmary was in an uproar and Tasha was sitting beside Ren's bed with you cradled in her arms. You woke up mere seconds after that. Tasha said you had been out for about ten minutes."

Without moving his eyes from the mark he says, "Talk"

"There is nothing to say." the obstinacy I feel fastens to the words.

The look I receive from them makes me almost want to laugh.

Almost.

"There is _a lot_ for you to say. When I first met you, you were trying to steal from the King's army. Everything since then has been suspicious. You have night terrors, you have little knowledge of what should be common, you startle at every sound and every new face, and now you faint and end up with a peculiar bruise across your face. I told myself I could wait for answers, but this? I see it in your eyes when it happens. I don't know what _it_ is, but I know something is off about you, Mina. I'm done waiting. Tell me. Now."

I bite my lip. Part of me wants to tell him.

A bigger part of me doesn't.

The bigger part wins.

I open my mouth to spout out some excuse when Rhys interjects.

"And don't give me the normal bullshit. If these things somehow have to deal with your betrothed, that's fine. But I want answers, not cryptic nonsense you think will pacify me. "

Ha.

He knows me well.

"I'll tell you some." I give in. This seems to satisfy him.

"I want the whole truth eventually, you know."

I smile ruefully. "Yes. I know that. But I'm afraid I cannot give it at this time."

It takes a good while for me to gather enough nerve to speak.

Rhys patiently waits.

As I speak I trace the white scar on my palm.

"It has to do with the man I was going to marry. Like I told you on the way to the Capitol, he is a powerful mage. A soul sorcerer actually."

I wait for a reaction. Rhys barely moves, just stares intently at me.

"Go on" he prods.

"He magically haunts my dreams. I ran away the night before the wedding and ever since then, he has wanted me back." I am careful not to give anything away that might peg me as the Irisidean heir. I leave out the date of the wedding or who Daroth is or the real reason he wants me back.

"I started taking a potion Maren made for me to block the dreams. It worked, but my…he…he found away around it. He pulled me into a dream in the middle of the day. That is why I passed out." I point to my cheek. "We argued and he struck me."

I silently marvel at how calm I am talking about Daroth. Not only weeks before I would have been a shaking mess. The levelheadedness that I have obtained thus far in speaking is surprising.

"Who is he? Do you know where he is now?" Rhys asks

"It matters not. If he can only reach me in dreams, I can deal with him on my own."

That's not enough for him. "Mina, seriously" He says unsympathetically.

"I said I would tell you some. That is not part of it." He nods in terse acceptance but I know the prying is not over for good.

Another inquiry for another time.

"May I be so bold as to ask why he wants you so badly?"

I swallow "No."

Rhys blinks slowly, the only sign of emotion.

"Okay" he says calmly. "Well, you have told me nothing."

It takes everything I have to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry but I can't. Physically I can't make myself do it. It's still too much." my voice grates against the back of my throat.

I have reached my bravery barrier.

Rhys says nothing for a long time. The absence of anger, of sympathy, hell, of anything is killing me. Not as much as it would if he knew the truth. If he knew what a monster I was.

I grip my skirts in my hands to keep them from shaking.

"I'm tired of all this."

 _I'm also terrified that the vow is beginning to taint my soul. I'm going dark_ , I think, but I refuse to say it out loud. That will only make it more real.

"Why has it been so important for you not to tell anyone?" Rhys asks. The first sign of emotion appears within him: Sadness. Lined with exasperation.

I sigh, "You wouldn't understand. And the way you think of me will change. You'll hate me."

"Mina." He says the name with such softness as he takes a shaking hand in his own and it stills. "You are not the only one with a past they'd rather forget. Tomorrow, when we go to the Mage's Guild, you will find out more about my past than I am frankly willing or wanting to share, but I am doing this because I care about you. I have trust that after you know what a fool I was growing up, what a fool I still am, that you will still be my friend. Can you not have the same trust in me?"

His words are like a knife, peeling away the layers of my heart. I want to let him in, but I _just cant._

"I just need time."

He pats my hand and sighs, obviously frustrated but trying his best to hide the fact.

"I know. And I won't encroach on the subject anymore, unless something like this happens again, but I just hope you understand that whatever happened with that man, I don't care. I only care about how I might be able to help you through it."

"I am sorry."

"No. You aren't" He is right.

Again.

He continues, "But I guess that's okay. It's frustrating as hell, yes, but okay. You will come to me and tell me when you are ready?"

"Yes. Of course, Rhys." I know the words are not a lie. I will tell him when I am ready. "I trust you"

Rhys laughs. "That reminds me, I spoke with Tasha a few days ago and she informed me that you don't think as high of her as she would like"

I blanch. "What?"

"Something about always running to me to fix your problems. Okay, so those are my words…" he corrects at my fury, "but she did mention how she wishes you had more reliance on her as well. All the other healers are trying to do is reach out to you but you don't ever say anything unless directly asked."

I think back to how I interact with the others. I acknowledge them when they are around and smile every once in a while. Is the lack of talking bad? I thought I _was_ being friendly.

"Rhys Farrowslake, you have a special talent for making me feel low."

"I do what I can."

"I don't know why I trust you as much as I do, but I just haven't formed this kind of a bond with Tasha or Maren or anyone. It's not that I don't try, Rhys. They just don't approach me."

"Do you even know how to try?" he shoots me a pointed look.

"No." I mumble under my breath.

"Well, it's like bartering"

I scoff at his words.

"Really. You have to put in equal value of what you want to get out. If you try to cut a deal too sharply, you won't get what you are bartering for. In this case: friends. Be nice, ask how they are doing, and just talk. Do something other than just go about your duties in sad silence. There's a reason everyone is too afraid to approach you, Mina. You just aren't approachable."

I mull over his words, tasting the truth in them.

"You're right." I concede.

"I'm always right. You of all people should know that."

I smirk "Don't push your luck, Farrowslake. I'm giving you this one."

Rhys laughs and then stands to go, pulling me up with him. "And I am honored by it. See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Tomorrow"

He opens the door to the shed and the wind pushes its way into the little warmth that has gathered.

"What a chill! Well, I'll meet you at the door of the workroom at eight. Bring your cloak. It's getting colder now that its late autumn."

"Eight. Got it"

.

That evening I resume my duties and finish my shift in the infirmary. What should have taken me only a few hours takes longer due to my "break."

The others have long gone when I bid the longer termed patients goodnight and head to hang my smock in the workroom. That's when I find them all: Percy, Renald, Tasha, Maren, and Reyna, sitting around the wooden table in the center of the room, talking and playing with cards.

"Hello Mina" Percy greets me as I enter without looking up. His fingers thrum an uneven rhythm as he looks at his cards.

I smile. "Hello. Everyone"

A quick nod and a few vocal affirmations of a hello and they turn back to their game. I reach over to grab my feather cloak and head back to the sleeping quarters but my hand pauses in mid air. This could be an opportunity to socialize. I could let the others know that I'm willing to make friends now. Should I?

I should. My hand fists.

I _should_ really take Rhys's advice to heart.

 _Damn him._

Sighing, I let my hand drop and turn back to the small group of my co-workers.

Tasha looks at me in utter astonishment as I pull an empty chair between her and Percy.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Reyna's and Maren's smiles look as if they will spit their faces. Tasha just gapes.

"I don't see why not," Renald says as he runs a hand through his blond hair. He seems frustrated.

"Maren just beat us all and we are about to start a new round. Maybe with you here, one of us will have a higher chance of beating her. It's killing me."

"You're just jealous" Maren says with a sparkle in her eyes. "Now deal the rest of us in"

I laugh and I find I don't even have to force it.

This is nice.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Do you feel better?" Tasha leans over and asks me. Her expression is one of sympathy but also one of confusion. This is the first I've ever done more than simple work.

 _Make friends_. I smile.

"Very much, thank you." She gives me a quick grin and picks up her cards. I do the same, but before I glance at what I have in my hand, I decide its time to take things a step further. A quick prayer and a bite to my lip and I speak.

"So…" Everyone looks up at me. A tentative smile graces my lips.

 _Here goes nothing._

"How was everyone's day?"

.

"I did it!" I cry happily as I pull my cloak tighter.

"Did what?" Rhys wears a cloak of his own, deep blue and lined with fur: a standard issue of the Kings Guard.

"Talked to them?" he laughs. We pass the gates of the castle and head out into the city. The grey sky looks pregnant with snow but so far we are lucky in not seeing anything more than a few flurries. The chill in the air is revitalizing in its crispness.

"Well I'm proud of you. And how did _talking_ work out for you?" he teases. I don't care if he finds this amusing. I am actually proud of myself despite his playful taunts. If he only knew what I had been before he had caught me in the forest, he would be proud too. My social skills are growing little by little.

"Well, I learned that Reyna and Tasha haven't always gotten along. And Renald loves to hunt. And Maren is Percy's granddaughter! Who knew?"

"Ha! I could have told you about Tasha and Reyna. You should have heard them growing up! Like cats! And the hair pulling! Gods it was a miracle they graduated alive."

His laughter warms me up and adds a skip to my step.

His brown eyes sparkle with humor as he takes me in. The glance seems to last a bit longer than normal.

"Well you are in a good mood this morning"

"I am. I've made an effort to make friends, had a restful night of sleep, and now I get to go to the Mage's guild and learn more about magic. What could be better?" I sound like a child given free reign in a sweet shop. I don't know what it is that makes this morning so joyous but I don't care. Yesterday's troubles are a far off memory. Today is for enjoying.

"It isn't all that exciting. I swear it was the best day of my life when I graduated! Eight years ago last month, actually." He muses.

 _Eight years ago_. I rack my brain for a moment, trying to remember what that means… Anyone who trains in the guild has graduation on his or her seventeenth birthday. I do the quick math in my head. That means that Rhys is barely twenty-five. He is younger than I had originally guessed, but not by much.

"So you simply forgot to tell me it was your birthday last month. Must have slipped your mind or something." I chide.

"That's because I don't celebrate birthdays. They are for children and the Elderly. I'll let you know when I turn fifty and then we can start reveling in my age once more. You can buy me a cane I can use to best you with in our sparring."

Ha! "Fine! Then I won't tell you mine!"

"But you're still a child, Mina. We have to celebrate your birthday. Thirteen is it? Or will you be fourteen?" I playfully slap his shoulder.

"Don't patronize me sir guard. I'll be twenty-one in a few months."

He purses his lips and places and finger to them. "Ah, so you are a child of spring"  
" _Early_ spring…" I correct

"It is still spring. A child of hope and love! Wholly you!" He teases. I bite my lip as I smile. Well, If I am spring…

"And you? Sir Autumn?"

"Oh hell" he knows I have him here.

"Lord of all that is bountiful and master of change!"

"Yes, well, my mother should have held me in a few months longer. Winter is my true season: despair and loss, you know."

"Meditation and second chances" I amend. "Winter is a time to start over. A gift from the Gods and the wiping of the slate of each year."

"That is true" he muses.

We stop at a local vendor and buy a few rolls to snack on as we walk.

As the middle-aged man running the cart hands Rhys the steamy bread he says "A cold day for such a young couple to be wandering around. You should go home. Warm yourselves by a fire. "

"Oh, we're not-" I start.

"Actually we are going to the Mage's Guild right up the road. Thank you for your concern though" Rhys says over me with a smile. I huff as we continue walking, my breath coming out cloudy.

As, we continue walking, I risk breaching a subject I know Rhys will not delight in, but being so close to reaching the Mage's Guild, it feels right.

"What season is your brother?"

The question, surprisingly, does not anger Rhys or bring down the mood. He hands me a roll. "Tevlin? He is without a doubt a summer child. The very opposite of me."

 _Joy, Adventure, and Warmth._

"I think you should have been born in summer. Those attributes _are_ you." The bread in my hands gives off tendrils of heat but does not burn me. I take in a whiff of the delicious buttery scent before pulling off a piece.

"You are too kind, Mina" Rhys says with a sad laugh.

"No, really" I say as I swallow the bite. "You always make me feel those things. You're brave and loyal and you have a way of making people feel at ease."

He sighs, "You just described a dog."

It's too much. I bend over in laughter and almost drop my roll. "Oh Gods! I did!" I snort.

Rhys waits, hand on hip, as I gain back my composure.

"I think I liked sullen Mina better. This one is a little too rambunctious. Like a puppy."

"So you're a dog and I'm a puppy huh? At least we are the same animal"

"True. I could have referred to you as something menial like a squirrel."

"Squirrel Mina" I muse. "Not quite the animal I would have chosen."

"Well, we will continue this animal argument later." Rhys pops the last bit of his roll in his mouth and swallows. He points up ahead at a large building finely decorated with statues and blue slate tile. "That's the Mage's Guild."

I gawk, the animal naming forgotten.

The building is definitely nowhere near the size of the castle but it is grand in its own right. There are three levels and the stonework is detailed and intricate. Two banners hang from the top of the building, one a deep purple lined with stars to represent the mages and one the flag of Gallen: half blue and half green with a stag in the middle.

"Wow"

"It's a beaut." Rhys says nonchalantly. "Shall we get this over with then?"

I roll my eyes "You know you're excited way deep down"

"Yeah. Sure."

Anders meets us at the doors. It seems he has been expecting us.

"Ah! Mina! It is wonderful you could come to see us!" he meets eyes with Rhys "You as well, Farrowslake. I don't think you've graced these steps since you left us."

"Hello Anders" Rhys says cordially but slightly cold.

No outward hate though. Progress.

"I'm grateful you allowed us to come" I interject. No need to replay the first meeting I witnessed. Keeping this meeting on socially acceptable terms is the goal.

The red-haired Arch-Mage smiles gracefully.

"It is our pleasure young lady. Shall we?" He opens the door and ushers us in. I notice an exchange of looks passed between him and Rhys. They are sizing one another up. _Men._

We stand in a large open room bordered by a balcony and lined with candles. The black and white checkered floor gleams in the candlelight. Artwork I don't recognize hangs throughout. The feeling is that of a museum.

"Well, shall we start with a tour? Or I can just take you straight to the library and then show you around in an hour or so. You have all day don't you?"

"Yes. And I'd love to spend all of it here" I emphasize as I eye Rhys. He isn't getting out of here anytime soon. He nods, begrudgingly.

"Perfect!"

I turn to Rhys. "Did you want to help show me around first or do you want me to get the studying out of the way?"

"It is up to you, my squirrel friend" he smirks. I know he is only trying to hide his discomfort. I feel some empathy towards him. Memories can be brutal.

I make a decision"Library."

"Come!" Anders says cheerily "The library awaits!"

.

I am in heaven.

I have literally died and gone to live with the gods.

Or so it feels like it…

While the Guild's libraries aren't as numerous as my Uncle King Signor's had been, they are massive. The main library takes up the entire third floor. It is simply marvelous.

"Ugh" Rhys moves towards a sitting area "I'll be over here when you're done"

"Do you not like to read?" I ask.  
"Oh, no, I like to read. Adventure stories and the like." He gestures to the many bookcases that house dusty tomes. "Most of these are bland-as-hell history books. And you forget, Mina. I grew up here. Nothing is new."

Anders huffs "Truly, Farrowslake, you act as if everything is the exact same as when you left. You forget we add constantly to our collection."

Rhys just grunts as he slumps into a padded seat next to a young mage trying to study. He closes his eyes and folds his arms.

"Well while you nap away the afternoon, I'm going to go exploring" Rhys just waves a hand without opening his eyes, beckoning me to leave. What a baby.

Anders and I head deeper into the collection of books.

"Is there anything in particular you are wanting to explore while you are here my dear?"

"Uh, yes. I was hoping to read up on…the Mage's Vow?"

 _So I can break it._

"Mage's Vow? A romantic are we? You know I took the Mage's Vow with my closest friend and confidant nearly twenty years ago. He died pretty recently."

"Oh" I find I don't know what else I can say.

"Yes. But his memory is always with me."

"I'm sorry"

Sadness reflects in Anders's eyes but is quickly hidden. "Well, these things do happen. But I know I'll see him again. But I digress. I know just where to look to find the information you are searching for"

We reach a bookcase with books that look even older than the rest. I look for anything that might be similar to the book Daroth and I had used but I don't find much.

"Ah, here we are" Anders pulled a book from the top-most shelf. "This is the one"

I follow him as he takes the book to one of the tables near a high window.

"I can tell you a little bit about the Mage's Vow if you would like and then I can leave you to look through this particular volume. There are a lot of vows and spells here that might interest you as well. " He whips his cloak back over his shoulder so as not to be in the way and we take a seat.

"Thank you"

"Well let's start with what you know"

I shuffle slightly in my chair.

"Um, I know that the vow ties two mages together magically and through the soul. Each mage has contact and access to one another's powers." I use my hands to emphasize my words.

"Yes. That's correct. Anything else?"

"I know the ritual to take the vow and what it entails. I know the spell used."

Anders looks confused

"Spell?" His one word stops me in my tracks.

"Yes. Isn't there a spell or incantation that is involved?"

He narrows his brows "No dear. There is not."

"We may be thinking of a different Mage's Vow. Are there Mage's Vows similar? Vows that involve…blood?"  
Anders' eyes go wide. "Blood magic is very dangerous and very dark. Were you not taught that?"

I swallow. Hard. I feel as if my world is shifting out from under my feet. Queasiness claws up my throat.

He continues, "The Mage's Vow is quite simple. One merely holds hands with the one they want to be connected with. If both parties feel the same way about each other and they both possess magic all they have to do is shift their magic to one another through their touch. Simple really. Simple but ancient."

"And it can be broken?"

"It only exists if the participants will it. The Mage's Vow is said to reach through the veil into the realm of the gods. While death cannot break it, an unwilling party can."

"And Blood magic?"

Anders shakes his head. "I do not know why you are so interested in this dark sorcery or where you came across it, my dear. Blood magic can work like a Mage's Vow depending on what is used but it is a more sinister sort of binding. I'd have to know exactly what kind you were talking about to tell you more. Wouldn't you rather learn about something nicer?" he taps the volume in front of us "There are spells in this book that do marvelous things like cause flowers to grow multicolored or animals to talk for a few minutes at a time"

Animals and Flowers? _Really?_ Did he think I was a _child_?

I am relentless in my search. "Do you have books on blood magic? I don't think I will be able to rest until I know."

"Y-yes. We do. I can show you them but I'd rather not" Anders eyes me suspiciously. "They are over there in the forbidden section." He gestures down a row of books to a shelf that seems darker than the rest. "Our undergraduates are not allowed to study those."

I decide I research it when he leaves me. Time to soften him back up. I ask about Mage's Vow to distract him from my previous questioning.

The mood lightens instantly and he begins to tell me everything he knows about it. "It really is fascinating knowledge! The first recorded taking of a Mage's Vow must have been…"

The rest of Anders' words fall on deaf ears. My mind is racing as I process this new information I've gained and connect it to what I know.

If the vow Daroth and I had taken hadn't been a Mage's Vow, what had it been?

Some sort of blood magic?

Anders said blood magic was powerful and dark.

I feel the warmth drain from my face faster than before and I have to grip my chair to keep from falling to the ground.

What _had_ I done?!

...

* * *

 **FOR FUN:**

 **Spring (April-Jun) – Hope, Love, Rebirth**  
 **Summer (Jul-Sept) – Joy, Adventure, Warmth**  
 **Autumn (Oct-Dec) – Bounty, Change, Reflection**  
 **Winter (Jan-Mar)– Despair, Meditation, Second Chances**

 **Its currently November in this story (almost December, but sorry. No Christmas)  
Namina ran away in late August. Just so you have some idea of the timeline. She's been in Gallen three months now.**


	21. Chapter 21

**_One Year and Five Months Before_**

"There's something off about your Advisor, Princess." Mara said one night as I prepared for bed.

"What do you mean?" I met her gaze in the mirror as I brushed my hair.

"He seems…" she trailed off.

I laughed. "What, Mara? Just tell me. I'm sure I can explain it."

I felt it probably had to do with our vow. Ever since we had taken the Mage's vow we had grown closer. Our desire was stronger. Daroth seemed off put at first about it but now I think he enjoyed it more than I did.

"I don't know." She sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed. Genuine worry crossed her face. "He just doesn't seem honorable. Something about the way he looks at you…"

 _I knew it._

"Don't worry. He's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine." I smiled brightly. It was returned half-heartedly. I turned in my chair and met her eyes.

Mara crossed her arms. "I just worry for you, that's all. If you want my honest opinion I don't trust him. Not one bit. But you must make your own decisions"

I turned, setting the brush down. My brows rose.

Mara lifted her hands in a pleading fashion and looked up to the ceiling. "Its just that with Advisor Ronner now dead-"

"Ronner?!" I gasped.

"You didn't know?" Mara looked at me with concern. "He's the third to die in the last year. I know most of them are older and all but doesn't it seem at least a bit suspicious? The whole council seems as if they are all on edge. All but Advisor Daroth."

"I'm sure he's on edge too. Daroth is just really good at controlling his emotions" I said in defense. While I wondered why Daroth had not told me himself, I still fully trusted him. Mara's tone, though, had started to worry me. She was usually such a levelheaded girl.

"I'm just afraid Daroth is using his relationship with you for ill reasons. You are blinded by your affection for him, I think. When I see you both together, my stomach turns. Just stay away from him, Princess." The last sentence came out as nearly a bark.

"You are overreacting." I said calmly but with an air of spite. "And Mara I don't appreciate your tone"

She stared at me, aghast, before cooling her features and putting on a mask of indifference. I stood and folded my arms. She may have thought she saw what was going on between Daroth and I but I knew she had no clue. Our shared bond was growing stronger every day. In fact, I felt closer to Daroth than I ever have.

Mara looked down, obviously chagrined.

"Yes, Princess. I apologize."

.

"Ahhh, to travel to Vinerath!" I lay across Daroth's bed with my head hanging off the end. My hair touched the ground and I grinned wildly as I swung my arms up. Daroth had just finished telling me of his recent trip to the seemingly magical kingdom to the southeast. Everything I had ever heard of Vinerath sounded magical: beautiful dark-skinned people with amethyst eyes, jewels of every kind, white sandy beaches and tribal groups that traveled to various cities selling their wares. I so badly wanted to go there someday.

Daroth looked up from where he sat at this desk and pointed at me with his feather pen. "Princess, you look rather foolish like that"

I spun until I faced upright, my hair falling to one side.

"Do I sir?" I had tried to make myself sound seductive but instead a wave of dizziness overtook me and I sat up, placing a palm against my temple

My body was still weak from the pull of power from earlier. I had come to his room that morning and still had not left. Daroth had needed a magical boost and I happily obliged and then napped the weakness off. Now it was just the bit of vertigo that came and went every few minutes. It was the end of the side effects at least.

Each pulling of power came easier and easier, however. While I was still almost knocked unconscious each time, Daroth had been able to pull more from me without greater effect. I had even tried to pull power from him once but to no avail. Regardless, I was happy to assist him. He continued to romance me in the best means and had even found ways to get me special privileges that my father and uncle had denied. I had been allowed to attend a council meeting once, and we had taken a whole day off from the life of court to picnic in the woods beyond the palace gates just last week. All that was worth a few hours of sickness.

This small bout only lasted half a minute. When I was able to focus again, Daroth knelt in front of me. He took my hand in his.

"Better yet?"

I sighed, "Yes. I think that may be the last of it actually."

He kissed the hand he held "Good. I do hate to see you like this"

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me until I stood on my tiptoes.

"It's worth it every time"

It was in moments like this that I was sure Daroth could never do any wrong. Mara was just paranoid. I sighed quietly. Mara was still acting cold towards me in few days since we had argued. What could I do to make her come around?

I decided I would ask Daroth.

"How have the council meetings been? You know, with fewer members?" I tried.

His gaze darkened ever so slightly and his grip on me tightened.

"Tough, honestly. With three advisors dead, the load has fallen more heavily on the rest of us. While it is nice having the responsibility, it is sad in the reasoning behind it." He was troubled, it seemed.

"I am sorry to hear it," I murmured, "Has any progress been made in discovering why the men have died?"

Daroth set me down and tucked a lock of brown hair behind my ear. "Not really. It is nothing that you need be worried about, Namina. I mean it in the best way possible when I say that council business should not concern you"

"Of course it should concern me! I'll be queen one day you know" I splayed my hand against his chest and gazed at it as it rose and fell with each breath.

"Yes, you will. And you will be a beautiful queen, my dear, but I hate to see you fretting about the Advisors Council. Just push it out of your mind"

He brushed a quick kiss against my temple and pulled away from me, smiling.

I pursed my lip in a pout and Daroth laughed.

"You should leave. I have work to do and with you here I'll never finish. You're a beautiful distraction, little bird"

"I'll visit you later?"

"Yes, Princess" Daroth smiled sweetly as he opened the door to his chambers and ushered me out.

.

Later in the day, as I headed towards the gardens for a stroll I ran into one of the Advisors: A middle-aged blonde man by the name of Lucan from the northern parts of Irisidea. As I walked down the checkered hall, I saw Lucan up ahead. He fidgeted as I came closer and glanced in both directions before waving me forward.

He was waiting for me.

 _But why?_

"Advisor Lucan!" I nodded as he bowed.

"Your Highness. May I have a word with you? In private?" he looked seemingly nervous, his usually neat blonde hair unkempt and his eyes wild.

My first thought was that something had happened to Daroth.

 _Breathe, Namina. This is nothing to worry about._

"If you please it, yes. Come" I led him into one of my uncle's libraries.

Lucan looked from side to side as if making sure we were truly alone before daring to speak. He ran a hand through his hair, causing the ends to stand higher.

"Princess, I have reason to believe my life is in danger."

"How can this be?" My words were steadier than I thought they'd be. I gripped my skirts tight in effort to stay calm. My stomach churned.

"Ronner was found dead this week. That only leaves three of us advisors left and I am afraid I will be next."

He paused as if trying to decide if he should speak his next words.

I wished he hadn't.

"I have reason to believe Advisor Daroth might be behind the attacks"

"It must be a coincidence." I say, shaking my head "I don't think Daroth has anything to do with it. There must be some other explanation."

I turned to leave but Lucan grabbed my arm.

I swallowed forced myself to meet his eyes once more.

"Advisor Lucan, I ask that you leave me be." my tone wavered.

"Please Princess. There is something going on and I have a feeling that you know more than you are letting on. For my children, I beg you!" The fear reflecting in his eyes startled me.

My hands trembled anew.

"I don't know what you mean" He couldn't have been talking about out vow.

And surely Daroth would never…

Oh, Gods. Had he used my magic to help him _kill?_

But, no.

I trusted him.

I did…

"I-I'll see what I can do. I am sorry!" I just wanted to get as far away as possible from him. I pulled from Lucan's grasp and left him near sobbing in the library.

This man really was afraid for his life!

Surely Daroth had nothing to do with the deaths. People died everyday. The chances that a few advisors had succumbed to the red plague or other tragedies…

It couldn't have been Daroth.

It just couldn't have.

* * *

 **So Namina is a total idiot. She really didn't ever think to wonder what Daroth was using his powers for. (in case you are wondering how she never caught on until this) She just loved the idea of being connected with an all-powerful soul mage.**

 **Obviously, this will have consequences...**


	22. Chapter 22

_Anders said blood magic was powerful and dark._

 _I feel the warmth drain from my face faster than before and I have to grip my chair to keep from falling to the ground._

 _What had I done?!_

…

 _Did you really expect anything less, Namina?_ I chide myself. I feel my emotions rage back and forth like the tide. One moment I am enraged and ready to kill something, the next I am terrified and feel my fingers trembling in my lap.

Anders pats my shoulder and stands.

He has finished speaking.

"Well, I'm sure you're tired of listening to me ramble on. I just get so excited when it comes to things like this. Shall I go check on Rhys?"

"He's probably in the same spot we left him"

It has only been ten minutes.

Anders chuckles under his breath and then sighs deep.

"You'd be surprised to find how much he has not changed. And how much he has."

"He's something else." I say.

"That he his. And he has so much potential. I know he thinks we Arch-Mages see him as a failure and while, yes, we would have wanted him to become a teacher, we are proud of him. _I_ am proud of him. If only he would see that."

I can't help but to ask.

Anything to keep my mind off of the most recent reveal of Daroth's betrayal.

"So what made him hate it here?"

Anders sighs again. "Rhys has always been somewhat of a rebel. Whenever we took Tevlin and him in, he made it known he didn't want to be here. Acted out. Pulled pranks on some of the other students. Teachers would dread to have him in their classes. The only thing he loved was his brother and some of the other children." My mind wanders to Tasha and Reyna. I know now that they had been close and I garner that Anders means them.

"When Rhys was about to graduate and his brother, Tevlin, was fourteen, they got into a huge argument. Rhys used magic against his brother in anger. He burned his neck and shoulder. Healers were called in but it still left a deep tissue scar. Both boys were visibly upset. I don't think it was on purpose, but what happened changed things. He became a shell of himself. The guilt was too great. A few weeks later he graduated and left for good. I've only seen him here and there. Tevlin mentions seeing him once or twice but they haven't talked in a solid two years at least."

I try to imagine what that must have felt like.  
I find I can't.

"While Rhys acted out, he was knowledgeable in elementals. He knew his stuff backward and forward. We offered him a teaching position right after he graduated. He turned it down flat. I think even if he hadn't hurt his brother he would have turned it down. Like I said, He never wanted to really be here. Whenever any of us Arch-Mages see him we offer it to him still. He has never once considered taking us up on it."

"When I met Rhys, he told me he just knew a few tricks here and there."

Anders shakes his head slowly. "Farrowslake is one of the more decently powerful elementalists we have seen come through here. He just refuses to do more than small tricks after what had happened."

So he had lied to me.

He trusts me not to let this alter our friendship.

It doesn't.

It wouldn't. _But I'm still pissed._

Anders sees my irritation.

"Don't blame the boy. He just wants to protect everyone. We all have secrets you know" I get that perceptive look. That look that says that as a spirit mage, he can still read me. I wonder if my spirit has changed any. Good or bad.

Anders' words and knowing gaze chastises me.

 _You should cut some slack to Rhys. You've lied too you know._

"I'll finish up here. Shall I meet you and Rhys in ten minutes?"

Anders pats my shoulder once more "That sounds like a good plan."

When he is out of sight I let my thoughts trail back to blood magic and once again, my blood boils. I need to know what Daroth has done to me.

I am beginning to realize that my whole Mage education may have been a lie.

Or, at least, _very_ tailored to suit my family's needs.

If there is any chance of learning how to break whatever the hell Daroth has done to me, I need to find it in the next ten minutes. My heart pounds in my ears, blocking out all else.

I slip up to the bookcase Anders had pointed out and start scanning, my fingers trailing the shelf as I read the sections. _Hexes, Rogue Mages, Death curses, Sorcery, Blood Oaths._

Blood Oaths. That has to be it.

I glance up at the books on the labeled shelf. Only one book, a black volume with red lettering, waits for me. Gingerly, I pick it up and carry it back to the table Anders has shown me.

It is thicker than the book Daroth had used. With any luck, though, it will tell me what I need to know.

The book almost seems to burn my fingers with its contents. And I haven't even opened the damn thing.

I take a deep breath and lift the cover.

A frilly text meets my eyes.

It is so fancy it takes a moment before I make out that it is the table of contents. A quick scan leads me to the _binding_ section.

I read through various binding spells, not even glancing at the titles. Some bind a person to an animal, others to inanimate objects, like soul splitting. I browse quickly, looking for tell-tale signs of my own binding.

Suddenly, I find it. My finger taps the page.

 _"Flesh to flesh, blood to blood, magic to magic…"_

This is it.

Everything matches: the knife used, the spell, the blood on the palms pressed against the chest. Holding in air, I let my eyes wander up the page until I read the title of this certain binding.

 _The Binding of A Restrained Soul._

 _._

Rhys is still sitting where I had left him when I get to the front of the library, though now awake and Anders sits where the young mage studying had been.

They are talking politely to one another but I do not catch their words. I do not have ears to hear at the moment.

Every sense is turned inward.

My mind is reeling with everything I have read. Bits and pieces float through my thoughts as I join up with them.

 ** _' The Binding of A Restrained Soul is used in the bending of ones will to another…'_**

Anders smiles when he sees me. Rhys stands.

"Are you ready to see the rest of the guild, Mina?" says Anders.

 ** _' A Sorcerer in want of strengthening their own power can use this vow to connect their soul with another…'_**

I smile as politely as I can and nod.

Rhys gives me a quizzical look.

Something is off and he sees it.

As much as I try to hide it, I am now troubled.

 ** _'… making them in control of and having access to both souls...'_**

I shrug him off and we leave the library, Anders explaining about various paintings as we walk towards the staircase.

The rest of the passage rolls through my mind:

 ** _'…by taking on the vow first and while reading the passage, focus on their true desires. With time, the souls will intermingle, causing the stronger soul to have a greater influence on the actions of the other, although not directly..'_**

I have found out that, in a sense, Daroth has practically made me into a human channel for his magic. Other words come creeping back into my head. Words that make my stomach turn with regret and my mouth fill with bile:

 ** _'When two souls are bonded in such a manner, passion and want may grow between them. Giving in to this passion strengthens the bond further and makes the soul easier to access. While the lesser of the two souls is bound subordinately to the higher, they too gain considerable skills in accessing the soul and may gain traits of the stronger one. Magic is found to come easier and death is less likely as their life is now tied with the life of the other.'_**

Magic has evolved over the last millennia, making a lot of dark magic unattainable. At least, that is what I had been _taught._

I wonder to myself if Soul Sorcerers are the closest one can get to the mages of old and if mages of old even exist anymore.

Daroth must have known, or at least suspected, this spell would work.

 _Damn him._

At least now I know why I have had such evil thoughts cross my mind. I am beginning to think like him.

 _Will I become like him?_

"Mina?"

I look up. We have already walked downstairs.

Both men stare at me.

"Hmm?" I raise my eyebrows.

"We can leave if you'd like" Rhys says. He has gotten so good at reading me.

 _Too good_.

But no. I need this.

I need this distraction.

Especially right now. If I dwell on the binding too long I may fall apart again.

Or worse: cry.

Will there ever come a day when I can just enjoy life and not have to worry about Daroth or magic or Irisidea? _Probably not…_

I swallow "I'm sorry. Just something I read really bothered me. I'd like to stay."

As I speak, another mage with a purple cloak comes up to Anders and whispers in his ear. He leans in and I watch his face morph from slightly interested to almost worried. When the other mage leaves, he looks at us apologetically.

"I'm sorry but it seems that I have some unexpected business to attend to across the capitol. There have been some…altercations through Gallen involving some of the other teacher mages. We will have to give you a tour some other time." He begins to head toward the doors leading into town.

"I can show her around." Rhys interjects, holding an arm out to stop me from following Anders.

Anders's brow narrows. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"  
"I know this place, Arch-mage. Or at least I knew it. I can give her a quick tour and then we will be on our way."

"I suppose that will be alright then. Again, I apologize."

I smile sympathetically.

"Thank you for having us Anders. "

He clasps one of my hands between both of his and pats it.

"Our pleasure, Mina. You are always welcome in the Mage's Guild." His eyes meet mine as he studies me, but then his gaze seems to pierce me deeper. I try not to flinch.

"You are still very much troubled and your path is dark. Stay strong, my dear. And stay away from blood magic."  
We are left alone.

I let myself shiver "I hate when he does that."

"The spirit reading?"

"Yes."

"What did Anders mean by blood magic?" the inquiry sounds innocent enough, but Rhys knows I am hiding something.

I shrug nonchalantly as possible. "Just something I was looking up in the library"

"May I ask why?"

I do not want to talk about it, so I decide to make a low blow: I bring up his powers.

"So you're actually very good at elemental magic?"

It works.

Rhys deadpans, "He told you then"

"Yes."

"How much?"

"You're powerful. You got into trouble." I bite my lip.

The topic is now off of me but I fear I may be treading in dangerous water.

"And…" Rhys prods. He knows I know.

"…your brother."

There is a shrug and then a look of carelessness.

It comes off almost too careless.

"I told you I expected as much. So yes, I hated it here. I got into trouble. I have more magic than I let on and can do more than set Ren's shoes aflame." He pauses and I am reminded of a wolf as he stares me down. "And I nearly killed my brother, but Anders didn't tell you the whole story. There were others too."

"It's not your fault." I say weakly. He shrugs. His features are still deadly.

A challenge. He wants me to pry. To see if I will take the bait. He wants to corner me into revealing my own dark secrets.

 _Or he really does have a shady past…_

I say nothing. Now is not the time.

Several edgy moments later the tension passes.

Rhys relents. Neither of us is going to learn something new about each other today. "Come. I'll show you around"

.

After showing me the living quarters we end up in what Rhys calls the training hall.

It is here that mages of various types use their magic on one another in a controlled environment. From summoner mages, who can move and control objects to elemental mages, they all must learn boundaries. Healer and spirit mages monitor and assist when needed. Along the walls, doors give access to various classrooms.

"You have no idea the hell I went through while I trained here." The smirk that graces Rhys's mouth speaks of an inside joke. His mood is lightened once more. "Tasha would sometimes have to force me to come to lessons."

We walked slowly through the training hall dipping into various classrooms here and there to have a look.

"What was your favorite part of mage lessons?" I ask.

"Hmmm. Probably flirting with the other girls my age"

I backhand his arm lightly. "Seriously, Farrowslake."

"Fine." He relents with a grin. "I would have to say the idea of control. Being able to take a force so wild and natural and bend it to my will is a beautiful thing. Well, it _can_ be a beautiful thing." There it is: the darkness that passes over him. I wonder if it is not visible of me as well when I ponder on Daroth and my family.

"I agree. Magic is beautiful, but is also dangerous." I speak of myself but I know the words touch him as well.

We get to the end of the hall and I see that we are back near where we had started. There is one last classroom to see. Rhys leads me in.

"Last room. Just an ordinary classroom I'm afraid. Nothing special."

The room has two lines of tables with chairs interspersed around them. I chalkboard hangs on one wall while two windows line the other. The brightness from outside catches my eye.

I cross the room to one of the fogged windows and rub my hand against the glass at eyelevel.

"It's snowing harder."

"Well that is going to make duty tomorrow a real treat" Rhys drawls sarcastically.

"Ha! You act as if being a guard is torture."

"Sometimes, Healer Mina, it is. What of being a healer? Has it always been your passion?"

"Actually yes. Ever since I was young, I've wanted to use my magic. If I weren't here in Gallen I would want to join an actual party of healers. When the red plague broke out in Irisidea, I so badly wanted to help. I felt drawn to help, but I was denied the privilege from my father and my betrothed. They felt it too dangerous to let me go."

"They should have let you. I've only heard wonderful things about your skills since I brought you here. While some healers take pride in there skill, you seem to do it simply because you want to help others. I saw it when you healed Ero. It was humbling."

My cheeks flame up. "I only do what I can. I am no better than Tasha or Reyna, honestly. What of you then? What would you do, given the chance you could leave your post in the Kings Guard?"

"I want to travel. I'd love to study with the ice elementalists in the northern mountains or fire tamers in Vinerath. Anything would be better than staying here in the Capitol living out my days as a guard. No matter my position." He presses his hand against the windowpane. A small bead of condensation from his body heat rolls down, creating a clear path in the otherwise foggy window.

"If only there were a way to live out our dreams." I sigh

Rhys moves his hand, streaking the pane further. The flurries from this morning fall harder now. We will be walking back to the castle in the snow. "The funny thing is, I could. I have money now. I've saved for the past several years so that I might one day do exactly that. I could go anywhere, Mina. I could do anything."

I fold my arms and lean against the wall near the window, the cooling sensation nice against my brow.

"What is holding you back, then?"

"To be honest, there is only one thing keeping me here now." His gaze catches mine and his brown eyes are fierce. I cannot help but to be startled by the warmth in them.

"And what would that be?"

"You."

I sober at the word and look down at the windowsill. Such a simple statement but I cannot help feel there is a profound meaning behind it. I laugh it off as casually as I can.

"You mean you have to keep me from trouble. I'd probably destroy half the capitol with my ignorance if you didn't step in for me."  
He huffs. "Yes, well there's that. But you've also become a good friend. It's been a long time since I've had that."

Rhys stands in front of me now and takes my hand in his. He holds the hand that I used to make the vow with Daroth. The cut against my palm burns lightly under the touch of his callused fingers.

My throat burns and I can barely meet his eyes again.

 _What is wrong with you?! It is not like he is proposing to you._

"Mina, I have this insane idea. I-"

"Rhys?" A deep voice from the hallway startles us and ends the moment. Rhys drops my hand and nearly gasps aloud. A young man near my own age with light hair stares at Rhys with wide blue eyes. He reminds me of a hare with an upturned nose and those eyes. A scar runs up his neck to his ear.

Any closer or deeper and I know he would not have that ear. I could have healed it easily enough were it fresh.

 _You could have made him bleed out, too._

The thought occurs to me so suddenly that I shudder.

"Boone!" Rhys exclaims.

"I had heard you were in Andelasia on assignment. I didn't expect to see you."

Something in his tone says that he didn't want see him.

Boone swallows and takes a step forward. "I was. I only came here to report to the Arch-mages on my assignment so far and bring a few recently graduated students back with me."

"Nice scar"

Boone laughs, "Knife fight with a Vinerathean. I was an idiot to try."

Rhys lets out a chuckle "Obviously."

He eyes us both. "So what are you doing back? You hate this place."

Rhys puts a hand on my back. "I brought a friend to do some research and I wanted to show her around. This is Mina."

"Hello" I say awkwardly.

Boone gives me a half smile as he enters the light of the room.

"So…" Rhys begins with an uncomfortable air "How have you been?"

"Good. I've been good. And you, Farrowslake?"

"I've been well. Have you…"

Rhys pauses, trying to think of what to say.

"…Have you seen Tevlin of late?"

He steps away from me and rests on the edge of a table; His arms are folded across his chest.

"He's teaching in the south, near the border of Vinerath. Very close to the skirmishes."

Rhys nods as if he understands.

 _Skirmishes?_ Was Gallen having problems with Vinerath? Out of the four kingdoms, Gallen and Vinerath had always been on the best terms.

"A couple of sentinels have been sent down there to help quay the worst of it. There have been attacks along the Irisidean border as well, near Elnor."

I bristle at the name of the familiar town I say a quick prayer to the gods that Winton has not been killed in whatever these skirmishes are.

Boone shakes is head. "Hopefully we can root out these insurgents before they can do much else. Hundreds have already died. It's horrifying to think about."

"I agree."

"Yes. Well, I will leave you both." Boone shakes my hand. "It was great meeting you, Mina. Good luck with him"

The joke doesn't sit well with Rhys. Boone does not seem notice.

"Stay safe Boone" Rhys raises a fist to his chest in a salute. The blonde man mirrors the motion and then bows as he leaves.

Silence descends upon us like a thick blanket.

It is only when I am absolutely sure Boone is gone that I dare speak.

I take a step toward the table Rhys is perched on.

"You know him then?"

Rhys doesn't meet my eyes "Yes. He was a classmate of Tevlin and Reyna"

I bite my lip. When I speak, my voice cracks "Why did you not tell me of the skirmishes?"

"Are you mad I didn't tell you?"

I actually ponder it for a moment. "No. I don't know. Maybe?"

"I didn't feel like you needed to know. The last thing a skittish girl such as you should hear about is a raid by a self-proclaimed 'black guard'. They are simply terrorists trying to disturb the peace."

I know that name.

Those are Daroth's soldiers. _Figures._

"It's Irisidea. They are behind the attacks."

He shakes his head, disregarding my statement. "Irisidea has not been immune to the attacks. Why on earth would the monarchy attack its own? It doesn't make sense."

I clench my fists "Trust me, Rhys. I know what I am saying."

The wolf stare is back.

"Prove it"

"What?"

"Prove you know what you are saying. Tell me something that will solidify your claim. You speak in riddles and hide the truth."

I glare at him "As do you I have learned"

"Yes, but I do not make claims to know things concerning matters of state."

My upper lip curls.

"Ughh, you are obsurd. Nevermind." I walk out of the classroom and find myself back in the entryway.

He shrugs as he follows "I'm just saying I will take your word and pass it on when I have solid evidence. Anything else you claim to know? Does Parth have spies in the Capitol?"

"Mocking me will not help in your quest of knowledge, Rhys"

"Yes, but it was worth a try." He hands me my owl-feather cloak and then secures his own back around his shoulder.

As he pulls up his hood he says "And it sure is enjoyable to watch your reactions"

When Rhys turns to open the door and lead me back to the Castle complex, I stick out my tongue at him.

* * *

 **Blood Magic? The Black Guard? And did Rhys and Mina just have a moment? Well well well...**

 _sildarmillion: the cover art is more of a placeholder than anything as i haven't found anything that screams "Owlfeathers" I guess with the picture for this version I was think more Daroth/Mina flashbacks. The picture before was more of an ode to Namina's trial under the weight of being a princess (from when she was in Irisidea and in future chapters)_

 _Jeccabelle: thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the story and I really appreciate you telling me that!_

 _Also thank you to anyone else who reads this story but doesn't review._

 _Feel free to review anytime and give me feedback! I know I'm not an amazing writer (nor do I claim to aspire to be) but I'm having fun telling this story. One day maybe I'll illustrate it too._


	23. Chapter 23

**_One Year and Three Months Before_**

My nineteenth birthday arrived and in celebration, a masked ball was planned for in the month following.

I finished pulling my hair up and securing it with several pins before walking over to my bed where the dress for the evening was sprawled.

The dress laid out for me to wear would show a lot of skin.

 _Good._

I smiled grimly as Mara fastened the back together before placing her hand on my bare shoulder.

The dress was a deep red with a long loose skirt. The bodice of the gown wrapped around my waist and over my chest before being secured behind my neck. I loved the seductiveness of it. Adding the pinned hair and red lipstick caused me to look older than my nineteen years. _Won't Daroth be surprised_ I thought with a smirk.

"You look radiant, Princess. No man in his right mind will be able to keep his eyes from you tonight"

I smiled and patted her hand.

While Mara still didn't trust Daroth, I had faith that he would be able to explain himself.

 _Please let it be that he has nothing to do with this._

 _Please let it all be a misunderstanding._

I gave a silent prayer as I walked towards the grand ballroom that my instincts were wrong. Daroth couldn't have been the one responsible for the other Advisors' deaths.

It all had to be a cruel rumor.

Lucan had died two weeks ago. After his warning, I had been on edge. Nothing had changed between Daroth and I but I had started to notice little things. Like words he would say or changes in his normal schedule.

Things had slowly taken a change.

I thought about the implications with sick dread. If he was the murderer that meant that my magic had played a part. Only a Soul Sorcerer could rip a soul out of a body like that and only one with a connection to another powerful mage would do it so often. He had been syphoning more from me lately and while I was willing to share with the man I loved, I had wondered what he had been using it for.

I reached the door to the ballroom, secured my red mask, and waited to be announced.

I had spent my whole life in the palace but I had only ever visited this specific room a handful of times outside court events. One of those, to take the vow.

It was a large, nearly fifty meters wide and long, and gilded with gold filigree. Two large chandeliers cast a warm glow on the colorful masked crowd below. Servants walked through the masses passing out refreshments.

Trumpets sounded, causing the crowd to look up where I stood. The gray-haired announcer cleared his throat before crying out my title. "Introducing Princess Namina Kalea Dorn, Daughter of High Prince Karthon of Irisidea, the honored lady of tonight's celebrations."

I gave the announcer a quick smile and descended down the stairs. Daroth turned when I was announced and made his way to me as I came to the floor. I watched his eyes graze my body. Gooseflesh ran up my arms and my heart pitter-pattered nervously. I glanced to where my Uncle and Father sat, watching me.

"Lady Namina you look entrancing this evening" Daroth said smoothly taking my hand in his. His deep blue doublet brought out the color in his eyes even behind his silver mask. He was always so handsome.

I let him kiss my hand.

 _Could he really be a murderer?_

"Thank you, Advisor Daroth."

The look of concern on his face almost caused me to forget everything. "You seem troubled." He said, leading me through to the dance floor and into the first dance as the music started up.

"Yes. I suppose I am," I said as he spun me around and we linked hands to start the next move. Our closeness felt as natural as ever despite my fears.

 _How to say this…_

We went through the steps in silence. I refused to meet his gaze as we danced. Near the end of our third dance, I knew I had to ask.

I needed to know.

"Daroth, since we took the vow and my magic has become of use to you, I feel like something has changed. You've become distant these past months."

"I've come to see you nearly every day" he admonished, raising an eyebrow.

I bit my lip, trying to find the words I needed "Yes, and its been quite passionate and wonderful, but our relationship feels…different."

I prayed he would say that nothing had changed and that we still meant the world to each other but he merely pulled me close as the dance ended.

I felt the fire of want sear my chest.

"How do you feel about moving this conversation to somewhere private after the dance? Yes?" He whispered in my ear silkily. This romancing, this whirlwind of emotions, was it really just a lie? Was he trying to _distract_ me?

"No"

It pained me to say it. I pressed down the feelings that made me want to take him right there. A look of confusion crossed his face. I hurried to correct it "What I mean to say is…I'd like to talk about this, Daroth." I glanced to the dais where King Signor talked to my father.

Both men watched us.

Daroth sighed, all pretenses of ardor sliding from his countenance. He was irritated with me. "I can promise you, nothing has changed. I still enjoy your company very much."

"You still love me then?" _Say yes. Oh Gods please say yes._

"Mmhmm" He replied carelessly, looking over my shoulder at the dais.

I should have taken that as my answer and gone on in ignorant bliss, but I didn't. No, instead in a moment of relief I decided to make a scene. I reached up and kissed him in front of everyone.

Let them see. They already knew we were closer than friends.

I heard the gasps of a few of the closer courtiers attending the ball but I didn't care. Let them think what they will. They'd find out soon enough that their Princess was romancing an Advisor.

When I pulled away, I met his eyes.

They were stone cold.

My heart dropped to my feet.

"Excuse us," Daroth announced to those around us.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into an empty, unlit hallway off the ballroom. I saw as he closed the door that the other couples had gone one dancing, despite what had just transpired. The door clicked shut, casting Daroth and I in darkness.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked, obviously confused at my actions.

My brows knit together and my voice rose as I spoke. "Me? I merely kissed you! Like I've done hundreds of times before!"

He gestured towards the ballroom. "Yes, but not in public. We don't need a scandal to come along and ruin-"

The dam of my emotions broke and I yelled even as I slipped my mask down around my neck, "Ruin what, Daroth?! Ruin your chances of becoming High Advisor? There are only three of you now and with the turn of events so far, I think you have a good shot no matter what your reputation!"

With the accusational words, Daroth's temper ignited.

He growled and threw off his mask before pulling me to him. His grip on my upper arms was tight with fury. "What are you implying?" he snarled.

"I'm implying that you are murdering your fellow Advisors with the aid of my magic. Do you enjoy it, Daroth?! Do you crush their souls? Or merely pull them out of the victim's bodies. You're a monster." My now sour mood tinted my words.

He laughed.

"And what if I am? What does a girl know about politics?" Daroth's face was inches from my own now as he sneered.

"I know little, but before Lucan died he confided that he felt his life in danger. He told me what he suspected. I now believe him."

"Lucan was a fool"

"At least he was honest. Daroth, I command you to stop any part you have in this and to stay way from the King and High Prince! They are corrupting you!"

We had fought before, but never this fiercely. Both of us were heated.

"I do not take orders from you, Princess. You have no authority over me."

I shoved him away. "I am the Queen to be!"

"You are a love-struck teenager and in the way of quite a lot!" he snapped. While the words were spoken in the heat of the argument I could hear the truth within them.

Daroth really felt that way.

It left its mark upon my heart, causing a crack deep within me. All my fury leaked away in an instant, leaving coldness in its wake.

"So…you don't love me." It wasn't a question.

He narrowed his eyes at me "What would you like me to say? Would you prefer I lie and confess undying love to you, or tell you that you were a means to an end?"

I bit my lip.

He sighed, resigned to continue. "I may not have loved you like you have loved me but I have grown to need you in many ways."

I looked down at my feet and spoke my next words with as little bitterness as I could manage.

"And it's true then. You've killed and used magic to gain position." Daroth took my hand in his.

"Why are we doing this now? We should go back and enjoy the celebration, Princess. Worry about this another day"

"Answer the question, Daroth" my voice was firm and I met his gaze.

"Fine. Yes. But not without King Signor's blessing. High Prince Karthon got rid of one and I offed the other."

This actually didn't surprise me. Father and King Signor were always breaking laws and bending rules to get what they wanted. A very powerful mage at the top of their retinue would please them very much. Why they wanted to kill the other advisors and not just promote Daroth to a greater position was beyond me. The protocol was that the senior members became High Advisor, yes, but Kings changed laws everyday.

"Ernan?"

"Died of natural causes. Prince Karthon was to poison him when he returned from his territory but fate had its own plans"

Something else donned on me. Something so terrible, I stumbled back against the wall.

"So Signor and Karthon. They knew?! This whole time we've been keeping our romance a secret, but it hasn't been, has it? Was it their idea?!"

"They've wanted me to become more powerful so that we may have more influence in other Kingdoms. If I convinced you to fall in love with me, you would be more docile and likely to cooperate with us. I could convince you to use your magic for our purposes. The romancing was their idea. Making the Mage's Vow was mine. They liked the idea of us being linked by our souls, that way if you decided to turn against all we have worked for we can control you by force. Don't let it come to that."

The warning stung.

I turned my head and shut my eyes, praying that this would all disappear and I would find myself back in the ballroom, still dancing with the Daroth I thought I had loved.

"So now I'm bound to you. The Mage's Vow isn't a promise of love is it? Just a 'means to an end'"

I felt his hand on my cheek as he turned my face back to his.

"Look at me, Namina"

I did.

His voice was not warm or cold as he said, "This changes nothing. Whether you like it or not, we are still bound to one another. I may not have been as infatuated with you as you were with me these last few years, but I _was_ drawn to you. You have spirit and beauty and audacity. When we took the vow, it caused me to yearn for you as never before. I now desire you _as well as_ your magic and I will have it. You know I am a man who gets what I want. Do not fight me," He gripped my jaw lightly. A warning. "If it makes it easier, go back to your fantasy you've built of me, but do not cross me. Let me love you in this way."

I was graced by a small chaste kiss on the lips.

"Now, shall we continue to celebrate your birthday, little bird?"

I nodded, shocked at his words and disbelieving at what had just transpired.

My whole world had truly disintegrated in a matter of those few minutes. I had not expected this. I had hoped he would quell my fears, not confirm them.

Daroth led me back into the ballroom and acted as if nothing had happened.

Most of the courtiers hadn't even noticed we had left. Those who did whispered to their partners in hushed tones.

I met as many eyes as I could and tried to convey to them what I felt through glares.

 _Go ahead and talk. I care not for you or your opinions._

After the ball, Daroth dropped me off at my quarters with a kiss.

As he bowed he said "Goodnight princess"

I shut the door without a reply. My emotions swelled in the silence of my chambers. Mara must have left hours ago. The tears that had threatened to fall since his admittance to the truth came in a rush. The wood of the door was cool on my almost bare back as I turned and leaned on its weight.

 _Used._

 _Controlled._

 _Lied to._

I slumped, letting myself side down to the floor and buried my face in my red skirts.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Dang, I had trouble with this chapter. Definitely not my strongest. I might come back and edit it but I'm tired of just sitting on it. I have several of the other chapters after this written and so this is more a bridging chapter from what has happened and what will happen. Anyway, enjoy. Feel free to give suggestions and review.**_

 _ **I'm going to put the next 2 chapters up tonight so another "large" update.  
**_ _ **Again, if anyone has suggestions, I'd love them! Read and review. Y'all are awesome!**_

* * *

A few weeks pass from our visit to the Mage's Guild. In that time, not much has changed, although the rumors of attacks have spread closer to the capitol.

Rhys has continued to help me with my defense training, albeit slowly due to the steady snow and the frigid temperature. I had gotten to the point were I could get myself out of a hold against one opponent but once Rhys got Ren to join us, I found that against two, I was once again as helpless as the day we started. At least it was something.

The darkness inside of me had reared up inside my soul a few more times, including once during a practice session in our shed. The desire to attack Ren had been almost overwhelming and we had been forced to take a break. Rhys, of course, had noticed and asked several times about it.

With only two weeks left in the year and the pending visit from the Irisidean delegates, the castle is a flurry of activity. At least in the Healing Quarters everything is unaltered.

My schedule changes little, although the stress levels seem raised in everyone.

I find myself mostly unaffected until one afternoon when I am called to attend to Prince Siranthen again.

"I received word you required my assistance, my prince?"

Speaking the words aloud still feels barbaric on my tongue. While I have gotten used to- and even somewhat enjoy- the idea of serving in Gallen, I have not grown comfortable addressing those who would be my equals or lessers as my betters.

It is a manageable awkwardness but awkward none-the-less.

Siranthen covers his left arm with a cloth, which I see has already started bleeding through. He smiles self-consciously and nods in acknowledgement of my arrival.

"Ah, yes. Thank you Healer Mina. I, uh… Well, it seems I got clumsy during a bit of swordplay. Do you mind? I have a meeting with my father in an hour. I'd hate to have to face him like this."

I press my lips with the tips of my fingers to stifle my desire to smile at his flustered mannerisms.

Lornen throws a disproving glance my way.

As usual, I ignore it. I still don't get what Tasha sees in him.

"Shall we then, your highness?" I beckon to the seat the prince usually sits in while I administer to his ailments.

.

As I heal him, Siranthen talks to me.

"Do you know much about the other kingdoms?" The question seems to come out of nowhere.

"Um, a little. My mother was from Parth and I was able to learn quite a bit about their particular customs and traditions."

"Ah, yes. A beautiful country. Vinerath and Irisidea in their own way as well."

"I would suppose so," I say, not looking up. Irisidea may be beautiful, but it is also full of ugliness.

"Have you traveled much? Being the Crown Prince and all?" My hand floats over his arm and I feel my energy levels slightly drop as his skin melds itself back together.  
"My father used to let me accompany him on diplomatic missions. Vinerath and Parth an annual trip. Irisidea…Well I haven't been there since I was a young boy."

 _Yes. I remember that boy._

He continues, "I think that might change soon, though."

My heart thumps in my chest. "Oh?"

"A delegation from Irisidea is coming next week. I've heard rumors that the new King may possibly be with them. If he is, there will be talk of a stronger peace alliance and easier travel between the two kingdoms. Sadly, we wont know fully until they arrive."

While I have heard of the delegation coming, hearing that Daroth may be accompanying them stirs something deep within me.

A fear of sorts. But not the kind that sets me shaking and makes me want to dart into the nearest shadow.

"How can you not know?"

"Well, things have been tense for nearly a decade. We are nearly on the brink of another war and with the death of the former King, their princess still missing, and rumors that the Irisideans blame Gallen lets just say it hasn't been good. Our only correspondences have been though letters delivered by armed messengers. From the information we have been able to receive and reply to, King was pondering on joining the delegation himself. There's been no solid answer so now it is only a waiting game."

"Oh." I brush a brown lock from my face and then return to finishing the healing. My attention is no longer on what's left of the wound, however. It is all on Daroth.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump_.

My breathing quickens and my heartbeats race, only this time instead of these being symptoms of fear, they are of anger. I drop my arms and stand.

Daroth will not stop. He will not give up. _I hate him._

My hands are fists at my side now.

"Are you troubled?" Siranthen's words seem strained. As if he's trying not to sound alarmed.

With barely a warning, the darkness in me flares up.

The urge to kill something becomes almost unbearable.

Not this again…

 _I should just end the prying prince's life. He doesn't even know what he is playing with, inviting Daroth here._

Why? Why do I have to deal with _this_ on top of everything!

"Excuse me for a moment, will you?" my voice cracks and I turn away.

Pain rips through my skull and I groan.

"Are you alright, Mina?" I am kneeling on the ground now, my face clasped in my hands. His own hands are resting on my shoulders.

I wish he would stop touching me. It doesn't help.

 _It would be so easy. So easy,_ My mind chants.

 _Just do it, Mina. Kill the Gallens. Kill Siranthen. Just a small tug. One little pull and you could destroy his soul._

I heave in a breath and shrug Siranthen off. "Please. I need a moment"

"Do you need a healer for yourself? This has happened before, hasn't it?"

I look up at him and try not to scowl. If only he knew who I was. If only he knew what I could do. He would stay far away from me.

He would not ask me to tend to him.

"Yes. May I ask your leave, highness? I should really go make a draft for this migraine." The words are clipped and insubordinate. The rational part of my mind is screaming that I should calm down and apologize. The heated, dark corner that gains strength by the minute continues to taunt me.

 _You're too weak, Namina. You have these powers for a reason. Use them._

No. I wont.

Siranthen helps me up and places a hand on my back in a comforting motion. He seems not to have noticed my attitude.

"Yes, by the gods, please do. I'll call on you later."

I bite my lower lip and bow low.

"Thank you"

I walk quickly though the castle hallways, keeping my head down.

Black, inky thoughts still swirl in my head, filling it with hate and bitterness. For Daroth. For Gallen.

But mostly, for myself.

Knowing for sure now that Daroth is to blame does not help. While he is the one who has caused me to become more like him through tying me to his will, I know at their core these thoughts are my own. There is no other voice in my head but my own.

Everything I think, no matter how evil, are of my own divining.

That scares me the most.

These are simply things I used to think about. That the Gallens were my enemies. That they had always been that leering danger out of sight. The stereotypes are gone now. I know my own Irisidea is the true enemy, but somehow whenever I am overtaken by the darkness I find a scapegoat in Gallen.

In Siranthen.

When I am overtaken I almost _want_ to do him what I did to my father.

I _want_ to kill again.

 _Oh, gods I'm going to be sick!_

The thoughts turn my stomach and I rush forward until I am outside in the courtyard, my cloak still in my arms so that the chill grips me in its absence. I turn sharply and vomit into a nearby bush.

It helps clear my head and the darkness abates.

For now.

.

I lean against the counter, letting the warm and time-worn wood brush against the skin of my arms. My latest shift in the infirmary has just ended and now I wait for Tasha to complete hers.

In the last month I have grown to become friends with the other girls. While I still miss Mara and nothing will replace our closeness, having Tasha, Reyna, and Maren as a confidants has been nice.

Percy and Renald? Well, I still don't speak much to them. But when I do, its friendly.

I am distracted with thoughts of what I might be able to purchase with the little money I have saved up when a figure from the corner of my eye startles me.

A cloak-laden man walks through the door on my right and my heart skips a beat. My fingers twitch and I shift into a defensive posture. Friend? Foe?

If I have to, I will attack.

But I don't want to.

"May I help you?" My voice wavers but for the most part stays strong.

The man throws back his hood and brushes the snow from his dark skin. Instantly my heartbeat slows. It is only a friend.

"Ren!" I smile and give a small bow. Ren returns the gesture.

"Hello, Mina! Keeping our Rhys out of trouble?" he says as he unclasps the cloak and shakes it out. The snow attached to the fabric becomes droplets of water on the wooden floors.

"When I can. Though he's been busy the last few days. I suppose that helps to keep him out of trouble too."

We exchange a good laugh at Rhys's expense. Always well worth it.

As the merriment starts to subside, I pry.

"Any news of…the attacks?"

Ren sobers "The raids have gotten closer. Some of the Royal guard has been sent out to neighboring cities to fortify them. This Black Guard is becoming quite the nuisance."

I frown.

"No. I shouldn't say nuisance. They are a plague on Gallen."

"Has there been any luck in stopping them? Or at least finding out the source?"

I know the source, but I don't have proof that it is Daroth.

"Some say they are a renegade group of mercenaries bent on stirring up trouble in the four kingdoms. Others believe they may be part of an attack from one of the other three kingdoms. It seems no kingdom has been safe, however. If it is one of the three, they sure don't mind attack their own."

Part of me wonders why Daroth would attack small Irisidean villages.

For practice?

He had done worse in the name of 'experimenting' with his power. My mind wanders back to a few instances were I was shown just how far he had gone. Hundreds of beggars and peasants had been torn from the streets of Renor, just so Daroth could use them to see the extent of our bond and his now stronger power. From mind manipulation to ripping the very soul out of a person, he had been able to test it all.

Ren continues, "From what I've heard, these Black Guards are almost unearthly. They fight with the strength of three men each and they have no sympathies or known weaknesses. Most men fear the day when they put a sword through flesh. These men seem to enjoy it."

I swallow and place a hand on my chest. The words bring up so many dark memories.

Even just the thought of the past makes me sick again.

I swallow back a gag and speak. "I would put my money on Irisidea. I cannot say how I know this, just that I do."

Ren is quiet for a moment, but then stares at me, hard.

"That is an interesting observation and guess, Mina. To be honest, I think the same."

A bit of relief sinks in. I am not alone in this.

"What of the King? Has he made plans to confront the other kingdoms?"

"I do not think so. There has just been so much with the preparations for the Irisidean delegates and all. My last shift was with the King's personal guard. Meeting after meeting has been held and the whole of his council is at high stress. No one wants the Irisideans to come, but no one will admit it."

"No one? Truly?"

Ren shakes his head. "You can see it in their countenance. They all fear the visit, but they all know that it is in Gallen's best interest. This could be the start of actual peace. Or the start of the war. Let us pray to the gods for the former."

I smile and nod. The Irisidean delegates will change everything here. And if Daroth is among them…

I can only hope that his intentions are for peace at the moment. I find I would rather him be coming here to find me than to cause some abhorrent event to come upon Gallen.

At least I can run again.

Gallen is less suspecting of his power.

"I may talk to the Prince next time I attend him. If he knows how even the guards and other workers here at the palace feel, he may be able to persuade the council to set up some precautions. I don't know what, but still…He can let the council know that their hesitance is shared by most everyone else."

I fist my hands at my side. The wrath boils up in my heart, but I push it down. I don't need any dark thoughts invading my somewhat clear mind right now.

What I need is a plan. A plan to help Gallen. A plan to stop Daroth.

For good, hopefully.

I unclench my fists and find that my hands do not shake as much as they normally do.

Thinking on the last few months, I have realized that my fear of Daroth has turned to anger. Could that anger be what has fueled the dark part of my soul?

Am I corrupting myself?

I take a breath. I cannot face this darkness alone. I need someone who can be there in case I give in…

I need…

I need Rhys.

"Do you know when Rhys's shift is complete?"

"He will finish near the midnight bell. Are you going to talk to him about this? Because I really believe you should. He trusts you. It's crazy how much he actually values your opinion being a woman and all. I mean no offence of course."

I almost bark out a laugh. "That's quite alright. You'd be amazed how little we women value your opinion as well."

He smiles.

"You sound like my wife."

"She must be a strong woman"

Ren laughs "The strongest."

"Mina?" Tasha walks into the workroom. "Ah, Ren! How are you?"

Ren bows. "Cold. Is Percy here? I actually came to ask a few questions that my wife had for him."

"He is in the infirmary. You may go in there if you wish." Tasha grabs her cloak and turns to me. "Shall we head out?"

"Yes!"

"And where are you ladies heading?"

"Into town. Tasha has a few errands and she asked that I come with her."

"Ah, well, I will go find Percy. Stay out of trouble now. The both of you"

Tasha smirks "We will. You do the same."

Before we leave, Tasha turns and calls back to Ren.

"Oh, and Ren? Clean up this water, will you? We don't appreciate people dragging in half of the capitols snow"

Ren only shrugs with a good-humored look and walks through the door to the infirmary.

.

Later that night, after my second shift, I run outside and wait by the training yard.

The whole time I had seemed focused on healing those who lay ill in the infirmary, I was actually trying to sort out what I would say to Rhys.

I am still going to tell him, but how?

Every situation played through my head had a chance to end wrong. Every one of them.

I rub my hands together and breath on them to keep them warm as the castle bell chimes the midnight hour. The guards who have been on duty should be returning to their quarters any moment and, thanks to Ren, I know Rhys will be among them.

If I don't talk to him now, I may never have the bravery to tell him again.

The sheen of long white hair catches my attention.

"Rhys!" I hop up and down and wave my arm to catch his attention. Then I find myself getting very embarrassed. Yes, I need to speak with him. Yes, it is urgent, but now, I have half of the King's guard staring at me and whispering to one another. Some men laugh a little.

Rhys turns as he finally sees me and I can't help but to feel both a sense of peace and dread as he smiles lopsidedly at me.

This could change everything.

 _Hell, what am I thinking? This will change everything._ Rhys may still have his secrets but can I share the things I hold deep inside? They could tear everything apart in less than a heartbeat.

I smile somewhat grimly and try to keep the heat from reddening my cheeks more than the cold already has.

I hug my cloak tighter as Rhys trudges over through the snow.

"Mina! I haven't seen you in days."

"I know. It's been quite busy in the Healing Quarters. Can we talk?"

There is no hesitation as Rhys replies.

"Yes. Of course. What can I do for you?"

This is it.

This is when I will tell him _everything._

He needs to know. So he can help me. So he can protect himself. So I can redeem myself even in this small measure.

 _Tell him, Mina. Just. Tell. Him._

"Do you have duty tomorrow?" The words spill out of my mouth instead. I almost groan with my cowardice. Why can't I just say it?

 _I'm the runaway Princess Namina._

"I actually don't." He stands there, his expression all but asking me what I am trying to get across. I look beyond his strong form and see that some of the other soldiers have not left the cold for the warmth of indoors just yet and watch us with curiosity. Maybe, it's a good thing I don't have the courage to tell him at this very moment.

"I- I have a morning shift in the greenhouse but near high noon I will be done. Can you meet me in the practice shed then? I have something I want to talk to you about, but I think it should be done away from prying ears"

Rhys touches my arm through my cloak. "I'll be there. I have to go make a report, but we will talk. Tomorrow. I look forward to it."

"Good." I feel the corners of my mouth raise, even through my apprehension.

Tomorrow.

I will tell him tomorrow.


	25. Chapter 25

**_Eleven months Before_**

After the ball, the pretenses dropped and I saw much more of the true Daroth I had either not seen before or had chosen to ignore.

The man I had loved had all but disappeared.

No.

He hadn't disappeared.

He had really never existed at all.

I just never had noticed.

The change in our relationship was slow at first. We acted for the most part like everything was normal and he hadn't just admitted to using me. I still felt drawn to him and he to me, but _something_ was missing.

My heart was no longer in it.

The longer time went by, the easier it became to ignore. What were my sentiments anyway? They only got in the way. I obeyed like he wanted for a few months and almost had convinced myself that he did love me again in his own way. I did everything I could to please him. He used me and drained me, yes, but his words of affection did not falter. Only I saw the truth in them, then. I saw that he was in love with me because I was a powerful piece of property to him. Yes, there was a longing for me but it was all of the flesh or of magic.

Even my father and uncle seemed pleased at my newfound obedience and began to pay more attention to me in a kinder manner.

Those few months were numbing in their own special way.

It was only after the other three Advisors had been killed and excuses had been made to the people that I fully snapped.

I still remembered the exact moment as clear as water.

Four months after the ball, the King stood on his parapet addressing the people.

The most important of the court, Daroth, myself, my father Karthon, Lord Rane, and a few other higher Lords and Ladies stood with him.

Daroth stood next to me, his arm occasionally brushing mine with any movement that he made. High Prince Karthon stood a step ahead of us but still behind King Signor. Everyone else abided behind us.

"People of Irisidea, we come to you this day to announce a tragedy and a joy. As you have known, the Advisor's council has been aging for some time. We received word not days ago that the last two Advisors have passed on. While this is cause for mourning we ask that you not let it depress you. High Prince Karthon and myself have felt that this is a sign from the gods for change."

I glanced up at Daroth who watched King Signor's back intently. While his features were solemn, I couldn't help but notice the life in his eyes. He was _enjoying_ this! I took a small step to the side to put distance between us.

He noticed and grabbed my hand, never moving his gaze from Signor.

"Last night, we dissolved the Advisor's Council entirely." This received a gasp from the crowd.

I bit back my own.

"Instead of a council, we feel the god's blessing and will to appoint just one High Advisor. One man who will help us lift Irisidea ever higher. He will fulfill all the duties the council once held and also be responsible for any and all political happenings. A man from the same place as many of you. "

 _No. No, it cannot be._

"We present to you one of your own: the High Advisor Daroth."

Daroth let go of my hand and stepped forward. My hand flew to my mouth and I nearly cried out in indignation.

I pulled my lips taut as I watched the proceedings. He stepped forward, calm and poised, and took his place beside my uncle. Daroth spoke to the crowd then, offering his condolences for the loss of the other Advisors and his word that on his honor he would serve Irisidea with all he had.

My stomach turned as I watched.

My father stepped back, coming to stand beside me. He leaned towards me.

"Your Advisor has done good for himself. You should congratulate him on his successes."

The fire of rebellion that had been smothered for some time flared to life.

I glared at my father as he stepped forward and returned to his place.

When Daroth finished his rhetoric he returned to my side and went for my hand once more.

I yanked it from his reach and left the parapet.

My uncle continued speaking to the people, explaining more the reasons why this was happening and how this would not affect much. I didn't care. I was done here.

"Namina" Daroth whispered in warning. I ignored him. Lord Rane glared at me as I passed. He reached for my arm to stop me.

I snarled.

"You touch me and I will slap you." Reluctantly, he let me pass.

As it turned out, Daroth and Rane had become good friends over the last few years without my even knowing. I didn't care. They were both malevolent in my book.

I made it a total of fifteen steps inside the palace before a firm hand landed on my shoulder and spun me around.

"Namina!" Daroth stood before me, outraged and shocked.

"What is it, _High Adivsor_?" I spat.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I am retiring to my chambers. I seem to be tired from all this bullshit."

"You will return with me now and you will cease with that vulgar language." His words were deadly calm, his eyes ablaze.

"I think that you will find that I won't. I'm done, Daroth. I cannot pretend this is any more than what it is."

"And what is that?"

"A game that I will never win. I no longer wish for your affection, Daroth. I no longer care. I will be requesting to leave the palace forthwith. May you be happy in your new position." I turned. He grabbed my upper arm.

"You will find, Princess, that you will be denied that request. Your soul is bound to mine and I need you close."

"Let go, Advisor." I clawed at his hand.

"Will you not cooperate? Needn't I remind you that I can make your life miserable for you if I wish it so?"

"You have no power over me."

Daroth laughed and twisted his free hand. My body went weak and I fell into him, only held up by his hold.

"I think you will find I have plenty. I only haven't used it because you have been so compliant."

"Well that ends today" I pushed back, gaining my strength. I pulled from his embrace and walked off. He let me.

I had stopped caring about trying to win the affection of Daroth.

I was done obeying.

I began to fight with everything I had.

Yes, then he did make my life a living hell, but it was worth it.

The threats, slaps. alienation, spells, and other forms of Daroth "controlling" me were nothing. Nothing in comparison to the abhorrence that was to come. Nearly a year would go by in our tug-of-war for control before he would have me do the unthinkable and cause me to break.

 ** _Nine Months Before_**

"How are your studies, Namina?" my father asked coolly. His fingers idly played with the top of his goblet. I had been called in to his office only moments before.

I sat at the edge of my seat, ready to leave at a moments notice. It was when my father was relaxed that he was at his most dangerous level. It meant he had already considered whatever this battle would be a victory for himself.

"Fine. Thank you, Prince Karthon"

"Surely you must have more to say than that. Things seem tense between you and your advisor"

"He is not my advisor. He is a thorn in my side."

"Ah, but you are his princess."

"He threatens and humiliates me."

"He loves you very much." My father watched me with a predator's gaze, like a hawk circling above a field mouse.

I should have treaded lightly and held my tongue.

Should have…  
"Do we need to beat around the bush, High Prince? I refuse to help him if this is what you are trying to get at. I know that you know about the vow. I don't know if Daroth has informed you, but I'm finished with you all."

My father chuckled low and deep.

"I've heard all about your ridiculous little outburst."

I looked away and folded my arms. The last thing I wanted was to be patronized.

He continued, "Oh, Namina. We only have Irisidea's best interest at heart. With you cooperating with us, we can bring in a new era of power. Think of all the good we can do. That you can do. That you _will_ do." The words were spoken with a father's love that was all but real, but the message was clear: _Obey me._

I looked back. "A new era? You've killed six innocent men to raise one man to power. You let him _use_ me. And now you are asking me to cooperate so that you can conquer other kingdoms around us and make Irisidea an empire."

Karthon sat his drink down slowly and cupped my chin. I froze. This was the equivalent of the hawk swooping down with talons out. Any sudden moments would mean retribution I did not want to pay.

His voice was steel. "I am not asking, dear daughter, I am commanding it. You are the future queen. You have just as much responsibility to help the kingdom as the rest of us."

I clenched my fingers in my lap to keep them from shaking. "This is not helping the kingdom. Helping the kingdom would be erasing poverty or making peace with our neighbors or-"

Karthon shook his hea, laughed, and leaned back in his chair, dropping his hand from my chin as he did so. "Poor naïve girl. This is why you need the High Advisor at your side."  
"I need no one, father. What I need is to be sent away from Renor so I do not get in the way. Banish me if you must. Tell the people I am unfit or unwell." I was moments away from begging prostrate on the ground. I would have if I had thought it would make a difference.

"You cannot leave, Namina. I've already made an agreement for your hand"

My hand? Did he mean in marriage?

"I do not know what you mean"

He steepled his fingers and smiled.

It was as if I could feel the talons biting into my neck.

"You always were a simple one. It's all that Parth in you. I shall say this only once: High Advisor Daroth has asked for your hand and I have given it."

"What?!" The news hit me like a slap in the face. I shot up, the movement knocking over my father's goblet.

Red wine created a bloodlike spot on the carpet beneath our feet.

My father let out an irritated puff of air.

"You are forthwith betrothed to Advisor Daroth. A date will be set within the year."

"You cant!" I covered my mouth the instant the words were out. To speak to my father in such a way was near to treason in his eyes.

"You will not tell me what I can and cannot do, daughter!" He bellowed and stood.

I shrank away and stumbled into one of his bookcases.

"Please father! I only mean-"

"Silence! You will marry him and you will be grateful. You've already sullied yourself with the advisor so consider yourself lucky that I do not punish you for that insolence, but instead grant you this blessing. Now, get out before I whip you."

Tears pricked my eyes as I mustered what dignity I had left and walked from his office.

 ** _Eight Months Before_**

"Since you've been so obliging these past months and nothing your father says has changed that, I brought you a present."

Daroth pressed a slender scroll into my hands, sealed with the royal crest. I glared up at him but opened it and read.

 _Oh Gods. This cant be…_

"What is this?!" The paper was signed by my father and the king and contained within its words a contract.

A contract about me.

"The official betrothal and the passing of responsibility of all your actions to me. I now dictate your every move, princess."

"Passing of-?! So they just peddled me to you like chattel?"

He touched my cheek and I flinched away.

"You are still the princess and you still belong to the Irisidean Royal family. Only now I will have a say in the details of your life. Think of me as your superior. In due time, we will marry, and when your Father and the king pass away, we will rule together."

I dropped the scroll and watched it slide down my lap to the ground. The urge to kick it away pulsed through me but I resisted.

"You mean you will rule. I'm just a placeholder to keep the people satisfied."

He sat beside me and cupped my chin.

"Come now, Namina. You know you are much more than that. I am sorry that it has come to this but something must be done. You've been nothing but trouble since your birthday."

And he had been nothing but brutal. The wonderful man had turned into a beast. Words of affection had turned taunting and cruel. Touches grew hungrier and he had already hit me twice. He was turning into my father.

I looked at him then. How had this been the man I was in love with. A strong part of me still was drawn to him. The urge to stroke his cheek burned in my fingers. I clenched my fist to still it. I knew he felt my desire too. While I still wanted him to hold me and tell me he loved and needed me, I resolved to never go back.

I would stay true to that resolve.

"And you wonder why. Ever since…ever since I gave myself to you, all you've done is manipulate and use me. And I've let you! I made my decision when you received your promotion Daroth. I'm done with you." I turned my head.

"Don't test me." His words were clipped.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Advisor." My sarcasm was thick. "Now if you excuse me, I have better things to do than sit here and take this shit" I pulled away and left the library.

"Watch your language!" I heard behind me.

 _"I'm watching it, damn you!"_ I screamed in return.


	26. Chapter 26

**So here it is: the chapter where Mina spills the beans. Don't worry. There are still details you all won't know yet (because where's the fun in revealing everything at once? You have to wait for the flashbacks to get the whole picture! Don't worry. Its close.)  
** **MORE AUTHORS NOTE AT BOTTOM**

* * *

"Do you remember when you told me to tell you everything when I was ready?" I ask, rubbing my arms.

Even in the shed, away from the bite of the wind, it is freezing. I squeeze my owl feather cloak tighter to my body.

 _Give me strength to form the words I need to say,_ I plea silently.

"I do"

He says as he leans back on his arms to look up at the sky through the pockmarked roof. I glance up as well. Most of the sky is grey, but small swaths of blue shine through the thin overcast.

 _Just tell him. He needs to know._

I decide to start slow.

"Well, I need to leave the capitol. And I need to do it in the next week."

He turns his full attention to me, "What are you saying, Mina?"

"I cannot be here when the Irisidean party comes. "

"And why ever not?"

The words come out in one big rush, "Because-my-betrothed-will possibly-be-among-them-and-he-is-hunting-me."

Rhys furrows his brow.

"Hunting you? I thought you said he had no way of finding you. And why would he be with an Irisidean delegation?"

I take a deep breath. "I lied. He's found a way."

"Surely we can set up precautions and inform the party that your betrothed should have nothing to do with you."

"Ughh. It won't be that easy. It will _never_ be that easy." Rhys sits up straight and I cant but help rub my temples.

This is going exactly how I want. Not.

"Well, why not? I can make sure he doesn't get near you. I can keep one of my men with you if we have to. A personal guard of sorts." He offers.

"Rhys, none of that will work."

"And why ever not?" I can see the frustration in his eyes now. All he wants is the truth and he wants it straight.

Fine. Here it goes.

"Because he is _the leader_ of the Irisidea."

There is a tense moment of silence.

Rhys blinks several times as the puzzle pieces in his mind beginning to click into place.

"King Daroth?!" he asks incredulously. A small mocking laugh follows.

"Surely you don't mean…"

"I do, Rhys. I do mean King Daroth."

I bite my lip as he realizes how much of a liar I am. How much he has been wrong to trust me.

"Wait…but that would make you…make you Princess Namina." His eyes widen.

Confusion and anger and betrayal cross Rhys's face one after another. Finally he settles into a demeanor of calm coldness.

"Please tell me you aren't her. This is just a joke, right? Mi-" he never finishes my name. As if even possible, his eyes get even wider.

The pause is deafening.

"Oh Gods!" he puts his hand across his forehead and laughs in a manner that makes me flinch. "Mina…Namina… it's a wonder no one caught on sooner."

I wrap my arms around myself and mumble, "I know. It was a stupid idea using a name so close."

Anger flashes quick and he leans forward, his voice now steely.

"No, what was stupid was keeping the truth from me. What was stupid was coming here to Gallen where you are practically a mortal enemy. The enemy princess living right under our noses! And as a healer no less! Tending to our own royalty!" He throws his hands in the air in exasperation and glances around wildly. His voice had risen in his furious response.

My jaw drops at his accusatory argument.

"Are you implying I would hurt them?" I ask, at first shocked but then remembering the dark thoughts that have plagued me every time I attend any of the Gallen family. I feel immense guilt settle in my chest _. I could easily have hurt them. I've almost done it several times now._

"This is no light matter, Princess."

I turn sharply. It's my turn to be upset. "Don't call me that, Rhys. I don't want anything to do with that cursed title."

A moment of silence.

Then he addresses me again, calm once more.

The panic still lingers in his eyes.

"So, your betrothed, he is King Daroth. And he is a _soul sorcerer._ "

I nod, the verbal acknowledgement of that awful truth unwilling to form.

"And he is coming here. To Gallen. To sign a 'peace treaty'"

I roll my eyes. "He knows I'm here. The negotiations are just a way to come without making a huge scene. It may be part of a grander plan as well but I'm not sure. I fear he has several plans up his sleeve. Some that he hasn't informed anyone yet."

"The Black Guard?"

"I told you they belong to Irisidea. They are Daroth's personal sentinels and are brutal and magicked not to feel compassion or pity on anything. He used to use them on small outlying villages in Irisidea to collect taxes and to do what he called 'practice'."

"What was he practicing?"

"He never told me."

Rhys pulls a hand through his hair and moves to stand.

"I need a minute."

I reach up to place a hand on his arm but he pushes me away in such an unkind manner that my hand drops uselessly back into my lap at the same speed my heart drops in my chest.

I stay seated on the cold hard ground as he rises.

"Rhys, please don't go."

His eyes meet mine with such a sharpness I have to remember to draw breath.

"I need a minute." He repeats more sternly. Then he walks out into the training yard.

"Rhys!" I call after him. He ignores me. My eyes water and I feel a tear make a path down my reddened cheeks.

I should go after him. I should stop him and explain. He only knows part of the truth.

 _He will return_ , I tell myself. _He said he needed just a moment._

I wrap my arms around my knees and hug them close to my body.

Minutes pass.

They turn into nearly an hour.

 _Oh Gods. He's not coming back, is he?_ I wait a few minutes longer and rub my hands across my face before finally giving up. He shan't be coming back.

With a heavy heart I stand and leave the shed.

As I walk back to the Healing Quarters I pray silently to the gods that Rhys will keep his mouth shut.

.

All the rest of the day, I keep replaying the whole conversation in my head. Reyna and Maren notice how distracted I am in the infirmary.

"Alright, what is it?" Maren asks, hands on hips and her curly blonde hair framing her face like a mane. She looks like a lion, fierce and determined.

"Just an argument with Rhys." I say. It's the truth. Well, half of it.

"I've never seen an argument shake anyone up this bad."

"I'm fine. I'll get over it" I move to help another patient but I can't help but miss the glance that passes between the two girls.

For the next several hours I get lost in my work, letting the need of those around me replace the thoughts of Rhys and my own soiled past.

I help patient after patient, taking no breaks.

It is only when Reyna places her hand on my shoulder that I come out of the stupor I've worked myself into.

"Mina, its time to go home."

I look up from the poultice I had been working on to find the room nearly empty, save for the few men and a woman who will stay overnight.

I suck in my lips and nod, pushing my work to the side. While I have blocked what has happened from my mind while I work, now that I am done I feel a sense of clarity settle over me. I know what I must do.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened between you and Rhys?"

"No, its fine. Thank you, Reyna. I think I'll just go take care of it right now."

She smiles and pats my arm. "Good luck"

I return the gesture and reply "Thanks."

As I slip my cloak back on I am filled with determination.

It's time to finish what I've started. If Rhys will not come find me, I will go find him. He _will_ hear me out.

.

"Where is Rhys?" I barge into the living quarters of the soldiers. There are several men milling about but no one answers me. They just stare. It almost makes me want to laugh.

Almost.

"I need to speak to Farrowslake. It's an urgent manner. Please." The hysteria creeping into my voice shocks one of the men out of their stupor: a lanky ginger man with close-set eyes.

"He has a private room: the second to last door on the left."

I nod to show my thanks and push past the men without so much as another glance.

"I don't think you should go in there." Someone says. I ignore them, my old ways of rebelliousness returning to me in my fury. They have no say in what I should and should not do.

I shoot all the men a glare before turning back to the door and knocking loudly.

No answer. I huff and knock again.

Still, no one comes to the door.

"Miss, I would advise-" I do not let the man finish. I simply push the door open. Rhys sits on his bed with his eyes trained to something outside his window.

When he turns at the new intruder in his room, his whole form tightens. The coward.

"Rhys Farrowslake! I need to speak to you!"

I step into his room and shut the door behind me before meeting his startled gaze and staring him down. He recovers from his shock in an instant.

"You should not be here, Healer Mina." Rhys says curtly.

"Yes, it's improper and all that shit. Spare me your etiquette." I roll my eyes to emphasize how little I care.

I get no response back.

I grit my teeth. "Give me five minutes to tell you my story. If you deem me undesirable to befriend after that I will never bother you again. Just please, Rhys. Let me explain."

I sit on the edge of his bed. Rhys shifts back only slightly but our legs still touch.

A tense moment passes. I could cut it with my knife if I had it on me.

Finally, he nods. "Go on, Princess. The floor is yours."

So, I tell him my story from the very beginning.

I start with how I had fallen in love with Daroth and how I had given myself to him. I explain the soul binding and the deaths that ultimately came from giving over my power to him. I explain how Daroth then turned on me and how I became a common prisoner in my own palace. I leave nothing out. I try to recall as many instances of my interactions with Daroth, as awful as they had then become.

I stumble over my words and nearly choke when I tell him about my part in my father and uncle's death, but I don't leave anything out. Telling this truth for the first time, I feel the pressure and pain lift a little. The guilt still stabs me deep, but knowing that someone other than Daroth and I knows about our transgression leaves me with a sense of recompense.

I fill in the gaps of what has conspired since: How I have since learned that the binding was not a Mage's Vow but something more sinister and ancient, How Daroth has harassed me in my dreams, the threats, the darkness, everything. I share it all with him.

He needs to know it all before he passes his judgment.

When I am done, I wait.

"What say you?" I ask quietly after a long while. I pick at my skirts but pause when I realize how close my fingers are to brushing Rhys's leg.

After another moment, he shifts and moves off the bed. Then he is towering over me, staring me down.

I cannot look at him. Cannot make myself meet his eyes.

I expect him to walk out.

Or order me to leave.

I probably shouldn't have come here anyway.

"Damn you Mina." he murmurs and brushes his hands through his hair. I glance up and meet his stare.

"Please. Just tell me if you hate me. I need to know." My words were barely a whisper.

He kneels until he is eyelevel with me.

"Hate you? Mina," Rhys takes one of my hands in his, "I don't hate you. I'm maddened that you've put yourself and others in such danger, but I think I am beginning to understand you more. No wonder you cowered so much when I first met you. You were abused."

Hearing those three words, I can feel the truth of them to my core. The verbal slaps, the manipulation of my mind and body, and even the unwanted attention and affection…

Still, I shrug. "Others have it worse. I've actually been quite blessed."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that you had it good. Abuse is abuse." _True._

I blink rapidly, pushing back the dam of emotions that threaten my calm state.

"So you aren't mad?"

Rhys chuckles deep. "Oh, I'm royally pissed at you. But that doesn't mean I will ever hate you. I just needed time today. I still need time. Can we talk in a few days when my thoughts are clearer? You've given me a lot to ponder."

"I have greenhouse duty again in two days. After that?"

"Well, I'm off then actually. I'll come help you. Just give me this time alone to mull over what you've told me. We will come up with a plan to get you away from your King, if he even comes. Can you do that? Can you give me that time?"

"Yes. Yes I can. I was just so afraid that…that…"

"That I would tell? That I wouldn't trust you?"

"Yes, but its more than that. I thought you had developed this deep aversion to me. You were so upset in the shed and you just left me, Rhys."

Speaking the words makes me feel like I am living it over again: watching him walk out and leaving me colder than the snow.

"To be honest, I couldn't look at you. Even now it's hard"

I bite down on my lower lip. "I should have told you earlier."

"Yes, you should have. But I understand why you hid it. Just give me this time."

He squeezes my hand. Something in me stirs and I stand.

"I'm sorry. I should leave. This is very improper isn't it?"

A bit of humor returns to Rhys's eyes but it is forced. "Oh, you have no idea. The rumors that must be circulating are sure to be good."

"Rhys!" I laugh.

"Everyone probably thinks I've been pleasuring myself with you, you know."

"Don't start with me, Farrowslake." I hold up a finger, warning him, but I can't help the deep blush that colors my cheeks. I'm both amused and mortified at the thought.

 _Of course he would still be able to joke, even as he turns me out._

Our amusement is strained but it's still genuine. I won't lose him just yet.

I clear my throat and try to gain some composure back. "I-I'll see you in the greenhouse, then." I manage.

"Aye" he nods and ushers me out the door.

* * *

 **And I hope everyone is still enjoying the story.  
Truth be told, all this is building up to the second half of the story where everything so far will hit the fan. (Only 14 more chapters left)**

 **I do have a question though!  
** **DO YOU THINK I should split the story into two separate stories? Or make this a LONG story (like 80 chapters)  
** **I'll be making a poll on my bio. If you could answer it would be great!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A very dialogue heavy chapter. Not much as far as action but it definitely sets the stage... Enjoy!**

* * *

While I have gone more than just two days from talking to Rhys before, having to wait after everything I have told him almost seems to kill me.

By some miracle of the gods I make it through those two days. Stealing into the kitchens and grabbing a bottle of wine helps ease the pain.

The night before he is to meet me in the greenhouse, I can't help but to pace back and forth in my room.

What will he say?

I fear Rhys has decided I am not worth his time. Or that he needs to turn me in to the King.

I honestly don't know which outcome is worse.

Groaning aloud, I sit on my bed before pulling my owl feather cloak to my chest. My fingers brush the softness and my mind wanders back to the menagerie. The place where I would go and just think. My safe haven. Even going there in my mind helps calm me a little.

"I could really use your magic right now", I whisper into the feathers before falling back and staring up at the wooden ceiling. A clutch the bottle of wine I've stolen by the stem and occasionally take a swig of it.

And while I feel like I will never be able to sleep again, I end up drifting away within the hour.

.

That night, I am dragged into another dream, despite the efforts against them.

He is getting stronger.

"I'm done with your tricks, Daroth. Leave me alone!" He seems smug this evening.

Something is off. We are in my rooms once more, I near my armoire and he near the door.

"Oh, but I brought a friend to our party tonight" Daroth says with a smile. "She was dying to come" He gestures to his right, but the view is obscured by my bed.

I take a cautious step forward, just enough to see what he is trying to show me.

When it comes into view my hands fly to my mouth and I can do nothing but stare, horrified, at the figure crumpled next to Daroth.

My lady in waiting, Mara, her throat cut.

He's slaughtered her.

My legs give out and I fall to my knees.

"What's more is that I had her family killed as well. Loose ends always tend to get messy if left alone. Pity. Lord Wilden was such a useful ally." He examines his nails. My own dig into my palms. I want to gut him. I want to cry.

I don't know what exactly I feel.

Horror mostly.

I heave in a deep breath and stand, trying to push back my scream. It claws at my throat mercilessly, begging for release.

I want to run forward and cradle Mara in my arms. I want the proof of her demise before I accept it, but I know Daroth will not allow me to have such a luxury, even in these dreams. My gaze goes from her body to Daroth.

Those blue eyes meet mine once more, as fierce and cruel as ever. Daroth studies me for a moment as if gaging what I might do next. Then he speaks calmly and rationally, as if he hasn't just murdered someone and then boasted about it. "Last chance, Princess. The longer you hide from me, the more people will suffer. Do us all a favor and return to your crown. Irisidea needs their queen. And I need your power."

"If you can reach me in these dreams can't you just use my power from here? Run me dry for all I care, just stop hurting those I care about." I mean it too. This is all too much. He can take my damn power if it means him staying away.

He shakes his head. "I can't reach your magic here, only you, and I want both. That's the point, little bird. You belong at my side."

"Please" I beseech. "Stop this. I'm begging you. We can come to some sort of agreement."

He ignores my petition. "I'm feeling quite generous tonight, despite your actions. If you surrender now, I'll be forgiving. But if I have to search you out, you will watch anyone you've ever given a courteous thought die a slow death."

My blood boils.

"Does that include you?" I bite.

He laughs darkly.

"Do you know what I love about all your snide little comments the most? The fact that it means I've struck a chord. You act all hard and fearless but I know you, Namina. You are the pathetic girl you always were."

My upper lip curls in disgust and I look away as I fold my arms across my chest in defiance. "Whatever."

"I will not be visiting you again in your dreams. The next time I see you, it will be in the flesh. It is your choice if you want mercy. If not…well, you can see the consequences for yourself." he nudges the lifeless form of Mara with a foot to finish his warning. I cringe.

"No." It comes out weak. Weak, but resolute. Daroth seems not to care that I have refused once more. He almost seems pleased at the idea.

"Fine. If that is your decision so be it. No mercy it is. But before I end our little visit…" He says the last few words silkily even as he stalks across the room and grabs my arm, pulling me towards him. I fall into his chest.

Growling, I move to push him away. He only backs me into the armoire.

"What are y-" He cuts off my question with his mouth firmly on mine. The familiar rush of warmth and wanting spreads through my body, followed by the chill of my revulsion, as he kisses me quick and deep. His fingers tangle themselves in my hair. Then, he pulls his lips away, trailing them along my jaw to my ear slowly. I feel his hot breath graze my cheek. He holds the back of my neck, keeping me immobile.

I wait, wide eyed and frozen for the words I never see coming.

"I know you are in Gallen, Princess." he hisses. "And I am coming for you"

.

I wake up unable to fully catch my breath. Tears streak down my cheeks and into my already soaked pillow.

 _He knows._

 _He knows!_

 _…and Mara!_

Another sob racks my chest. Mara, my lady in waiting. My best and only friend from Irisidea. She is gone.

I want to morn her death, but I don't know how. I want to avenge her.

 _The bastard. The monster. The coward._

Does he really feel so threatened by me that he has to resort to killing those I love?

I take another shaky breath and glance around wildly. The bottle of wine is on the floor, the contents soaking into the wood.

My room suddenly feels suffocating. I need air.

I grab my cloak in haste and throw it over my nightgown before running out into the early morning frost.

 _Why? Why can he not leave me alone?!_ Thoughts of Daroth and Mara pound around in my skull as I walk down the hall from my room and out the door into the still dark part of morning.

I decide to take a brisk walk around the castle grounds. As I turn the corner past the Healing Quarters I see two of the guards on duty and bow as I pass.

"Healer Mina?" one of the soldiers addresses me.

"Yes" I pause, surprised to be addressed. I pray he cannot see my blotchy and stained face.

"I thought that might be you. Looking for Rhys?"

"No. I'm just taking a quick walk. I couldn't sleep and I needed to clear my head."

"In this frigid dawn?"

"The cold air helps." I grip my cloak tighter. I should have worn more than just my nightgown. Its both not enough and too improper.

"Well, Rhys is guarding the King's chambers right now but I can go relieve him for you. I know you both are…close."

"Its fine, really."

The guard smiles mischievously. "If you say so Healer Mina."

I roll my eyes and continue my walk.

Rumors…

As I round the corner, movement from above catches my eye. I glance up to one of the stained glass windows in the guest quarters of the castle and for a moment I think I catch a glimpse of movement.  
Someone else must be restless this morning as well.

.

When I later arrive for my shift in the greenhouse, Rhys is already there, watering plants.

Maren winks at me and I just pull a face in return. She knows as well as anyone that Rhys is my friend.

Nothing more.

If one more person makes a comment or winks at me I swear I'll pull their soul out just for spite. And I know for once this is purely my thought, not the influence of Daroth's darkness.

I finish tying my apron on and pick up a watering pail before going to Rhys's side. He pushes a cluster of branches aside with his left and waters with his right.

"Good morn to you, Mina." He says with briskness.

"How are you today?" I ask though I am afraid of what he might say.

"Better. I've mulled over the situation. We will talk about it later." His words still feel distant. As if he has come to terms with the idea of me being the Irisidean Princess but he still hates the idea. He isn't the only one.

"I'd appreciate that."

We work in silence for a good half-hour. It isn't until Maren leaves the greenhouse that we speak again.

"I heard you were outside before sunrise this morning. Any particular reason?" Rhys asks without really looking up. I look around before answering his inquiry to make sure we are truly alone.

"It's Daroth."

It feels so nice telling Rhys straightforward. I almost relish in the feeling of it. That is until something in his countenance darkens. He still has not even looked at me yet.

This is still too fresh.

"What of him?" the question is like a blade: quick and deep.

"I had another vision last night. Daroth taunted me and said he knows I'm in Gallen. I am positive he shall be with the delegation now. That and…"

I bite my lip. If I say the words aloud, will I break?

"And what?" Rhys finally meets my eyes. He's worried.

"He's killed my friend. My lady in waiting, Mara. Because of me, she is dead."

Rhys places a sympathetic hand on my shoulder "Oh, Mina..."

"I'm fine really." My bottom lip quivers and in an instant I am pulled into an embrace. Rhys wraps his cloak around me and holds me close. I still hold the water pail in my hands, but I lean into him anyway and breathe in the soap and leather scent of his royal uniform.

"We will find a way to end this." He rubs my back.

Somehow, just in this simple embrace I feel comforted. Things still feel bleak, but Rhys's words from months ago echo in my head: _You are not alone._ No matter how shocked he may be at my identity and no matter how hard it is for him to accept it, he still has stayed by my side. He has not abandoned me yet.

"Umm, am I interrupting here?"

We pull away from each other in an instant and I turn to find Maren, her head cocked and a sly smile on her face.

Rhys clears his throat.

"Rhys was…"

"Oh, I saw" she says naughtily, one hand on her hip. I look up to Rhys for help but he has returned to watering the row we stand in. I watch as he rubs the back of his neck.

It is bright red.

Part of me is glad I am not the only who can get embarrassed so easily.

I stare Maren down. As much as I love her, I need her to back off for now so I pull her to the side. "What is it?" she asks.

"I received news that a dear childhood friend of mine just died."

Her humor drops so fast that guilt coats my insides. "Oh, I didn't know. I'm so sorry Mina."

"Its okay." I force a smile and place the pail down on the nearby table. "I'm nearly over it."

A huff from behind tells me Rhys is listening and he knows its not true.

I motion towards the white haired oaf.

"I should probably get back to helping him…"

Maren nods and smiles albeit tentatively. It seems I've killed her teasing mood.

I'm relieved and I feel awful for it.

.

The shift passes quickly, although there is now tension between Maren and I.

I sigh. Just another bridge I need to repair.

My selfishness will ruin all my friendships if I am not careful.

When we leave the greenhouse I motion for Rhys to go on before pulling Maren back aside.

"Listen, Maren, I know I am always apologizing for my moods and my actions, but know that I really do mean it. Things keep coming up and I am the worst at handling them in a calm and patient manner. Can you forgive me?"

Maren smiles, her normal peppiness beginning to shine through. Its softer now, however.

I continue, "And could you not mention Rhys helping me with my shift? I'm not sure I can handle the teasing if everyone knew."

She grasps my hand and squeezes.

"Oh, Mina. You're so cute. Don't you worry. And I wont tell anyone about Rhys." She winks. I resist rolling my eyes at her. Instead I just give her a hug.

"Thank you"

When I catch up to Rhys, I cut to the point. No use making idle talk when we both know the direness of the situation.

"You said you had a plan?"

"Let us talk somewhere not so out in the open." He says as he takes my elbow.  
Soon we are in the comfort of our practice shed. As we stand there somewhat awkwardly, I repeat the question.

"The plan?"

"Yes, there is one. Although we will already have to adjust it due to your newfound information. Once the delegation arrives and while everyone is distracted with formalities we will leave. I wish I could say we could still run before then but now it's just not plausible."

Panic bubbles in my chest. This greatly increases the chance of a run-in with Daroth. "Why not? Why do we need to stay until then?"

"You said Daroth knows where you are, right? A few men ahead of the main party arrived yesterday. I have suspicions that they may be watching you now. One of them must know you."

"What?! What did they look like?" I feel my fingers tremble slightly and I clench them. I don't want to be afraid. Not anymore.

"Just a few guards and a tall blonde man in fancy clothing on a horse."

Fear gives way to the beginnings of fury. I curse.

 _Lord Rane._

 _Was he watching me this morning?_

"If it's who I think it is, we may be in trouble."

Rhys rubs his chin with a hand. "Just keep your head down and pretend nothing is happening. They haven't come for you yet. They must be waiting for your King to give the orders."

I pull my owl feather cloak ever tighter. _Your King._ The words feel like a poison in my mind.

"Why would some of the delegation even arrive early? What would they need to do before the other part gets here?"

Rhys raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn't know? I thought you would've at least had part in a delegation before."

"Coming to Gallen was the first time I had left Irisidea. I've had a bit of a sheltered life you see."

"Ah, well that makes sense then."

"Well, now we know they know I am here. What else?"

"I've talked to Percy and Tasha and you now have tomorrow off. I've also managed to get out of duty tomorrow as well since I will be taking Ren's shift later tonight. I had planned for us both go to the Mage's Guild and for you to tell Anders _everything_."

The thought makes me nervous. I may have confided in Rhys but can I do it again? And with someone whom I've only met twice?

"Everything?"

"Yes. Tell it all. Let him research your bond. I know you said you've found it before, but Anders will know where to look in order to find a way to _break_ it."

"But if I leave the castle grounds, wont they suspect…"

"They might. If I call for him to come here will you tell him? We can meet in your workroom or in one of the castle libraries."

There is no use arguing with that. "Fine. Arrange it and I'll talk to him. But what about leaving?"

Once the delegation arrives and when everyone is distracted we will make our move. We will sneak out to the guild, find out what Anders has found and gather supplies, and then leave the capitol and head away from here."

"Where?"

"We will flee to Vinerath for now, unless Anders thinks we should go somewhere else. Who knows what he may be able to find. He's not my favorite person but he is one of the most dependable in my life. He will be sure to let us know what we should do if needs be."

Does that mean he plans to go with me? "Rhys, you don't have to come. Just help me leave and I can go on my own. You've done more than enough. I can't keep pulling you into my problems."

"You are right. I don't have to go with you, but I want to. I want to help you."

I am overwhelmed by the notion and can't help the heat that creeps up my neck and into my cheeks.

"Really, you don't have to-"

Rhys holds out a hand, silencing me.

"I'm coming. End of story. Now I do have a few questions for you." The lilt in his voice is lighter than it has been. Rhys will be back to his normal self soon enough.

I nod. This is good.

"I'll answer anything."


	28. Chapter 28

**_Seven Months Before_**

Of course in my eyes, the contract of my ownership was pointless. I still made everyone's life miserable with my actions and did all I could to defy Daroth.

A few weeks following, Daroth snapped.

"You. Will. Obey." Daroth growled at me as he burst into my chambers.

I had denied his orders.

Again.

For the last several nights he had summoned me to his chambers to draw power and spend time with his company. I had barred my door each night and I had kept my distance. I did not want his hands on me anymore for whatever reason. I was done giving love to my Advisor. The less I saw him the easier it was to hate him. Ultimately, Daroth came himself to retrieve me and nearly broke down my door in the process.

His anger was palpable and thick but I was too stubborn to back down.

I stood from my bed, still fully dressed from the day in a chiffon gown. My practiced words were weak but steady. "I'm done playing the docile simpleton. I cannot stand by while you destroy my kingdom with the help of my father and Uncle. As you can see, a piece of paper means absolutely nothing to me. I am not yours to command."

I did not notice Daroth charging towards me until it was too late and his hands were clutching my upper arms.

He forced me against the wall, pressing me into the cold marble around my fireplace.

"Let me go" I barked.

"You have been given too much freedom, Namina. Your tongue runs away from you, even when you 'play the docile simpleton' as you call it. Well, things will be different starting now. You are no longer the Princess who can waltz in wherever she pleases and demand some inspirational yet pointless change. No. Now you will answer to me and me only. You _are_ mine to command. I am the High Advisor to Irisidea and your husband-to-be. But you? You are but a woman with a mouth she shouldn't have. It is high time you were silent and respectful and did as you were told."

He bared his teeth and his lip curled as he spoke.

I stared at him with a cold resilience, like my body had melded into the marble at my back. I was a statue, unable to feel or react. I would be dignified. I would not give in.

He seethed, his breathing heavy and his hands clammy as they held me. Slowly, the rage softened into something akin to heated passion. His eyes dropped to my lips. Somewhere deep within me I could feel our souls' connection flaming to life. Like a moth to a fire I found myself wanting to give into him once more.

To kiss those full lips of his.

I wouldn't do it.

I pushed the desire down and covered it with ice in my mind. Marble resolve. I would keep my marble resolve.

"Never again" the words stung my throat with their release.

I hadn't realized I had spoken the words aloud until the steely look in Daroth's eyes turned slightly amused. I watched an idea spark in those eyes; a new plan forming in his twisted mind.

I shuddered.

"Pushing against our bond may smother your desire but it does not make a dent in mine. In fact, I've learned to let it swell when it wants to. It only makes the connection to your soul easier for me when I let myself want you. The more craving I have for you, the more access to your soul is granted. You could grow stronger as well if you gave in to it more. If you gave into me."

Darkness laced his voice, even as it turned honeyed.

I was walking a dangerous tightrope and I was about to fall.

"I demand you release me, Advisor." This lustful hatred he seemed to have toward me scared me more than anything had before. _I have to end this. Now._

I made to move away but he forced me back and held me with his body. His hips pressed into mine. His lips were mere inches from my own now.

"You have a strong spirit, Namina. I wouldn't have to force you to obey if you would only join my cause. We both know our vow was more than what we expected but I've learned there are certain, shall we say, perks to such a physical attraction. Whether or not they were there in the beginning."

"There is no perk to this, Advisor. I demand you release me at once." My hands grasped at his doublet, making to pull him off me.

"Ah, but you are mine now. And I'd rather not let you flee just yet." His hand fumbled with the left strap of my dress, ripping it down my shoulder and bringing my neckline dangerously close to the swell of my chest.

"Stop this!" I growled and reached for his sword. I would cut him through if I had to.

His hand caught my wrist right as my fingers grazed the hilt and he squeezed it, causing the bones in my wrist to pop uncomfortably.

I shrieked at the pain.

"Hoping to stab me?"

I panted with the effort not to faint from the pain in my wrist. Had he broken anything? I swallowed, trying to feel it out with my magic and soothe the throbbing muscle.

He cut off my access to power with a twitch of his hand even as it still held mine.

Those ice blue eyes froze my heart over with terror as they raked my body. "I see you are still a wild bird, aren't you?"

Daroth narrowed his eyes at me and smiled slowly. I flinched. I had never seen him so malicious before. "As far as I have learned, the best way to tame a bird is to train it while its young with gentleness. But that is so overrated. They never learn the way you want to. I prefer to break my prey with force. Drain all the fight out. Watching it bleed is so rewarding."

He squeezed my wrist again and I cried out, sure something was sprained or broken.

"Please. Daroth stop. This isn't you." I breathed between grimaces.

"Pain is a good tool for training, yes. But I find so is pleasure. When mixed together they create something even more magnificent."

The pressure increased slightly and I opened my mouth in a gasp.

His mouth covered mine in an instant, stopping my cry mid-note.

I froze, my eyes flying wide open.

He let go of my hand and it dropped to my side, still excruciatingly hurting.

I had not expected this. The shock kept me still as he continued his onslaught.

Slow at first, Daroth soon deepened the kiss. His tongue dashed across my lower lip before fully invading my mouth. There had been once a time where I welcomed his touch, but now I dreaded it. However, with the pain of my hand and the distress of his attack on my lips I had no time to push my want down. The connection to his soul within me flared as his did and I found myself answering to his kiss against all better judgment.

My mind turned off.

There was no right or wrong anymore. Only desire and lust.

My hands moved of their own accord around his neck and I ignored the biting pain in my wrist. It was nothing compared to the wanting ache in me. He lifted me higher against the wall and secured my legs around his waist, his hands brushing my skirts up to my thighs. I responded by pushing my hands underneath his tunic to his chiseled stomach. The passion between us was as thick, despite my hatred of him. I had his shirt off in mere seconds; my hands grazing up his chest to explore those planes I knew so well. His lips moved to my neck and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes. One hand still gripped my thigh while the other tangled in my hair. When his grazing mouth reached my collarbone the world snapped back into focus like lightning. My eyes opened.

With startling clarity I realized just how much I was replying to his touch and just how close we were to…

To…

 _Oh Gods!_

I screamed and pulled away abruptly, breaking it all off. Daroth became astounded as I tried to shove him away from me. He held on to me, but my legs managed to unwrap from his waist and I found myself standing once more.

"Get away from me!" I yelled and ripped myself from his grip. He let me go then, his expression genuinely confused. I took two steps away before collapsing to my hands and knees, breathing hard. Sharp jolts of pain shot up my arm from putting weight on my wrist. My head spun at the effort to calm my raging heart. Daroth suddenly laughed as he recovered, stepping toward me. I could do nothing but breathe deeply and slowly.

My mind was still reeling.

My hand ached anew.

My body pounded from his horrid touch.

He picked up his shirt from the ground and stood before me. I could feel him relishing at my embarrassment at giving in.

I glared at his boots, even as my cheeks burned.

"Even when you see me as the enemy you still crave me. Don't deny it, Namina. I could feel it in your touch."

"I hate you," I said with venom, not daring to look up. I held myself up with my hands, my disheveled hair covering my face. My legs were all but useless. I could still feel the ghost of his hands and mouth on me, my swollen and bruised lips evident of the invasion.

"I know." Daroth knelt beside me and lifted my chin to face him. "But I don't care. This isn't about love and hate. It's about power and passion. You give me both." With ironically gentle hands he readjusted my dress so that it covered me more properly and stroked my hair.

He stood, bringing me up with him. I felt his lips on my forehead and I shivered. I had been played for the damn fool.

He left me and walked toward the door before facing me once more.

I folded my arms across my chest.

Pushing back the tears that threatened to fall, I stared defiantly at him.

He met my gaze with one of his own, his voice level as he spoke "I meant every word I said. I will dictate everything you do. You will dress how I want, say what I want, and do what I want. If you take one step out of line, you will be punished accordingly. And don't think I would spare you being whipped. If that is what it takes to control you then so be it." I wiped at my eyes as the tears began to prick them. I _would not_ cry. "That won't even be the worst of it if you do not concede. You've seen what I can do without using my magic. Imagine just what I can do to you with it."

I didn't want to. There was truly nothing left of the man I thought I had known. Daroth had turned into a monster and with horrible clarity I realized that I had given him the tools he was using to "control" me.

"We may not have a date for the wedding yet but you might as well start thinking of me as your husband now. I own you. And you will obey."

I was silent, still seething and staring at him. The pain in my hand was buried beneath my anger and mortification.

"Is that clear?" He asked eerily calmly.

I still refused to reply.

His hand twitched and I felt myself go weak. I grabbed a bedpost and held myself up.

His power pushed me down harder and I nearly slid to the ground despite my hold. I grunted with effort to stay somewhat in control of myself. "Yes Daroth. You've made yourself quite clear" I relented through clenched teeth. That satisfied him.

"Good. Enjoy your evening, Princess. I will see you in the morning."

"I hope you die!" I seethed.

Laughing, he slammed the door behind him and locked it.

 ** _Six Months Before_**

I continued to endure Daroth and was forced to let him drain me at least once a week. When he called, I came, even as unwilling as I was. He had stopped trying to force a romance out of me and for that I was grateful but all it did was to keep me on edge. He would not take me unwillingly. Yet.

I still did all I could to escape.

One instance in particular stood out in my mind.

Since the time Daroth had confronted me in my bedroom, he had assigned one of his new personal guard to me. I hated how the guard was always there, a mere five paces away. The only time I was not with a guard of some sort was when I was in the presence of Daroth himself, my father, or in my rooms. Even when out of sight, I knew they were watching.

One day I had decided I had had enough.

I had snuck away.

I had been in the menagerie visiting some of the animals when a few courtesans had walked by. My guard was truly a man. His eye was drawn almost instantly. I noticed. And I took advantage of the situation by slipping away into nearby foilage.

The panic on the guard's face when he realized I had gone missing was almost worth the punishment when I was caught an hour later in the gardens.

I had almost made it to the edge of the palace grounds.

I had almost tasted freedom.

"What the hell were you doing?" Daroth growled when the guards had brought me before him in his antechamber. I was given no time to answer, "Running away, are you? You wouldn't last a day out there. The world is full of demons and monsters just waiting for a pathetic thing like you to stumble out." The taunt was weak to my ears.

"I'll take my chances. Anything to distance myself from the monsters that live inside the palace."

He flicked his wrist and I felt my ankles go weak. I was only held up by the guards at my side. The way he would use what healing magic he had gained from me against my body felt unusually cruel every time he did it. Not only would he continue to try to make me weak in spirit, something I would not let happen so easily, but he gained personal pleasure in making me weak in the body as well.

He stood and the guards took a step back from me. Daroth cupped my chin.

"Let's go. You've made me miss a very important meeting with your selfishness."

He dragged me by my upper arm through the palace hallways and towards my rooms. The looks from the other courtier's and servant's faces were drawn between embarrassed for me and amused at the whole situation. Rumors had already started circulating that I was slowly going mad and High Advisor Daroth had been unfortunate enough to be put in charge of my care in this time of need. I'd wished I were going mad...

"Let me go, Advisor!" I pulled against him.

The resistance was met with an open palm across my face that caused me to stumble. Daroth said nothing as he continued pulling me along. My cheek smarted as I followed him docile the rest of the way.

When we arrived at my rooms, two guards stood at the door, one of them the guard I had run from. His expression was almost as murderous as Daroths. He motioned for them to step aside and opened the door.

"You'd do well to stick with your sentinels, Princess. You forget the dangers that lurk outside my protection." The serenity of his voice did not match the fire in his eyes. He was furious.

"The only way to show you who is in charge is punishment it seems. Three days in your room without food should do it." He tossed me haphazardly into my chambers and I stumbled to the ground.

As the doors shut I heard Daroth instruct the guards not to let anyone in or out. Panic boiled over. I banged my fist on the doors regardless. Surely he didn't mean it. "Guards! Mara! Anyone! I demand you open this door!"

No answer came. I knew they were there, silently standing guard. The realization pained me. Daroth's words held true it seemed. No one would listen to the princess anymore.

I slumped down to the ground and hit the door with my fist one last time. A weak effort.

The day passed in agony.

I spent most of it sprawled across my bed, trying to ignore the hunger growing in the pit of my stomach. Eventually, I fell asleep fully clothed and on top of my blankets.

The next morning I used the washbasin and washed myself down. I had to choose a simple gown to change in to, something I could slip over my head that did not need tying or buttoning. Once I brushed through my hair and checked my appearance I looked at the clock.  
Barely eight. I sighed and grabbed the only book I had in my room: _The History of Irisidea_

All day I read.

I fell asleep after starting the book for the second time.

By the end of the third day, I was faint with hunger. As a princess who had never gone hungry more than one missed meal, my body was reacting by breaking down on me. I had even resorted to drinking the water that I had used to wash myself with. It was a low feeling. My head pounded and my stomach felt like it was eating itself. The only thing that helped me not go insane was daydreaming. I spent the day in my mind in far-off lands where Irisidea would never have been heard of and made plans of what I would do were I to one day leave this retched place.

I lay on the floor with my arms hugging my stomach, facing the empty fireplace, when my door opened and shut quietly. My body tensed as boot steps approached and a figure sat down beside me. Daroth's shadow fell over me. Shivers racked my frame.

"Oh, Namina." He cooed, placing a hand on my shoulder. I was too weak to shrug him off. "I do hate seeing you like this."

I didn't say anything. I merely tucked my arms in closer to my body and squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Will you obey me now?"

"Never" I croaked. At least my will had not been broken.

He chuckled. "While your stubbornness is not surprising, I will make you a deal. I'll have dinner brought to you by your lady and your isolation will be absolved if you say just a few simple words for me. You don't even have to mean them right now. I just want to hear the words leave your pretty little mouth."

"And what are they?" The idea of being able to eat and see Mara made my heart lift just a little. I knew it would cost me though.

"All you have to say is: My will is yours." I could hear the smirk in his voice. I didn't even have to see his face to know that Daroth was enjoying himself way too much at my pain. I nearly sobbed with embarrassment. He was doing this to humiliate me and it was going to work.

I cleared my throat and shut my eyes before speaking those damning words.

"My will is yours, Lord Daroth."

"There's a good girl. You will be assigned two guards from now on. I hate wasting men on you, but you've given me no choice. Do not lose them, for the next time you do I'll have you whipped in front of the whole court."

I believed him.

 _._

Life continued to be a game of tug of war that Daroth usually won in the end. I still toed the line between obedience and obstinacy.

Every chance I saw to defy him, I did.

Every chance he saw to correct me, he did.

We lived in a perpetual state of hell created by one another with him always keeping the upper hand. That never stopped me from trying.

Daroth saw me as his plaything. Not a day would go by that he wouldn't do something to torment me or further his own powers...

... not a day would go by that I didn't resolve to make it through.

He would not break me.


	29. Chapter 29

**Back to the present.**

* * *

"Tell him everything" Rhys articulates for the umpteenth time. I let out an irritated huff.

"I know, Farrowslake. I know!"

Anders now sits across from me at a small table that Rhys has procured. We have located to a small section of Siranthen's personal library where we are told no one ever goes. Rhys has even checked to see what the "Irisidean guests" who have already arrived are up to and we have been told that they are all on a hunting trip this afternoon.

Daroth comes tomorrow. My stomach feels as if it is being wrung over and over. I cannot eat and have not gotten much sleep since the day before.

Anders drums his fingers on the table lightly, almost as if his hands aren't used to idleness but his eyes are soft. "You've both said this is of dire importance. I am listening young lady. You can feel safe telling me."

I give a half smile "I appreciate that. It's just hard to say words that have been bottled up for so long."

"You're stalling…" Rhys says to my right. He is slouched in his chair staring at us both. "Get on with it, _Namina_."

I could seriously kill him. And I wouldn't use magic. I'd just strangle him the good old-fashioned way.

I hope the look I give the oaf reflects that.

Anders clears his throat, interrupting our little debacle.

"Namina?"

Well that cat is out of the bag. "Yes. Namina Kalea of Dorn."

"Princess of Irisidea?"

I bite my lip. Rhys laughs good-naturedly.

"Oh yes, its quite the story."

I watch as Anders's eyebrows rise higher and higher. I guess it's time.

"Okay." I breathe. "Here it goes"

And I tell him my story.

Anders is a more inquisitive listener than Rhys was. He is constantly asking me about each little detail I share as if trying to understand every piece of my life. He asks the reasonings behind decisions I had made both in Irisidea and here in Gallen. I divulge whatever he asks to the best of my memory.

 _I truly have nothing to hide,_ I tell myself.

Except how good the darkness is starting to feel. Which scares me most of all.

I leave that all out.

Rhys leans forward after several minutes as my adding more to my story gives him an even deeper look into my psyche.

Now that I'm uncomfortable with…

When I am done sharing, and Anders's questions have wound down, we sit in silence while the Arch-mage contemplates the information given and the plans we have made to leave.

"It makes since why you were so interested in dark magic. Let me return to the Mage's Guild and study it out. I think I might know where to find something."

"Thank you, Anders."

After sharing all my deep dark secrets and with everything resting on tomorrow, I feel ill. All I want to do is drink a large glass of wine.

 _Namina, you know what happens when you start that behavior..._ I chide myself. Alcohol may soothe my worries but it doesn't quell them.

We make further plans to meet up with Anders at the Mage's guild the following afternoon and the Arch-mage leaves us. I want to talk more about how he feels about what I have divulged but I feel there will be no time. Not for a very long time.

"Well, everything is going to plan. Anders will look into the blood oath and we will stay low until tomorrow. We can do this. I can do this." I say as Rhys and I leave the library and walk down the halls of the castle.

A strange look passes over Rhys's face. He doesn't answer, just keeps his gaze forward.

"Rhys?"

He looks at me like he has just come out of a deep thought. Curious.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you okay?"

He frowns. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Well shall we go? There are still a few hours of daylight "

"You go on ahead. I have a few errands I remembered I have to take care of."

I hesitate. "Okay then. Shall I meet up with you later?"

I get a smile and a nod, although distracted.

"Tonight. I'll find you."

.

After a day of not really doing anything at all, and with Rhys heading off to do who knows what, I am even antsier. I can barely sit still for I feel l will fall apart if I do. Near the end of the day I find myself in the workroom at the table, just staring at the wall. I am so engrossed in thoughts of Daroth and my impending escape that I do not notice the shadow from the doorway casted on the wall in front of me.

"Tomorrow is the last day of the year."

I jump, completely taken off guard as Rhys comes up beside me.

Turning in my chair, I give him a gentle shove. He stumbles back, already bent over in his own amusement.

"You scared me!" I yell

"I noticed," he says between fits of laughter.

"Did you take care of those errands you remembered?"

He frowns ever so slightly, but his mood stays jubulant. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about that. How was your day?"

"Fine. I'm just on edge."

"I think you need a distraction. Come, I have something I want to show you." Rhys beckons me to follow him as he heads towards the guardhouse.

We soon stand on a turret overlooking the castle on one side and the city on the other and warm ourselves by the small fire one of the guards has made. Rhys uses his elemental magic to make it grow.

"Sometimes I forget you have magic. You never use it."

"There's never any need for it," he says matter-of-factly.

I look out over the city and into the fields beyond. The sun has just about set, the last rays throwing deep reds and oranges over the town and making the blue slate roofs look nearly brown.

"Do you ever have duty up here?"

"Once in a long while. It's hell during the winter. The blasted cold makes the pretty view nauseating."

I laugh, the thought bringing up a once-dim memory. "My mother used to bring me up to the tallest tower when we both wanted to get away from the court. There was a small garden there, built as a wedding gift to her. It was torn down when she died but before that, we would both go up there every New Year and watch the fireworks from above light up the snow and ice covered lakes. She would always comment that it looked like a painting. A beautiful, cold painting. I think that's how she saw her life in Irisidea: beautiful, but cold."

"The more I hear of Irisidea, the more I wish to never go."

"It really isn't that bad. It was more my father's doing than anything. Their marriage was strictly political. Loveless to the core." I pull my feather cloak close to my body.

"What is a Gallen New Year Like?"

"Well, as you've heard the gossip, most of the courtiers from Gallen travel from their prospective cities and lodge here. There is a massive ball that takes place for nearly six hours. Outside the castle gates, the common folk and mages celebrate in the streets with fire dancing and free food. Everyone is merry. Not even the lowest of the low are looked down upon for one night."

"Now that is a celebration I would want to attend."

"Maybe next year, all of this will be over. You'll be free of your magic and maybe your King will be overthrown. We can return here and participate. The Irisidean princess and her guard."

I laugh. "So you're my guard now, are you?"

"For the time being. You said it yourself: you need someone to show you how to act normal and not make a fool of yourself."

"I never said that."

"Oh? Well that's what I heard" He smirks and gives me a small shove.

I return the favor and then look back over the edge to the city below. So peaceful and unsuspecting. It is hard to believe I will be leaving this place tomorrow.

Rhys notices the sad longing on my face and moves up beside me once more.

"Listen, Mina. No matter what happens tomorrow, try to remember I am always on your side."

His words both comfort and confuse me. However, the idea is nothing new.

"I know that."

To new beginnings." He says, squeezing my hand.

"To new beginnings." I repeat and smile.

.

"The Irisideans are here!" Maren calls as she whips into the workroom and waves us all out into the courtyard. "Come see! We might even catch a glance of the King!"

I stand with Reynor and Percy, organizing herbs in our work cabinets. There are bound to be a few illnesses this far along in winter. And with half the court holed up in the castle for tonight's dinner banquet and ball, the close quarters could bring an outbreak of anything.

I feel bad that I will not be there to help, but then again, I now it would be useless to have me stay. I'd surely be caught. They already know I'm here.

Percy and Reynor head outside to look upon the procession. I stand behind.

"Come look, Mina! They're so fancy!" she tries again.

"We live at the foot of a king, Maren. We see fancy nearly everyday."

She grabs my arm and directs me outside. "Yes, but have you ever seen Irisideian fancy? Much more gaudy."

Everything in me tells me not to go. Everything tells me that I should not see him in the flesh, but my feet move of their own accord as Maren leads me into the winter sunlight. Even after four months of freedom from Daroth, I want to see him. I want to see that bastard. To know that in a matter of hours I will once again be out of his reach.

Several horse drawn carraiges enter the castle complex, each letting off various Lords and Ladies. I recognize a few of them as they join the Gallen Royals and other Irisidean courtiers already present. Lord Rane stands tall, preening in his important role of second in command.

"Do you see him?" Maren hops up and down as the last and largest carriage rolls to the carpet that has been laid out. We wouldn't want our guests dirtying themselves on the Gallen dirt.

I watch as Lord Rane leaves the group of Gallen royals and makes his way to the carriage. A servant who is wearing the traditional gold with black outfit I have seen all my life opens the door.

My breath catches in my throat.

Slowly, as if from a memory, I watch Daroth step out. I watch as the sunlight glints off of that dark hair and I watch his blue eyes sparkle as he takes in the sight of Gallen. The King and Prince Siranthen step forward to exchange pleasantries.

My eyes are glued as Daroth glances around -possibly looking for me- before becoming more fully engaged with the King of Gallen.

It is a short show of fancy and as they all walk indoors, some of the courtiers and dignitaries wave to the crowd.

I let my shoulders relax as Daroth leaves my view. Then my eyes find Rhys.

He is looking at me again in that strange way. Like he cant quite handle seeing me.

What is wrong with him? I determine that I _will_ make him talk to me once we are out of the city, but first, I must prepare.

With a nod in his direction and without waiting for one back, I turn on my heels and head into the Healing Quarters.

It is definitely time to leave.

* * *

 _ **Well, Daroth is in town now. And I thought since New Years in in two days why not post these next few chapters now? I'll post probably one every day until the 1st and then take a week break. I'm hoping to get on a posting schedule eventually. The rest of Part 1 is finished. Part 2 is where the real adventures start!**_

 _ **Thank you to all who read and/or review! It is much appreciated!**_

 _ **Also, I hope last chapter wasn't too much. I almost left it out but I felt it was important to show. That particular flashback was to show how Daroth manipulated Namina physically. The next flashback will show more of the mental/emotional manipulation as well as set the stage for the "flashback climax"**_


	30. Chapter 30

**_Five Months Before_**

Daroth's hand traced a path from my shoulder to my elbow. I flinched against him.

"Lord Rane we need to find you a wife!"

"You forget we aren't even married, High Advisor. You have no right to me at all yet."

He waved a hand and looked at me as if bored with our banter. "Details, details. You are still mine, Princess."

"I am still waiting for a suitable courtier to catch my eye. Know of any, Princess? I hear Lady Wilden has grown up to be quite the flower."

 _Mara._

"Lady Wilden is currently occupied. She has no time for courting," I said in her defense. The last thing Mara needed was to be subjected to their type of torturous womanizing. It truly was demeaning.

Daroth rolled his eyes. "If Lord Rane takes a liking to your lady-in-waiting all I have to do is release her from her duties and find you a new one."

"I'd rather keep her, thank you. Once again, may I ask your leave, Daroth?"

He didn't even look at me. "No."

I settled back in my chair and shrugged him off. He could hold me close with magic but that didn't mean I would let him caress me like so.

He didn't seem to mind. He seemed to even like the struggle.

"Do you know what the Black Guard is, Namina?"

"Of course. My father's guard of bullies really. Warriors."

"You'd be half-right. It is a guard, or a regiment really, but it is not your father's. This is solely my creation. Think of it as a wedding gift to you." The words caught me off guard.

"What do they do?"

"I'll not tell you their purpose for now. As to what they are capable of, well, that is quite the thing. Ever since we've bonded, I've come to find that my magic has grown exponentially. I can actually command people to do my bidding! How marvelous is that?"

My stomach churned "Taking away people's free will? I can't quite imagine you doing that."

"She sure has a tongue on her" Rane admonished.

"Yes, we are working on that."

" _She_ is right here. _You_ wanted me to sit in on your meeting. Give me my leave and I will depart in peace." I folded my arms.

"You could always gag her." Rane suggested with a dark glance in my direction. I narrowed my eyes at him but inwardly I was cowering.

"While that would be fun, we wont resort to that." Daroth turned and cupped my chin before whispering in my ear, "One more sarcastic remark and I'll show Lord Rane what you're like when you're at your weakest: Drained at completely at my will. Do you want that?"

Although hollow, the threat worked. I shut my mouth and shook my head.

"We've run several test raids on small villages in the south of Irisidea to test the Black Guard's power as well as my reach. As of yet, we have had no problem. Soon they will be ready for combat I believe."

"Raids?" I couldn't help the words escaping from my lips. Daroth did not seem to mind the question.

"Yes. Raids."

Raids. Murders. Pillaging and raping. The thought sickened me.

I felt Daroth's fingers brush my cheek and flinched once again. "I wonder if you would be able to control them as well, my dear. Your magic must have grown more as well. Shall we find out?" His voice was soft and lined with something wicked.

"Please... don't." I whispered, eyes downcast. I did not want that force on my conscience.

"Will you do any more testing?" Rane asked, fingering the goblet in front of him awkwardly. At least I was not the only one who felt Daroth's caresses were too much. His hand dropped at the question and he straightened.

"A little. I'll tell you more once we are alone. What I really wanted to talk to you both about is the King and Prince Karthon."

"What of them?" I asked. Daroth sent me a warning glance. I flinched unintentionally.

"I believe they may be planning something against us all. Yes, even you my bird. What do you suggest we do?"

Rane tapped his fingers on the desk and looked at me. I scowled.

"Princess, do you have any suggestions?"

"I do not, Lord Rane. I apologize." I said in my most diplomatic voice. He scoffed. Daroth squeezed my arm.

"Pretend you could do anything to stop a threat from your father. What would you do?"

"The same thing I want to do to you, Daroth. I'd have you all banished."

"Not killed?"

"I despair of the idea of killing. I may wish you all dead from time to time but I'd rather you live out some miserable existence in the mountains. _That_ would make me very happy." I studied my hands in my lap and squeezed them into fists.

Daroth considered the idea, though I knew he was more mocking me than anything with his silence. Was he planning the King's death? I shot him a look. He returned it, his eyes blazing.

"What do you think they are plotting?" Rane interceded.

"I've noticed a few things of late that seem oddly suspicious. I have reason to believe that they will use Namina against me such as try to go back on the marriage alliance or threaten to remove her entirely from my reach if I do not accept all their ideals and advice."

My blood boiled. I had begged my father to let me leave Renor so many times and now it had come to this.

"It would be awful to have to follow someone else's orders I'm sure." The words slipped out before I could reel them in, thick and slimy with sarcasm. A perfect echo of my words only minutes ago.

Daroth turned to me then, anger in his eyes hot like coals. I felt myself shrinking in my chair. I would regret this. He knew it and I knew it.

This was what I hated: the fear he was able to use over me. He had complete control of everything. I knew life would be easier if I were but to cooperate, but I also knew if I went down that path, I would lose a part of myself. The more I fought back, the better I felt. The risk was worth it.  
Until moments like this...

His words were clipped and I could see Rane out of the corner of my eye now trying to stifle his amusement. "You are dismissed. I'll see you in a bit for your lessons."

Two of the guard came forward as I stood and escorted me roughly from the room.

.

 _ **Four Months Earlier**_

"I have a very special lesson planned for your tutelage today. A lesson that was actually suggested by your father. I may not trust the High Prince but he has good ideas." Daroth said with a cryptic smile. I shuddered as I followed him from my rooms and away from my usual guards. His hand rested on the small of my back as he lead me down the hall.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure its something I will loathe."

"Hmmm. Quite possibly." Amusement colored his voice.

We stepped into the receiving chamber, empty but for a few of Daroth's guard.

"Come. Let us sit." Daroth led me gently up the steps of the dais. I sat in my father's guided chair. Daroth took the place of King Signor and took my hand in his own.

"To think, in just a short time, we will sit here together as King and Queen: rulers of our great Irisidea."

"Yes. I can hardly wait." I rolled my eyes.

"I do love it when you're in a sarcastic mood. It makes it all the more fun to break." He smiled and kissed my hand.

"Well then, why don't we practice a bit of diplomacy?" Daroth snapped his fingers. "Bring him in."

Two of the Black Guard half-dragged, half-led a haggard looking man in to the room and deposited him at our feet.

"What is this?"

"Your lesson. In order to be a good leader, you need to know when to inflict punishment on those who wrong you."

Hysteria began to creep up my throat "And what did this man do that wronged us?"

"Does it matter? If you need a good reason, make up one." Daroth said, his tone almost bored.

"All I did was steal a few loaves of bread, my princess. I swear it! I swear I meant no harm!" The man shrieked.

"Oh, do shut him up!" Daroth rolled his eyes.

A guard stepped forward and backhanded the man. I flinched into the chair.

Daroth kissed the back of my hand again and whispered against my knuckles. "Now little bird, what punishment would you say fits the crime?" I looked both at the man who had crumpled to a heap on the ground and then back at Daroth who waited patiently. I swallowed.

"You say the crime matters not, only that he committed one. And now you want me to punish him accordingly? That seems hardly fair."

"A simple question, dear. Answer it. _You_ will inflict punishment on him."

I tried not to look down at the man who was still panting from exhaustion. How long had Daroth been holding him prisoner? And all for this...exercise?

"Well, I-I believe that would be for the officers in Renor to decide. If it were up to me, I would say payment should be made. If no money is available then maybe a work agreement between the baker and this man can be made? A second offence could then be an hour in the stocks."

The man's face wrinkled even more as he began to weep. I did not know why he wept. If it was gratitude, it was far undeserved. I was partially at fault for his troubles. He had just been the unlucky soul Daroth had found first to make me do this to.

I looked over for approval to find Daroth studying me hard. Only after a moment did he speak.

"Our princess is soft hearted indeed. Unfortunately, Irisidea does not thrive with softness. We need strength."

Sourness welled in the pit of my stomach. I frowned.

Daroth stood and paced. "This man will be broken of mind and spirit before being flogged in the square and spending a week in the stocks. Let him serve as a warning to all."

The man's crying grew wilder and he began to plead to Daroth.

"What? No! You said I choose the punishment!"

"I said you would inflict it. And you will. Break his mind, Namina."

"I wont'!" I stood and turned to the man who had stopped paying attention to us at all. He was so swallowed up in this torture to hear much else but his own wailing. "I wont allow you to be tortured like this. I promise!"

The promise fell on deaf ears, his cries louder than my words.

"Now, little bird."

I hesitated.

Daroth snapped again and a middle-aged woman was brought in, just as scared and visibly upset as the man.

"We have three children! Please let us go!" She pleaded.

"What have you done Daroth?" I turned on him and charged. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me against him so that my momentum served him more than it did me. He held me in his arms and would not let go.

"You have no reason to protect yourself, but tell me, how far will you go to protect others? Will I have to kill this poor man's wife instead? Or shall I kill them both and put their heads on a pike outside your balcony?" he whispered in my hair as i tried to pull away.

"Daroth, don't make me do this." I felt my body go weak as he drained me just enough to stop the fight and released my hands.

"We are waiting Namina. This is your choice."

Tears pricked my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I reached out my hand. My fingers shook as I extended my arm.

"Do it!" Daroth nearly yelled.

I searched out his soul with my magic and latched on. Then, I twisted.

The screams that followed were unearthly.

At some point Daroth let go of me, but I did not know when. Knowing my hand was the one causing pain when my magic should have been for the healing of a person made me feel nothing but remorse. I cringed as the screams started to die down and my whole body shook. I knew the screams weren't just his emotions being tampered with; it was his mind and soul as well. Mixed with the screams of his wife, they were deafening.

"That is enough. Take them both away and see that the rest of the sentence is carried out. I'll assess the damage later."

As the man and wife were dragged from the receiving chamber I fell to my knees and sobbed. I watched as the tears fell to the white marble floors and created small reflections of candlelight beneath me. I was a monster. I had just tortured a man through his very _soul._

"Congratulations Princess. You've just proven yourself once again more useful than I could have imagined."

I couldn't speak through the tears.

I could only replay those screams in my mind over and over and over.

.

I endured several more instances of helping Daroth torture those who had "wronged the kingdom", some of which my father and uncle sat in on. Eventually Daroth had me twist the emotion of the accused before the torture or seeing how far I could go before they died. Each time the threat of disobedience grew. First it was the accused's wife. Then family. Then Mara was added to the list. I could not say no.

My father and uncle congratulated Daroth on each accomplishment, barely acknowledging me at all. They knew how it affected me. I had grown quiet and tortured. In effect, I began an addiction of substance to quell the emotion. Wine became my new best friend.

After the first instance I had begun to take a glass before bed to clear the memories before they attacked deep in the night. I used the drink to stay together when all I wanted to do was fly apart. In a matter of weeks I was using it to dull everything. I drank before every meeting, every tutoring session, every dinner with my father and uncle.

Soon I became numb to the screaming, knowing I would forget about it later that night. Soon I became a hollow shell full of bitterness, anxiety, and wine. I lost the fight once more.

 ** _Four Months Before_**

It took a good month or so before I actually broke down. The day I had finally burst the dam of my pent up emotions followed like any other but was only about to get worse. Tonight was a celebratory dinner in Daroth's and my honor and I had been dressed for the occasion: a black and gold strappy gown that fell like liquid to the floor, my hair would be done up and my eyes rimmed with dark kohl. Top it all off with my diadem and I would be the embodiment of Irisidean royalty.

Right before Mara was to do my hair, I cracked, the gates of emotion opening wide.

Mara had held me in her arms as I cried for a good while.

When I had finished, my head feeling very stuffed and heavy, I looked up and placed a hand on Mara's.

Beautiful, dependent Lady Mara Wilden. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a simple bun but the strands that fell out frame her heart-shaped face perfectly.

Her expression looked guarded. She wanted to say something but didn't know how to go about it.

"What is it" I prodded.

"It's just… I'm almost glad you fell apart there. It means you haven't totally lost yourself. I feared you had this week. You were so quiet. You almost seemed truly gone."

It was a moment more of silence before I responded. I reached for a glass of wine I had left of my bedside table.

"I feel better now than I have in a while. I needed the release. I _feel_...I feel like more of myself again. He's had his time of complacent Namina. You have no idea how much I hate being _her_. But you do know how I feel about him."

"Yes I do know. Very well, in fact. Our princess is certainly fervent in her beliefs and feelings. In all things, mind you."

"You're so patient with me" I set to work on my face, putting kohl around my eyes and doing my best to hide the red cry-splotches on my cheeks.

"Well, you are stubborn down to your core and can be very dramatic some times, but usually you're very easy to deal with. I've heard horror stories from some of the other lady's maids and from those tales you actually seem perfectly docile in comparison."

"Yes, well, be sure to spread the gossip of this specific breakdown. The royal bitch throws a fit before dinner, ruining both her own dress and her lady's! They'd love th- _Ouch!_ "

I rubbed my head where Mara had wacked me with the hairbrush in her hand.

"Oh do get over yourself, Princess. You aren't _that_ interesting." she chided playfully.

I laughed sadly before sighing and placing my fingers against my temples. "You're right. I do nothing but wallow in self-pity half the time. But you have the gift of pulling me out of it. I hope I get to keep you close to me after…" I trailed off, the mood in the room instantly souring.

 _After the wedding._

Less than six months left. The date would be announced tonight for early autumn. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

Silently, Mara finished with my hair.

"He's a monster," she said.

"You tried to warn me." I breathed.

Mara shrugged, "I only realized a month before you did."

"And here we are a year later. He still has his iron grip around me."

 _His tether around my soul._

"Yes, but you fight. Even now, you fight it."

Mara was the only other person besides my father, the King, and Daroth who knew what I had given him. _The deal with the devil._

"I'm no better than him. You know that. What I've _done_ …what he made me do to-"

She cut me off, "Yes. What _he_ _made you do_."

"I'm Daroth's tool to torture his enemies. It's a low low feeling…" I trailed off as the images came unbidden. I could still see the life draining from their bodies, still hear the screams. The horror of it all flashed across my face.

"Namina Kalea Dorn, you stop this." Mara swatted my arm, snapping me from the nightmare. Her words doused me like ice.

I turned to her, shocked.

"For eight years I've been trying to get you to call me anything but 'Princess' and now of all times do you choose to call me Namina."

Mara shrugged playfully. "Honestly? 'Princess' is just easier to say than 'Namina' is."

A breathy laugh escaped my lips.

I handed her my diadem and she placed it where it belonged. With so many royal functions this last year, it had practically become a normal accessory.

When she spoke again, her voice held a tinge of sadness that I realized was for me. "Well, you will make a wonderful queen and will have a great influence upon Irisidea like your mother. And if I have my way, I will still be your lady's maid. "

I bit my lip "…and if not?"

Her hands fell on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze. "Then I will always be your friend."

I continued to talk. I had already said more in the last half-hour than in I had the whole week. "Dinner should be an interesting affair. Daroth will be announcing our wedding and coronation date to this inner circle of supporters. He might mention other matters of business but I'm not sure. We aren't sharing much with one another these days. Though, I'll probably have to feign adoration for him. He might even make me toast him." I rolled my eyes at the prospect. Mocking it helped deal with the anxiety of it.

"Even if you do, show him how the fire is back in your eyes. Don't let it go out again. _Keep fighting._ "

I nodded, fisting and un-fisting my hands more out of renewed vigor than fear.

"Thank you, Mara."

"My pleasure, Princess."

I met her eyes. "Your father will be at the dinner tonight. I know you haven't spoken to him in a while but if you would like I can deliver a message to him."

Mara smirked. "Yes. Tell him to give my regards to mother and my brothers. Then, tell him he's a cad for supporting High Advisor Daroth."

I laughed. "I'll relay the message for you."

.

"…and after dinner, Daroth pulled me aside and reprimanded me for saying such things. His face was beet red! He did know what to do with me!" Mara giggled as I told her of the dinner. We both lay sprawled on my bed, laughing and gripping our stomachs.

I sighed as we both calmed. "Of course, the date was announced and everyone is looking forward to it now. Even after calling him a charlatan in front of the most loyal of loyal they still congratulated us and wished us a love-filled life. Daroth took me aside afterwards and told me I'd pay for it. Theres nothing worse he can do though than marry me. A marriage. Its actually happening." I frowned.

"Yes, it is already the talk of the palace. An autumn wedding with reds and oranges to go along with the gold and black of Irisidea."

"Sounds like a fire." I wiggled my fingers in a representation of flames and spoke as mystically and mockingly as I could. "Irisidea will burn under our rule."

"Oddly that reminds me, there's been an update on the plague."

I propped myself up on my elbow, shocked to be hearing this. "What plague?" Being always watched and never far from Daroth's side meant I only received the news he wanted me to hear.

"You haven't heard? They are calling it the red plague. Some call it the fever plague. The gist from what I have heard is that when one catches it, fever sets in so deep that it burns the skin to blistering. The infected burns for nearly two weeks before they either heal or die from exhaustion. It is starting to spread east."

"I want to help."

Mara sat up. "You're a healer! Thats right! But would you be allowed?"

"Of course not. But it doesn't change the fact that I want to help. If I petition the King and plead a strong case, maybe I would be allowed this gift. Daroth can assign a whole regiment to me if he wants. I know trying to flee is pointless. But if I can help some of those people…"

"You have a good heart, Princess"

"I wish I did. I'm stubborn and inconsiderate and way too opinionated."

"Yes, and you are also brave and kind-hearted."

"Thank you Mara. Though I wish I had your levelheadedness."

"Yes, well, we all want to be who we aren't don't we?"

"What would you be, if you could be anything?"

"Honestly, I would love to be a knight. I lack courage but to be able to fight for what I hold dear and go on adventure after adventure would be a dream come true."

"A knight? I never would have suspected! Mara of the Wilden house! The first lady knight of Irisidea!" I laughed.

"And what would you do?"

"I'd be a healer. A real one. And I'd help with the plague."

Mara played with a strand of my hair. "I think you should ask to help now. You're a talented mage. I'm sure if you convinced Daroth it was for his gain he would let you go."

I shook my head. "I don't think that it would be that easy. But maybe…"

Mara raised an eyebrow. "Have an idea do you?"

I smiled. "I just might."

* * *

 _ **Mina's song: Monster by Imagine Dragons. Also Alive by Krewella when she's optimistic/with Rhys**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Hope everyone's year was great and wishing you all a very wonderful 2016.**

* * *

I meander back to my small room in the Healing Quarters and pack my meager belongings in my cloak. While I have little, I take my time, thinking on my life here as I pack. As I reach under the bed, I pull out the starry-night dress that I had stashed months before. It is filthy but still shimmers beautifully.

Should I take it with me?  
I decide to slip it back under the bed. If I can, I will come retrieve it at a later date, when all of this is behind me.

I stand in the doorway as I leave the room I have called home for the last four months and glance around. My tattered and warm blanket is folded nicely at the base of the small bed and my dresser is now bare. A small vase with a few wildflowers still gives the room a hint of life.

It is exponentially smaller than my rooms in Irisidea but has given me more warmth and comfort than I could imagine.

This whole place will be hard to leave.

Gallen has become a sort of makeshift home to me. While I knew it would never last, I can't help but to feel the ache. Maren, Tasha, Reyna, Renald, Ren, and Percy; I must leave them behind as well.

I wont even have time to say goodbye to any of them.

 _Stop this. You have no time to get sentimental either._

I give one last stroke to doorframe to say goodbye before I walk down the hall without another glance back.

Rhys will be expecting me any moment now.

I run into the workroom, toss my owlfeather cloak and a sack on the table, and slam open a cabinet. Medicines, herbs, poultices, it is all stuffed into the bag. Rhys will only wait so long and I must hurry. The reality of us getting out of here causes my pulse to race.

 _Soon!_

As I reach for a specific jar of nightshade, someone speaks.

"I see you still have the cloak I gave you."

My fingers freeze in midair. Cold dread leaks down my spine. I spin around and fall back, my impact against the cabinet jarring some of the glass.

What I come face to face with is something I have hoped never to see.

Or rather, whom I come face to face with.

Daroth stands before me, in all the glory and beauty I remember. Even now, as I hate him, I can't help but to feel drawn to him. Luckily I know this is the bond, not my own emotions calling for his touch.

"You found me," I say dumbly. I look past him at the courtyard. There is little action and no sign of anyone familiar.

"Well you didn't make it very hard, did you?" My gaze is brought back to Daroth. I almost feel the need laugh at his sarcastic retort. If four months were easy, I'd hate to see what hard would be for him.  
Daroth looks me up and down slowly, as if he is having trouble taking me in.

"Even as a peasant you are fetching." He muses.

I turn to run through the door into the infirmary but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him.

"Ah ah, Namina. Where do you think you are off to?" He holds both my wrists now.

Reyna suddenly walks through the door in a cheerful mood, but as soon as she sees Daroth and I her happy manner drops away. "Mina, what is going on?"

Daroth looks at her for only a second before turning back to me.  
"Yes _, Mina_. What _is_ going on? Are you done with this little charade of yours?"

Reyna's confusion deepens.

"Reyna. You need to leave." the words come out calmer than I expect. I am grateful for that. No need to frighten her further.

"Go find Tasha. Tell her I won't be coming in today."

She turns to go, but Daroth releases me, grabs her arm, and pulls her back.

"Ah, ah, but I want to meet your friends! Reyna is it? Do you know who Mina is? Who she _really_ is?" His singsong tone is deathly.

"N-no" Reyna is almost as red as her freckles now.

"Let her go Daroth. You're conflict is with me." I storm him but he pushes me aside with one arm and i fall to the floor, tripping over a chair.

Daroth clucks. "I did warn you, Namina."

His words about slaughtering those I love come back to my mind.

 _No! Oh, Gods no!_ I stumble up, ready to charge again, but he holds up a hand in warning.

He turns back to Reyna who now realizes just how dire this situation is becoming. She knows the man who holds her is the King of Irisidea. As to who I am…"Tis a pity really that our Mina has been lying all this time. You see, the woman standing before you is actually the Princess Namina Kalea of Irisidea and I am her husband."

I take a step forward; glad my feet haven't given way even though they feel like jelly "You are _not_ my husband. I command you to release her and then we will talk and I will go with you. You will win. But I promise you _, King Daroth_ , if you harm her, I will never cooperate." There has to be a way to distract him long enough to get Reyna to safety and move this confrontation away from the healing quarters. All he has to do is let her go.

Daroth pretends to contemplate my offer for a long while. I hear a small shaky squeal from Reyna.

She is petrified.

Then, with dark eyes and a sinister smile, Daroth places his other hand against Reyna's neck.

"I think not"

I scream at the exact same time Reyna's body falls to the ground. I collapse and reach out to her, to try to heal her, but am caught around the waist.

The tears fall freely even as Daroth pulls me back to my feet. He wont even let me mourn.

"How could you?" I growl. "You monster!"

Daroth brings his face mere inches from my own. "I did warn you, little bird." I choke out another sob and look down at Reyna, her fire-red hair draped over her face like a veil. Daroth's trembling fingers on my cheek cause me to flinch. He is timorous with excitement.

"It is soooo good to have you back, Namina. You have no idea how much I have missed this."

"You _killed_ her," I whisper.

He laughs heartily as if I have just told him a funny story "You overreact, little bird. I merely knocked her unconscious. And besides, she is nothing. A common Gallen servant. You can't tell me you would have truly mourned for the girl."

I look at Reyna again and notice her chest fall and rise rhythmically. A sigh of relief rushes through my lips.

"She is my friend."

"My mistake then. I should have actually killed her. Slowly. While you watch." His eyes narrow dangerously.

"I hate you." I get out between heavy breaths.

"Good. I was hoping to still have some of you to break. Now to as why I am here…"

Daroth looks around the room to make sure we are fully alone before waving his hand at the door. It slams shut.

 _Summoning magic._

 _He is stronger._

"I have a job or you, Namina. A very special job. One I think you will enjoy very immensely." His hand wanders down to my sternum as he lets the silky words brush my ear. At first I am afraid he will draw power from me and leave me comatose, but then I am more terrified than I have been in a long time. More than I have been in the last five months. I know what he is planning with a snap in my mind.

"No! I wont do it. Not again. Please Daroth." I try to pull away but he holds me in place. "Don't do this!"

It is too late, however. I can feel his magic seeping into my core. This twisted sort of Spirit magic is what keeps the black guard in check. It's what caused me to kill my father and uncle. And now he wants me to kill again.

Out of all the things I had expected if he found me, this is the least. With his hand still on my chest now glowing a dark purple, he whispers his command.

"You will come with me to the new years celebration tonight. You will cooperate and obey every command I give you. And when I tell you, you will stab the crown prince through the heart"

Without warning, Daroth releases me and walks out of the workroom, wiping his hands on his sleeves while he does. He doesn't even a glance back, but only calls out, "I have a meeting to attend to. I'll have someone send for you to be cleaned up and prepared for tonight. Until then, do not leave this room and do not tell anyone what has conspired."

.

I am near breaking as I clutch the doorframe. It is the farthest I've been able to go in the last hour. The nausea that sets in at trying to push myself through the threshold of the workroom is unbearable here.

Reyna still sleeps on the floor. I could probably wake her but I cannot bring myself to. There would be too much to explain. I only write a quick and vague note using some parchment and a quill in the cabinets and lay it on the table.

I will my lips to yell for anyone. I will my feet to move, but nothing has happened. I only stand awkwardly and out of breath, trying to defy Daroth.

 _Just a few more inches. Surely I can break this spell!_

I lean forward a few more millimeters.

I am so close!

Suddenly, I fall back, pulled by some invisible force, and stumble to the floor. The sickness that passes over me makes me want to retch, but I also cannot breathe for a moment.

I gag on my hands and knees before heaving in several deep breaths. Nothing is working. I am not strong enough to break the spell.

 _This is not working! And why has Rhys not come looking for me yet?_

I need an idea. Any idea.

Then suddenly, it comes.

I will play Daroth's game. I will stab Siranthen, but I will do it my way.

I have to let Daroth believe he has won. How will I do this? By intoxicating myself like I used to. The urge is already starting. Giving into it will not be hard.

The only problem is, once I am under the influence of wine, I will have little control. I will need to purge myself.

I will need to _heal_ myself.

With Daroth stronger than ever, surely this means that I am as well. I may be able to heal, but I will have to test it first. Stumbling in anticipation, I grab my cloak and pull out my knife.

I have to know.

With a bite of my lip I slide the blade across my palm. The mark is quick and deep and I have to hold back a gasp of pain.

 _Focus Namina. Just focus._

I shut my eyes tight as my magic flares.

I let my mind wander to the cut. I feel the warm of my blood as it drips off my palm and hits the wood floor below.

 _Come on. Come on…_

Suddenly, I'm aware of the pain not with my physical senses but with my healing senses. I let my eyes open and witness the cut glowing a muddled blue. The skin knits back together, leaving just dried blood on my palm.

I am near to collapsing but elated with my success. A jubilant cry escapes me.

 _I can do this!_

"By the gods!" Reyna murmurs under her breath, now sitting up. "You should not be able to do that. Even the most expert healers cannot heal themselves."

I turn to her and sigh. "I should not be able to do a lot of things. Are you alright?"

Reyna rubs her neck, "I feel fine. I just fell unconscious. It was so bizarre."

I point to the table, where the piece of parchment has begun to roll up.

"I wrote a note, explaining everything I could. Take it and tell everyone what you saw. Tell them to leave here. Forget the celebrations. Get out of the city as quick as you can. You will all be in danger."

She walks up to the table and picks up my message. "That was really the King of Irisidea."

"Yes. And I -" The spell keeps me from saying who I am. But she knows. "I'm sorry I never told you." I say. And I mean it. I _am_ sorry. "But I have a plan and I'm not afraid anymore. Now leave before he comes back. I can't bare to see any of you near him."

Reyna closes the gap between us and hugs me tight. I return it, comforted by the close touch.

"Be careful."

"You too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Now get out!"

I watch as my friend heads deeper into the Healing Quarters and imagine her going straight to Tasha, relaying everything that has happened. As soon as she is through the door I lock it from this side. Better to make sure no one comes to question me. I cannot say much anyhow.

Despite everything, as I think about it I cant help but to smile at the idea of Maren hearing the news.

She will have a conniption, I am sure of it.

Someone clears their throat.

I look up to see one of the royal servants looking down at me with disdain.

'How can I help you?"

"I am here to bring you to King Daroth's chambers."

I find I am nodding. I stand on shaky legs.

Without saying another word, and leaving the sack of medicines and my owlfeather cloak behind, I follow the man toward whatever Daroth has planned for me.

.

I am a prisoner once more. This time as they bathe and dress me, I do not fight. My quarrel is not with them. It is with Daroth.

As the servants that were called in dress me, I steal several glasses of wine from Daroth's table. It is dangerous to start drinking this early, but I need something to calm my nerves before I get to the party itself. It will help me focus on what I need to accomplish tonight. At least that is what I tell myself. In part, until it is time for action, I don't want to feel anything anymore. I go through a tentative list of objectives in my head, regardless:

 _Play along, gain his trust, betray Daroth and save Siranthen._

Honestly I don't know if it will be possible.

I may possibly pass out instead of healing myself.

When they are done dressing me, I am led to a large mirror so that I may watch them make the finishing touches.

My shorter hair has been pulled up into a loose up-do held with pins and laden with baby's breath. The pale silver dress I wear is of Gallen make: the skirt full and the bodice formed to me held up with thick straps. It is scandalous by Gallen standards but modest by Irisidean.

"Specially made this afternoon!" the woman who delivered it had said.

A bit of shimmery glitter is brushed along my cheeks and nose as well as on my collarbone and the earrings and pendant that I have been asked to wear is made up of lapis lazuli.

I look almost ethereal.

I look undead.

The girl who meets my eyes is not I.

I do not recognize her now in finery.

In fact I find I have come to hate her.

"You look lovely, my dear. You should feel honored the Irisidean King took such a fancy to you!" A strawberry blonde haired woman says. I do not know what lie this woman has been fed to make her believe that this is some honor bestowed upon me. Maybe she thinks me a courtesan. Or just a lucky servant girl swept up in an exotic romance. I do not smile in return.

She does not seem to notice.

"Such a lucky thing to become the King's consort for the evening!" The woman gushes, fussing over the hem of my new gown.

Another woman I vaguely recognize speaks up. "I have to say though, we was all betting you'd end up with your guard friend. A rich man must have been enough temptation enough to leave him." My blood boils at the remark. Rhys is more the man than Daroth ever pretended to be.

On the outside, my features are devoid of any emotion. On the inside, I am screaming. To think that this woman considers me the type of woman to go after wealth sickens me. That, coupled with the small fact that she has no idea how ruthless and evil a man like King Daroth is, makes me want to vomit all over this "lovely dress."

Or accidently spill the dark wine I still hold in my hand.

It is only thanks to the magical command that I hold my tongue and my glass still.

She stands and adjusts a bit of my hair. "There child. Now you are truly fit for a king. I will call on an escort to bring you to the ball"

"No need" Daroth calls from the doorway. Both woman and I turn. She drops into a low curtsy. I do not.

He smiles and comes into the light of the room. His dark blue doublet brings out those brilliant blue eyes and his hair is impeccably curled and pulled back. Silver piping lines the doublet and his breeches. I realize with some horror that my dress and finery was picked to match his.

He has me back where he wants me: At his side, but not as his equal. No, in his eyes I am his subordinate. I am the dog he expects to sleep at his feet and obey his commands.

"Drinking again? Need I start limiting your wine intake once more? You seemed to develop a problem only months ago" he pulls the half-empty glass from my hand and sets it on the table. I do not mind. It was my third glass. My insides are warm enough to calm me.

He holds out his arm.

"Shall we, my dear?"

I stand as still as possible, only blinking as I stare into his eyes.

If only I could relay what I am feeling to him. If only I could destroy him with my gaze.

"Take my arm," he says calmly, though his eyes also speak of murder.

The spell kicks in and I feel the nausea surge through me. Due to the added slight inebriation, if I hold off on obeying much longer I may pass out.

It would mean not having to accompany him to the ball and perhaps saving Siranthen, but it could just make a larger opening for Daroth to try something else.

I must consent for the time being.

I reach for him and it all disappears in an instant.

He pats my hand as it rests on his arm.

"Good girl"

.

As we walk through the tan stone and marble halls, neither Daroth nor I speak.

I have nothing to say to him. All I want is to turn on him and wrap my hands around that throat of his. To cut off his airways would be a delightful treat after all he is done.

The closer we get to the Gallen grand ballroom, the more crowded the halls become. Soon Gallen courtiers and other high-ranking officials sprinkled here and there with Irisidean guests surround us. Many nod or bow in respect of Daroth. A few recognize me but keep quiet.

After Daroth gives greetings to an older gentleman decorated with various medallions, he leans in to whisper in my ear.

"We need to make a stop."

I am pulled into a servant's hall with a sharp tug to the right.

The memory of my nineteenth birthday flashes through my mind. This hall is not unlike the one he had pulled me into then as well.

"Now then, shall we get you ready for your assignment?"

"Have you declared it to the world that you've finally found your lost princess?" I let everything I am feeling come out with the question.

"Actually, I have yet to announce your heritage to anyone other than the King and that boy of his. They are the only ones who know that my lovely Namina has been on a little retreat for months now." His knuckles brush my cheek. I slap his hand away but I can still feel the trail of fire along my skin.

I shouldn't have drunk so much so soon.

My words are slightly slurred "Do you know what I have been doing in these months away from you? I've been helping people. But you? You continue to kill for advantage and terrorize those who are beneath you. You wonder why I no longer love you. Blood oath or not, I am no longer yours."

Daroth only laughs and cups my chin tightly. "Oh, I missed your sharp tongue. A wife should not have such words for her husband."

"I am _not_ your wife. Stop saying such things." I seethe.

"Actually, you are. I was able to pull some strings a week ago and make our marriage legal and binding, even if unfinished. It was very easy to convince the officiator that you wouldn't be in your right mind once you were found. Due to the nature of your situation and all that is."  
"You are a sick twisted soul."

He smiles to himself. "Thank you, dear. I appreciate those kind words."

I watch as he pulls out a small, thin dagger. A ripple of panic courses through me for at first I think he is about to use it on me.

"What is that?"

Daroth gives me a pointed look. "The murder weapon of course. Poison would be easier, but I plan on making a spectacle of you. Once word gets out, you will never be taken seriously as a Queen."

His hands find my side and I am shocked to find a small pocket in the side of my bodice, just wide enough to place the weapon out of sight. The hilt blends in with the embroidery of the bodice itself.

There are a thousand things I want to say to him but I feel too overwhelmed. I feel myself beginning to regress back to Princess Namina, betrothed of High Advisor Daroth.

"Now, when we enter, you will keep to me until I tell you it is time to ask our royal benefactor to dance. When the clock strikes ten, you will take this knife" his hand grazes my side where he has tucked the damn thing, "and you will stab that princeling in the heart. He will never see the New Year. Understood?"

"Yes, Advisor" I glare at him. I decide he knows how I feel.

No need saying it.

"Good." Daroth kisses my forehead before pulling us out of the servant's hall and back into the crowd of partygoers on their way into the ballroom. We stand in line, waiting to be announced.

Well, for Daroth to be announced.

"And call me King Daroth in front of our guests, will you? I would appreciate it greatly."


	32. Chapter 32

**_Three Months Before_**

I looked ridiculous.

I had asked Mara to help me look more like a queen and she had, but I had always hated the dark makeup and diadem.

 _This is all for a purpose_ , I kept telling myself.

If I look in charge, there is a better chance of my uncle and father complying.

The dress covered more skin than my usual choices and for that I was grateful. Long sleeves complemented a high neckline. The dress was one solid green and my hair had been artfully pulled up and pinned.

I looked several years older.

The idea was to bypass Daroth and go straight to my uncle and father. I would state my case as eloquently as possible and convince them both that I belonged at the frontlines of the red plague.

It was a long shot and I knew it, but I had to take this chance.

I had to ask.

I had to help.

Within a few minutes, I stood in front of the King.

"I ask a boon, your highness" I curtsied deep. King Signor looked at me shrewdly. My father stood beside him, watching with dark eyes.

"What is it you want child? I thought all affairs of yours were now the responsibility of the High-Advisor."

"They are, but I require a special favor. One I would feel would be best served coming from someone with more authority and respect."

He looked bored already but the complement peaked his interest. "Go on"

"The red plague in the south. I would like to join the other healers and apothecaries in fighting this illness. I know I am still young in my training but I know I may be of service to my country and kingdom if I am but allowed."

Both men stared at me.

After a few moments, my father looked past me and said, "What have you to say of this, High Advisor?" My blood turned to ice, effectively freezing me where I stood.

He stood right behind me now. I could feel his body heat.

I blinked slowly.

Daroth placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. A warning.

He stepped forward and bowed before turning to face me. His eyes danced with fury and never left mine as he spoke.

"This is the first I have heard of this, Your Grace. I would highly advise against it. Despite her willingness and her magical strength, Princess Namina's powers are less honed than the other healers. She would only be a burden to those around her. It is best she stay here in Renor with us."

"I agree, Advisor. Namina, you are dismissed"

"But-"

"Now!" my father barked. I sucked in a breath and stared at all three men. All I wanted was a chance to help. Could they not see that? Did they think I meant to try to run away? I knew any chance of that would be for naught.

I would be found before I even made it five hundred feet.

"As you will it." I said curtly.

I turned to go, my pride aching.

Daroth grabbed my upper arm and pulled me close.

"Do not think this little show of insubordination will go unpunished, Namina. I will deal with you later" he whispered harshly before pushing me towards the door.

.

A few hours later I was to have tutoring with him.

Fear crept into my chest and caused me to imagine countless scenarios of torture. I clenched and unclenched my left fist as I walked towards his chambers. My right hand held a knife in the fold of my skirts. It had been easy enough to acquire the weapon from the kitchens. All I had to do was ask. No one questioned the reason and, thankfully, no one went to Daroth for permission.

While I hoped not to have to use the knife, I knew I couldn't face him without the reassurance that I could defend myself if needed.

I sat on a small cushioned bench by a large window in the front of his chambers. I hadn't wanted to wait any further towards the bed. The knife I had brought with me lay under my skirts.

If he tried anything, I would attack him.

As I waited for Daroth to arrive, I helped myself to his store of wine. It was the only thing that got me though his lessons anymore. It was the only thing that kept me calm enough to function. And while I did not want to admit it, I had come to crave the burn of the alcohol on my throat.

My mind fumbled through what might happen once Daroth came for me as my fingers traced the glass of one of the wine bottles. Would he make me torture someone I knew this time? So far it had just been poor homeless peasants mostly and one unlucky servant who had angered Lord Rane.

My biggest fear is that he would attack me outright. That he would drain me enough to incapacitate me and then take advantage of the whole situation. Daroth had been good at least in the respect that he did not force me to share a bed with him in months. He would tease or threaten, but he had not acted on the desire.

When Daroth finally came into his chambers, he locked the door behind him.

I swallowed and felt for the knife underneath my skirts.

He looked at me with venom. "What you did was low, Namina. After everything I have done for you, you repay me by going behind my back and asking to leave?

Even in my fear I couldn't hold back a snarky remark.

I retorted. "You have done nothing for me. You keep me here against my will when all I want to do is go and help. Do not make me feel like I am the one betraying you."

He rolled his eyes.

"Don't make yourself out to be the damsel in distress."

"You've said yourself that you _own_ me."

"And I do. But that doesn't make you a victim." He paced.

"We have very different ideas on what makes someone a victim then."

"Maybe we do, but that matters not right now. You are to pay for your insolence."

"What am I to face then? Shall you string me up like a common criminal? Or beat me until I'm black and blue?" I waved the bottle in my hand as I spoke.

I heard his huff "You haven't pushed me that far. Yet."

"Let me go and you wont have to worry. Stop forcing me to torture those you look down upon."

The sound of his laughter pierced my heart. "I find it funny how you still try to convince me to release you. Even if I could, you will never stop being mine. You may fight me and act like a bitch but no matter what you try, it will never be enough." Daroth had stopped pacing and stood facing me now. There was a dangerous lacing to his tone. "Now I suggest you cooperate or there will be hell to pay. Your lessons today are on obedience."

He reached for me and I pulled back. My hand clutched the knife tighter. This was it.

"You will not touch me." I spat.

"I will do what I want" He grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bench.

I did my best to struggle out of his grasp but he was strong. Daroth noticed the knife and went for it but I kept it out of reach. I yelled and kicked, but it made no difference. Still, I fought him with all I had.

As I was rammed against the wall I panicked.

My actions seemed not my own.

Without thinking, I screamed and plunged the knife into his chest.

Daroth's eyes flew wide and he grunted from pain but his grip never lessened. I breathed hard, the only sound in the room for a few heart stopping seconds. He was so still. Had I killed him? My body began to convulse from the horror I had just committed.

"Of all the…" strained words escaped his lips.

I jumped and nearly sobbed as one of Daroth's hands let go of my arm and pulled the dagger from his chest. Blood welled and soaked the front of his doublet. A mixture of terror and relief welled in me as he moved. I could feel his pulse through his grip on me. It was slowing but not naturally. I covered my mouth with both my hands.

His eyes met mine with a lethal intensity.

The knife dropped from his hand, clattering to the floor with a deafening sound.

"Did you just try to kill me?" His words were soft.

Deadly.

I couldn't control my body enough to reply. I was shaking too hard, the shock too much to bear.

He slammed me back against the wall, holding me tight. Blood splattered against me.

"DID YOU?!" He screamed.

"I- I don't know," I whispered, shaking my head back and forth, over and over. I was disgusted. Disgusted I had tried to kill him, disgusted I had failed. His hands left my body and landed against the wall on either side of me. I whimpered.

Daroth let out a low laugh. The strain was still in his voice but he seemed to not notice. "I can't believe you actually tried to kill me. I never would have thought you had it in you, Namina." His gaze pinned me still. "I'm actually almost impressed"

I glanced from his face to his blood-covered shirt to his face once more.

He looked down at his shirt as well.

"Hmm. Tis a pity. This was my favorite doublet. He touched the front of the shirt, his fingers coming back bright red.

Slowly, his hand lifted until he cupped my chin tightly, the blood marring my skin. My teeth rattled.

This was it.

This would be the end.

 _He's going to kill me now._

I couldn't watch as he leaned in, only stared at the stained glass window on the other side of the room as his cheek pressed against mine. His words burned my ear.

"I suppose I can only blame myself for this. You see I forgot to mention something about the vow. Our lives are tied together, your soul to mine. We may still die, but not at the hands of the other. Try as you might, you will never succeed in killing me for I cannot kill you either." He pulled away, dragging his hand from my jaw to press against my sternum, smearing his blood on my neck and down the front of my dress.

"Now, will you heal me, or should I? The pain is quite unbearable." He grunted.

I just stared, wide-eyed and shaking.

He smiled grimly.

"Ah. I see. Then allow me"

His fingers pressed into my skin and as he pulled power from my soul I slipped away into darkness.

.

I woke up, disoriented. My first view was of familiar dark red fabric reflecting the dancing light of the stone fireplace. I stared at it, confused, before realizing I was still in Daroth's room and sprawled out on his bed. It took me only a heartbeat to remember what had happened. I glanced down and noticed the green dress and my collarbone smeared with crusted brown blood. My whole body ached from the pull of power.

A hand on my hair startled me and I flinched.

"Glad to see you are awake." Daroth crooned as he lounged beside me. He had changed and looked clean. I was obviously still disheveled. A glance around let me know the room was darker, meaning it was evening at the earliest.

He must have just tossed me on his bed and gone about his day.

My thoughts turned to Mara and I imagined her in a panic at my disappearance.

There was a dull throbbing in my head. I tried to sit up but struggled with the movements, my body full of lead. I felt Daroth's hand land on my shoulder as he leaned over me. He pushed me back to the bed before I got even a few inches off the surface.

"Ah, ah. Conserve your strength. You are still weak. That's the most power I have ever pulled from you." His hand stroked my hair. "I should thank you for that. Not only did I heal myself but this is the best I have felt in a long while."

I turned my head and scowled, looking up into that smug countenance. "If only you had not had access to it. I would have ultimately enjoyed seeing you suffer." I croaked.

Daroth just chuckled.

"You have too sharp a tongue Namina. You should have seen yourself after you plunged the blade in, though. You were visibly upset. Pathetic really."

"So what are you going to do to me now?" I asked, searching his face. His gestures and actions were so affectionate in nature but still lined with a deep darkness.

That darkness scared me the most.

It was a darkness that I could not fathom the magnitude of.

He glanced off towards the fireplace. "I had thought about letting you feel the same blade enter your flesh. Something tells me you would be less likely to handle the pain as I did. Several other punishments I could inflict have entered my mind. But I've decided you've been punished enough for this discretion."

" _This_ discretion?"

"Do not think I have forgotten about earlier. You went above my head to your father and your uncle. And do not overlook the fact that you answer to me now, not them." He kissed the corner of my mouth in a feather soft manner.

Almost lovingly.

"That being said I have not fully decided what you will do to atone. You were only going to spend a few hours in a cell, but then you drew that knife on me. I'll have to see that the kitchen staff is punished for that. I might even make you watch. You do love seeing others suffer in your place."

I grimaced.

"Don't discipline them. This is all my doing."

"They disobeyed orders too, Namina."

I shivered at the thought of what he might do to them. Of what he might make _me_ do to them.

As for your punishment, there are a lot of options to consider: A few days without meals, a spell to keep you bound to your room, daily draining, broken fingers for a few hours. They all seem fit for the crime. However, your little stunt has given me an idea. I will let you know the details later once I've worked things out in my mind."

I could have cared less about his "idea" or its details.

I stared at him as coolly as possible.

"Did it hurt?"

"The knife? Very much so."

"Good."

He laughed. His fingers wound and unwound in my hair and his eyes softened just a degree as he looked down on me.

I frowned.

"You are so beautiful. Why can't you be more obedient?"

"Don't even think about taking advantage of me right now" I spat. I may have been weak but I was not going to let him touch me more than he was already.

He shook his head and pretended to be deeply hurt. "I may steal caresses every now and then but I would never ravish you, Namina. We are to be married. After the ceremony I will take advantage of how beautiful you are whenever I please, but until then even I have boundaries. No matter how much our connection pleads otherwise."

Our connection. That _gods damned_ vow.

As much as I hated to admit it, I still found myself somewhat attracted to Daroth. He was beautiful.

He was also cruel.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Why are you so tender towards me? It's a mockery of what you, what we, used to be. Or what I thought we were. It only makes things worse"

Daroth sighed, his hand moving from my hair to stroke my arm.

"Because I desire you. Because I know if you would only submit yourself you would learn to be happy."

I spoke evenly. "I don't want desire, Daroth. I want love. I'll never submit willingly. You know that. I would become an empty shell of myself if I pretended this was anything but what it is. I hate you and want you dead, even though I still fell drawn to you. Most of those feelings now come from the soul binding. You want me obedient and pliant to your will. You want to rule me as much as you want to rule my country. Neither of us will ever fully get what we want."

All I wanted was to dart from the room and hide but I was still weak. Weak in body and weak in spirit. I couldn't fight right now. I could only try to reason.

Daroth became smug once more "That is where you are wrong, Namina. I do not give up so easily. One day you will tire of all this fighting. I'm a patient, calculating man. I can wait until then."

.

 ** _Two Months Before_**

In the three weeks following the incident, I stayed out of everyone's way as much as possible. I came to be drained when Daroth commanded and I spent the rest of the time with Mara or in the menagerie. Of course, I was never fully alone. Two of the Black Guards flanked my door at all times and when I left my rooms for whatever reasons, they followed.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the more docile me.

It was the constant pattern: a few weeks or so of rebellion and fire before being stifled and the more obedient Namina would take the stage for a time until I felt the ignition once more.

When I fell into the slump, I felt I was a broken creature seeping anguish wherever I went.

"Is this so bad?" Daroth whispered one day after he had drained my magic and I had healed.

I stayed silent and only glared at him. He chuckled as if I had just told a good joke and dismissed me without further notice.

It wasn't until he gave me the order for the recompense he desired that the fight flared back up in me.

"No! What are you saying?" I pushed myself against Daroth's headboard, the little I could do after being drained. While some days he would drain me enough to keep me lucid, other days he got greedy. Those were the days I would stay in his room, usually sprawled out on his bed in an unconscious state.

When I awoke, he was always there. It was as if he knew how long I would be out.

Daroth watched me coolly while seated at his desk.

"I am saying that in order for me to forgive you, you will kill Prince Karthon and King Signor."

The order had been so shocking that it had caused another wave of dizziness to pass over me despite having slept most of the weakness off.

"You can't make me, Daroth. Lock me up in the cells! Make me stand in a corner for days. I just can't kill anyone!"

"Even if it is someone you loathe? I've seen the way you look at them, Namina. You wish to be free of them"

"I wish to be free of _you_!"

Daroth harrumphed. "Again with that. Don't you ever tire of fighting me? All it would take is a vow of obedience and a show of love and I would give you full reign of the entire country should you want it."

He came to me then.

"It would all be yours. I would be yours too as you are mine, but you refuse to take the offer."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him as if to drain me again.

"I'm already weak. You wont get much"

"I'm not going to drain you." He placed his hand on my chest and his magic flared dark purple.

"I'm going to command you. I've discovered Spirit magic works both ways. I can read your intentions and feelings and I can also give you commands that you will have to fulfill. I've heard from various test subjects outside the black guard that the side-effects are quite unbearable."

 _"Test-subjects?"_

"Yes. Peasants that won't be missed, criminals, people I generally just hate, and so on. I've been giving them commands ranging from fulfilling small requests to punishing themselves and others."

"You've been torturing even more _innocent_ people! Just to find out the limits of your magic?"

"Would you rather me test it all on you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That's diabolical, Daroth! How can you live with yourself? Did you ever care for others or have you always been this heartless and evil?"

Daroth looked like he was about to give me an answer but then shook his head. His hand pressed down harder.

"Enough with the stalling, little bird. Now here is what you will do. You kill your father and your uncle. How you do it is up to you, but I want your uncle's soul syphoned and brought to me. Both as proof as the deed completed and because it will give me quite the boost." He shoved me away then. I felt no different.

"Syphoned?"

"Through blood. You'll find it instinctual to bring the soul with it. Bring me a vial of his blood."

"Never!"

Daroth laughed. "I think you will find that you won't be able to resist doing it. Considering your considerable strength and gift for pissing me off, it might take a while, but in the end you'll do it. And when you do, you'll come to feel more power than you've ever felt. You'll feel the craving I do and you'll cease with your tirades. I promise you that."


	33. Chapter 33

**Here's a new chapter for your reading pleasure.**

 **Reviews are LOVED!**

* * *

Daroth is announced and he leads me into the ballroom on his arm.

I find I cannot really focus on one particular thing. Every color, every sound, every semblance of shape just molds into one another for a good minute before I can finally make out the ladies and lords in all their finery. Quite a few look in the direction of us: of the King of Irisidea and a seemingly unrecognizable servant girl in a ball gown.

It is suddenly very overwhelming.

 _This is just another ball. You've been to many a ball in your life, Namina._

I let out a shaky breath.

Time to act as docile as possible.

As Daroth replies to various congratulations on the pending peace treaty, I stand silently as he holds beside him with an arm. Occasionally servants pass with serving platters loaded with small Gallen delicacies or carrying frosted goblets of white wine.

I grab a glass and I am able to down a few solid gulps before Daroth plucks it out of my hand while still taking to a grey-haired robust lord. His arm tightens around my waist in warning and I do nothing but let out a small huff of air.

The Lord looks at me with disdain and Daroth laughs.

"My lady friend here fancies the drink. She's not the best in large crowds but she does wonders in more intimate gatherings if you know what I mean." He jokes while he traces my jawline with a finger. I just stand there, speechless.

The Lord laughs and eyes me.

 _So I'm made out to be the King's whore then._

My cheeks burn. _Pathetic._

He knows I am already drunk and he doesn't mind that so much, it's the idea of me getting so intoxicated that I cause a scene before I am supposed to. My only job in his eyes at the moment is to keep him company.

He doesn't have to make me a spectacle while I do it though.

We traverse around the ballroom, greeting more dignitaries and courtiers as we go.

When we are near the grand entrance where we started, I catch a glimpse of dark skin and Gallen uniform standing against one of the sand colored pillars.

Ren!

He looks at me as if trying to place me.

I nod to him and give a grim smile. The confusion within him is fighting with his effort to be stoic as he tries to place me. He has only ever seen me in plain frocks with my hair tied back, not dressed up like some pompous doll.

I want to talk to him, to tell him what is going on, but Daroth keeps a firm grip on me and pulls me to the next round of dignitaries.

This time, though, as Daroth charms the people around him, I search the room, taking in all the guards to see if Rhys also may be among them.

I am disappointed to see that he is not.

Where could he be?

Surely Rhys would have been suspicious that I never made it to our rendezvous. Did he think I changed my mind? Or did he see me with Daroth and is he trying to find some other way to get us both out?

For now I can only wait.

When the orchestra starts up an Irisidean waltz, Daroth pauses for a brief second.

"Come Namina. I'd like to dance with you." Daroth says as he drags me into the middle of the ballroom.

I stumble, missing a step and nearly falling were it not for Daroth's arms holding me up. He tsks at me. "You silly creature. I can literally smell the alcohol pouring off of you."

I meet his eyes the best I can and feel my confidence build as my words do not slur as bad as I thought they might. "Better to be intoxicated than sober when I am with you."

He shakes his head.

"This is a habit I will not tolerate once we are back in Irisidea. Enjoy your little drunkenness now. You'll be sober soon."

We go through each move in silence, only staring at one another as we step lightly tothe bubbly music. I miss a few of the steps and Daroth gives me a pointed but almost playful stare. He's enjoying this way too much.

As I stare at the man I once loved I can't help but to feel a pang of anguish wash through me. My emotions have been let loose thanks to the wine and I feel it prick the back of my eyes. Ever since the night I ran, I have put a stopper on what I truly feel: Sorrow.

Sorrow for Daroth and what we could have been had he not been so heartless. Sorrow that I ran instead of facing him, putting half of Gallen in danger. But I was not strong then. I could not have beaten him.

Thoughts of Rhys enter my mind, followed by my healer friends, Ren, and even Arch-Mage Anders. These are the people I would have never met had things been different. These are the people who have changed my life for the better.

So yes. I feel sorrow of what will never be, but I also feel relief at what as come to be.

I will not lose that so easily. I will not make my time in Gallen be for naught.

There is a chance now and I will take it.

I will face my demons once and for all.

Soon. Very soon.

.

After some time with Daroth, Prince Siranthen approaches us and bows.

"King Daroth, Princess Namina"

We bow in return.

"I have somewhat of an apology to make to the both of you. Actually, mainly to the Princess. It seems she has been serving me for sometime as a healer. I have to say I feel quite embarrassed."

Daroth laughs. "Its not like you knew, Prince Siranthen. Our Princess here had always wanted to heal. Its just good to hear her time away from me was well spent doing what she loved."

Siranthen smiles at me, but his hands are fidgeting.

"I'm sure you're happy to be with your love once more."

"I'm no-"

My words are cut of at the flick of Daroth's hand. He knows what I was planning to say.

 _I'm not. I hate him. You're in danger._

I try again. It comes out as a small choke.

Daroth grips my arm tighter and I flinch visibly.

Siranthen frowns.

I give in to the pain. "What I mean to say is…thank you, Prince Siranthen. I accept your apology."

He smiles "Good. That makes me feel so much better."

Another song starts up, this one a song popular in both Gallen and Irisidea.

Perfect timing. It is five till ten.

Daroth clears his throat.

"Namina, dear, wouldn't you like to dance with Prince Siranthen? She was telling me earlier just how well acquainted you both have become."

Siranthen smiles and his gaze lands on me. "I would be honored to lead her through the dance."

I curtsy to Daroth, "Thank you, my King. I shall miss my time away from you but I am honored you have given me this privilege."

He steps forward and kisses me softly on the lips; his hand grazes the side of my bodice hiding the dagger.

"Do enjoy yourself, my _Queen_." His voice drops so only I can hear. "And don't try that again."

He steps back and Siranthen takes my hand.

I smile as the Gallen Prince leads me through the dance, trying to maintain an air of soft coyness. It is hard when my world starts to spin harder and harder with each move of the dance. The first three minutes of the dance pass in silence.

"It is a beautiful ball is it now? A wonderful way to bring in the New Year" he says, trying to make small talk.

I nod. "I've not seen such finery in a long while."

"And you've never experienced a Gallen New Year. Just wait until Midnight! That is where the fun truly begins!"

"I am looking forward to it, my Prince."

I catch a glimpse of the clock behind Siranthen's head before he spins me to face the opposite way once more. Nearly a minute left.

Daroth watches us with keen interest, a small smile gracing his full lips.

To everyone else, he seems a doting King.

I see the smile as smug satisfaction in both destroying Gallen and I in once quick swoop.  
A wave of nausea washes through me, reminding me of how much I have had to drink.

It is definitely time to fix that.

Before Daroth can really catch on to what I am doing, I use my magic to purge myself of the alcohol. Clarity comes quick and I find everything around me snaps into place. The spinning stops but I stumble again anyhow.

"Are you alright, Mina? Or should I call you Pri…"

"Mina. Please my Lord." Siranthen should not have to treat me as his equal. He is so much better than I.

"I had too much to drink, but I am better now."

"Well I'm glad to hear it. What do-"

The clock starts the countdown, interrupting our conversation. I nearly jump out of my skin at the first chime.

 ** _One._** This is it.

 ** _Two._** This is the moment when I must be strong.

 ** _Three._** I will not do it.

 ** _Four._** I will not stab him.

 ** _Five._** The symptoms of my disobedience start to set in.

 ** _Six_.** Everything within me says to obey, but my mind is still free.

I will not. I cannot.

 ** _Seven._** My stomach turns and my fingers begin tremble.

 ** _Eight._** They graze the dagger now of their own accord. I can feel the hard edge beneath my dress.

 ** _Nine._** If I don't strike soon I may actually fly apart.

The clock strikes the hour with what feels like a deafening boom to my ears and my world slows into just this moment.

 ** _Ten_** _._

My clammy palm grips the hilt as I pull it from my bodice. I am visibly shaking now.

Siranthen notices something his wrong and he leans in to help me steady myself.

No! _No! NO!_

I can hardly breathe as I try to keep my hand from flying up and letting the dagger find its mark. My will is giving in. No matter how I try, there is little left in me and I know I am losing this fight.

Siranthen now see's what is in my grip; his facial muscles turn down in confusion.

The brink of unconsciousness starts to pour over me and I find I have no choice.

I have to do it.

I'll let the dagger find its mark. But it will be MY mark.

With a scream I lean forward into Siranthen's arms.

I watch in horrifying slowness as the blade penetrates first cloth and then skin. There is a sound that is a sound I never want to hear again, as the mark is made.

For a moment it feels as if we are the only two people in the room. Siranthen's eyes fly open in horror and shock. He glances down to see the blood start to well on his once clean and crisp blue doublet before his eyes meet mine again.

"How could you…?" The words bubble from his lips even as his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses on me.

"I am sorry," I whisper in his hair as I drop the knife and gently lower him to the ground.

The crowd has fully noticed now. A courtier near me screams and the ballroom erupts into chaos.

Shouts surround us as I am pulled from the Prince and held by two guards, neither of whom I recognize.

More guards appear, followed by the King. I find I cannot remember his name.

'What is the meaning of this?!" the bellow echoes past the noise of everyone else.

I watch as he takes in his son, already being attended to by courtiers with healing magic while they try to get someone from the Healing Quarters up here. The blood has stopped spilling from the wound, but Siranthen's front is covered in it.

Then his eyes land sharply on me.

He notices the small decorative blade on the ground before his gaze traces down my arm to my bloodstained fingertips.

The King steps back, trembling in anger. Daroth had said he knows who I am. I can see the betrayal and hatred in his eyes now even as it coats his order. "Take this woman to the cells! I want her interrogated and tried!"

Daroth meets my eyes and smiles coolly.

I watch with small delight when his smile drops suddenly into a frown as Siranthen comes to and it is now easily seen that the wound is not in his chest but in his shoulder.

When he looks at me once more, I glare at him.

I am no longer his pawn to command.

* * *

 _ **Sildamillion:** You brought up a good point! In her review she mentioned that Mina hasn't really had a chance to feel her heartbreak from Daroth as she basically still had to keep dealing with him. Their relationship became more of a prey/hunter situation with Namina always on the defense. There are times interspersed throughout the story where she kind of ponders on her heartbreak but we haven't seen her fully be able to feel it. Part of her still almost loves him, even though she knows the man she fell in love with is long gone. It's funny that you mention this now because she thinks a bit on that situation!_

 _ **Helloberrie:** thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying the story!_


	34. Chapter 34

**Another 'present day' chapter before we get to the BIG flashback.**

 **Also, in case anyone is interested, I just wrote a one-shot story (modern continuation) based on the myth of Apollo and Cassandra called "Gods and Monsters. Its in the Greek Mythology section. I might make it longer after I finish this bad boy. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think! :)**

 **And now on with the show...**

* * *

The guards drag me from the ballroom.  
Instead of taking down to the cells however, I am brought the guest wing in the castle and thrown in one of the fancier rooms.

It has to be Daroth's.

I know not if the guards were bribed or if they are members of Daroth's black guard but the outcome is the same.

I am back at the mercy of my tormentor.

While my whole being shakes and I feel as if I'm about to fly apart, deep down I am somewhat satisfied. I may have injured Siranthen but I did not kill him. I was able to stop myself from reaching his heart.

I _am_ growing stronger.

Just not fast enough.

Daroth enters a few minutes later, seething. I stand on the opposite side of the guest room against a stained glass window.

"You had to go and be a hero again didn't you?" He snarls. I swallow and take a step back.

"I stabbed him, did I not?"

"You missed." He glares at me, knowing that me hitting him in the arm was intentional.

My voice lowers of its own accord. "I will not kill for you again. I told you."

Daroth rolls his eyes and takes a menacing step forward.

"You shouldn't have been able to do that. For a worthless wretch such as yourself to disobey such a straight order from me is impossible."

I narrow my eyes. As frightened as Daroth makes me, he has never been able to scare the attitude from me. "You must not remember the implications of our blood oath then. Yes, Daroth, I know now what we did was not the Mage's Vow. Since I am tied to you, your powers are slowly becoming mine as well. I may never be as powerful as you, but I am more than I once was."

We stare at one another, both determined in our own ways. A mirror image of hate and betrayal.

Daroth breaks the silence after some time. "Well, it seems then I have only one option. It's been a while since I drained you."

My mouth falls open. The dread I have felt at imagining this moment is nothing compared to the realness now. He takes another step forward. "I get the feeling I might become the strongest I have ever been seeing how resilient you are now. Come here."

The order rings deep within me and I feel the desire to do what he asks, but I am able to shrug it off. His hold on me in this particular way is over.

I hold my ground.

I prepare to flee by moving my weight from my heels to the balls of my feet. The dress will weigh me down, but with any luck, I can still make it to the door. Maybe I can plea my case and explain to Siranthen and the King that I was forced to hurt him.

Even if I am arrested, it will still be better than being here at his mercy.

I can petition the King to a private audience and explain everything. I just have to get out of this room.

"Come here, Namina" he says again with a deadly calm.

We stare at each other for a moment longer, locked in a battle of wills.

Then I charge.

"Never!" I push my bodyweight into Daroth and we fall to the carpets.

While Daroth is in shock at my brashness, I stumble to my feet and run for the door. He yells, but I do not listen.

Freedom is _so_ close.

Just as my fingers brush the knob I am wrenched back.

Daroth catches me around the waist and throws me in the opposite direction. I crash into the window and it shatters where I have hit it. My head spins at the impact and my shoulder is on fire.

I let out a moan.

"Do not make this harder for yourself!" Daroth screams. I feel myself being pulled up.

No.

I won't go without a fight.

I struggle against him as he brings me to the bed. The movement sends tearing pain up and down my left arm, but I am relentless.

I yell, I curse, I kick. I do all I can, but it is for naught.

Daroth tosses me haphazardly on the bed and grabs my wrists with one hand.

Leaning over me he presses his other hand into my stomach, his fingers splayed against my ribcage. Perfect for access to my core. To my soul. I feel my energy start to drain as his lips find mine. I continue to kick and pull away but he is strong and I suspect he is using summoner magic once again to help hold me down.

"It feels so good to have you back" he whispers hotly, his lust for power insatiable and lacing his voice. I can feel my world being drained around me. The sensation is something I have forgotten in these months. It terrifies me like nothing else.

His body is flush with mine now. I can feel his desire to have me in my soul. To have my magic for himself.

"Do you plan to drain me dry?" I ask weakly.

I have stopped fighting.

I don't have the strength anymore.

"Oh Namina" Daroth leans up and brushes the pad of his thumb against my cheekbone. He examines the glitter that comes off.

I'm on the brink of unconsciousness. He no longer holds my wrists. My arms lay unmoving on each side of my head, pathetically useless.

My shoulder still screams.

He brushes my hair from my face and kisses my temple softly. "I see I must keep you incapacitated for a while. You've caused a lot of trouble my dear. Its best you were not a nuisance while I fix it."

My heartbeat slows. Everything fades as I am pulled under.

His words sing me into the oblivion of a deep sleep

"Good night little bird"

.

I wake up to darkness.

At first I am afraid that I am dead; that I am in some kind of purgatory waiting to be judged by the gods.

Then I am bombarded with a horrible stench.

My nose wrinkles as I sit up.

It is near pitch-black but my eyes slowly adjust.

After a few minutes I see that I am in a cell, still in my finery from the night before. Or has it been longer than one night? It was not uncommon for Daroth's pull of magic to knock me unconscious for days in Irisidea.

A sharp pain rips through my shoulder and put a hand on it to soothe it. There is something sticky there. I brush it away at the same time as I wince. What is on my shoulder is probably not prison grime. Taking a slow breath, I bring my fingers up to my nose and smell them. They smell of iron.

 _Blood._

I must have cut my arm when Daroth tossed me into his window.

 _No wonder it had hurt so badly._

The cut is still oozing slightly, probably from the movement of my arm reopening the wound. I can't have been here more than a day then.

Sighing, I grip my elbow to keep my arm steady and lay back down in the darkness. I can only pray I don't have glass shards embedded in the wound.

As I lay there, I think on what has happened.

 _Does the King have any idea what kind of monster he is housing?_

 _Does he still blame me for Siranthen's wound?_

I suppose I will find out soon enough.

There is no noise save for the rhythmic sigh of my breathing. I must be the only one in this part of the prison.

That is alright. The loneliness suits me.

Slowly, sleep overtakes me once more.

.

My eyes shoot open at the sound of a gate creaking open.

I watch my shadow move and grow on the back wall I face as a torch is brought before my cell. There is some fumbling before the light steadies and is mounted.

Two shadows beside my own grace the wall in front of my eyes. Two men.

"Good morning Princess" One of the voices greets me cheerily. It is, of course, the voice of all my nightmares.

"I don't want to see you." I cringe at the croak in my throat. Not that I should care what Daroth thinks.

"That is a shame. You see I wanted to introduce you to my new friend. He's the one that gave me the information I needed to find you and he says he knows you. A Farrowsbush is it?"

Farrowslake.

Rhys!

I sit up and turn to face the cell door. There he stands in his uniform, serious-faced and immaculate.

Right next to Daroth.

"No" I whisper and take a step forward. Then two.

"NO!" I grasp the bars and try to pull myself through them even though I know it is futile. "No! It can't be! Rhys!"

I reach for him without thinking. Rhys takes a step back and wrinkles his nose.

"You smell."

The words are slap to the heart: cold and devoid of familiarity.

Daroth laughs, entertained by it all. "Your guard friend is a sharp-witted one isn't he?"

Tears prick my eyes and I blink to hold them back. I have little dignity left, but I still want to keep myself from crying. They _will not_ see me cry.

"I guess when you told your friend here about me, he noticed how delusional you had truly become. I hate to have to lock you up, but after your display last night…nearly killing poor Prince Siranthen! Well, we can't have you running about this place anymore, can we?" I want to punch that smug grin right off Daroth's face.

"You believe this monster?" I cry. Rhys studies me. Something flashes behind his eyes. Guilt? Pity? It is gone in an instant, replaced with stone. Cold stone.

"You're obviously sick, Princess. I did what I have to do for all our sakes. I am sorry." he says like he is giving a report.

I look from Daroth to Rhys and back again. "How could you?"

I honestly don't know which man I am asking.

They both have failed me. Both have abandoned and used me.

Rhys looks away when I try to meet his eyes once more.

"You betrayed me. I thought your duty was to protect!"

"My duty is to Gallen, not to you Princess." The sternness in his tone shocks me to my core.

 _Rhys…_

He is all but gone.

Daroth stands there near to gloating, his arms crossed and a sly smile spread across those horrid lips. Then he waves a hand.

"You are dismissed soldier. I will tell your Captain of your good deeds and see that you are rewarded forthwith. Thank you for finding my wife."

I shudder at the word 'wife'.

Rhys smiles grimly and bows.

"As it pleases you, Your Highness."

"Rhys!" I yell at his retreating back. He doesn't as much as give me a glance over his shoulder. I reach for him although I know it is pointless. He's at least ten feet away. Twelve.

"Rhys, please!"

Fourteen.

Twenty.

The door down the hall slams shut. I slump to the ground, my skirts billowing out around me.

I'm tired of standing.

Tired of trying.

Just.

Tired.

I slam my fist to the ground.

"Now don't go throwing another tantrum, Namina. You'll only be in there another day or two. Just long enough to soften that hardened heart of yours and for my retinue to repair the damage in relations and prepare for the journey home."

I have almost forgotten Daroth is still here.

That monster. That devil incarnate.

I glance up sharply without moving any other muscle in my body.

"What of Gallen?"

Triumph flashes in his ice blue eyes. They look almost colorless in the dim light of the dungeon.

"You mean what of you? I've already pleaded your case. You went mad, I said. You've been sick for some time. King Stephan is still quite livid that you managed to hurt his poor boy but he has agreed that you should be dealt with under your own jurisdiction. I promised them recompense and to keep a tighter leash on you until you are healed."

"So what do you plan to do next?" I growl.

He has failed in his assassination attempt, but he still has me. I fear he will try again.

Daroth examines his nails. "You mean since you botched the simple task I asked of you? I haven't decided. I could leave Gallen alone for now. They still have no idea the Black Guard is mine. Or I could just poison the lot and be done with it. If only you were free to help me with the syphoning, though. Such an ancient bloodline could make me stronger than ever!"

I snarl and grip the grimy bars once more. "I'll never do that again! Command me all you want, Daroth. I. Wont. I've proven that I'm stronger now."

"Oh don't I know it" Daroth chuckles. "I still feel the high from yesterday. Such power! And your recovery time is much improved." He crouches down until he is nearly eye-level with me and grabs my hands so that I cannot remove them from the bars I hold.

I yank against him in a futile effort. His grip is like iron.

"Speaking of which, there is the matter of dealing with _you_. I should have waited until I had a greater hold upon your soul to let you kill your family. It seems that was the moment you went from obstinate to downright unbearable." His nails dig into my skin even as his voice grows hard and calculating.

"Part of me wants to keep you locked up for good. I can use you just fine in such a cell and we have plenty like it in Irisidea. The other part still wants you as my queen by my side: obedient to my every beck and call." His hands twitch over mine and when he lifts his own hands, mine stay firmly grasped to the bars. He's used summoning magic to hold me still.

I pull against it as hard as I can, search the magic with my own, and try to break the spell.

"Well which is it?" I am so focused on my hands and on his pending answer that I don't notice his reaching into the bars.

Daroth's hand is abruptly under my chin, his thumb tracing my jawline. I suck in a breath, disgusted by the touch. Had I seen his reaching for me, I would have gladly bitten him.

"I may just have to do both." His voice drops to a whisper as he pulls me forward. "I promised you a long time ago that I would break you, little bird. I intend to keep that promise." He kisses my mouth. I do not respond.

When he withdraws and once again stands, my hands become my own. I yank them away from the bars and stumble back until I am huddling in the back of the cell.

"Do not touch me again." I can still feel the ghost of his lips on mine.

I wish I _had_ bit him.

"I don't think you have a choice, darling. I'll show my affection however I please. We are after all married."

He brushes his hands down his fine doublet, getting the grime from my own self off his hands and then picks up the torch from the wall.

His blue eyes pierce me. "Two days. If you aren't willing to cooperate by then, I will have you incapacitated the whole journey back. And I won't respect boundaries this time."

I shudder at the implications.

He'll as good as ravish me.

Without waiting to watch him leave, I turn to face the wall and curl up until I am hugging my knees to my chest.

I squeeze my eyes shut and just focus on keeping myself from falling apart yet again.

* * *

 ** _Well, that happened._**

 ** _Tek Sonay: I LOVE GOOSE GIRL! Those books are the best! That would have been an awesome idea! If the story were ending here it probably would have gone something like that. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the story is much longer. Things are about to get…interesting._**

 ** _Jeccabelle: He no longer has that control over her but he's still a threat! But yeah, I_** ** _agree! Go Namina!_**

 ** _Sildarmillion: You'r really good at figuring stuff like that out! Basically, you hit the nail on the head. In the next two flashbacks she reaches that 'breaking point' in how much she can take of him and everything that she's done/about to do. Once she sees a way out, she takes it. (there are only really three flashbacks left to the point where she ran away and then they'll be more sporadic instead of every other chapter and at different ages (i.e. you'll meet her mom, some of her Parth relatives, more info on her father, etc.))_**

 ** _Thanks to all the readers and reviewers! I really appreciate it and hope you continue to enjoy the story!_**


	35. Chapter 35

**This is kind of a short and very dark chapter, but also very important. Also, I have no idea how I see King Signor, but Namina's father (High Prince Karthon) I see as Littlefinger or Peytr Baelish from Game of Thrones. (in looks and especially in his twisted conniving personality. He's in Scorch Trials too. When I watched that movie and he came on screen –spoiler alert- I just knew he was bad news. Such a great actor.)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _Three Weeks Before_**

I managed to avoid Daroth's command for a whole month, but it wasn't easy.

No. It was far from easy.

Every time I came to dinner or was requested to meet with my father I felt the urge to end him. Every time I looked upon my uncle I felt the searing hate deep within my soul. I knew in my heart he needed to die.

And I wanted to be the one to kill them.

I also knew that these feelings were purely of dark origins and so I refused to give in to them.

I began to refer to Daroth's command as a curse due to the side effects. I was always lightheaded, always complaining to Mara about stomach pains. She thought I might have been coming down with something. I refused to tell her I already knew the cause.

Each day progressively got worse.

Even my uncle and father commented on my pallor complexion and quiet manner.

I did not know how much longer I would be able to take it, but I refused to give in just yet.

Until, that is, I had to...

Daroth pulled me aside one afternoon, gripping my upper arm to the point where it hurt. "Enough of the games, Namina. You will kill them. And you will do it tonight."

A wave of terror swept over me.

"Daroth, please. I need time!" I wanted to reason with him, but those blue eyes just stared me down. He was angry that I had held off for so long.

"Everything has been set in motion. You will visit your father tonight in his study and he will drink and boast as usual. Poison him." He forced a vial into my hands. They shook as I tried to give it back. Huffing, Daroth took it from me and placed in my bodice before cupping my chin harshly.

"After that, go to your uncle. I'll let you decide how to end him, but just make sure you syphon his soul. I _want_ that magic. Return to me before morning."

He strode off as if nothing had just happened.

My whole frame shook. I knew in my core I would not be able to push against the curse now.

I would comply.

.

I paused at the door of my father's study and took a deep breath, then I knocked and opened the door.

"Ah, Namina. Come in."

I curtsied and stepped inside the study. My chest felt heavy as lead.

"Prince Karthon"

He already sat in his chair, comfortable and oozing power. "I'm glad you wanted to meet. I have something I want to say to you."

I grabbed my skirts in my hands at my side. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Shall you pour us some wine then?" Those damning words left his lips without a care and he gestured with his hand without really looking at me. I shuddered at how easy this would be.

Crossing over to his wine cabinet, I pulled out a bottle and two goblets. Glancing once to see if he was looking, I unplugged the vial and poured the clear contents into his drink.

Part of me hoped I would get the drinks mixed up and that I would be the one to drink to the death, but I knew that wouldn't happen.

The goblets felt heavier in my hands as I walked back to my seat and handed the poisoned drink to my father.

I watched as he took a sip before setting it down at his side. He looked at me with such smugness and steepled his fingers.

He would not look like that much longer. The poison would set in quickly.

Smug satisfaction flashed in his gaze. "Now to the matter at hand. I am forbidding you to see your betrothed. Advisor Daroth has begun to be careless and King Signor and I feel the need to straighten him out."

Funny he should say that now. Had he spoken those words only two months earlier, I would have cried with gratefulness. Now I could barely keep my voice steady as I replied, "Yes Father."

My father lifted his drink for another sip when suddenly, he paled. The poison was setting in. The cup shook in his hand and the wine sloshed as he tried to fight off what was attacking him from the inside.

"A-and you will be s-sent away to the mountain estate for a t-time." He looked around wildly.

"As you wish, my Lord"

Blood began to trickle from his nose.

The goblet fell to the floor with a thud and a splash.

I fisted my hands in my lap and blinked rapidly. Bile rose in my throat as I watched.

His eyes widened.

"Naa-mi-naaa," he gasped, reaching his hand out to me. I felt the wet track of a tear as it coursed its way down my cheek before splashing in my lap.

My mind screamed to stop the madness. It screamed to heal him, but my body would not move.

His breathing became ragged and he landed on his knees, hand still extended.

 _This is taking too long,_ I heard in my mind.

The rational part of me agreed.

I could not watch him suffer a moment longer.

Taking his hand in mine, I looked into the eyes of the man who created me, of the man who sold me without care to the soul sorcerer who brought on his demise. I had never loved him, but watching him now, I felt a pang of deep sorrow at the loss of this man who was called 'father.'

"I'm sorry, father." I whispered. Then I pushed the poison through his veins, stopping his heart for good.

.

The tear I had shed for my father would not resonate my feelings with my uncle. Or I told myself.

Even as I repeated to words in my mind I knew they were not true.

I had passed the point of no return. The curse would not let me stop with just one death.

As I walked down the corridors leading to the King's chambers, I let the darkness Daroth had planted in my soul grow. I let it control my very actions. The less I fought it, the better I felt. I had quieted my mind. No more fighting it.

In this next segment of my mission I would not feel a thing. I would simply go through the motions.

 _This hell is almost over. Then I will end myself._

Soon, I was at the door of the King's chambers. No guards patrolled the halls. I knew I had Daroth to thank for that.

I took a deep breathing then entered without knocking.

The King was not alone. He was with a young man laughing and drinking while lounging on a small couch. They were, thankfully, fully dressed.

"I need to speak to King Signor alone. Please leave." I said to the courtesan in as curt a tone as I could manage. The blonde man bowed, gathering his things and scurrying from the room. He was obviously new. He did not yet know that most of the palace held my commands with little weight.

I was glad of it. Better not to have to deal with such loose ends.

"What is the meaning of this? Where is your father?" King Signor demanded, visibly upset at my presence.

I stepped forward, slyly grabbing the letter opener with a hand and tucking it into the folds of my skirt. With the darkness fully guiding me, I did not shake.

"He is in his chambers, resting."

King Signor stood and pointed towards the door.

"I want you out of here, you insolent bitch! Guards!" he roared

"Your guards are not there. Advisor Daroth has ordered them away this night." I simply stated. There was no emotion in voice at all, just coldness.

It echoed what I felt inside.

My inner thoughts were silent.

He was red-faced now "Ordered them…? What in the name of all the gods are you both thinking? Is this some kind of ruse to get me to comply with his demands, because I won't barter with traitors."

If I stood here arguing with him, I would be here all night. Better to just end it now.

"I don't want to do this, but I must. I truly am sorry, Uncle." I said as I held out my hand and twisted, taking away any and all emotions.

He paused then sat down, his face now blank.

I knelt in front of him and pulled the letter opener from my skirts.  
My eyes studied the letter opener before rising to King Signor's face. He just looked at me calmly, locked inside himself now. I knew if I could read his thoughts, they would be a whirlwind of anger, confusion, and fear.

"You never loved me and I hate you, but I want you to know I do not want to do this. You created a monster when you brought Daroth into this palace and let him use me. Remember that in the afterlife. You brought this on your self." The words brought little comfort, but they were true. He needed to know the truth.

Closing my eyes, I drove the letter opener into his heart and cringed at the feeling and sound of the blade entering flesh.

I did not let myself think. With my minds eye I could see his life draining. I could see his essence fading away and I knew I did not have much time. The curse pushed me forward into action.

Reaching into my bodice, I pulled out the empty vial that had once held the poison that killed my poison.

I held the small vial against Signor's tunic, letting the blood drain into it and coaxed his soul with it. The blood turned a dull brown-purple as it flowed into the vial.

When it was half full, I let my uncle fall back, his eyes glazed over and his life completely gone from his body.

The blood returned to its natural color as it soaked into the couch, the stain spreading quickly.

With a snap, the curse finally released me and I stumbled back, unable to rely on the darkness to dim my troubled thoughts. I covered my mouth with a trembling hand.

I had done the unthinkable.

I had killed the King and his Brother.  
My stomach lurched and I turned and crawled on hands and knees to the fireplace before retching everything in me.

.

 ** _Later_**

Daroth looked at me with an intensity I had never seen as I entered his chambers. My hand shook as I held out the bottle, the essence of my Uncle a murky purple.

"So its finished." His voice was laced with ecstasy. He took the bottle from my hands and drank deeply. In a reverent whisper he said "And now I am king."

 _Disgusting._

I moved to leave, to mourn what I had done in private but he grabbed my arm.

"Are you not going to join me in celebrating?" he asked, mockingly. I made to pull myself out of his grasp but he wouldn't have it. He held me closer.

"If we are to celebrate, at least let me drink."

He handed me a fine goblet. I drank as fully as possible for a few seconds before it was taken away from me.

Always the same.

"You'd drink yourself dead if I let you." He admonished teasingly as he set it down out of my reach.

It was true. I would have. I had never wanted to die so much as I did now.

"I not in the mood, Daroth. You just forced me to kill what's left of my family" I was _so_ tired. The desire and drive to kill had left me and in its place was a hollow nothingness.

His lips grazed my neck. Then my clavicle.

"Yes, but I granted you your freedom from them."

I backed up, planting my hands against his chest "Only to fall into slavery to you. You have no right to say you freed me. You've used me more than they ever did"

His eyes bore into mine.

"You are right, I suppose. But be obedient, like you once were, and I will give you everything you've ever dreamed of. They could never have promised you that." He pulled me down to the settee and cupped my chin so I had to look into those blue eyes. I met them, searching. Where was the kindness I had once seen? Where was the desire for good and not this evil? _Gone._

Now his gaze was hungry and hard. His desire for power had overcome any gentleness he might have felt for me.

"And if I choose not to…"

He rolled his eyes and scoffed "You don't have a choice."

I felt him wipe my cheek. I was crying.

By the heavens above, I was actually crying! And in front of him no less!

Daroth spoke calmly as he said, "Tears are not the answer, Namina. It will not soften my heart or change your position."

My position. As Queen.

By his side.

If the rightful heir were on the Throne, no one would question the King's top Advisor as King. I would provide both the perfect cover and the soul connection he needed to secure his place in the world. It was over.

He was a power-hungry bastard.  
And I would be his queen.

There was nothing that I could do.

As the drink set into my system and he lowered me down on the settee, I merely nodded.

* * *

 ** _Oh, Daroth…_**

 ** _On a lighter note, Rhys will return next chapter… that should be fun. Maybe he'll finally explain himself._**

 _ **Sildarmillion:** I guess we'll have to wait and find out what Rhys's betrayal means :) Yeah, Daroth has one of those 'evil guy master plans' that includes finally being able to control Namina (a source of greater power for him) and basically multi-kingdom domination. (very original I know...) He likes a challenge and she definitely presents one, but one would think he'd get fed up with the chase. Who knows what he would do then? Kill her? Let her go? Or would he even give up?_

 _Namina did run away before the wedding. Daroth mentions near the end of chapter 31 that he was able to get Mina diagnosed as mentally ill before he left for Gallen and had the marriage contract signed by the officiator without her. Kind of demented..._

 ** _Tek Sonay:_** _I know. What is Rhys up to? Has he switched to the dark side? We will have to wait and see wont we? :)  
_ _Namina's had to be strong but there's been a few times were she feels all is lost. (This flashback being one of the biggest of all.) Her hatred for Daroth will definitely have future consequences. I don't know if you've noticed but when she focuses on that hatred she really opens herself up to the darkness little by little. It will start to affect her more._

 _Thanks to everyone who reads and/or reviews!_


	36. Chapter 36

**And we are back! AGAIN THANK YOU for all the reviews and to those who read this story!**

* * *

I fade in and out of restless nightmares as I lay there in the dark, imagining countless scenarios of what seems my imminent future.

I know not how much time passes.

Before I know it, someone has returned to my cell.  
"Mina" Rhys's voice is soft but it wakes me from my slumber.

I jump at the sound.

For a second I am glad to hear his voice. Then I remember what he has done.

I do not know when he returned to my cell or how long he has been standing there. I do not care.

I lay there, ignoring him.

"We don't have much time. Get over here." He says sharply, his voice still lowered.

His tone seems to imply that I am being a child. That being in this cell is completely of my own volition.

This angers me.

I sit up and turn to face the man who has betrayed me.

"What do you want, Farrowslake? For me to beg you again? Because if that is your wish you can just rot in hell for all I care."

He huffs. "What I want is for you to come here without fighting or trying to kill me."

 _Of course it is._

"You know I wouldn't harm you. Or anyone for that matter."

"Siranthen would beg to differ. You know, he is going to lose the use of his sword arm for a time," Something in the air intensifies at his statement, "because you tried to stab him in the heart and missed. Good thing too."

The accusation, although true, startles me.

"What? No! I promise you it wasn't me!" I jump to my feet and race to the bars. "I was spelled!"

"I know."

I groan and throw my hands up in the air. _For all the gods sake!_

 _"Then why are you accusing me?!"_

"Because it got you over here." His eyes roam over my face and body. Rhys's brow furrows, "You're bleeding."

"You didn't notice that earlier? Yes. I am. Or I was. Daroth threw me into a window."

"That's a low move."

"He's a monster. He makes nightmares look like daydreams. He is manipulative and powerful."

Rhys looks amused. "So I've heard you say before"

I hold up a hand, looking up at the dank ceiling of the prison.

 _Oh, for the love of…may the gods give me strength!_

I stare and grit my teeth.

"Lets just cut to the chase. Why are you here, Farrowslake? To gloat?"

He smiles coyly and holds up a set of keys on one finger.

"Actually I'm here to break you out"

I am dumbfounded.

My mouth hangs open.

"What?"

"I said I am here to break you out" the words come out as if Rhys is trying to explain something complicated to a child. It is almost belittling.

No, _it is_ belittling.

"Yes I heard you. What about serving your country and all" I wave a hand in the air to emphasize his traitorous words.

I hear him huff before he says the words that make me want to both slap him and kiss him: "I told Daroth where you were because I knew once we left the castle grounds we would be followed or captured and everything would be for naught. I knew if he found you he would have you locked up. What I didn't expect was that he would have you stab Prince Siranthen before tossing you down here. Nevertheless, Daroth now thinks he has won because you truly thought you had no chance of getting away from him again. His guard is down. I'd put good money on the fact that he won't come for you again until at least tomorrow night. That gives us time to escape the Capitol and head as far south as we can get before he realizes you are even missing."

"You bastard" I find that despite my irritation I am smiling, teeth and all, as I let out the insult. "You handsome devilish bastard!"

Rhys preens for a moment, basking in the twisted complement, but then regains a serious air. He clears his throat.

"I need to make apologies. I took a chance and for that I am sorry. Had things not worked out as they have I would have done everything in my power to get you away from him. I would have petitioned the king and tried to face Daroth myself. I understand if you don't trust me for a while. I wanted to let you know. I just couldn't tell you for fear of Daroth catching on."

I feel a swelling of gratitude for his words and giddiness at the chance of still making it out of Gallen without a ten-guard escort, even as I am physically and emotionally exhausted.

I know I should not forgive him instantly but I cannot help it. The betrayal was fierce but knowing that it was only a ruse and that, in his mind, it was for my best interest makes me appreciative.

"If you break me out and we get away, I will trust you with my life, Farrowslake." I say as he opens the door to the cell.

As I emerge, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

I flinch.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I still have glass shards in my arm."

He inspects the wound gently. "Just make it to the Mage's Guild and we will get it patched up. And here. Lets put this on over your dress." He hands me my owl-feather cloak. I hadn't realized he had been holding it. He must have stopped by the Healing Quarters before coming here.

I feel elated knowing this piece of magic is back in my arms. I dig my face into the feathers, inhaling their fresh scent before letting Rhys help me adjust the cloak over my shoulders.

"These dungeons are linked to a system of catacombs that run partially under the city. We will stay down here until we clear the castle gates."

 _That sounds like a good idea to me._

We walk silently through the dank hallway and up towards the main complex. After a few hundred feet, Rhys turns and glances back at me. He gestures at my cloak.

"Well that's a handy trick. I can't hear you at all."

I smile. "Magic. It's not all bad."

I cannot read his expression as he says, "Still doesn't mean I like it."

As we walk, a part of me wonders if Tasha, Reyna, and the rest were able to get out like I said. I send a silent prayer for them all.

And for Ren.

Rhys says he is coming with me. I know what it is like to leave your best friend behind. I know what it is like to later find out they're dead as well.

 _But it won't come to that…_

We keep walking steadily, Rhys holding the torch aloft to guide our footsteps. As I follow I can't help but to look at him.

In the nearly five months I have known him, I have come to see Rhys as a steadfast man. He holds himself tall, even now, and always looks immaculate, even when covered in dirt and dust. I think it comes more from his perseverance and attitude than his upkeep. If I could someday have half of that, I would be grateful.

My eyes focus on his upper back, the part of him directly eyelevel for me at the moment. Without really meaning to, I let my vision switch from mortal to magical.

Now I see more than man, I see soul.

Rhys soul burns a warm orange that dances in his chest. I think he is happy to leave this place.

I reach slightly deeper, searching out the impurities.

I find Rhys is normal: a balance of good and bad, but mostly good. There is a bit of cloudiness to him, most likely caused by his past, but I see nothing that reminds me of Daroth.

Or myself.

He stops and turns towards me. I nearly run right into him.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing."

"I could feel you, you know. It feels like Anders's spirit magic." His expression is playful but still accusatory.

"Seriously, just nothing." I look away, embarrassed. He huffs.

We continue walking and I focus on the ground ahead after that, my cheeks burning hot.

.

After we pass through a long stretch of cave like tunnel we emerge into anciently carved catacombs. Rhys pauses on the threshold where the two connect and stares at me.

"This is not the time or place but there will never be and I have to ask. When you saw me beside Daroth, I saw the look in your eyes. Was it hate, Mina? I know the moment has long passed but I can't get it out of my mind."

I think back to that awful moment and meet his eyes. "Yes. I did hate you. You didn't even seem sorry for turning me in to Daroth. You just looked at me with empty eyes."

"As a guard I have had quite the practice controlling my emotions, Mina. I tried to give you a warning the night before. Remember how I told you I would always be on your side? Did you really have that little faith in me?"

I sigh. "You have to understand, I felt like you were just another one of the many people in my life who have used and deceived me. I had thought you were different from the rest, but then I saw you there with him and I jumped to the first conclusion I knew how to make."

"I should have told you. Again, I am filled with regret."

My hand finds his heart and I pat him on the chest. A very motherly gesture. "Like you said, Rhys: the moment is passed. Let us focus on the future."

He takes my hand in his and squeezes. "Yes, but you need to know that I would _never_ truly betray you. Mina, you mean so much to me. I will not jeopardize that." I meet his eyes once more and smile, returning the squeeze.

Warmth floods my soul.

"I feel the same. You may be annoying at times, but I care for you too, Farrowslake."

Rhys laughs and pats me on the back before pulling ahead once again.

He calls out over his shoulder, "And you may be blatantly lost in matters of normality, Princess."

I shake my head.

The oaf.

Daroth may still rampant and in charge, but I have a friend I know I can trust. It is a silver lining to this evil situation.

The thought of Daroth makes me suddenly tremble with anger.

Like a warning, I feel a sticky blackness overcome my senses. The darkness is taking hold.

I need to calm myself.

But I can't.

I manage a few more steps before I stop in my tracks.

I keep silent, letting Rhys continue without me. I try to reassure myself: _This will pass. It's just been a long day._

But, then the whispers start up.

I try to push them away as I did Daroth's command but I find they are too strong.

 _You could take all his power right now._

 _With all that elementalism, you might actually be able to defeat Daroth._

 _Kill him. Kill him._

Rhys stops, turning to find me several paces behind, gripping my head in my hands. I stumble to my knees.

 _Kill him. Become the most powerful of all._

"Mina?" I put my good arm out to stop him.

"Stay back, Rhys. It'll pass." He keeps his distance.

In an instant, the darkness abates and I am left exhausted. I lean against the wall for support and glance over to Rhys.

"I'm fine. Just an attack." I rub my face in my hands, clearing the memories.

He lessens the space between us, his brows narrowed. "You wanted to kill me didn't you?"

My head shoots up.

"How did you-?"

"I could hear them. I could hear the voices."

I shake my head. "That shouldn't be possible."

"I know." His eyes search mine and for a moment we just stare at one another, helpless at the thought of it all. _Does that mean Rhys will start to be affected by the darkness as well? But how?_

"Come on. We will figure this out when we get to the Mage's Guild." He helps me back up to my shaky legs. I have been left even more weakened by the darkness. And now my insides churn at the thought of Rhys knowing what I had thought. What it had thought.

.

Soon we are out of the catacombs.

Rhys has to steady me a few times as we make our way through town towards the Mage's Guild. My stomach is in knots and my head is reeling but I feel alive and suck in the cold night air with gladness.

"You missed the festivities last night." Rhys says lightly. The streets are empty. Not a sign of New Year to be seen.

"I was a bit preoccupied, if you don't remember."

"I'll make it up to you. Next year we will come join in on the fun. And without your ex-lover this time."

I let out a humorless laugh. "Deal"

At the steps of the Mage's Guild, I pause. Rhys raises an eyebrow. I hold up a finger and then gesture him to go ahead forward.

"I think I need to retch."

He nods and steps up to the door.

My insides are about to flip up side down. I feel the acid burn my throat as my stomach constricts.

I throw up in the bushes as Rhys knocks. When I look up he is glancing over his shoulder making sure we have not been followed. The streets are still empty.

He knocks again as I wipe my mouth and join him on the doorstep.

The door opens a crack and one of the other teachers looks at us suspiciously. Honestly, I can't blame him. It's late and who would want to let in a palace guard and a crazy looking woman in a torn and dirtied ball gown? Not to mention now the smell of vomit.

"May I help you?" he asks somewhat bored.

Rhys gets to the point. "We need to speak to the Arch-Mage now."

"The Arch-mage has retired for the night. I suggest you-"

"Let them in, Frederik." I sigh as the door is opened wider to reveal the Arch-mage to us. He looks peeved.

"Farrowslake! You were supposed to be here nearly two days ago!" Anders takes us in and notices my appearance in particularly. "What in the name of the gods is-"

"Anders, please. We need help. Let us in and I will explain everything. We cannot stand out here much longer. And Mina needs help healing her arm. She's quite weak right now."

He nods and beckons us forward "Well come in out of the cold. Quick before someone decides to investigate all this noise."

.

I know I look a sight: still in my stained and torn ball gown with my limp hair still half up. And then there's the blood, prison grime, and pieces of hay decorating myself.

We sit around a small table in Anders's office, a small cup of tea each in front of Rhys and I.

Rhys rubs my good arm. "Go on, Mina."

I take a deep breath.

Might as well jump right into it.

"It was the King of Irisidea. He caught me before I could run" It is better if he doesn't know Rhys was the one who turned me in.

"Princess?! Dear child! How can this be?"

We both sit there, silent, the question hanging above us unanswered.

I take a sip of my drink so as to make Rhys give an answer.

He doesn't.

"Well, never mind that. I've done your researching and I think I have an answer. Not _the_ answer you are looking for but one that will get you going in the right direction."

"Tell us" Rhys demands.

"Please." I add.

"There's an old guild in Parth that resides in the ruling city of Zartha. An old order of soul mages reside there who call themselves the Ruids. They've actually taken vows of silence and solitude to prevent corruption among them and have even found ways to syphon magic from those who deal with dark arts. Its quite fascinating really."

"We don't have time for drawn out stories, Arch-mage" Rhys gripes. I bite my lip. Of all the times for a domestic argument between these two, now is not it.

Anders shoots Rhys a disparaging look. "Forgive me, Farrowslake but this story has a point. I believe the Ruids may be able to syphon your magic, Princess. The syphoning is for soul mages so I don't know if it would work for you as you are only bound to a soul mage but it is worth a shot. And even if they can't, I am sure they will know of even older orders that may. Are you willing to go to them?"

The idea of parting with any of my magic is frightening let alone all of it, but to not have to worry about Daroth would be worth the loss. I do not hesitate in my answer.

"Yes. Definitely."

"Good. I thought you might. Now, there's just one little problem…"

Oh dear.

"What is it?"

Anders hesitates and then meets my eyes once more. Again, I feel his magic searching mine. I am reminded about earlier. About what I did to Rhys.

"You will have to make a case to the ruling family in order to reach the Ruids. The monastery is located inside the Hall of the Four."

"Hall of the Four?" Rhys asks.

I answer for Anders. "The inner complex in Zartha where the ruling families live. Four families, four halls, though its quite larger than you would think. The hall that houses the ruling family at the time has the Parth banners mounted above their gates at all times."

"The ruling family at the moment is your mother's" Anders adds.

"So then it will be easy," Rhys shrugs. "We just walk in there and tell them who you are and they will let us right in."

I bite my lip. "I don't think you understand, Rhys. My mother was disowned by custom once she married my father. I have no right in Parth. I'm considered completely Irisidean to them and considering the way my uncle Signor ran things, I'm an enemy to all of our bordering countries. It would be like had I walked up to the Gallen castle complex declaring my true name all those months ago. If I wasn't shot on sight I would have been taken prisoner of war."

"Oh" he says dumbly.

"Yes, 'oh' is right." Anders says. "I'm sure if you make a strong enough case though, maybe patch up some old wounds and make some promises for new alliances, they may concede."

I sigh. "It's the only chance we have. We will have to take it."

"Good. Now that that is settled, you will first ride south to Ardenelle. There are several former students trying to build up a new school and quell a mage rebellion that is starting to brew. They can get you supplies for the journey and a small store of Parth gold. Ask for the lead-mage. He will direct you from there."

"Why can't we go straight to Parth?" It seems the most logical way in my mind.

It is Rhys's turn to answer. "The border of Irisidea and Parth is mostly flatland, but the border of Gallen and Parth is forest. A very dangerous forest called the Forest of the Night."

"That's a charming name…"

"Just wait until you hear why it's called that."

I make to ask but Anders interrupts.

"There is no time for that. You both must get changed and start out. The sooner you leave the capitol the sooner my poor nerves can relax. It seems even now, Farrowslake, you give me trouble." He says with a smile.

"It's the least I can do. Thank you, Anders." Rhys stands. "I'm going to go scour for clothes and supplies. Can you assist Mina with getting her something more suitable to wear for the journey?"

He then turns to me, his brown eyes soft "I'll meet you here in half an hour."

"See you then." I say with a nod.

Once Rhys is out of earshot I move to stand as well. The movement reminds me of just how much my shoulder is wounded.

I nearly gasp at the ache.

"Is there a healer mage that can help me with my arm? It hasn't caused a lot of pain yet but I know it's possibly infected."

"Of course, yes. But Princess if I may have a word?" Anders licks his lips uncomfortably.

"Yes?"

"I did not want to say anything with Rhys nearby, but when you get to Ardenelle he will know the lead-mage very well." Something in his countenance speaks the answer.

"It's his brother isn't it?" I know I am correct before the next words are out of Anders's mouth.

"Yes. I believe their interaction could go very well or very very sour. All I ask is that you not tell him. Let him find out on his own, I just wanted for you to be on your guard when the moment arrives."

 _Great._

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

There is an awkward exchange of knowing looks before Anders calls in another mage.

"Now lets get that arm patched up."

.

When Rhys returns the office, I do a double take. His hair has been cut short.

"When did you decide to…?" I start to ask, pointing to his hair.

"It had to be done. Not only is the color out of the ordinary but its longer than most. I have to say its kind of nice having it all gone. I forgot how much I liked it short." He rubs a hand through the inch long locks and looks me over.  
"How are the clothes?"

I have changed into a loose white shirt, tan breeches, brown boots and a worn leather jerkin. The clothes belong to a young adolescent boy most likely, but with my slight curves accentuated I feel as if I am playing the part of some cross-dressing courtesan. I do not mind it however. Breeches are much more comfortable than corsets.

I almost like the sensation of fabric around my legs, actually.

And on the bright side, the breeches will not restrict my movement as much as a skirt will.

"Good, I think. I feel kind of scandalous."

I get an appreciative smile. "You look fine. We wont be spending much time in the company of anyone worthwhile until we get to Parth."

"How long do you think that will be?"

"Well it's a six day ride to Ardenelle and then nearly a three week journey to Zartha if we don't have any trouble. If we move fast, we could be there within the month."

"Do you think we will encounter trouble?"

"There's always the chance. And you seem to attract it wherever you go."

"Very funny."

"Very true." he amends with a smirk.

I hate to bring up heavy matters when we are sharing a light moment, but it needs to be dealt with. I clear my throat.

"Now that we are both dressed and ready, we need to talk about what happened back there." I don't even have to explain what I mean. It is still on the forefront of his mind as well it seems. _The darkness._

Rhys nods, a seriousness coloring his features. "I think we do too."

* * *

 _ **I just love writing Rhys/Mina dialogue. They're so playful with one another, even when being serious. And they don't beat around the bush. (I'll just say this right now because it should be pretty obvious. Yes, eventually they will be a couple. But their relationship is completely different from Namina's/Daroth's. It's slow and built on friendship. Mina wouldn't want/be able to handle another passionate fiery romance.)  
**_ ** _You know the drill. Next chapter is a flashback. Then we will get to see their conversation. Anders will also have some wisdom to add as to why Rhys can now hear her voices. Should be interesting!_**

 ** _And yeah, there is a bit of language in my story and it does make it less refined but sometimes language can definitely pack a punch and I try to use it sparingly. Don't worry, though. I'll never use the F word in my works. :)_**

 _ **Clay:** Haha! Glad you've enjoyed it! I plan on updating once a week for now, just so you have an idea. Also that song is awesome. Its a good song for Mina but I chose "Monsters" because of her self-hate and guilt over all that has transpired (even though its not her fault...)_

 ** _Sildarmillion:_** _Yes. There are about two flashbacks left. Scorch Trials is pretty good. And I don't know why I didn't just put down Aiden's name. Every time I see him I just think Game of Thrones though haha. I both love and hate his character on the show (and in the books)_


	37. Chapter 37

**Happy Thursday!**

* * *

 ** _Two Weeks Before_**

"Namina" the name burned my ears. The fingers at my neck gently trailed back, pulling my hair with it.

"My little bird." Daroth crooned lovingly.

A week had passed since the death of High Prince Karthon and King Signor. Ever since that night I had stopped caring. Let him think he had won.

He practically had.

Since then I had stopped rebelling against him.

He had come to my rooms every day to taunt me and call me his. While I loathed his touch, he still kept certain boundaries up. He would not force me into making love until after our wedding.

A small gesture of kindness, I suppose.

The sick bastard.

"You've always been so beautiful," Daroth whispered against my neck as he placed kisses from my jaw to my collarbone. He had brushed my hair completely over my right shoulder, revealing my neck and upper back to him. He stood behind me, one arm around my waist holding me to him.

I watched him in the reflection of the full-length mirror as I stood before it, my features cooled into a mask of indifference. The only sign of emotion in me were my hands, white-knuckled and gripping my skirts. He bathed me in praises he knew I did not care for.

I knew better than to listen to him.

Daroth was not here to make me feel loved or beautiful or special.

He had come to remind me that he owned me.

In the week that had passed, I had tried to take my life but was caught by Daroth himself. He gave orders that anything sharp or dangerous be kept out of my reach before using his summoning magic to command me not to try anything again. It was the final move that had ended our game. I didn't even have a way out now. Not even death could protect me from him.

"I need to finish preparing for tonight" I said hollowly and turned my face a fraction-of-an-inch toward his.

"Ah, yes. Where are my manners?" he reached for one of my hands and I quickly let go of my skirt, the silk material of the white mourning dress surely wrinkled beyond repair from my hold.

While I was in mourning, Daroth was not.

And why should he have been? He was _celebrating_ in Irisidean black and gold. Nothing stood in his way now.

He would be crowned king in a fortnight and I would become his queen.

The other nobles believed he wore the crown colors out of respect for the Dorn family legacy. I saw it as the equivalent of spitting on their very graves.

Sadly, I did not mind that as much as I should have.

I was led to my dressing table where Daroth pulled out my chair for me and helped me to sit.

"I look forward to seeing you at Dinner. You have an hour to finish preparing. An escort of guards will come for you at a quarter-past." The kiss on my hand was soft and polite before he let go. I dared not move. I only listened as his footsteps slowly retreated from me.

My gaze met my own reflection in the smaller mirror and I found I couldn't look away. Those grey eyes were so empty. _My_ grey eyes. It was as if all the life was gone from them and all I had become was a living corpse. I was a shell filled with the inky blackness of my transgressions and nothing more.

Even as I thought it, I felt the truth in it.

I felt dead inside. Completely numb aside from the harrowing guilt and anger flooding my soul.

Even Daroth's advances didn't stir the unwanted bond between us. Usually I would feel some sort of ghosted desire for him. A strange longing for him that came as a result of our vow. The vow that sealed my soul to his.

I was simply a husk of myself: empty and lifeless. Sometimes I felt almost back to my old self for a moment or two, alive and full of purpose, but that me had been ultimately unreachable for nearly a year. It slipped away like water through my fingertips whenever I tried to reclaim it.

Then there were the fits of anger and guilt that would attack me, mostly at night. It was the only time I would let myself truly feel the weight of what I had done. I would scream into my pillows at the memories of what I had done a week ago and what had transpired over the last two years that lead up to it.

I was a _murderer._

 _A cold blooded murderer._

Out of the corner of my vision I watched without truly watching as he paused at the threshold of my chambers.

"Have you started to prepare for the grand announcement?" In other words, the rhetoric we would use to lie to the whole of Irisidea regarding my father and uncle's deaths. It would be given the same time that Daroth announced our marriage would take place sooner than autumn. In fact, it would take place in two weeks.

I sighed. "It is already written and should be on your desk."

"Good. I look forward to reading it. And do remember your manners tonight, Namina. These courtiers and dignitaries believe you are in mourning. Don't act out."

I didn't respond.

The door closed with a snap and a click.

 _ **Five Days Before**_

The royal announcement of our impending nuptials had passed. All had gone as planned and some of the other palace and country officials had believed the lies we had told them. Gallen was now being investigated as a possible suspect. If found guilty, Daroth would have a reason to go to war. That was exactly what he wanted.

I kept to my rooms unless Daroth summoned me. I did not want to see anyone and I did not want anyone to see me. After several days, Mara seemed to have had enough.

"Princess, you need to get out and take in some fresh air. You haven't left your rooms in nearly three days." she said with an exasperated sigh.

"What do you suggest, Mara?" My dejected tone did not sway her. She played with a piece of her blonde hair and stared out the window.

"The menagerie. You always love the menagerie."

It actually sounded like a lovely place to be. Before Daroth had entered my life, I had practically lived within the confines of the many colored birds and exotic animals. There and in the gardens.

My memories of the gardens had been tainted by Daroth but the menagerie was still a place to call my own.

Mara was right. It was the perfect place to be, especially on such a summers day.

I forced a smile, not willing to let it go past the corners of my mouth and to my eyes. "That sounds lovely, Mara."

.

Once we reached the menagerie and made a few rounds, I went to the aviary.

I stroked one of the bars of the owl's cage as I stared into those ancient eyes. This was my favorite place in all the menagerie. I had always been drawn to the birds.

The bird tilted her head slightly. I knew she was listening.

"You know what it is like to be caged don't you? What it means to never be free? Our cages are different but I know the feeling just the same. If I could, I'd set you free, you know."

That ancient owl scooted closer ever so slightly and tilted her head.

I sighed. I hadn't talked to anyone other than Mara and Daroth in two weeks. Even though I was now talking to an owl, it felt as if I was returning to an old friend I had not spoken to in some time. It was a warm, comforting sensation.

"I've sold my soul to the devil and I have no way of getting it back. If you have ties to the old gods, or even to my mother, please send a prayer to them for me. I need their strength and their forgiveness. I cannot even end myself thanks to this cursed Mage's Vow I partook in. If only I could destroy it and escape Daroth."

She hooted in response. I huffed.

"You're right. I have to figure this out on my own. I just have no idea how. Even if I did escape, where would I go?" I backed up a step. "Maybe one day we will both be free. For now, we must simply survive."

The small one-sided conversation, as pathetic as it was, gave me a small amount of vigor. I felt calmed talking to the owl. Calmed and at peace.

As I turned back to find Mara, I noticed Daroth standing several yards away, watching me intently. The menagerie was a short-cut to many different places within the palace but I had not known that he was one to use it. Of all the places to see him, this was the last I wanted. I frowned but curtsied at him. We stared at one another until he smiled and returned the gesture with a bow before walking off, the ghost of that smile still etched on his face.

I knew that look.

He was up to something.

 ** _Four Days Before_**

Only four days until the wedding. Two days before the first ball.

"I've had several gowns made for you, Namina." he gestured at the servants in the doorway. They brought in four boxes, each numbered. Daroth smiled "Open them in order."

I opened the first three boxes: a sky blue gown that faded at the bottom to a teal, a black-blue dress covered in tiny jewels that mimicked the night sky, and a white shimmery dress overlaid with silver chains.

"The first two represent day and night, the times you are on my mind. The third is your wedding dress."

I placed all three boxes to the side and looked at him with little emotion. "They're beautiful" I deadpanned. That made him laugh.

"I thought you might love them. Go on. Open the last box. This one is my favorite." he gestured. His ice blue eyes glinted.

I picked it up, pulling the ribbon off the top.

"This is to remind you that you are my little bird. I think you'll find it familiar."

I raised an eyebrow before lifting off the lid.

 _No._

 _It couldn't be._

I felt a lump in my throat at the sight of an all white cloak. A cloak of feathers. Owl feathers.

 _The owl from the menagerie._

"I knew how much you liked that bird. I figured it would look well on you."

"You monster." I said through gritted teeth as I picked up the garment. "You murderer. Do you even know how disrespectful this is? To Parth? To the gods?"

"It was better than letting people think that you are losing your mind, darling. I saw you with that creature. Others have before as well. Our future queen should not spend her time conversing with animals like a deranged forest dweller."

"You did not have to kill it, Daroth. You should have just sent it back to Parth!" I dropped the cloak back in the box with disgust.

"That would have been too much of a hassle. And besides, I figured you wouldn't mind having a reminder of your mother in your wardrobe. It even has pockets!" The words were condescending and accompanied by a smile.

I shut my eyes. "Get out."

"Come now, Namina" He reached for me but I shrugged him off. How dare he try to touch me now.

"I said get out."

"As my lady wishes." he smirked and bowed before walking through the door, the servants following him.

* * *

 **Okay, so there is one more flashback until we are all caught up to where the storyline starts. Questions? Does this method of showing the flashbacks work? Sometimes I feel like it does and other times i feel like it just breaks up the story too much (I mean I probably wont change it but where i to go back and revamp the whole story I might want to do something different with these chapters)**

 **A little teaser for next chapter: Mina and Rhys, with the help of Anders discuss what happened back in the catacombs. Mina and Rhys start to leave but run into a bit of trouble before finally making it on their way.**

 **Tek Sonay:** thank you for your kind words! I'm glad Mina is a pitiable character but not pitiful. Thats what Im going for. She's not a total damsel in distress, she's just been through a lot! Thanks for the review!

 **Guest:** Haha, well I hope you grow to like Rhys. He kind of didn't think his plan all the way through but he's a good guy. The voice thing may be interesting! Next chapter should reveal a bit about it. Unfortunately, where they will be heading is not the temple that Daroth got the knife. Interesting that you mention that though! It'll come up again.

 **JaystarDeamon:** thanks! Glad you like them! I hope they continue to be that way!

 **PineappleGlasses:** Thank you! :D

 **sildarmillion:** Exactly. It just wouldn't feel right if she started off on another romantic relationship so soon after Daroth. And Rhys is the type that would take things slow as well. As different as they are, they are very similar.

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad I get to share this little story with so many wonderful readers!**


	38. Chapter 38

**NEW CHAPTER! Next week is the last chapter in this half (the final flashback). I'm still undecided on whether or not I'll split this up into parts or just keep writing and make this a LONG story so any ideas would be helpful. If I do split it (and even if I don't) I may take a week off of posting. Plus thats just around finals time and since I'm in my last semester of college...well...yeah.**

* * *

 _I hate to bring up heavy matters when we are sharing a light moment, but it needs to be dealt with. I clear my throat._

 _"Now that we are both dressed and ready, we need to talk about what happened back there." I don't even have to explain what I mean. It is still on the forefront of his mind as well it seems. The darkness._

 _Rhys nods, a seriousness coloring his features. "I think we do too._

…

We stare at one another, not sure where to start, when Anders enters the room.

"Well, now that you both are…" he trails off before becoming apprehensive and his voice going in a fatherly direction. "What happened?"

Rhys answers, his eyes never leaving me. "That's what we are wondering. Something very odd happened on our way here."

He speaks the words with no malice. While Rhys knows whatever had happened had not been intentional, he also knows it was because of me. Or, at least, because of my magic.

I finally break off our stares and turn my gaze to Anders.

"When we were on our way here, I was attacked by the darkness. I let myself dwell too much on what had just happened coupled with my hatred of Daroth and it had left me vulnerable. The darkness told me to kill Rhys, only when it passed, we found out that Rhys had heard the same voices as well."

Anders sits down and chews on the inside of his mouth. "I see. Sit, sit you two. Lets discuss this"

We both join Anders at the table.

"Now start at the very beginning of the evening. Maybe we glossed over the answer without knowing it. Try not to leave anything out this time."

As I retell what transpired tonight and Rhys adds his view when I miss something, Anders sits and stares at his hands, deep in thought. When I finish, both Rhys and I look at Anders expectantly.

He glances up at a snails pace, his features dead calm.

"Namina, dear, may I read you?"

Biting my lip, I nod and feel the pull of Anders's magic. After a brief moment, he sits back, looking utterly exhausted.

"Well, the good news is, the answer is quite simple. The bad news is that I know not the effect it will have on you two as it was done accidentally but still feels quite strong."

"What was done accidentally?" Rhys inquires. _Oh no._ Thousands of possibilities rush through my mind. I've probably endangered us both.

He glances between us both before saying what I wasn't expecting to hear.

"You both have made the Mage's Vow with one another."

"What?!"

"That can't be!"

We yell our responses at the same time.

Rhys looks at me with distress. "We've never taken on the Mage's Vow. You would think we would know if we had made such an important commitment."

"Anders, honestly, theres got to be a more logical explanation."

He shakes his head and smiles sadly. "I'm almost positive that is what happened. Princess-"

"Mina" I correct.

"Mina, your magic is very volatile at best and growing stronger every day, especially since having been reconnected with its source: the false King. As you shared, some time along the journey here, you and Rhys shared a small moment of togetherness and your magic, unknowingly to you both, created a bond."

My mind reels through the evening until I land on a possible point. In the catacombs, when Rhys had apologized again. Rhys had taken my hand in his and I had felt warmth. I had thought it had come from the comfort our strengthened friendship, but now…

 _Oh, this is just great..._

"So lets break it then." My voice is quiet as I let the words come out. I do not look to Rhys as I address Anders. I do not know if he is relieved at the idea or hurt. I do not want to know.

I feel a tug as Anders searches me again with his spirit magic, this time without asking. I swallow, reminded of the uses Daroth had for this particular strain of magic. When the feeling eases, Anders speaks once more.

"I'm afraid it isn't that simple, child. I'm sure the bond can be broken, but in the state your magic is, I believe it would be quite hard indeed and with great and negative consequences for the both of you. Best to leave it alone until a viable solution is found."

"I've trapped Rhys in my magic…"

I feel Rhys grab my hand and squeeze. "It's alright, Mina. This might be a good thing. I can share my strength with you when you feel the need to give in to the darkness."

"Yes, but-"

"And knowing what you feel when you are taken over by the darkness does not mean that I feel the darkness as well. Think of it more as omniscient observing. i just get a look inside what is going on from an outsiders perspective."

That is just it though: that fact that he can hear the darkness frightens me. A lot of it is based in Daroth's magic, but some, and I feel that part is growing stronger, is of my own mind. I'm slowly beginning to _want_ to give into the darkness.

"I don't think Rhys will actually ever be affected by your magic, Mina. It might make him stronger, but he won't be attacked as you are. That, I believe, is specifically driven from your bond with the soul sorcerer."

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths; letting the two men's words seep into my core.

"Okay then. This is not a bad thing. We will just move on from it."

Anders pats the hand that Rhys still holds. "Yes. Do not worry yourself, child. It will all work out. Just get to Zartha and pray the Ruids can heal you."

.

We leave the Mage's Guild soon after our conversation with Anders. While we need to leave the Capitol as soon as possible, Rhys relays to me that we need supplies.

Unfortunately, they're back at the castle complex.

Just the thought of returning turns my insides to lead. But if it means leaving Daroth behind for good, I'll do it. I'm still uneasy about it.

When we reach the royal stables, Rhys pulls me to a stop.

"I have to sneak into the barracks and grab our supplies. I'll only be gone a few moments. Fetch Nightshade and I will meet you back here."  
I nod watch Rhys run towards his quarters before I turn and walk into the morosely dark stable. The creaking of the rafters above startles me and causes my heart to race in my chest. I nearly scream at the hoot of an owl, nesting somewhere nearby.

 _It's only a stable, Namina. Just get Nightshade and get out._

Taking a deep breath, I walk further back.

I glance at each horse as I pass, looking for the all black stallion that I came to know quite well in the forests those many months ago. When I do find him he is lazily grazing in his stall.

He perks his head up at me when he hears me approach.

"Oh, Nightshade." I whisper and drag a hand down his nose.

The relief in seeing him is palpable but I know I will not feel completely relaxed until we are on our way. It's time to get out of here. Rhys should be nearly done.

I reach to unlatch the gate to his stall and start to pull the gate open, when it is slammed shut by a hand.

My mind stops working. I stare at the hand before my eyes follow from hand, to arm, to shoulder and finally to face.

My throat closes.

Lord Rane stands beside me, smiling.

.

"What have we here?" Rane asks in a mocking tone. I turn to run but trip, sprawling across the dirt floor of the stable. I scurry back on my hands and feet, trying to get far away as fast as possible.

He follows me slowly as if stalking prey, "And here I thought you were safely tucked away in a cell. Won't King Daroth be surprised to find you out and about. And in those trousers no less! A good look for you."

My breathing has become labored in my terror and I find my voice is useless. I cannot scream.

I cannot speak. I continue backing up until I hit one of the other gates with my shoulder. I use it to stand. My legs feel like jelly underneath me. Lord Rane reaches me.

"Planning to run away?" He grabs my arm.

I try to pull away but he spins me until my back is against his chest and one of his arms is wrapped around my body, holding my elbow tight enough to restrict movement. I struggle until I feel something sharp bite into my clavicle. A knife.

"Ah, ah! Now we wouldn't want to go spilling your royal blood would we? Lets just get you safe and sound back where you belong."

"Lord Rane, I command you release me." I finally manage. It is a pitiful command and he knows it. No one listens to the crazy Princess. Especially not when they are second in command.

His nose grazes my neck and I shudder, hesitantly trying to pull away but unable to stop the blade from going a bit deeper each time I do.

"Now, we can either make this situation easy…"he presses the knife even deeper and I feel it cut skin, "or very hard"

My mind is still in a panic but I try to calm my breathing and think.

 _You know how to get out of this. All those weeks with Rhys in the shed cannot be for naught!_

He continues to taunt and drag me toward the door of the stable as my mind whirls over countless scenarios.

If I don't end this now, someone will see us. Then it will be all over. Lord Rane will claim he caught me escaping and I will be back in the clutches of the devil.

Even if Rhys catches us, there will be other witnesses. One thing is for certain: I will not go back without some sort of fight.

 _Fight. Fight. Defend._

"Poor King Daroth will be so angered to hear about this, but we don't have to tell him. What say you to a little fun first? A little bit of begging beneath me, then I can put you back where you belong and he will be none the wiser. You always were a pretty one, though stubborn as a mule." The lecherous insinuations ring hollow in my mind. My only focus is ending this.

I feel anger boil up at being caught in such a stupid manner. I let it come and soak over me. With the anger, comes darkness. This time, I embrace it.

I. Will. Not. Go. Back.

Taking a deep breath, everything clicks in my head.

"I think not." I growl before slamming my head backwards. I use the arm Lord Rane is not holding to push back the knife and then elbow him in the stomach. He drops the knife in surprise and doubles over.

It only takes him seconds to recover. He leaps for me again, tackling me to the ground, his weight holding me down.

"You little…!"

He yells as we struggle. His hands grasp my wrists but in the chaos, my legs are still free. I jam I knee up into his groin and he doubles over and rocks back. I kick a second time and this time my knee connects with his jaw. While he is still absorbed in the pain, I lunge forward.

Now I am the one leaning over him, my hand pressed firmly on his chest.

Within milliseconds I find his soul and latch on to it. I stare into his eyes and watch as he realizes what I am about to do.

He panics and starts to move away but I flick my other hand in the air out of instinct and he freezes. It seems some of Daroth's summoning magic now is shared with me. With his careless syphoning of magic the other night, he seems to have grown our bond. Good and bad.

Lord Rane gasps and looks up at me in horror.

"I should rip your soul out." I bare my teeth as I seethe the words. "I should leave you for dead as a sign to Daroth. What are you worth anyway? You're just a pathetic man who will never amount to anything. Now, beg for your life." The words are my own but they are not. It is like I am watching the whole scene from afar. Part of my mind screams to step away, the other screams to end him.

I feel a deep dark giddiness at the turn of events. I am the one in control. I hold the power here. I make the last call.

"Beg!" I scream at the same time I twist his emotions. I could turn him numb, like I did to King Signor, but I want him to feel it. Let him feel what is means to be scared beyond reason. Let him know what it feels like to be so low.

To have no control.

Rane's eyes go wide and my hand rises and falls as his chest heaves. Tears coarse down his face. "Please, my lady…"

I glower down at the pathetic Lord before me.

 _Kill him. Kill this useless waste of a man. Show Daroth your true power._

My hand starts to glow a muted blue…

"Namina stop!"

Rane and I turn our heads at the same time to see Rhys standing in the opening of the stables not fifteen feet away. The bag he has been holding drops to the ground and he takes a step forward, his hands up in a placating manner. He is out of breath as if he has just run here.

"This is not you!" I hear.

"Please, my lady, please!" Lord Rane grovels beneath me. I turn my eyes back stare at him.

 _Just do it. Just kill him._

"Do not give in to the voices Namina. Let go of the darkness. You're stronger then it is."

 _Kill him._

"Don't do it!"

I let out a shaky breath and fist the hand over Lord Rane's chest.

I cant. Rhys is right.

This. Is. Not. Me.

 _Kill…_ the voices abate as clarity returns.

Lord Rane lets out a relieved sob mixed with a chuckle.

"I knew you didn't have it in you. You're too kind, Princess."

I know not if the words are meant to be supplication or sarcasm, but they bite regardless.

Slowly, the hate that fuels the murder in my heart subsides, but before it's all gone, I take my revenge: I slam a fist into Lord Rane's jaw, effectively knocking him out.

The sound of Rhys sighing in relief fills my ears and reflects my own feelings on this little matter.

Whimpering still reaches my ears and it takes a good moment before I realize the voice is my own.

Rhys grabs an arm to lift me to my feet but I pull away and stumble to the side before falling to my hands and knees and vomit.

"I didn't realize the darkness was this bad," his voice is guarded.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. He lends me a hand and pulls me to my feet once more. This time, I fall into his side and clutch at his tunic, both for comfort and to keep myself standing.

"I don't know what happened. I just let it take over."

He glances over at the prone Lord whose face is already starting to bruise from my punch. I'm glad of it.

"Judging by the outcome, I'd say you did good regardless. We'll find a way to combat this."

We lead nightshade to the discarded bag of travel supplies and rations.

"How did he find me?"

"That I am not certain. It might have been coincidence. I don't think he knew you were out of the dungeons until just now though. We would have been ambushed at the Guild if that were the case. After all, we were there for a good hour and a half."

I nod, agreeing with his logic.

Rhys stretches, dropping his arm from my shoulder. "Well, it's only a few hours from daybreak now. What say we leave this place and not look back?"

* * *

 _Guest:_ Well, there may be some metaphors that come into play later but I wont give anything away. :)

 **Thankful to everyone else who enjoys the flashbacks and thanks for the feedback! Its always appreciated.**

 **I almost didn't post this chapter. I just finished reading the latest book in my favorite series (Study books by Maria V Snyder) and its always hard to write after reading. SUCH a good book though. I'm still on a book high.**


	39. Chapter 39

**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: I've officially decided to split this story up into two parts so** **this is the last chapter in this half of the story. (I think after a week or so I'll switch the last two chapters up. It will flow better if it ends in "present time" I think.)**

 **I'm also going to take a bit of a break and kind of map out the rest of the story as well as focus on school for now so I won't start the second half until probably March. (But then I'll post weekly most likely on Thursdays or Fridays. I'll also post a note in this story for those who follow it so you can see when the new part is started.) It should be worth the wait as I have big plans for the second half. And I might be trying a different approach for it as far as structure, though not too different than now. Hopefully it will work out. I'm also thinking of one day taking all the flashbacks and separating it from the present day and making the story basically three parts but that will be a much later project. I feel its kind of too late in the game to make that change for now.**

 **ANYWAYS, I digress. Here is the rest of the story and I'll see you all in March for more of Mina's adventures!**

(Also, I'm not going to lie. The first part of this chapter was written hastily because I was fed up with it. I'll come back in and refine it later but its enough to catch the drift. Sorry. Its very lazy of me but its been a busy week.)

* * *

 ** _Three Days Before_**

"What's this?" I turned to see Mara holding up the owl feather cloak. My stomach knotted.

The owl feather cloak had still been in its box beside my bed. I hadn't been able to bring myself to look at it again after Daroth had made me open it.

"A cruel joke. Do you remember the owl from the menagerie? The one from Parth."

Disgust passed over Mara's features. "Really? How awful?"

"Yes. I think I'll just get rid of it now."

I took the cloak from her and strode toward my fireplace. Mara rummaged through the other three boxes, hanging up the dresses in my armoire. Ten feet away from the flames, I tripped and ended up sprawled on the floor. Anger coursed through me, but then...

...I realized that my fall had made no sound whatsoever. While most of my floors were covered with carpets, the area near the fireplace was stone. There should have been at least some sound. I looked over to Mara who was oblivious to what had just happened. She turned, catching a glimpse of me on the floor and frowned.

"Princess? What are you doing?"

"Did you not hear that?"

"Hear what?"

I glanced at the feather cloak in my hand and then stood. I pulled the cloak on over my shoulders and fastened it.

"I'm going to try making as much noise as possible. Tell me if you hear anything."

I jumped, stomped, and tried a handful of other things but no noise omitted from me other than what was spoken. My movements were silent as the grave. After a time, I turned back to my friend.

"It..it's enchanted..." I couldn't keep the amazement from coloring my tone.

"Miraculous!" Mara's eyes were wide.

"Wait. What's this? Pockets?"

I plunged my hand into one of the pockets. It felt deep. Much too deep for what it should have been.

Mara blinked, her eyes growing even wider each time. She took a step back "Do you know what this means, Princess?"

I looked at her, confused.

She lowered her voice and looked around before speaking even though we were the only two in my chambers. "It means that no one will hear you if you were to run. Given enough distraction, you could slip past your guards and ..."

"...and if I make it out of the palace, surely no one would recognize me!" I finished the train of thought.

We stared at one another with wonderment.

"How do you think the magic became part of the cloak?"

"It must have been the owl. I knew it was special. Daroth should have never murdered it."

"Yes, but don't you find it ironic that Daroth is the one who gave you the means to escape? This is a blessing, Princess."

"Are we really doing this?" my voice cracked with excitement. Mara bit back a laugh and snatched a map from across the room. She laid it out across my bed.

"The Gallen border is five leagues due east of here. If you run until you hit the river and then swim across, you'll be in Gallen. It should be shallow enough if you go just the right way." I watched her finger trace the parchment from our palace to the location she specified. It looked a short distance on the map. Five leagues, though...That was nearly fifteen miles.

"But how will I get out of the palace? I don't have anything in my wardrobe inconspicuous enough to pull this off."

"I can fetch you clothing. I know one of the men who works in the stables. He can surely manage to find us something. I won't tell him it's for you."

All these thoughts settled into me until only nervousness shook my being. I had never left the palace more than a handful of times in my entire life, most of those times to the city of Renor, right outside our walls "Come with me, Mara. I can't do this alone."

Mara shook her head and smiled. "You can and you will. It would be too obvious if we both disappeared. I will distract your guards long enough for you to make it to Gallen. I can tell them that you've headed the other way. Remaining behind is your insurance that this will work. You should leave tonight."

"No. I should wait. Daroth would expect me to try something so bold right now. I have to let him think he has won so he will put his guard down. Three nights from now? The night of the second ball?" It would be cutting it close but it was the only shot I thought I really had.

Mara bit her lip and ran her hands through her long blonde hair before standing a bit straighter and giving me a bold look. "Yes. Three nights. Let's get you out of here."

I was really going to do this.

Untying the cloak, I pulled it into my arms and hugged it.

 ** _Five Hours Before_**

"Our congratulations, your highnesses" Lady Endra crooned. Daroth smiled wide and bowed in return.

"Thank you. We've been looking forward to this merriment for some time now. It's a lining in the dark cloud of the past few weeks."

I felt a small shove as Daroth prodded me to say something as well.

"Yes, Thank you Lady Endra." I added with little emotion. Being the second day of dancing and outlandish frivolousness, I was tired. Balls had never been my thing, but this one seemed especially raucous. The alcohol was pouring freely. I, however, did not even get the simple pleasure of having a drink. Daroth had cut off my intake after finding a bottle of my father's vintage wine stashed in my room. It had been the only thing that had gotten me through the last two weeks. This being the night before our impending marriage, I really ached for the burn down my throat and the fuzziness of thought.

 _Not tonight, Namina. You've almost made it. a few hours more,_ I chided myself.

I stood on Daroth's arm, dressed in the midnight blue gown that shown like the stars, my hair done up in loose curls. My makeup was simple, as I had done it myself. The night before, he had sent several ladies in to don me up in the sky blue gown and fix my hair and face. What I ended up becoming was closer to a courtesan than a princess. I had refused help from anyone but Mara this time.

He patted my arm in small approval as we moved from guest to guest saying much the same thing. This was the second night of gratuitous revelry. I was just glad it would be my last.

Hopefully.

Daroth leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Shall we go greet more of our subjects?"

I turned "I suppose its only best. We've not heard congratulations from everyone just yet. I believe we've denied at least five guests the opportunity to dote on us."

He tsked at me. "What a tongue! I do think you are right in your sarcasm however. We have talked to too many people. How about allowing me to lead you through a waltz then? Hmm?"

I gave a grim smile. There was no use saying no. "As the future King requests."

We joined the throng of dancing courtiers.

His hand felt hot on my waist. My heart pitter-pattered in my apprehension. I just needed to get through this night. It was almost over. A few more hours with Daroth and then I could leave this all behind.

After several dances and more useless and petty conversations, the ball came to a close. It was announced that some of the higher ranked gentlemen would be invited to the King's old office for drinks and discussion but that the ladies were dismissed for the evening. Daroth spoke grandly of the upcoming ceremony scheduled for tomorrow and promised an even bigger celebration following. His words were met with a polite clapping before the guests began to retire.

I curtsied to Daroth, anxious to leave his side. "I bid you goodnight." My words were curt and direct.

As I turned to leave, he caught my arm.

My first reaction was to flinch. He knew my plans. But as I met his eyes I only saw the usual smugness in their blue depths.

"Allow me to escort you to your chambers, Princess. I'd hate for you to have to walk there all by yourself."

"I thought you would be heading to the gentlemen's gathering"

"I am, but I still want the pleasure of returning you to your rooms. It's not far out of the way after all."

 **.**

We walked through the nearly deserted hallways towards my chambers.

"I'm surprised by how well behaved you were this evening little bird. Everything in me expected you to act out. I even had some of my guard waiting in the hallway in case you got it in that pretty little head of yours to try something."

"I see no reason to fight when already defeated," the words burned my throat. Even though part of me actually felt that way, there was the flame of rebellion growing stronger every moment. I had to play on my defeat if I were to pull this off.

Let him think he has won. Give him the satisfaction of the upper hand.

Then destroy it.

"You make it sound so bad. At least you'll have a conciliation prize in return for my victory."

I was pulled to him until our chests were flush with one another.

"A doting husband. A stronger king."

His lips traced the curve of my jaw before landing on my own. I gave little reply before turning my head away.

"I am tired, my lord." I spat. He laughed and cupped my chin, his thumb stroking a soft path on my cheek.

"I won't take much more of your impertinence but consider this a wedding present. I'll let you have your way one more night. Tomorrow, you'll be mine once more: body and soul. Orders will be obeyed."

I shivered under his touch and glared into those blue eyes. My hands fisted of their own accord.

"How generous of you."

Daroth backed up and gestured for one of my guards to open my door for me.

"I look forward to seeing you in that wedding dress tomorrow, Namina."

His hands roved my shoulders and down my arms until he held my hands in his.

I said nothing, not trusting myself in this moment.

With freedom only hours away, I couldn't bring myself to give a reply.

Daroth took my silence in stride. I know not if he thought it me trying to be rude or if I just was falling back into a more docile role but he did not think much of it.

He only brought a hand up to his mouth and kissed it.

"Until the morning, sweet."

 ** _Three Hours Before_**

"You know what you must do?" I asked her while changing into the clothing she had brought me: a tan tunic and shirt that belonged to a stable hand on the palace grounds.

"Yes, highness. I do."

"Good" I slipped on the cloak, already loaded with the few things I had wanted to bring. Looking at the bed, I had a distinct impression to take the dark star-spackled dress with me as well. I walked over and folded the garment up before slipping it in the deep pocket. It felt weightless within the confines of the cloak. When I turned back, Mara stared at me, her eyes shining with wetness.

"Oh don't do this now. I can't handle it." I said in a quiet tone. If Mara started to get emotional on me, I would probably follow suit.

"I'm sorry. It's just, I'm going to miss you Namina. You're my dearest friend"

I stepped up until I stood right in front of her. "And you are mine"

Mara pulled me into an embrace. I wrapped my arms around her, not wanting to let go and not wanting to leave our friendship behind. I did not know what would come of her, but I knew I would not be returning after this moment. The thought pained me.

"I'll never forget you," I whispered into her hair. She sobbed under my hold and I felt the tears of my own regret at leaving her prick my eyes.

I couldn't let myself cry, though. I had to be strong.

We pulled apart and Mara wiped her eyes with a hand before smiling.

"You should go, Princess. Daroth may return at any time. You know how he likes to drop by unexpectedly"

Did I ever. I nodded, letting the notion of escaping my prison of a palace buoy me up. There was a large chance that all would go wrong. In fact, the only way I would be able to make it out of the palace undetected was if everything went precisely perfect. I rubbed a hand down the feathers. If the cloak were magical, surely I would be aided in this endeavor. I had faith this would work.

It _had_ to work.

Checking once to make sure my owl feather cloak was securely fashioned and pulling up the hood, I made my way to the door.

Once there I took up a spot where when the door opened, I would be hidden

"Are you ready?" Mara asked as she stepped in front of me.

I took a deep breath and did all I could to ignore the feeling of nausea in my core.

"Yes." Mara smiled and then opened the door. I shut my eyes, sending a prayer up that this would work.

That I would make it out.

"Guards! It's the princess! Come quick!" she shrilled. I couldn't help a small smile as I marveled at her acting skills.

"She's in the bathing chamber!" Shadows passed in a flurry of motion as footsteps left the doorway and headed deeper into my chambers.

Once they were all out of sight, I did not hesitate.

I did not look back.

I simply ran.

* * *

 **Just a note: the countdown is leading the very opening of the story of when Namina made it to the Irisidean/Gallen border and jumped.**

 **Thank you so much! You make it worth it! I just wanted to give a huge thank you to all you who read this story and especially those who have reviewed and given me so much feedback. This story is far from perfect and steadily evolving (I've already figured out a few things I want to go back and change) and knowing that you all get at least a bit of enjoyment from reading this makes me so happy! So thank you!**

 ** _Guest:_** _You don't have to worry. This story will have a happy ending! Maybe some bumps along the way but all will end well. :)_

 ** _sildarmillion:_** _Thanks for the thoughts as they are much appreciated!_

 _As far as the vow Namina made with Daroth, (the Soul Binding or Blood Oath to exact) it is still strong and she is still tied to him, but she is also getting stronger magically because of it. Daroth can still syphon her powers but he's losing the control he had over her (like the commands and such) because she is getting to the point that she's powerful enough to withstand it at least somewhat if not all the way. And there's also the fact that her hear of him is starting to lessen as she realizes her own strengths. So they're becoming more evenly matched but its hard to tell because she left again. She'll never be "stronger" than Daroth, however.  
_ _Also, because of the Blood Oath and the fact that it is dark magic and Daroth is tainted with it, Namina is now becoming more and more susceptible to darker temptations (what she calls the darkness, i.e. the voices in her head and the desire to give in). We don't know yet if Daroth has gone through the same thing at all...that might come up later._


	40. Chapter 40

I keep my arms tight against Rhys and lay my head on his back as he speeds Nightshade into a gallop.

I feel as if I cannot breathe fully until we are out of the capitol and deeper into the countryside. Rane will alert Daroth of my escape. That is for sure. Part of me still wishes I _had_ just killed him.

We stay away from villages as we travel, only stopping to sleep for a few hours and water Nightshade right after dawn, and we keep a fast pace. Anyone in pursuit will have a hard time catching up.

That night we sleep in a cave off a beaten path. I warm myself in front of the fire we had built as Rhys gathers more wood. Despite being further south and the snow beginning to melt, the night is chilly and we will need the extra warmth. It is still early in the year and winter is still in full force.

I stare at the dancing flames as Rhys drops the wood in a pile and joins me by the fire's inviting glow.

"It'll be forest floors and caves for a while. We should reach a small village in a few nights. When we get there will stay under false names. You are Gertie and I am Hans Elderbrook, man and wife on route to Venerath for the wedding of your cousin. And we hail from Northern Gallen." He says

"You've definitely thought this through."

"I've had time. I couldn't sleep earlier."

"Are you nervous?" I meet his gaze with my own.

"Yes. You?"

A pause. "Yes." Rhys is focused on the dark outside our cave as if he can already see Ardenelle and what waits beyond.

"Why did you come with me?"

He huffs and leans back on his hands, giving me an amused look. "Again? Mina, we already talked about this."

"Yes, yes, you want to help me and you don't think I can do it on my own. Is that the only reason? You've left everything behind. I _know_ you didn't talk to Captain Garron either. You _deserted_ your position."

His give me a steely look. "What makes you assume that?"

"You had to sneak back in to get your supplies. If Garron knew you were leaving, there would be no need for that. You would've already had everything ready."

"Sometimes you're too observant for your own good, Princess."

I shrug and poke the fire with a stick. "It makes up for my lack of common knowledge."

A chuckle emits from Rhys before he sighs deep. "Yes, I deserted. For one, I couldn't tell them I was escorting the deranged princess out of proper custody without being detained myself. No one knows Ive left."

The truth of the situation stings. I have been officially labeled as ill and out of my mind. Daroth must be so happy.

"And if I'm being completely honest, its because I was ready to leave. I'm tired of serving the King."

"So you joined the ranks in the Princess's guard."

He smirks "No, I accompanied a friend on a grand adventure to get her life back."

If only this were a grand adventure. Something within me tells me that this will be anything but _grand_.

"Well, we are already off to a great start. First, I drag you into my magic and bind you to me, sorry about that by the way, and then I nearly kill Lord Rane with dark soul magic. All this after I spend a few days in prison for stabbing the Crown Prince of Gallen. My grand adventure sure seems messy and brutal."

Rhys laughs but doesn't say anything in response.

"I really am sorry about the Mage's Vow. You didn't need to get pulled into this."

Rhys silences me with a stern look. "Mina, stop. We've done too much of this apologizing to one another tonight. Enough to last us for the rest of eternity. Lets just move on and focus on whats ahead. We've both made huge mistakes the last few days." Properly chastised, I turn back to the flames as they swirl around and spark in a fast-paced dance.

The burning wood crackles loudly in the new silence as we both ponder what will happen.

"It doesn't bother me you know." Rhys says after several tense minutes.

"What?"

"Being connected to you through the Mage's Vow. Now I'm not saying I would've wanted to take on such a vow had I been given the choice, but out of everyone, I'm glad its you that I'm vowed to." Another warm feeling blooms in my chest. The Mage's Vow is a way to connect two mages together in a way that is stronger than words. Sometimes it is used as a romantic notion that replaces marriage. While I don't think Rhys means it to be that way, I blush at the idea of us being bound in such a way.

 _Stop this, foolish girl. Its embarrassing even just to think about the fact that we..._

I shake my head and start to laugh. At first it comes in small bursts but grows in volume until I'm clutching my stomach and laying down.

Rhys stares, wide eyed.

"W-We made...the Mage's Vow... _!_ I don't know...why...why that is so funny...but..." the laughter catches in my throat and I cannot speak anymore. Suddenly, Rhys joins in the laughter, realizing what I mean.

He falls back and brings his hands to his mouth. "Oh Gods! You've practically married us!"

"Please...don't say that!... I can't breathe!" I say between fits, turning my head. We stare at each other as we lay only a foot apart, laughing at the absurdity of it all.

When our laughter subsides, I smile, tears pricking my eyes. Rhys sighs and takes my hand, kissing my knuckles playfully.

"I like seeing you happy."

"I cannot tell if I'm happy or delirious but I'll take it. I just finally feel safe once again."

He pats my hand before letting it go and sits up.

"Good. I'll pull out the bedrolls. Lets get some sleep."

I relax where I lay, letting the content feeling of carelessness course through me. While i know we have a long road ahead and the fear has not left my heart, Rhys's words spoken the first night I met him echo in my mind:

"You are never alone."


	41. Chapter 41

**_Had to add something to the end of part one to really get ready for part two. Also hi! Its been a while. Summer was CA-RAY-ZAY. But_** ** _anywho, here is a snippet of Daroth's thoughts. I'll be revamping part two a bit and changing somethings. Also within part one I'm editing good chunks. Nothing is changing much. For those that don't feel like a re-read, The Forest of Night and Teeth is just the Forest of Night now. It'll be better explained in part two. Also the whole reason the guard was at Endor at the beginning of the story is the Black Guard. I'll be adding them a bit earlier in the story as well as adding in Namina's drinking problem in the present day a bit earlier (seems weird she just all the sudden has a problem right before the ball) Lastly, Mina and Daroth's tug of war they always seem to have in the flashbacks is more subdued with Daroth having the upper hand. He got close to breaking her. She shouldn't be AS obstinate as she is. But don't worry. Her fight is still there. She's still Mina._**

 ** _So theres an update. Hopefully I can get around to putting more of part two up this week and get the story rolling._**

 ** _Thanks! Enjoy!_**

* * *

 ** _DAROTH_**

Daroth sat casually as he took in the King of Gallen and his son. Five days he had waited for this meeting. Five days of ceaseless frustration. There had been a multitude of excuses to keep them all from gathering, as simple as it would have been to have had this meeting, say, five days ago.

Five days since Namina had escaped. His blood boiled.

"Her accomplice was one of your own guard by my knowledge. As I said, a tall young man with white hair." he continued describing the man who had tipped him off. And then betrayed him. There were special punishments for those who betrayed him and this man would receive them all if he ever saw him again. It was lucky that Rane had recognized him from before or they may not have had this information. Rane of course could not be here. He was too busy healing from several nasty injuries he had suddenly acquired. From Daroth's own hand.

King Eddard's eyes saddened. "You describe the captain's second, Rhys Farrowslake. Out of all the men on my security he would be the last I would've suspected but given the circumstances..."

Daroth waited cooly for the king to continue. Not that he cared the circumstances.

Well, rumors do have it that he was sweet on her. A man will do strange things for a woman when he is in love with her."

"I understand more than most, King Eddard. Princess Namina once held my heart as strongly as well. I still love her, but I see her for what she is. She may be sick in the mind but she is also cunning. I still do not find that an excuse or see how that clears your guards name." Short and clipped. Daroth kept his words short and clipped to keep from screaming at the stupid man in the Gallen crown.

Everyone here was an imbecile.

King Eddard sighed. "Nor do I. Believe me King Daroth, once you have your Princess back in custody you may also have his head. Treason is treason and I swear to you again that I have had nothing to do with her disappearance. She stabbed my son. She is no friend of mine."

They both glanced over to Prince Saranthen who had been listening unobtrusively. He shuddered and then winced as the movement pulled at his shoulder as he realized the attention was now wholly fixed on him. "I still cannot believe she is as you say. If I had not felt the blade…I am just glad she missed my heart." Sarenthen patted the bandages on his shoulder lightly as if to emphasize.  
"I as well, Prince." Daroth said with a gentle smile.

It did not reach his eyes.

Things would be much simpler right now if Namina had just done as he had commanded. There would be none of this senseless prattle with the Gallens. Action. He needed action.

The Prince continued his babbling. It was surprising just how much the young man could speak before breaking for air. "Princess Namina just seemed so distraught that night. Not like how I had seen her before. She used to tend to me after spars and practices. Always a quiet one, she was, but very balanced. So opposite of that night."

The smile dropped from Daroth's lips as his mind flittered towards thoughts of his new wife and _that night_.  
"Forgive my cruel words but she is a harpy. She acts to get what she wants. I do love her, truly, but I also realize what she is: a danger to us all."

He had almost had her, but once more he somehow had been bested. Fury raced through his veins as he thought of her. As he thought of how she had slipped from his fingers without notice. To be completely honest, he wanted nothing more than to strangle that little neck of hers, to sap the very life out of those grey eyes over and over again. If it weren't for the stronger draw of power he would have already tried to kill her after she ran the first time. Namina's insolence was infuriating and almost not worth keeping her alive, lithe and pretty as she was.

It could have been anyone on the other side of the vow, he knew, but he had chosen her both for her strong magical abilities and her lineage as a Princess, a strong mix that had so far let him reap many benefits from their joining. There would be many more to come if he could keep from killing her first.

And on the other hand, the game seemed so much more interesting now that the stakes were higher. They were both growing in power, a nice touch from the vows. She may have slipped his trap but he could still stalk his prey into a corner with just the right amount of patience. As she grew stronger so did he. And she would never surpass him.

Even if she wanted to.

She would not best him.

He would see her broken. He would find them both and torture the life out of that damned guard in front of her.

 _No_ , he thought as a real smile played with the corners of his lips. He would make her do it. He would watch her break herself by breaking him. And then he'd take her. Yes, the thought was comforting.

The smile came a bit more easily now.

In the end, Namina would pay dearly for this and she would finally be his.

The king steepled his fingers. "I can send a few legions out to search. They are preparing as we speak and those who knew Farrowlake will be separated and questioned."

Daroth held up a hand. "No need for your legions but do question his colleagues. I will send some of my personal guard to hunt them both down. I know the Princess and her ways. My men will have an easier and cleaner time finding them. Just strengthen all borders to keep them in Gallen as long as possible."

They were riding south, he could feel it. Where they were heading he could not know, just that he had a sense of the princess enough to know the general direction she would seek. Rane had mentioned overhearing something about enchantments. Could they have been heading for the Forest of the Night? That reminded him...

"Also If I may, King? I am soon bound to interrogate your local guilds. Namina has always had a fascination with magic and someone may have knowledge as to her whereabouts. I am requesting permission to use force if necessary to get the answers I seek."

The guild would know something. He sensed that as well.

"It is granted."

He stood to take his leave and bowed respectfully to the King and his son. The action made him sick. They were the ones who should have been bowing to him. He let that revulsion color his next words.

"I look forward to talking more of peace once this whole debacle is settled. For now, be on your guard. If I find that any of you had something to do with my dear Princess's leaving, I will take action that will forever ruin our already pitiable alliance." At this point it was merely courtesy that he wasn't killing them all where they sat. As much as he wished he could.

"I do not appreciate your words, King Daroth but I understand. We will talk later. Thank you"

The King stared hard at Daroth but it did nothing more to intimidate him back. Daroth held all the power here and they both knew it. If there was one good thing out of Namina's disappearance it was this.

He left the room with the tension still pliable in the air. As he walked down the halls towards his own designated chambers he brooded to himself. The guards on either side of him, personal choices from his Black Guard, walked silently in step.

Yes, there would be plenty of time to destroy the Gallen rulers later. He was here for a fortnight after all. That was plenty of time to start a war or overthrow a monarchy.

For today, the focus would be on Namina.

The fury at her escape came flooding back through his veins and colored his skin with its heat.

 _Damn her._

He had failed to reach her dreams the last few nights. It was time for a new course in action.

She was growing stronger in this area, but again, he would be stronger still. He could not pull her into dreams like before but there were other ways of contacting the wretched princess's mind and exploiting her thoughts.

Daroth's jaw set with resolve.

He had a little bird to speak to.

 _ **\- CONTINUED IN PART TWO -**_


End file.
